ONLINE EXHIBITIONISTS

The thrill of putting it
all out there
For exhibitionists, the Internet is an ideal fantasy playground
By Brian Alexander

Not long into my instant message conversation with "Don," it's obvious there is no way to know if he is who he says he is, if he's answering my questions honestly or if he's playing me for a chump. All I know for sure is that Don placed an image on his IM profile that appeared on my monitor when we began chatting. At first the image he used to represent himself was that of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. But he's just replaced that one with another, so now I'm looking at a shot of a torso complete with an erect penis. I assume that's him, but then again, you never know.

Don, an American, says he is on a business trip to Europe and doing what he often does during downtime - firing up his Web cam and exposing himself to the world. The body parts look to be about the right age, 49, and his conversation seems mature enough. Plus, I have managed to contact Don through other online exhibitionists I have met in person. Still, it's possible Don is actually a lonely retiree in Yellowknife, Canada who's surfing the Internet between glances at "Wheel of Fortune."

This is exactly the point of online exhibitionism, and why so many people have started doing it. You can be as free as you want to expose as much of yourself as you want without looking over your shoulder for the county sheriff. This makes the Internet an ideal fantasy playground where anybody can launch naked signal flares into the digital sky to announce: "I'm here, and I'm hot."

Homemade erotica has been around forever. When Polaroid introduced its Model 95 camera in 1948, average people were given the power to produce personal porn on a mass scale because nobody had to develop the pictures. But digital culture has broadened the possibilities. There are dozens of ways to use digital media to expose yourself, ranging from the mild to the X-rated.

Bikini retailers host online "customer galleries" featuring women (and sometimes men) wearing thongs and see-through tops, or no tops at all. On some sites, Web surfers can send e-mails to their favorite bikini-clad woman stating just how much they appreciate the view.

Popular exhibitionist Web sites such as Red Clouds, Watcher's Web, Voyeurweb and True Voyeur offer the same service, allowing every man and woman the chance to let the world see what they look like naked on a rubber float in the backyard pool or spread-eagle in the Barcalounger, and to read how excited (or not) that makes others. The sites appear to have a strong following. Among users of the Alexa Web search Toolbar, for instance, Voyeurweb ranks as the 398th most popular Web site over the past three months. In other words, out of every million users, 1,075 go to Voyeurweb and average 17.7 page views.

There also are sex blogs everywhere now, and MySpace and Flickr are populated by people posing like porn stars.

Of course, "online exhibitionism" sounds creepily similar to "online predator" and "kiddie porn," and the potential for that kind of abuse is great.

But the exhibitionists I contacted all stress that not only are they concerned parents themselves who closely monitor the Internet use of their kids, they also regard such use of the technology as a scourge.



The mom next door
For Susan, Internet exhibitionism has uses of a very interactive kind. I visited Susan in her Maryland home with "Michael" (who asked I not use his real first name), a man Susan met online. Susan uses the Net to trade images of herself with individuals and couples she meets through computer chats and online ads. Sometimes she is naked, sometimes she's performing a sex act.

Susan describes herself "as very much an exhibitionist," but she's nothing like the grizzled guy in the trench coat. She is a middle-aged medical professional, a church-goer and a mother. She is studying for an advanced degree. She calls herself "Rubenesque" and though she is attractive, she does not look like a centerfold model.

"Something I am not interested in is losing my sexuality," she says. "For a woman that is more of a fight." Taking digital pictures of herself, trading them with others and knowing they appreciate them helps her reclaim her feminine sexual identity.

Michael and Susan met when she answered an ad he placed on Craigslist (where ads for sex partners often display the advertiser's genitals). They exchanged nude pictures, met in person and have now struck up what Michael, also a middle-aged professional who works as an executive at a high-tech company and is a father, calls "an intimate friendship." Sometimes they include other people they meet online in their lovemaking, in threesomes or foursomes.

For Michael and Susan, the digital realm is liberating. "I can be free to think the things I want to think and not only think them but act upon them," he says. "How cool is that? You can dream the dream and then go make it real. This is a portal into a parallel universe. I mean, it's a wild world."

That world has been further fueled by technology. Thanks to broadband connections, Web cams and instant messaging, anybody can carve out a space in which they can act in ways they might not outside the virtual world.

"At church ... or wherever your community is, you cannot be real open and talk about your sexuality," Susan says. "But you sure can online. And you can very easily find somebody who is interested in the same things you are."

Many online exhibitionists have no idea who is on the other end of a Web cam and don't really want to know. But some, like Susan and Michael, eventually drop the anonymity because their ultimate goal is to make online fantasies real. "My goal is skin to skin," Susan says.

Don, Susan and Michael do not generally put their pictures up on public Web sites, preferring instead to trade and communicate - often using instant messaging - with a more select audience of their own choosing. Susan, for example, has occasionally viewed Don's camming sessions. She says finding an audience is not difficult.

"I do have ads up on a couple of different Web sites but I think there are networks of people," Susan says. "If you meet somebody and they know 20 people who know 20 people who know 20 people, it is pretty easy to get an expanded community."

That is just what Don has created. At first, he surfed the Web looking for still images of naked female exhibitionists. Then around the year 2000, "when I learned that computers could broadcast cams, I watched a few ladies, usually only topless, perform for me on the Web... Eventually I met a [woman] from Florida who showed me everything and begged me to get a cam. I did, and soon found myself stripping for her. I looked for others who liked it too, and didn't have to look far."

For Don, "camming" usually means displaying himself masturbating, often with one or more women, and sometimes a man, as his audience. Often the camming is mutual, with Don and a woman, using her Web cam to display herself to Don, instant messaging dirty talk back and forth.



'Avenue of escape'
Now, Don tells me, he has about 120 regulars with whom he frequently chats and "cams." He has had virtual sex over the cam with many more people than that, and he does it most nights when he is on the road.

"The digital world," he says, "gives me an avenue of escape to secret desires where I can find fulfillment." He is able to satisfy " private hard-core lover hidden inside of me" that he can express online in anonymity.

That anonymity is important because Don, who tells me he is a conservative Republican Catholic and somewhat shy in real life, is married with children. His wife knows nothing about his online sex life.

"I am basically a moral person but flawed major league when it comes to sex," he says. "And yet there is this secret side to me that must be satisfied … I have always had a streak of exhibitionism in me and felt guilty about that."

He is torn. On the one hand, he worries there might be something wrong with him. On the other, he feels release when he's "camming."

"I think of [online exhibitionism] as pure erotic expression of human desire," he says. "We seek escape from our difficulties, from our routine or pressures, and this gives it to us."

So far, it's tough to say whether Don's form of escape will continue to grow, or if the novelty of digitally mediated exhibitionism will wear off. But it's clear that, for now at least, many Americans are thrilled by the prospect of being their own porn star.

Brian Alexander, a California-based freelance writer and MSNBC.com's Sexploration columnist, is traveling around the country to find out how Americans get sexual satisfaction. Alexander, also a Glamour contributing editor, is chronicling his work in the MSNBC.com special report "America Unzipped" and in an upcoming book for Harmony, an imprint of Crown Publishing.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

We have listed at least 4 predators at EOPC who are voyeurs and exhibitionists.

WARNING SOME ADULT CONTENT!! MUST BE 18 TO CLICK!
ONE, TWO , and THREE

ONLINE EXHIBITIONISTS

The thrill of putting it
all out there
For exhibitionists, the Internet is an ideal fantasy playground
By Brian Alexander

Not long into my instant message conversation with "Don," it's obvious there is no way to know if he is who he says he is, if he's answering my questions honestly or if he's playing me for a chump. All I know for sure is that Don placed an image on his IM profile that appeared on my monitor when we began chatting. At first the image he used to represent himself was that of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. But he's just replaced that one with another, so now I'm looking at a shot of a torso complete with an erect penis. I assume that's him, but then again, you never know.

Don, an American, says he is on a business trip to Europe and doing what he often does during downtime - firing up his Web cam and exposing himself to the world. The body parts look to be about the right age, 49, and his conversation seems mature enough. Plus, I have managed to contact Don through other online exhibitionists I have met in person. Still, it's possible Don is actually a lonely retiree in Yellowknife, Canada who's surfing the Internet between glances at "Wheel of Fortune."

This is exactly the point of online exhibitionism, and why so many people have started doing it. You can be as free as you want to expose as much of yourself as you want without looking over your shoulder for the county sheriff. This makes the Internet an ideal fantasy playground where anybody can launch naked signal flares into the digital sky to announce: "I'm here, and I'm hot."

Homemade erotica has been around forever. When Polaroid introduced its Model 95 camera in 1948, average people were given the power to produce personal porn on a mass scale because nobody had to develop the pictures. But digital culture has broadened the possibilities. There are dozens of ways to use digital media to expose yourself, ranging from the mild to the X-rated.

Bikini retailers host online "customer galleries" featuring women (and sometimes men) wearing thongs and see-through tops, or no tops at all. On some sites, Web surfers can send e-mails to their favorite bikini-clad woman stating just how much they appreciate the view.

Popular exhibitionist Web sites such as Red Clouds, Watcher's Web, Voyeurweb and True Voyeur offer the same service, allowing every man and woman the chance to let the world see what they look like naked on a rubber float in the backyard pool or spread-eagle in the Barcalounger, and to read how excited (or not) that makes others. The sites appear to have a strong following. Among users of the Alexa Web search Toolbar, for instance, Voyeurweb ranks as the 398th most popular Web site over the past three months. In other words, out of every million users, 1,075 go to Voyeurweb and average 17.7 page views.

There also are sex blogs everywhere now, and MySpace and Flickr are populated by people posing like porn stars.

Of course, "online exhibitionism" sounds creepily similar to "online predator" and "kiddie porn," and the potential for that kind of abuse is great.

But the exhibitionists I contacted all stress that not only are they concerned parents themselves who closely monitor the Internet use of their kids, they also regard such use of the technology as a scourge.



The mom next door
For Susan, Internet exhibitionism has uses of a very interactive kind. I visited Susan in her Maryland home with "Michael" (who asked I not use his real first name), a man Susan met online. Susan uses the Net to trade images of herself with individuals and couples she meets through computer chats and online ads. Sometimes she is naked, sometimes she's performing a sex act.

Susan describes herself "as very much an exhibitionist," but she's nothing like the grizzled guy in the trench coat. She is a middle-aged medical professional, a church-goer and a mother. She is studying for an advanced degree. She calls herself "Rubenesque" and though she is attractive, she does not look like a centerfold model.

"Something I am not interested in is losing my sexuality," she says. "For a woman that is more of a fight." Taking digital pictures of herself, trading them with others and knowing they appreciate them helps her reclaim her feminine sexual identity.

Michael and Susan met when she answered an ad he placed on Craigslist (where ads for sex partners often display the advertiser's genitals). They exchanged nude pictures, met in person and have now struck up what Michael, also a middle-aged professional who works as an executive at a high-tech company and is a father, calls "an intimate friendship." Sometimes they include other people they meet online in their lovemaking, in threesomes or foursomes.

For Michael and Susan, the digital realm is liberating. "I can be free to think the things I want to think and not only think them but act upon them," he says. "How cool is that? You can dream the dream and then go make it real. This is a portal into a parallel universe. I mean, it's a wild world."

That world has been further fueled by technology. Thanks to broadband connections, Web cams and instant messaging, anybody can carve out a space in which they can act in ways they might not outside the virtual world.

"At church ... or wherever your community is, you cannot be real open and talk about your sexuality," Susan says. "But you sure can online. And you can very easily find somebody who is interested in the same things you are."

Many online exhibitionists have no idea who is on the other end of a Web cam and don't really want to know. But some, like Susan and Michael, eventually drop the anonymity because their ultimate goal is to make online fantasies real. "My goal is skin to skin," Susan says.

Don, Susan and Michael do not generally put their pictures up on public Web sites, preferring instead to trade and communicate - often using instant messaging - with a more select audience of their own choosing. Susan, for example, has occasionally viewed Don's camming sessions. She says finding an audience is not difficult.

"I do have ads up on a couple of different Web sites but I think there are networks of people," Susan says. "If you meet somebody and they know 20 people who know 20 people who know 20 people, it is pretty easy to get an expanded community."

That is just what Don has created. At first, he surfed the Web looking for still images of naked female exhibitionists. Then around the year 2000, "when I learned that computers could broadcast cams, I watched a few ladies, usually only topless, perform for me on the Web... Eventually I met a [woman] from Florida who showed me everything and begged me to get a cam. I did, and soon found myself stripping for her. I looked for others who liked it too, and didn't have to look far."

For Don, "camming" usually means displaying himself masturbating, often with one or more women, and sometimes a man, as his audience. Often the camming is mutual, with Don and a woman, using her Web cam to display herself to Don, instant messaging dirty talk back and forth.



'Avenue of escape'
Now, Don tells me, he has about 120 regulars with whom he frequently chats and "cams." He has had virtual sex over the cam with many more people than that, and he does it most nights when he is on the road.

"The digital world," he says, "gives me an avenue of escape to secret desires where I can find fulfillment." He is able to satisfy " private hard-core lover hidden inside of me" that he can express online in anonymity.

That anonymity is important because Don, who tells me he is a conservative Republican Catholic and somewhat shy in real life, is married with children. His wife knows nothing about his online sex life.

"I am basically a moral person but flawed major league when it comes to sex," he says. "And yet there is this secret side to me that must be satisfied … I have always had a streak of exhibitionism in me and felt guilty about that."

He is torn. On the one hand, he worries there might be something wrong with him. On the other, he feels release when he's "camming."

"I think of [online exhibitionism] as pure erotic expression of human desire," he says. "We seek escape from our difficulties, from our routine or pressures, and this gives it to us."

So far, it's tough to say whether Don's form of escape will continue to grow, or if the novelty of digitally mediated exhibitionism will wear off. But it's clear that, for now at least, many Americans are thrilled by the prospect of being their own porn star.

Brian Alexander, a California-based freelance writer and MSNBC.com's Sexploration columnist, is traveling around the country to find out how Americans get sexual satisfaction. Alexander, also a Glamour contributing editor, is chronicling his work in the MSNBC.com special report "America Unzipped" and in an upcoming book for Harmony, an imprint of Crown Publishing.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

We have listed at least 4 predators at EOPC who are voyeurs and exhibitionists.

WARNING SOME ADULT CONTENT!! MUST BE 18 TO CLICK!
ONE, TWO , and THREE

Stalking & Googling Someone 40,000 Times = 16 Weeks in Jail

By Arthur Martin

An ‘obsessive’ TV producer who stalked a former classmate for more than seven years was jailed for just 16 weeks on Monday.

Elliot Fogel, 34, subjected Claire Waxman to an ‘unimaginable’ ordeal by following her, breaking into her car and making hundreds of late-night phone calls to her home.

A search of his computer revealed he had Googled his victim more than 40,000 times in one year. But despite a judge ruling that Fogel’s actions had caused ‘mental harm’ to his victim, a police source revealed that he could be free in as little as six weeks.

Mrs. Waxman, 34, a complementary therapist from North-West London, attacked the sentence as too short and called for tougher jail terms in stalking cases.

‘I will get a couple of months’ respite at best, but I am under no illusion that he will be out of jail soon and the harassment will start again,’ she said. ‘What we are looking at here is an obsessive person who is highly likely to reoffend.

'There is currently not an appropriate sentence for stalking. This obsession started 20 years ago and it’s not going to suddenly stop after a few weeks in jail.’

Wood Green Crown Court in North London heard how Fogel – a freelance producer at Sky Sports News and Capital Radio – first developed an unhealthy interest in Mrs Waxman while they were students at a college in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

She repeatedly told Fogel to leave her alone and, after leaving college in 1993, heard nothing more from him. However, ten years later, she received a dinner invitation from him, which she declined.

A few months later, in December 2003, Fogel, from Isleworth, West London, was spotted jogging on the spot outside her home and also began to spend increasing amounts of time hanging around her workplace.

Mrs Waxman told the court she felt ‘like a sitting duck’ as Fogel continued to follow her and make phone calls to her home.

After his arrest, a police search of his computer revealed he had also managed to get hold of Mrs Waxman’s wedding photographs and had a Google Earth aerial map of her home.

Further investigation found that he had paid for background searches to be carried out on Mrs Waxman’s husband Marc and her father, and that he had posed as a prospective parent at the nursery her daughter attended.

Jailing Fogel for 16 weeks after he admitted breaching a restraining order, Judge Fraser Morrison said:

‘Mrs Waxman wants some peace from you because you weren’t able to take the hint that any relationship you wanted with her was not going to take place.

‘You’re not an unintelligent man but you didn’t take the hint. She wants you out of her life.’

In a 16-page written impact statement to the court, Mrs Waxman described how she had suffered a miscarriage, developed an eating disorder, and had to move home five times as a result of her seven-year ordeal.

‘He has nothing in his life and all he chooses to do is pursue me and my family,’ she wrote. ‘Though there has been no physical harm, the mental harm of all these years is getting too heavy to bear.

‘My life has been ruined by this man in so many ways and yet no one can help us nor protect us.

'Instead of preventing something terrible from happening, I feel like we’re being left like sitting ducks waiting for something to happen.

‘He has said time and time again that he will leave me alone and yet never does. He still feels he is allowed to do what he wants because he has no moral compass.

‘He has no respect for me, my family, the law and I feel not even himself. Fogel is mentally unwell and has an obsession with me – he needs medical attention.’

Police have been unable to take tough action against Fogel because he has not made any physical threats to his victim. It means that officers have been able to use only anti-harassment laws to curb his campaign.

original article here

Stalking & Googling Someone 40,000 Times = 16 Weeks in Jail

By Arthur Martin

An ‘obsessive’ TV producer who stalked a former classmate for more than seven years was jailed for just 16 weeks on Monday.

Elliot Fogel, 34, subjected Claire Waxman to an ‘unimaginable’ ordeal by following her, breaking into her car and making hundreds of late-night phone calls to her home.

A search of his computer revealed he had Googled his victim more than 40,000 times in one year. But despite a judge ruling that Fogel’s actions had caused ‘mental harm’ to his victim, a police source revealed that he could be free in as little as six weeks.

Mrs. Waxman, 34, a complementary therapist from North-West London, attacked the sentence as too short and called for tougher jail terms in stalking cases.

‘I will get a couple of months’ respite at best, but I am under no illusion that he will be out of jail soon and the harassment will start again,’ she said. ‘What we are looking at here is an obsessive person who is highly likely to reoffend.

'There is currently not an appropriate sentence for stalking. This obsession started 20 years ago and it’s not going to suddenly stop after a few weeks in jail.’

Wood Green Crown Court in North London heard how Fogel – a freelance producer at Sky Sports News and Capital Radio – first developed an unhealthy interest in Mrs Waxman while they were students at a college in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

She repeatedly told Fogel to leave her alone and, after leaving college in 1993, heard nothing more from him. However, ten years later, she received a dinner invitation from him, which she declined.

A few months later, in December 2003, Fogel, from Isleworth, West London, was spotted jogging on the spot outside her home and also began to spend increasing amounts of time hanging around her workplace.

Mrs Waxman told the court she felt ‘like a sitting duck’ as Fogel continued to follow her and make phone calls to her home.

After his arrest, a police search of his computer revealed he had also managed to get hold of Mrs Waxman’s wedding photographs and had a Google Earth aerial map of her home.

Further investigation found that he had paid for background searches to be carried out on Mrs Waxman’s husband Marc and her father, and that he had posed as a prospective parent at the nursery her daughter attended.

Jailing Fogel for 16 weeks after he admitted breaching a restraining order, Judge Fraser Morrison said:

‘Mrs Waxman wants some peace from you because you weren’t able to take the hint that any relationship you wanted with her was not going to take place.

‘You’re not an unintelligent man but you didn’t take the hint. She wants you out of her life.’

In a 16-page written impact statement to the court, Mrs Waxman described how she had suffered a miscarriage, developed an eating disorder, and had to move home five times as a result of her seven-year ordeal.

‘He has nothing in his life and all he chooses to do is pursue me and my family,’ she wrote. ‘Though there has been no physical harm, the mental harm of all these years is getting too heavy to bear.

‘My life has been ruined by this man in so many ways and yet no one can help us nor protect us.

'Instead of preventing something terrible from happening, I feel like we’re being left like sitting ducks waiting for something to happen.

‘He has said time and time again that he will leave me alone and yet never does. He still feels he is allowed to do what he wants because he has no moral compass.

‘He has no respect for me, my family, the law and I feel not even himself. Fogel is mentally unwell and has an obsession with me – he needs medical attention.’

Police have been unable to take tough action against Fogel because he has not made any physical threats to his victim. It means that officers have been able to use only anti-harassment laws to curb his campaign.

original article here

Nathan E.B. Thomas, Jr. : Emails/ Love Bombs from a Cyberpath

Some email examples from Thomas to Victim #2. Full of double-speak, the verbal run around, love-bombing and more naseauting talk.

Remember: EOPC considers Cyberpathy an expression of Narcissism and/or Psychopathy

Readers, did your cyberpath send you similar stuff?

Our comments in Dark Blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
To: Victim #2
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 12:16 PM
Subject: What All I Feel

Hey Babes,

I have been sitting here thinking about you and us! It is frightening the love that I feel for you and it worries me to lose you as well. (afraid she's going to figure you out!) It is funny that I do not think about myself, but worry about you. I know you have taken care of yourself all of these years and you have made your way.

I am not one to take away the credit and give it where it is due as it takes a determined person to have done what you have done to date. (real meaning: She's vulnerable & I hope she stays that way!) I do not know how much time we will have in this world together, but whatever time it is, I know that there will be a life time of living packed into this time in space. It will be filled with happiness and we will have so many precious moments and it will carry us through all things. (wtf is he TALKING about? notice how twisted the verbiage is... like his brain... convoluted!)

I do not know what is planned in our lives as far as us together. I know that it is not normal that two pass at the same time, but people that are so in love as we are do not live long after their mate passes. (Darn right it's not normal - you are an already married predator with other women scattered all over the globe!)

I know you do not like to hear such talk as we will have long lives and they will be full, but one day and it will come where one of us will cross over before the other. (or unless Nathan does a disappearing act for another woman and then you get a "mysterious" email telling you he's "dead." We have seen cyberpaths pull that B.S. before, too)

I have been thinking and if then I would want it to be you before me as I know I would be shortly behind you. I would not want you to suffer as if you love me as much as I think you do, then you will feel so alone and be so hurt and haunted by my empty space. I think you would be so sad and this I could not take. (Because he thinks he's such a great guy - NOT!)

I know if I were left behind that I would be sad, but like a good soldier I would wait my time to join you. (and find many other women online to fill in that time, as he already has!)

I love you and it is not that I love you any less, but that I would rather it be me that suffers the loneliness and not you! Life does not always give us what we want. But, I had to say this as it was on my mind as I was thinking about you and me. (These guys have no clue what LOVE is - they just know it's a word that gets them what they want)

What do I see when I think of you? I see a woman that loves me for who I am inside and out and there is no doubt in my mind about her love for me. (You see someone who is buying the facade so far - but she had no idea at the time who you REALLY WERE!)

I see a woman that when I think about her she makes my soul sore and my spirit rise. (and fills me with glee because I am getting away with it! again)

I see a woman whose eyes light up when she sees me and I can tell her love through her looks and her touch. By the little things she does and says. I see a woman whose skin gets goose bumps when I touch her and when we make love I can feel the passion rise from her and I can tell that she is giving to me all of her body, mind, and soul, because it is there in her eyes, her touch, it can be felt even in the air. To hear you laugh is like music to me ears and to hear you talk soothes my very soul. (and all I really want out of women is free sex and for them to take care of me so I can have free vacations, variety and lots of sex!)

You are to me the complete woman. Each time we make love I do so with the knowledge that you are doing so out of love and that it is with the knowledge that each time could leave you pregnant with our child. (thank GOODNESS he didn't get her pregnant! And again - these guys don't make love - they masturbate using your body)

The narcissist very early on claims soul-mate-ship, ultimate love. Everything seems incredible and unbelievable - a dream come true. Free people might show each other affection but generally feel comfortable with themselves. They might enjoy the company of someone but will stay focused on their own interests. The victim is needy due to some abuse. The narcissist is not needy in terms of affection but admiration within the group where the narcissist keeps his or her spider-web. However, the narcissist gives this affection in order to draw the victim into this spider web. This is a difficult time for the narcissist because the narcissist cannot be intimate. Hence, intimacy is replaced by sex.

Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

So the greatest honor any woman can give to a man is when she knows and wants to give her man a child. It does not have to happen, but just the knowledge that you would want to is honor enough. (and you should talk to his first wife Marion, about how he "takes care" of the children he gave her. Because he DOESN'T.)

With you I am complete and there is no other calling on life other than to be the best husband that any woman could ever ask for. That each day you are overwhelmed by the love you are receiving from me both mentally and physically. (spare us, Thomas. How many women did you send crap this to?)

Love,
T
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date: Sat, 30 Jul 2005 23:22:14 -0400 (EDT)
From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
Subject: Re: To My Love
To: Victim #2

It means:
My dear of wife, I love you and I want to be with you forever! (what??)

Love, T

These characters are often described as "a tower of strength" by those who do not have to live with them. They make this observation when they see their apparent calmness and composure in family crisis.

The truth is, they are calm and composed, because even as the event and the tragedy unfold, there is no empathy or shouldering of the stress and the pain. They are not at all bothered by the suffering of those near. They feel nothing because again, they are never going to empathise/internalise.

In this calm unaffected condition, they remain aware of other issues that the caring family members have long since dropped sight of because of the crisis. They focus on these things vigorously because it takes them away from their own heart and the hearts of the family around them. They are able to attend to things mundane and to maintain a routine. They talk to doctors in an informed language. They put on a show for the nurses and visitors. It all looks caring and so well composed.

All the while the injured or seriously ill family member feels no emotional or spiritual support what so ever. Then when there is no one looking, the Narcissist will disappear or fall off their game, perhaps do something extremely dangerous and careless. In the quiet moment when there is a need to touch a heart and tower of Strength but there is no audience, things get weird. The admiring public never see this side.

~~~~~~~~~~

Date: Thu, 04 Aug 2005 09:59:20 -0400 (EDT)
From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
Subject: 9/27/2004 4:19:10 PM

Thank you so much for the photos. You have a very nice family.

Wen I saw your family photo at first glance you cannot tell where the mother is, one really has to look. Now, I know you say here we go he has started talking crap, but I mean it, I had to look a second time and then I saw the mature adult face there. (oh puhleeeze!)

Everyone is cute, but I can see where they got it from. There is something about your look as though I have known it for years. But anyway, I hope that we are able to keep in touch with one another. (same line he gives EVERY OTHER WOMAN!)

Me, I was working this weekend and then I had off and went into the mountains. I must admit that I did not do any training and was rather lazy, but the air was so good. I stayed in a cabin for one night where I had a real lazy time of it. No, I was not roughing it as there was a working toilet and a gas stove to heat water and cook on. Nice fire place. So I took a book with me and a days worth of food and went there and shut out all humanity. (where were you REALLY? Another woman? With the lastest best-selling spy novel to get some more ideas for your fake personna?)

OK, not quite as my laptop is a wireless and so I can communicate over my cell phone as well. (because he wasn't in a cabin. Probably at some other woman's house catching up on all his online dating profiles)

So, much for shutting out humanity you say? Well, I have to be reached in case there is something that I have to react to. (REACT to? WOW! Talk about a Freudian slip here!)

So, I took a nice walk and was caught in the rain. I got back to the cabin and first started a fire in the fireplace and then I stripped out of the wet clothing and curled up in a blanket next to the fire and watch it dance around the logs. After a bit I got up and cooked me some eggs fresh from the farmer, real smoked ham, bread and some real preserves made by the same farmer. Some good strong coffee and I was good. (fresh eggs from a farmer? What is this? 1937? ROFL!! This is really an outrageous lie!)

When I woke up, yeah terrible I fell asleep by the fire because I read maybe two pages it was dark out and the fire was out. So I lit the lamps and cooked again and opened a nice bottle of Italian red wine. I had spaghetti with smoked ham cut up on it, cheese, and garlic, with some garlic bread. (O.K. Too many WWII movies that weekend, huh? Was John Wayne or Audie Murphy in any of them?)

So, for one day nothing but being lazy and then early Monday morning back down the mountains to work. Yeah boring but I like boring sometimes. The only item missing was maybe a nice person to have a stimulating chat with about anything or just be crazy and giggle about silly stuff. (this man wouldn't know what roughing it is! He's far too lazy.)

It was nice coming on and seeing an email from you and even better that you sent some photos. (he got to fantasize to new photos!! woo-hoo!!)

By the way it looks as though all had a good time and that is nice.

Thinking of you! (and everyone else I might send this same, slightly edited for each woman - email to)

T
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date: Tue, 09 Aug 2005 10:26:20 -0400 (EDT)
From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
Subject: To My Sweet Darling Love, My Passionate Wife, My Everything!
To: Victim #2

Morning Babes! (for goodness sake, don't these guys ever use their victim's NAMES? or is it that hard keeping track?)

I do not know what time you will get up, but I imagine not until one of your kids wakes you up. I want you to know that I so enjoyed chatting with you and even though I am sorry for keeping you up, there is a selfish side of me that is not because my soul needed it. It is who we are as we feed each other's souls and our spirits are as one when we are together and also when we are apart, but the difference is when we are apart our spirits know that it is the physical of each other that is needed to satisfy our physical beings.

There are no others that can do what we are too each other and it would be a crime to even attempt to do such a thing and bring dishonor on the other, even if the other were not to know we would know ourselves. (word salad!)

They say sometimes the good things in life do not come easy. I would say that might be true as we have been missing each other for most of our lives. (but boy have I kept busy with her and her and her and her and her...)

Also, it has bothered me as there was something that you said this evening and then you broke off and maybe you were having second thoughts about it. (uh oh - did she get some inkling something's WRONG with you, Thomas?)

Babes you can talk to me. (because I need to keep profiling my victims so the more I know the better I can keep you roped in) Moments where you may not have been proud of yourself, or whatever, you can talk to me as I have told you so many times Rule #1 Never doubt my love for you! (because once you do, you will see I am a complete fraud)

You are my love and you have to not only know it, but feel it Babes! Hold not back your heart from me and what is on your mind. I need to know that you feel well to come to me and talk. Opinions and what happens are different things as anything that has happened to you in your past is what happened and to know these things also brings me closer to you Babes. (he needs to know what b.s. to keep telling you)

So, please do not hold back because you fear anything from my side. Trust that I will feel with you and love you! Trust in me that much Babes! (he needs more information!)

Yes, I know you trust me because if you did not you would not ever get in the car with me. I know you trust me as you have given your heart to me and you have shared many things with me. I know you trust me because you gave your body and soul to me and that means that I have to take care of this trust and to honor it. (but send me naked pics so I can post them on all the porn sites I visit!)

There is another form of sexual abuse. In fact, so I believe, it is the most common one, and hence it took me so long to get it. This form of abuse comes in four stages:

• Firstly, the victim will be forced to reveal her or his sexual preferences and experiences to the perpetrator.
• Secondly, the perpetrator will condition the victim to direct her or his entire sexuality towards the perpetrator. At this stage, the sexual relationship is intense.
• Thirdly, the perpetrator reduces the intensity of the sexual relationship dramatically, so that the victim is in constant sexual need.
• Fourthy, the perpetrator grants inproper sexual gratification in order to maintain the sexual need of the victim. Now, the victim, who is (sexually) dependent on the perpetrator, can be humiliated, manipulated and used.

• Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

There was nothing that can affect me that to know you are not happy or feel well. I mean, not to be dragging up old things, but the one time when we were really in a difference of opinion and I was upset, but never to the point where I do not want you and you thought that I was not wanting to be around you, and that was not so, I was not wanting you to feel the bad vibes of my being upset. (again... can this guy write a STRAIGHT SENTENCE. He's giving us a headache!)

Please do not get me wrong as I respected your opinion, but then when you came in and I seen you were hurt, that bothered me to no end and I always told you never did I want us to go to sleep upset with one another or to leave the house upset as well. We know not what life brings us when we are apart physically or in sleep, so that if we were never to see each other again, that the last things we remember is that we let the other know our love. (GAG!)

May God have mercy on my soul and allow me to love you as a man loves his wife. That we will have a long, happy, healthy, fruitful life together. For truly I have done some bad things in my life, that scare me sometimes on His allowing my happiness with you. (and he's going to do even worse, believe us)

No matter what though, that you never know sadness from me or because of me as I love you so much. (no, just lies, trauma, emotional rape, fraud, probably bigamy...)

I have to pull things together and it is a shame that money drives so much, but I do not want that we are needy of anything or anyone. I want that the days of our lives have a little comfort, but that we are happy! So, I have looked at making changes, and none that you have asked for as it is all on my own. I so love you and there are minutes, hours, days, and months that I count where we are not together physically that I say oh, what wasted time, but then I say this pain is good because there is someone to love and I know one day it will be for good and ever more! (where's the aspirin? and the sickness bag... these predators all sound the same. When you really look at these sentences they are simply erotic imbedded come ons that truly make no sense)

Love,
T
~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
To: Victim #2
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 9:03 AM
Subject: Looking Like a Civilian

Hey Babes!

Here is a photo from today! As you can see I was braving it that I would not get wet. This was just before I got wet this morning. There was a vehicle that was coming through and it was on this route. Traveling from Austria into Germany. So, do I look like a tourist? Well, all thought I was a tourist, so that is good!
(Because you ARE a civilian. You are retired Army - traveling around to get laid and put your feet up on the beds of other women you lure in with all that sweet email blah blah blah! )

Nathan E.B. Thomas, Jr. : Emails/ Love Bombs from a Cyberpath

Some email examples from Thomas to Victim #2. Full of double-speak, the verbal run around, love-bombing and more naseauting talk.

Remember: EOPC considers Cyberpathy an expression of Narcissism and/or Psychopathy

Readers, did your cyberpath send you similar stuff?

Our comments in Dark Blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
To: Victim #2
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 12:16 PM
Subject: What All I Feel

Hey Babes,

I have been sitting here thinking about you and us! It is frightening the love that I feel for you and it worries me to lose you as well. (afraid she's going to figure you out!) It is funny that I do not think about myself, but worry about you. I know you have taken care of yourself all of these years and you have made your way.

I am not one to take away the credit and give it where it is due as it takes a determined person to have done what you have done to date. (real meaning: She's vulnerable & I hope she stays that way!) I do not know how much time we will have in this world together, but whatever time it is, I know that there will be a life time of living packed into this time in space. It will be filled with happiness and we will have so many precious moments and it will carry us through all things. (wtf is he TALKING about? notice how twisted the verbiage is... like his brain... convoluted!)

I do not know what is planned in our lives as far as us together. I know that it is not normal that two pass at the same time, but people that are so in love as we are do not live long after their mate passes. (Darn right it's not normal - you are an already married predator with other women scattered all over the globe!)

I know you do not like to hear such talk as we will have long lives and they will be full, but one day and it will come where one of us will cross over before the other. (or unless Nathan does a disappearing act for another woman and then you get a "mysterious" email telling you he's "dead." We have seen cyberpaths pull that B.S. before, too)

I have been thinking and if then I would want it to be you before me as I know I would be shortly behind you. I would not want you to suffer as if you love me as much as I think you do, then you will feel so alone and be so hurt and haunted by my empty space. I think you would be so sad and this I could not take. (Because he thinks he's such a great guy - NOT!)

I know if I were left behind that I would be sad, but like a good soldier I would wait my time to join you. (and find many other women online to fill in that time, as he already has!)

I love you and it is not that I love you any less, but that I would rather it be me that suffers the loneliness and not you! Life does not always give us what we want. But, I had to say this as it was on my mind as I was thinking about you and me. (These guys have no clue what LOVE is - they just know it's a word that gets them what they want)

What do I see when I think of you? I see a woman that loves me for who I am inside and out and there is no doubt in my mind about her love for me. (You see someone who is buying the facade so far - but she had no idea at the time who you REALLY WERE!)

I see a woman that when I think about her she makes my soul sore and my spirit rise. (and fills me with glee because I am getting away with it! again)

I see a woman whose eyes light up when she sees me and I can tell her love through her looks and her touch. By the little things she does and says. I see a woman whose skin gets goose bumps when I touch her and when we make love I can feel the passion rise from her and I can tell that she is giving to me all of her body, mind, and soul, because it is there in her eyes, her touch, it can be felt even in the air. To hear you laugh is like music to me ears and to hear you talk soothes my very soul. (and all I really want out of women is free sex and for them to take care of me so I can have free vacations, variety and lots of sex!)

You are to me the complete woman. Each time we make love I do so with the knowledge that you are doing so out of love and that it is with the knowledge that each time could leave you pregnant with our child. (thank GOODNESS he didn't get her pregnant! And again - these guys don't make love - they masturbate using your body)

The narcissist very early on claims soul-mate-ship, ultimate love. Everything seems incredible and unbelievable - a dream come true. Free people might show each other affection but generally feel comfortable with themselves. They might enjoy the company of someone but will stay focused on their own interests. The victim is needy due to some abuse. The narcissist is not needy in terms of affection but admiration within the group where the narcissist keeps his or her spider-web. However, the narcissist gives this affection in order to draw the victim into this spider web. This is a difficult time for the narcissist because the narcissist cannot be intimate. Hence, intimacy is replaced by sex.

Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

So the greatest honor any woman can give to a man is when she knows and wants to give her man a child. It does not have to happen, but just the knowledge that you would want to is honor enough. (and you should talk to his first wife Marion, about how he "takes care" of the children he gave her. Because he DOESN'T.)

With you I am complete and there is no other calling on life other than to be the best husband that any woman could ever ask for. That each day you are overwhelmed by the love you are receiving from me both mentally and physically. (spare us, Thomas. How many women did you send crap this to?)

Love,
T
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date: Sat, 30 Jul 2005 23:22:14 -0400 (EDT)
From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
Subject: Re: To My Love
To: Victim #2

It means:
My dear of wife, I love you and I want to be with you forever! (what??)

Love, T

These characters are often described as "a tower of strength" by those who do not have to live with them. They make this observation when they see their apparent calmness and composure in family crisis.

The truth is, they are calm and composed, because even as the event and the tragedy unfold, there is no empathy or shouldering of the stress and the pain. They are not at all bothered by the suffering of those near. They feel nothing because again, they are never going to empathise/internalise.

In this calm unaffected condition, they remain aware of other issues that the caring family members have long since dropped sight of because of the crisis. They focus on these things vigorously because it takes them away from their own heart and the hearts of the family around them. They are able to attend to things mundane and to maintain a routine. They talk to doctors in an informed language. They put on a show for the nurses and visitors. It all looks caring and so well composed.

All the while the injured or seriously ill family member feels no emotional or spiritual support what so ever. Then when there is no one looking, the Narcissist will disappear or fall off their game, perhaps do something extremely dangerous and careless. In the quiet moment when there is a need to touch a heart and tower of Strength but there is no audience, things get weird. The admiring public never see this side.

~~~~~~~~~~

Date: Thu, 04 Aug 2005 09:59:20 -0400 (EDT)
From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
Subject: 9/27/2004 4:19:10 PM

Thank you so much for the photos. You have a very nice family.

Wen I saw your family photo at first glance you cannot tell where the mother is, one really has to look. Now, I know you say here we go he has started talking crap, but I mean it, I had to look a second time and then I saw the mature adult face there. (oh puhleeeze!)

Everyone is cute, but I can see where they got it from. There is something about your look as though I have known it for years. But anyway, I hope that we are able to keep in touch with one another. (same line he gives EVERY OTHER WOMAN!)

Me, I was working this weekend and then I had off and went into the mountains. I must admit that I did not do any training and was rather lazy, but the air was so good. I stayed in a cabin for one night where I had a real lazy time of it. No, I was not roughing it as there was a working toilet and a gas stove to heat water and cook on. Nice fire place. So I took a book with me and a days worth of food and went there and shut out all humanity. (where were you REALLY? Another woman? With the lastest best-selling spy novel to get some more ideas for your fake personna?)

OK, not quite as my laptop is a wireless and so I can communicate over my cell phone as well. (because he wasn't in a cabin. Probably at some other woman's house catching up on all his online dating profiles)

So, much for shutting out humanity you say? Well, I have to be reached in case there is something that I have to react to. (REACT to? WOW! Talk about a Freudian slip here!)

So, I took a nice walk and was caught in the rain. I got back to the cabin and first started a fire in the fireplace and then I stripped out of the wet clothing and curled up in a blanket next to the fire and watch it dance around the logs. After a bit I got up and cooked me some eggs fresh from the farmer, real smoked ham, bread and some real preserves made by the same farmer. Some good strong coffee and I was good. (fresh eggs from a farmer? What is this? 1937? ROFL!! This is really an outrageous lie!)

When I woke up, yeah terrible I fell asleep by the fire because I read maybe two pages it was dark out and the fire was out. So I lit the lamps and cooked again and opened a nice bottle of Italian red wine. I had spaghetti with smoked ham cut up on it, cheese, and garlic, with some garlic bread. (O.K. Too many WWII movies that weekend, huh? Was John Wayne or Audie Murphy in any of them?)

So, for one day nothing but being lazy and then early Monday morning back down the mountains to work. Yeah boring but I like boring sometimes. The only item missing was maybe a nice person to have a stimulating chat with about anything or just be crazy and giggle about silly stuff. (this man wouldn't know what roughing it is! He's far too lazy.)

It was nice coming on and seeing an email from you and even better that you sent some photos. (he got to fantasize to new photos!! woo-hoo!!)

By the way it looks as though all had a good time and that is nice.

Thinking of you! (and everyone else I might send this same, slightly edited for each woman - email to)

T
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date: Tue, 09 Aug 2005 10:26:20 -0400 (EDT)
From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
Subject: To My Sweet Darling Love, My Passionate Wife, My Everything!
To: Victim #2

Morning Babes! (for goodness sake, don't these guys ever use their victim's NAMES? or is it that hard keeping track?)

I do not know what time you will get up, but I imagine not until one of your kids wakes you up. I want you to know that I so enjoyed chatting with you and even though I am sorry for keeping you up, there is a selfish side of me that is not because my soul needed it. It is who we are as we feed each other's souls and our spirits are as one when we are together and also when we are apart, but the difference is when we are apart our spirits know that it is the physical of each other that is needed to satisfy our physical beings.

There are no others that can do what we are too each other and it would be a crime to even attempt to do such a thing and bring dishonor on the other, even if the other were not to know we would know ourselves. (word salad!)

They say sometimes the good things in life do not come easy. I would say that might be true as we have been missing each other for most of our lives. (but boy have I kept busy with her and her and her and her and her...)

Also, it has bothered me as there was something that you said this evening and then you broke off and maybe you were having second thoughts about it. (uh oh - did she get some inkling something's WRONG with you, Thomas?)

Babes you can talk to me. (because I need to keep profiling my victims so the more I know the better I can keep you roped in) Moments where you may not have been proud of yourself, or whatever, you can talk to me as I have told you so many times Rule #1 Never doubt my love for you! (because once you do, you will see I am a complete fraud)

You are my love and you have to not only know it, but feel it Babes! Hold not back your heart from me and what is on your mind. I need to know that you feel well to come to me and talk. Opinions and what happens are different things as anything that has happened to you in your past is what happened and to know these things also brings me closer to you Babes. (he needs to know what b.s. to keep telling you)

So, please do not hold back because you fear anything from my side. Trust that I will feel with you and love you! Trust in me that much Babes! (he needs more information!)

Yes, I know you trust me because if you did not you would not ever get in the car with me. I know you trust me as you have given your heart to me and you have shared many things with me. I know you trust me because you gave your body and soul to me and that means that I have to take care of this trust and to honor it. (but send me naked pics so I can post them on all the porn sites I visit!)

There is another form of sexual abuse. In fact, so I believe, it is the most common one, and hence it took me so long to get it. This form of abuse comes in four stages:

• Firstly, the victim will be forced to reveal her or his sexual preferences and experiences to the perpetrator.
• Secondly, the perpetrator will condition the victim to direct her or his entire sexuality towards the perpetrator. At this stage, the sexual relationship is intense.
• Thirdly, the perpetrator reduces the intensity of the sexual relationship dramatically, so that the victim is in constant sexual need.
• Fourthy, the perpetrator grants inproper sexual gratification in order to maintain the sexual need of the victim. Now, the victim, who is (sexually) dependent on the perpetrator, can be humiliated, manipulated and used.

• Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

There was nothing that can affect me that to know you are not happy or feel well. I mean, not to be dragging up old things, but the one time when we were really in a difference of opinion and I was upset, but never to the point where I do not want you and you thought that I was not wanting to be around you, and that was not so, I was not wanting you to feel the bad vibes of my being upset. (again... can this guy write a STRAIGHT SENTENCE. He's giving us a headache!)

Please do not get me wrong as I respected your opinion, but then when you came in and I seen you were hurt, that bothered me to no end and I always told you never did I want us to go to sleep upset with one another or to leave the house upset as well. We know not what life brings us when we are apart physically or in sleep, so that if we were never to see each other again, that the last things we remember is that we let the other know our love. (GAG!)

May God have mercy on my soul and allow me to love you as a man loves his wife. That we will have a long, happy, healthy, fruitful life together. For truly I have done some bad things in my life, that scare me sometimes on His allowing my happiness with you. (and he's going to do even worse, believe us)

No matter what though, that you never know sadness from me or because of me as I love you so much. (no, just lies, trauma, emotional rape, fraud, probably bigamy...)

I have to pull things together and it is a shame that money drives so much, but I do not want that we are needy of anything or anyone. I want that the days of our lives have a little comfort, but that we are happy! So, I have looked at making changes, and none that you have asked for as it is all on my own. I so love you and there are minutes, hours, days, and months that I count where we are not together physically that I say oh, what wasted time, but then I say this pain is good because there is someone to love and I know one day it will be for good and ever more! (where's the aspirin? and the sickness bag... these predators all sound the same. When you really look at these sentences they are simply erotic imbedded come ons that truly make no sense)

Love,
T
~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: GrizzlyBear90604@aol.com
To: Victim #2
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 9:03 AM
Subject: Looking Like a Civilian

Hey Babes!

Here is a photo from today! As you can see I was braving it that I would not get wet. This was just before I got wet this morning. There was a vehicle that was coming through and it was on this route. Traveling from Austria into Germany. So, do I look like a tourist? Well, all thought I was a tourist, so that is good!
(Because you ARE a civilian. You are retired Army - traveling around to get laid and put your feet up on the beds of other women you lure in with all that sweet email blah blah blah! )