"SEDUCING WOMEN ONLINE"

(most of the first part of this post is a joke - poking fun at sites that instruct men (and women) how to seduce people online. However - many a truth is said in jest - and we felt it instructional for our readers. And enjoy a little tongue-in-cheek levity! - EOPC)

I was surfing the World Wide Web, and I came across some websites charging guys for advice on how to seduce women online. I thought this was not right. I probably know more about the subject then they do, so I decided to write an article on it. Also, just like a fat drugged stripper I am giving it up for free.

What should a guy do after he gets a woman's e-mail address?
I like to send my online ladies anonymous emails advertising new and improved drugs for STDs, and wait and see if they respond. You can never be too safe. There is one thing you should learn about women. They love constant attention. Since you are talking to her online you should probably give her double the attention. That means a constant stream of emails. Probably 5 or 6 a day. Each day increase your tone of urgency, and decrease the accuracy of your spelling and grammar. This lets her know you are a passionate person, and women love passion. Remember you want to be the only thing on her mind so flood that mailbox. (this sounds horrifically like every cyberpath we've profiled so far!)

What should I say in my first message to her?
It is always good to start with some sort of joke. Usually one belittling a minority ethnic group will work.

Once you have broken the ice with the joke, make the message as personal as possible. Women love guys that open up. I suggest just opening up the dam right away, and letting loose with all your personal baggage. Let her know your insecurities, and freakiest desires. Tell her how often you masturbate. If you have had homoerotic fantasies, now is the time to let her know. She will be very impressed with your openness and immediately recognize the connection you just made with her.

Do not bother asking her about the minor details of her life. Instead, dive right into its most personal aspects. Ask her if she was molested as a child. To show her you care about her, question her mental health. Ask her if she has any suicidal thoughts or tendencies. After a deep message like this, your bond with her should be rock solid.

What if she doesn't respond to him?
Ahh she enjoys the chase huh. The old cat and mouse game. If she does not respond, she obviously requires more overt displays of affection and passion. Write her professing your undying love and commitment to her. Tell her you cannot live with out her. Tell her your passion is so great that her not responding to you makes you want to do her harm. Women love that. It lets them know that you care, and that you are a man of action. (funny yes - but threats of harm can land you in jail!)

What if she threatens to call the police?
Oh, she is a feisty little minx. Do not be deterred by Johnny Law. All women believe that love will conquer all, and this is just a test to see if you have the drive to land her. Tell her that no law either god's or man's can keep you from her. Tell her that you relish every obstacle in the way, because it only deepens your desire and love for her. Beg her to get a restraining order, because that will show you that you mean something to her. (Unfortunately, for an online sociopath - this last line is often true)

What should a guy do when she asks to see a picture?
Women do not expect you to give them an actual picture of yourself. Just search the Internet for a picture of some male model and send her that. Don't worry about her getting the wrong idea. Women just want to see how resourceful you are.

What if she isn't attractive in her picture?
Relax bud. It is pretty well established rule that women are much, much better looking in person than they are in their Internet pictures. If she looks a little ogreish and chunky in the picture. Just assume that it is bad lighting and she is much thinner now. Trust me.

What do I do once I get her phone number?
Verify that it is legitimate. Do this by calling and hanging up a few times. (LOL - but also a good way to get arrested)

When you call her for real, let her know that you cannot believe she actually gave you her number. This shows that you are appreciative. Make sure she knows that you like her in a sexual way. Tell her, her voice sounds sexy. Ask what she is wearing. Question the state of moisture in her panties. Also, inquire as to whether or not she is touching herself at the present point in time. These are the signals she needs to assure her that you do in fact want to stuff her box.

What should a guy do if a woman he is talking to online is nervous about meeting him in person?
Mmmm a timid temptress. Seducing her should be a pleasure.

First, do not play along with her timid games. Urgently suggest that you meet as soon as possible. Let her know that if you wait any longer to meet her you are liable to go crazy, and can not possibly be held accountable for your actions. (This sounds a lot like Jeff Dunetz with his 'can't control' nonsense)

To put her more at ease tell her you have "a big surprise waiting for her". Women love surprises.

Some women might be nervous because they are scared to go out in public. To be safe assure her that you are taking her some place private, and dark.

What should a guy do once she agrees to meet him?
Heyyy-Ohhh! If a girl you meet online has agreed to meet you that means she is ready for you to f*ck her. She is probably very comfortable with you and totally into you. What you need to do is just close the deal. Tell her you are going to take her to dinner or a party.
When you pick her up do not really say anything to her or look at her for that matter. This makes you seem mysterious, and will heighten her erotic desires. Drive to a deserted location. Whip out your **** and say, "dinner is served" or "here is the party *****". Women love spontaneous men, and since she is already so into you, she should be all over your ****. Score!

FROM THIS SITE

Here's a real seduction site - this part is NOT a joke and a scary site that! CLICK HERE
(this part is NOT a joke - it is very real. Did your predator do this to you?)

LOVE BOMBING - A favorite technique of Cyberpaths
The term "Love Bombing" originated with the Moonies to describe a step in their process of conversion. Cyberpaths use it to coerce and brainwash their targets and promote thought reform so the targets/ prey will do what they want WITHOUT QUESTION. Targets are overwhelmed with attention which makes them feel special, loved, and an important part of the new "online relationship."

Aspects of this technique include, but are not limited to flattery, verbal seduction, affectionate, as it goes along - cybersex or sexual conversion and lots of attention. (Singer, p 114)

Geri-Ann Galanti, a cult researcher, experienced love bombing. Regarding a very personal compliment she received, she stated, "Even though I knew it was a manipulative technique, I wanted to believe she meant it, and I decided that she really did. After all, it matched my own perception of myself." Recovery from Cults, p 98.

Love-bombing instills trust. It is impossible to think of the new person as harmful, because are so friendly & seemingly honest (its all a game to them). They seem so supportive and nice; how can this be wrong?

Love-bombing can produce a physical, mental & emotional "high." Prey/ targets can come to feel dependent on this feeling and the safety net of talking to the cyberpath. It also makes them feel loyal and dedicated, as they now may feel they owe the cyberpath some attention or even money & goods in return. Targets often mistake this for "being IN LOVE" and the Cyberpath only encourages & cements this perception.

Cyberpaths frequently use all kinds of "friendshipping"techniques to find new and retain targets/ prey. This includes befriending, coercing and sometimes love bombing the initial target's friends (see the stories of Jeff Dunetz/ Gridney/ Yidwithlid or Dan Jacoby!). Sometimes this friendship is sincere, but more often than not, it is superficial. Sometimes the cyberpath does this to isolate the friends from each other so they can never put the "full story" together. (They tell each friend that the other is "obsessed with" them or "stalking" them & demand secrecy) They are not really interested in someone as a person who they would honestly like to get to know -- they are interested in them as a potential target!

When the Cyberpath gets bored, or something happens to make the target "inconvenient" for them (spouses/ family members find out) or the target gets wise to them, love is withdrawn. This is the opposite of love bombing, a total withdrawal of love and support as a punishment for going against the Cyberpath's wishes or simply the Cyberpath being bored. This is NEVER the target's fault though the Cyberpath will try to make them believe that it is!

Furthermore, love bombing helps silence complaints and criticism, long after the initial predation. The target will feel 'responsible' and the cyberpath will say the target 'did it too' or is 'just as guilty' - often the target believes it and feels tremendous shame and guilt. Be assured this is TOTALLY the doing & fault of the cyberpath - no one else.

Here's a great discussion on LOVE BOMBING - something Cyberpaths do!

The Pick-Up Artist

Readers - this type of guy can work his game ONLINE probably even EASIER than off. Here's proof that these predators THINK OF THEIR PREY AS OBJECTS and are non-cureable. BEWARE!


BY Alex Molotkow

In the summer of 2004, a newly single professional in his early forties wanted to sleep with as many women as possible. Sex being above all other considerations — time, money, shame — he took on the persona “Dimitri the Lover” and drafted a general sexual proposition for any “attractive, intelligent woman” who happened to read it. He printed a few thousand posters and hired a postering company. Together they placed them all over the city, from family-oriented neighbourhoods like the Beaches (where mothers’ groups ripped them down en masse) to York University campus (which alerted the police).

“I got dozens of responses. Dozens. And f**ked maybe 20 women, something like that. Not a lot,” Dimitri tells me. Of course, most people who saw the poster thought it was a joke. I did, until Dimitri hit on me in Starbucks two years later. I was taken aback, mostly because of the way he looked: tall and broad-shouldered, with dark, gelled-back hair. A stranger on the street might nickname him “Dimitri the Lover” as a joke.

Dimitri can spit out romantic hyperbole like a seasoned Don Juan, but his rants are reminiscent of Screw magazine’s Al Goldstein. His speeches, however eloquent, often spin off their axes and turn into wildly offensive tirades. He says he means no harm, though this might not be obvious to those who read his posters. Lately, he’s been posting ads for a community called Toronto Real Men. In early March, a notice for a meeting (“905 Keeps Your C**k Alive”) at Rancho Relaxo offended one person so much that they alerted the Toronto Women’s Bookstore. The store called the venue, which cancelled the event post-haste. “It just seemed like a joke when I saw it — I was shocked by it, but I didn’t think it was this serious thing,” says Rose Kazi, a Toronto Women’s Bookstore employee. “

That’s part of the reason why I went to Rancho — this might be a joke, but just so you know as a business, your name is on it.” On his website, www.dimitrithelover.com, Dimitri referred to the complainants as “bitter, moustached, man-hating, femi-nazi c*nts from socially regressive, evolutionarily non-sequitur organizations.”

With Toronto Real Men, Dimitri has joined the “seduction community,” the vast network of dating gurus and “pickup artists” (PUAs) popularized by Neil Strauss’ 2005 book, The Game. According to Frank B. Kermit of www.franktalks.com, a Toronto-based seduction guru who specializes in relationship management, the movement began in the early ’90s, as a newsgroup dedicated to the convoluted techniques taught by Ross Jeffries (Tom Cruise’s character in Magnolia is said to be based on him). Some of the men immersed in the seduction lifestyle seem to be engaged in a real-life role-playing game, where PUAs like “Swinggcat,” “Mehow” and “Juggler” vie for experience points. Others are just lonely with little confidence.

“Most of these people are just guys looking for some guidance where their parents or society in general couldn’t give it to them,” says Miso G., proprietor of www.naturalseducers.com, a company that offers weekend training programs for men at $1,200 to $1,500 a pop, and a moderator at Toronto Phoenix Society, an online forum for men. “[Guys] would never ask for advice on topics like these as freely as girls would.”

As with any self-help movement, there are plenty of hacks eager to capitalize on the downtrodden. There are also community organizations where nobody pays a thing.

“Think of it as alcoholics anonymous,” says Kermit, who has run “lairs” — free forums for men — in Toronto and elsewhere. Seduction groups have existed in Toronto for several years, but the movement remained obscure until Strauss’ book. Kermit’s Toronto Lair formed to absorb members from another group, the Toronto Social Network, which split in two (the other half being Toronto Phoenix Society) due to questionable leadership practices, including charging for mandatory seminars. Dimitri charges for Toronto Real Men, though he emphasizes that he doesn’t need the money. “They don’t get something for nothing,” he told me. “$250 a year, you’re a member. One meeting a month. I’m going to be offering courses to men on how to get f**ked, fast.”

Dimitri was born in Toronto in the early 1960s. He had a rough upbringing:

“My father was very physically and emotionally abusive. My mother was just a borderline manic, histrionic, dramatic woman, and I did not grow up really understanding what love was.” A nerdy overachiever in high school, he didn’t lose his virginity until he was 20. He became a physician, but lost his licence after pleading guilty to charges of sexual impropriety during house calls. His lawyers pressured him into the decision, he says. “I asked [one patient] out on a date, and we chatted a bit, I said give me a call sometime, gave her a goodbye hug. That was it.”

Two more women came forward with similar stories after reading about him in the newspaper, he continues, and one recalled that he had “spent too much time in the bathroom.”

“At the time, I was married. And my wife was sexually dysfunctional, I had not had sex with her in a year and a half. It was a very tough time, I was very horned up. And I was busy, between that and working, so for me it was easy to hit on chicks that were patients.”

In the aftermath, Dimitri says, he lost everything he owned and spent half a year on welfare. His sex drive remained intact, however, and without money for dates he became more direct with women. He credits the experience for ridding him of all regard for social norms. It also embittered him against what he considers to be feminist alarmism.

“[Toronto Real Men is] a rebellion against society, and what they’ve turned men into. I should never have gotten in trouble for what happened. I should have maybe gotten a slap on the wrist… [Toronto Real Men is] a rebellion against feminism, and really feminism is what’s created a lot of this. Sexual harassment in the workplace — it’s so overblown.”

The personal coaching courses he now offers, including “Women Worship You” and “Worship the C**k,” are intended to help men assert their masculinity.

Dimitri claims to live by principles, though it’s difficult to distinguish them amid his inflammatory digressions. He’s honest about his intentions, and he speaks earnestly when not caught up in showmanship. Whatever he does with women, he insists that he always does it consensually. The many conquests he claims certainly make him a desirable seduction guru: he says he’s slept with 400 to 500 women, a modest figure given his compulsion for hitting on every halfway attractive woman he sees. When I went “cruising” with him around the St. Lawrence area, I watched him pick up several pretty girls with rapid efficiency. I also saw him weather several cold rejections, which he attributed alternately to ethnicity, “Paul Bernardo Syndrome” and confusion. He had a remarkable knack for determining who would be receptive to him. When they weren’t, he assumed they had been abused by another man. “If a woman doesn’t trust me, usually she’s a nut job,” he once told me.

Some feel as though Dimitri goes too far, online and elsewhere. “I do not associate with Dimitri the Lover,” Kermit says. “I had no idea the guy was as misogynistic as he is. [He’s] very charming and very entertaining… [but] I will not endorse people who promote the idea of violence, even as a joke.”


For a feminist, it’s difficult to respond to somebody whose MO is feminist-baiting. “If you want to have a party with straight men talking about how to get girls, you know, that’s fucked up, but I’m not going to stop you,” says Kazi of Toronto Women’s Bookstore. “But [Dimitri’s ad] was just disturbing. I don’t know — maybe he should just change his marketing angle.” Kazi and Alex MacFadyen, another bookstore employee, laugh it off. “We’re very sex-positive, so that’s not the problem,” MacFadyen comments.

“I encourage him to come in! And, you know, get a book,” says Kazi.

What would they recommend?

“What about C**t?” Kazi suggests.

MacFadyen howls. “The Ethical Slut!”

ORIGINAL


MORE:
Pick Up Artists or F**ked up Men?

The "Seduction" Community

A Whole Online Group for How-To

CAPTIVE HEARTS, CAPTIVE MINDS

Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Other Abusive Relationships
by Madeleine Landau Tobias, Janja Lalich, Michael Langone

From Library Journal:
"Tobias and Lalich spent a combined total of 24 years in "restrictive groups" (i.e., cults), and both are currently involved in providing post-cult counseling and therapy. Their first collaboration, this book succeeds as an ambitious, comprehensive explanation of the cult experience and works well on several levels. Its stated focal intent is to encourage and assist those former cultists struggling to readjust to the "real world." Powered by the authors' experience, compassion, and intellect, it capably provides such support. In addition, however, Tobias and Lalich's systematic analysis of the shared characteristics of cults and cult leaders, along with extensive first-person accounts by former cultists, will educate those readers with a purely intellectual interest in the allure, power, and structure of cults."

**Good for targets of cyberpaths**

Composite Profile of a Cyberpath

Definition: The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body, mind, heart and soul. This includes all ages (children or adults). Adults who prey on other adults are called CYBERPATHS.

Characteristics of a Predator:
1. Liar: (Self explanatory) His lies may sound very convincing or contain kernels of truth.

2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.

3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.

4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.

5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another or his stories aren't consistent over time.

6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.

7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate, poke fun at or disrespect others.

8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends though he may tell you differently. He will make sure you don't have to meet any of these "friends" either.

9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.

10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities. (blocking you online for days or weeks at a time with no real reason why or being online and not chatting with you)

11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.

12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and vulnerability and filling those voids in their lives seemingly completely.

13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.

14. Lacking in Self Control: At times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline, a predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. Impulsive.

It may be that the only place the predator seems to have 'honor and value' -- is in the false "Relationship" he is developing with his victim.

CAUTION

When developing a new relationship, make a conscious effort to listen to your partner's stories about their interaction with others, not just how he interacts with you. The predator may well reveal his true self through these interactions. But, you may only see this revelation if your are committed to taking every precaution for your own safety.

THEIR ACTIONS NOT THEIR WORDS TELL YOU EVERYTHING.

Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them:

Phrases:
1. Do not tell ____________ about us, me.

2. (_______) is crazy! (or psycho, sick, a liar, a stalker, harassing me or out to get me) [use caution, the person saying this could be stalked BY a cyberpath... this statement alone does not make them a liar]

3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to _________.

4. I do not need to defend myself against lies. You know I am not like that.

5. They are just jealous (of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me).

6. I have never done this before. I am not that sort of person.

7. I wouldn't lie to you. I would never hurt you.


Actions:
1. Sometimes operates from innocuous web areas or chat rooms. (parents chats, music chats, classmates chats, pen pal sites, shared interest email lists or bulletin boards)

2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable or gives you vague information about themselves.

3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned. Or says they're tired and gets offline.

4. Questions your sincerity when questioned.

5. He will usually discourage or forbid personal information checks. (DON'T LET THIS STOP YOU!! THIS IS A MAJOR RED FLAG - If they tell you "you don't trust me" then run their name and nickname(s) through search engines ASAP! And READ EVERY HIT!!)

6. He will usually discourage, schedule for certain times only or forbid the use of his home, work or cell phone number by you. Ask you not to IM him first in case he's busy (usually not alone or chatting with another victim)

7. He's badmouthing his current partner, wife, girlfriend or significant other ("they don't understand me, not enough love/ sex/ attention, etc.")

8. He starts to show lack of concern for what concerns you and/or a change in his behavior and how he talks to you after a few weeks or months. (Changes from caring about you to self-absorbed concerns)

9. You have a serious personal or job problem (sometimes because of chatting with him) and he stops chatting with you for weeks or months at a time telling you its "for your own good" or he's "trying to protect you." (The only person he really cares about protecting is himself)

10. Either refuses to or hesitates to see you for coffee in public place or wants to see you right away. Be very careful if you are in a different country than the person you are chatting with and they offer to pay your way over to "be with them."

"YOU CAN'T FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE NEVER MET AND SPENT SIGNIFICANT TIME WITH, IN PERSON.... and NOT SEXUAL TIME!

Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that, even if you think JUST ONE, anyone should pay attention to:

1. You feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more than one person about them.
3. Your instincts are whispering "something is not right about this person/what they are saying".

Summary:
The final best defense against an Online Predator is your own common sense and judgment. Be careful not to read into things that simply aren't there.

Always remember that they count on desires, needs, and the heat of the moment that combine to drown that judgment.

Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a potential partner with common sense and not with neediness.

(We have used the male gender - online predators can be female as well)

CLICK HERE for a GREAT EXAMPLE!