IN REVIEW: Lori Drew and Special Mention to Lissa Daly

Closing out 2007 wouldn't be complete without giving mention to Lori Drew.

Though EOPC concentrates on adult-on-adult online predation; Lori Drew wins our PATHOLOGICAL OF THE YEAR (a new category just for her!) Yes, Lori - you are one of the sickest cyberpaths of all the ones we've seen. And we thought we'd seen it all!

Lori apparently, won't be charged. The law in Missouri has dug in its heels and refuses to say another word about this case.

Good going Lori!!

• You pushed a minor to suicide with your online predation on MySpace.
• You evev involved your teenage daughter & an employee of yours. What a role model!
  
• Like all cyberpaths now you're upset that you have been exposed and your life is supposedly ruined. Boo hoo.
• You told this dead girl's grieving parents to "give it a rest."
• You got the law to give you a free pass.
• And the media has even let you get away with changing your story AND helped you call people like us a "cybermob" and "internet vigilantes."

All Things you can be very very proud of Mrs. Drew.
EOPC hasn't and won't forget!... We never forget!

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE FEEDS AND LINKS ON THIS STORY

And our last honorable mention goes to Lissa Daly.
Lissa, a cyberpath whose tangled tales and multiple identities messed up more lives than lights on a Christmas Tree, attempted an apology.

A lame one - CLICK HERE.

EOPC does give Lissa credit. For at least trying to stay in touch with and dialogue with her victims - allowing them to vent and discuss. But she loses ground with us when she seems to only see HER pain and not ask about or investigate the pain of others caused by her.

For a little more insight into this type of pathological predator - CLICK HERE.

Have a safe New Year!

IN REVIEW: Lori Drew and Special Mention to Lissa Daly

Closing out 2007 wouldn't be complete without giving mention to Lori Drew.

Though EOPC concentrates on adult-on-adult online predation; Lori Drew wins our PATHOLOGICAL OF THE YEAR (a new category just for her!) Yes, Lori - you are one of the sickest cyberpaths of all the ones we've seen. And we thought we'd seen it all!

Lori apparently, won't be charged. The law in Missouri has dug in its heels and refuses to say another word about this case.

Good going Lori!!

• You pushed a minor to suicide with your online predation on MySpace.
• You evev involved your teenage daughter & an employee of yours. What a role model!
  
• Like all cyberpaths now you're upset that you have been exposed and your life is supposedly ruined. Boo hoo.
• You told this dead girl's grieving parents to "give it a rest."
• You got the law to give you a free pass.
• And the media has even let you get away with changing your story AND helped you call people like us a "cybermob" and "internet vigilantes."

All Things you can be very very proud of Mrs. Drew.
EOPC hasn't and won't forget!... We never forget!

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE FEEDS AND LINKS ON THIS STORY

And our last honorable mention goes to Lissa Daly.
Lissa, a cyberpath whose tangled tales and multiple identities messed up more lives than lights on a Christmas Tree, attempted an apology.

A lame one - CLICK HERE.

EOPC does give Lissa credit. For at least trying to stay in touch with and dialogue with her victims - allowing them to vent and discuss. But she loses ground with us when she seems to only see HER pain and not ask about or investigate the pain of others caused by her.

For a little more insight into this type of pathological predator - CLICK HERE.

Have a safe New Year!

CALL FOR INFORMATION: NATHAN ERNEST BURL THOMAS, JR. - ON THE RUN!

(as 2007 draws to a close our next few posts will be about some highlights from this year and our 'close encounters' with cyberpaths. Mr. Thomas, below, has not been caught as other victims seem to be believing & protecting him. If you know his whereabouts - contact us as law enforcement is looking for him)

POSSIBLE BIGAMIST/ CON MAN ON THE RUN!!
A CALL FOR INFORMATION!

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr.
Male, African-American
Age : 53
Occupation : Retired Military (he may tell you he's CIA or Special Ops) and now does sales for a company called Ecoquest
Where he might be : Germany or Illinois or Texas USA or British Columbia or Quebec Canada
Business Website (WITH HIS PICTURE!) CLICK HERE
Work # : ( 210 ) 380 - 1684

Some of his online nicknames:
Grizzlybear90604
Suntzu7734
Bear
DZSO
T_bear1952

Some of his possible email addresses: He has been cleaning his online activities and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate to one of his “wives” and other targets:
Jandt4ever1960@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com
suntzu7734@aol.com
t_bear1952@hotmail.com

Nathan Thomas, former Chief of Housing at the 6th ASG in Germany, is one of the biggest psychos and a criminal WHO MAY HAVE COMMITTED BIGAMY

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr, aka Nathan E B Thomas Jr., date of birth 03-DEC-1952, born in Arkansas, uses the online dating sites, pen pal sites, etc. to find vulnerable women!

His MODUS OPERANDI is always the same:
He tells his targets he is a widower from a Puerto Rican woman called Felicia, who passed away of cancer some years ago - (we sell fake Kleenex for all those who have cried hearing this fake story) – and he will fake a strong sadness for this imaginary woman.

After some time, probably after meeting the target, he loves bomb his “woman target” and starts a torrid relationship. He flies to the “victim's” country or pays for his victims to fly to meet him as well. It’s a perfect romance copied from the best love story out there.

He acts like a gentleman, fakes ethics & religiousness, helps old ladies on the street, loves children, gives money to beggars!!!

You will NEVER see his "house" - he will always stay in a hotel with you.

As if that weren’t enough, Nathan Thomas also implies he is a CIA operative, and Special Ops. He will say he is a paratrooper who trains "his men" for missions to Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. This is completely false. The CIA has never heard of him.
Spends a lot of money, used to drive a BMW 850 while in Germany and always stays at Hotel suites.

He offers women expensive gifts, generally gives laptops (KEYLOGGED!!! so he can track your every move!).

This LIAR, CHEATER and SEX ADDICT, GOT MARRIED to a woman in Canada, WHILE BEING STILL MARRIED to Mrs. Georgine Thomas with whom he supposedly lives, in Texas.

There’s also a STRONG CHANCE THERE’S ANOTHER WIFE, called Marion, living in Germany, with whom he has two kids – Alina and Nathan.

He has other adult children, one of them Cindy who may be living in Texas and at least two grandsons in Germany.

This man's imagination is better than a Tom Clancy political thriller - but also PURE FICTION. He calls himself THE BLACK RIDER in his stories and he fantasizes about being a hero by cutting & pasting news stories about Al Queda to unsuspecting targets. He justifies his long absences by saying he's on "CIA special operations", or he is "deployed in Iraq." To some targets, he also says he is in Afhganistan.

The truth is that he goes from one wife/family or girlfriend to another. Georgine thinks he goes away on business for his company when he goes to stay with another wife. When he goes back to Georgine, the other wife thinks he is back in Iraq, and so on… or on a "secret mission"...

He takes explicit photos and makes porn videos with his targets, as well as asking some of his wives/ girlfriends to take sexual pictures & videos - saying they are personal, just for him (LOL) - that are probably sold by him to porn websites.

There are reasons to believe his brothers may be his accomplices, and also someone in Germany – he communicates with at least one woman named Isabel in Europe. What their relationship is, is anyone's guess.

He appears to be a SERIAL CON MAN WITH WIVES, GIRLFRIENDS AND POSSIBLE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES IN MANY COUNTRIES.

It’s also likely he has already been deported from some country in Europe while he was active military.

He has a company “Thomas Special Services, LLC” at:
591417 Encino Park
San Antonio, TX 78259,
which appears to be a cover of possible his criminal activity.
He also does business with Ecoquest International.

Nathan Thomas IS NOT A CIA operative. He is just a retired military and was the Chief of Housing in the 6th ASG during 2002/2004 and also dealt with private rentals in Southern Gemany. He current given address is San Antonio, TEXAS! (see above)

If anyone has any information about this man, PLEASE COME FORWARD and help stop his predatory and criminal activities.

Thomas is aware that people are on to him and has been frantically cleaning his online activities, erasing things and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate with his “wives” and other targets. These may not work:
Jandt4ever1960@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com
suntzu7734@aol.com

He uses several nicknames like The Black Rider, Grizzlybear, Suntzu, DSZO, Bear, "T" or T_Bear (they may have slight variations as well)

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION WRITE TO US and it will be passed along to law enforcement.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON.

CALL FOR INFORMATION: NATHAN ERNEST BURL THOMAS, JR. - ON THE RUN!

(as 2007 draws to a close our next few posts will be about some highlights from this year and our 'close encounters' with cyberpaths. Mr. Thomas, below, has not been caught as other victims seem to be believing & protecting him. If you know his whereabouts - contact us as law enforcement is looking for him)

POSSIBLE BIGAMIST/ CON MAN ON THE RUN!!
A CALL FOR INFORMATION!

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr.
Male, African-American
Age : 53
Occupation : Retired Military (he may tell you he's CIA or Special Ops) and now does sales for a company called Ecoquest
Where he might be : Germany or Illinois or Texas USA or British Columbia or Quebec Canada
Business Website (WITH HIS PICTURE!) CLICK HERE
Work # : ( 210 ) 380 - 1684

Some of his online nicknames:
Grizzlybear90604
Suntzu7734
Bear
DZSO
T_bear1952

Some of his possible email addresses: He has been cleaning his online activities and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate to one of his “wives” and other targets:
Jandt4ever1960@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com
suntzu7734@aol.com
t_bear1952@hotmail.com

Nathan Thomas, former Chief of Housing at the 6th ASG in Germany, is one of the biggest psychos and a criminal WHO MAY HAVE COMMITTED BIGAMY

Nathan Ernest Burl Thomas Jr, aka Nathan E B Thomas Jr., date of birth 03-DEC-1952, born in Arkansas, uses the online dating sites, pen pal sites, etc. to find vulnerable women!

His MODUS OPERANDI is always the same:
He tells his targets he is a widower from a Puerto Rican woman called Felicia, who passed away of cancer some years ago - (we sell fake Kleenex for all those who have cried hearing this fake story) – and he will fake a strong sadness for this imaginary woman.

After some time, probably after meeting the target, he loves bomb his “woman target” and starts a torrid relationship. He flies to the “victim's” country or pays for his victims to fly to meet him as well. It’s a perfect romance copied from the best love story out there.

He acts like a gentleman, fakes ethics & religiousness, helps old ladies on the street, loves children, gives money to beggars!!!

You will NEVER see his "house" - he will always stay in a hotel with you.

As if that weren’t enough, Nathan Thomas also implies he is a CIA operative, and Special Ops. He will say he is a paratrooper who trains "his men" for missions to Afghanistan, Iraq, etc. This is completely false. The CIA has never heard of him.
Spends a lot of money, used to drive a BMW 850 while in Germany and always stays at Hotel suites.

He offers women expensive gifts, generally gives laptops (KEYLOGGED!!! so he can track your every move!).

This LIAR, CHEATER and SEX ADDICT, GOT MARRIED to a woman in Canada, WHILE BEING STILL MARRIED to Mrs. Georgine Thomas with whom he supposedly lives, in Texas.

There’s also a STRONG CHANCE THERE’S ANOTHER WIFE, called Marion, living in Germany, with whom he has two kids – Alina and Nathan.

He has other adult children, one of them Cindy who may be living in Texas and at least two grandsons in Germany.

This man's imagination is better than a Tom Clancy political thriller - but also PURE FICTION. He calls himself THE BLACK RIDER in his stories and he fantasizes about being a hero by cutting & pasting news stories about Al Queda to unsuspecting targets. He justifies his long absences by saying he's on "CIA special operations", or he is "deployed in Iraq." To some targets, he also says he is in Afhganistan.

The truth is that he goes from one wife/family or girlfriend to another. Georgine thinks he goes away on business for his company when he goes to stay with another wife. When he goes back to Georgine, the other wife thinks he is back in Iraq, and so on… or on a "secret mission"...

He takes explicit photos and makes porn videos with his targets, as well as asking some of his wives/ girlfriends to take sexual pictures & videos - saying they are personal, just for him (LOL) - that are probably sold by him to porn websites.

There are reasons to believe his brothers may be his accomplices, and also someone in Germany – he communicates with at least one woman named Isabel in Europe. What their relationship is, is anyone's guess.

He appears to be a SERIAL CON MAN WITH WIVES, GIRLFRIENDS AND POSSIBLE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES IN MANY COUNTRIES.

It’s also likely he has already been deported from some country in Europe while he was active military.

He has a company “Thomas Special Services, LLC” at:
591417 Encino Park
San Antonio, TX 78259,
which appears to be a cover of possible his criminal activity.
He also does business with Ecoquest International.

Nathan Thomas IS NOT A CIA operative. He is just a retired military and was the Chief of Housing in the 6th ASG during 2002/2004 and also dealt with private rentals in Southern Gemany. He current given address is San Antonio, TEXAS! (see above)

If anyone has any information about this man, PLEASE COME FORWARD and help stop his predatory and criminal activities.

Thomas is aware that people are on to him and has been frantically cleaning his online activities, erasing things and has already closed some email addresses he used to communicate with his “wives” and other targets. These may not work:
Jandt4ever1960@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@aol.com
grizzlybear90604@yahoo.com
suntzu7734@aol.com

He uses several nicknames like The Black Rider, Grizzlybear, Suntzu, DSZO, Bear, "T" or T_Bear (they may have slight variations as well)

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION WRITE TO US and it will be passed along to law enforcement.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON.

WIFE MURDERED OVER ONLINE AFFAIR

Jealous kebab shop owner jailed for life for murdering wife

A jealous a kebab shop manager, who stabbed his young wife 10 times after he caught her having a "cyber relationship" with another man, was jailed for life.

Kemal Dogan, 36, was ordered to serve a minimum of 12 years after being found guilty of murder by an Old Bailey jury.

The relationship with wife Aygul was already frayed because the 23-year-old had been taunting him over his infertility in front of friends and family.

Dogan caught her baring her flesh on a webcam to her internet lover in Turkey. She was chatting to the man she referred to as "my love" at an internet cafe in Stoke Newington, north London, in December 2005.

She begged her husband for forgiveness and he took her home where the couple entertained visitors. 20 minutes after the friends left, Aygul was dead.

Judge Peter Beaumont told Dogan he accepted there had been a "degree of provocation" although not amounting to a defence in law.

He also accepted a submission by William Clegg QC, that Dogan, an ethnic Kurd, had been suffering from a "mental disorder" after his experiences in his home country of Turkey. The court heard he had suffered torture.

Mr Clegg also told the court that Dogan had shown remorse and twice tried to take his own life while in custody.

The judge told Dogan: "This was not a pre-meditated killing. It does have all the hallmarks of a sudden loss of control. That said, you took the life of your wife in circumstances of very considerable violence."

Mr Clegg told jurors Dogan had been provoked after being "belittled" over his infertility and "deeply wounded" by the internet affair.

But prosecutor Brian O'Neill said: "This is a clear case of murder by a jealous and angry husband as a result of his wife's perceived infidelity."

The court heard that the couple married in their native Turkey in 1997 but had no children, apparently as a result of Dogan's infertility.

Mr O'Neill said that in the weeks leading up to the killing this had become a "strain" on their relationship.

He added: "In addition to that - and perhaps more significantly - there is evidence that the deceased woman was involved in a cyber relationship over the internet with another man in Turkey.

"The defendant became aware of this on the night that he killed his wife and that factor seems to have been the direct cause of the fatal stabbing."

SOURCE

WIFE MURDERED OVER ONLINE AFFAIR

Jealous kebab shop owner jailed for life for murdering wife

A jealous a kebab shop manager, who stabbed his young wife 10 times after he caught her having a "cyber relationship" with another man, was jailed for life.

Kemal Dogan, 36, was ordered to serve a minimum of 12 years after being found guilty of murder by an Old Bailey jury.

The relationship with wife Aygul was already frayed because the 23-year-old had been taunting him over his infertility in front of friends and family.

Dogan caught her baring her flesh on a webcam to her internet lover in Turkey. She was chatting to the man she referred to as "my love" at an internet cafe in Stoke Newington, north London, in December 2005.

She begged her husband for forgiveness and he took her home where the couple entertained visitors. 20 minutes after the friends left, Aygul was dead.

Judge Peter Beaumont told Dogan he accepted there had been a "degree of provocation" although not amounting to a defence in law.

He also accepted a submission by William Clegg QC, that Dogan, an ethnic Kurd, had been suffering from a "mental disorder" after his experiences in his home country of Turkey. The court heard he had suffered torture.

Mr Clegg also told the court that Dogan had shown remorse and twice tried to take his own life while in custody.

The judge told Dogan: "This was not a pre-meditated killing. It does have all the hallmarks of a sudden loss of control. That said, you took the life of your wife in circumstances of very considerable violence."

Mr Clegg told jurors Dogan had been provoked after being "belittled" over his infertility and "deeply wounded" by the internet affair.

But prosecutor Brian O'Neill said: "This is a clear case of murder by a jealous and angry husband as a result of his wife's perceived infidelity."

The court heard that the couple married in their native Turkey in 1997 but had no children, apparently as a result of Dogan's infertility.

Mr O'Neill said that in the weeks leading up to the killing this had become a "strain" on their relationship.

He added: "In addition to that - and perhaps more significantly - there is evidence that the deceased woman was involved in a cyber relationship over the internet with another man in Turkey.

"The defendant became aware of this on the night that he killed his wife and that factor seems to have been the direct cause of the fatal stabbing."

SOURCE

IP GLOBAL POSITIONING - Find Them!

Is that person you were talking to online playing hide & seek with you? Are you getting the feeling they are not giving you accurate information about where they live and or who they are?

Death by 1000 Papercuts posted a neat little tool that anyone can use to pop in someone's IP number and find out approximately where they are:



Warning Cyberpaths: You can't hide forever!

IP GLOBAL POSITIONING - Find Them!

Is that person you were talking to online playing hide & seek with you? Are you getting the feeling they are not giving you accurate information about where they live and or who they are?

Death by 1000 Papercuts posted a neat little tool that anyone can use to pop in someone's IP number and find out approximately where they are:



Warning Cyberpaths: You can't hide forever!

BULLYPROOF FOR LIFE

Mondoreb at Death By 1000 Papercuts was kind and generous enough to include some of our questions in this interview.

While Dr. Haber writes about bullyproofing your children, we really hope our adult victims and readers can take away some information on how to keep themselves bullyproofed from cyberpaths & predators. Especially the threats after you catch them or figure them out. - Fighter
Whereas years ago, kids would write their anonymous gossip on bathroom walls, now they’ve found a way to send their nastiness to a much wider audience.

The newest and potentially most dangerous form of bulling, “cyberbullying,” is growing so fast, it is proving difficult for researchers and therapists to keep up.

A new study just reported that cyberbullying among teens and preteens has increased by 50% in the last 5 years.

--Dr. Joel Haber, "The Bully Coach" on Cyber Bullies
* * *
DBKP Talks to Dr. Joel Haber about how to protect your kids from Bullies, Cyber Bullies and His New Book, "BullyProof Your Child For Life".

The DBKP Interview Room

Today we talk to nationally-known "Bully Coach", Dr. Joel Haber, about his new book, "Bullyproof Your Child for Life". Our guests today include TherapyDoc from "Everyone Needs Therapy" and Fighter from "Cyberpaths", along with Little Baby Ginn and Mondoreb from Death by 1000 Papercuts.

Mondoreb: Hi Dr. Haber! Welcome to The DBKP Interview Room.

Dr. Joel Haber: Hello everybody. Thanks for giving me this opportunity.

Mondoreb: Okay, Joel, let's get to it. If you had one thing to tell a parent about protecting their kids from bullies, what would it be?

Joel Haber: Bully Prevention can be summed up with one factor that remains pretty constant: The way a child responds to bullying events will determine whether those events repeat or escalate.

A child who can laugh it off, walk away, and feel good about him- or herself anyway is not likely to become a long-term target.

On the other hand, the likelihood of further attacks increases the more emotional the child becomes in reaction to the bullying.

Mondoreb: So Mom's advice to "just ignore them them" wasn't bad?

Dr. Haber: A child who gets angry, cries, pouts, whines, or runs to a teacher is probably going to be harassed time and again.

TherapyDoc: Have you ever heard of the story, " The Boy with the Funny Laugh"?

Dr. Joel Haber: It’s a really good story to get us to think about our behavior and reflect on what our role is in the bullying dynamic. I like it a lot.

Little Baby Ginn: Is passive aggressive bullying harder to deal with than overt bullying?

Joel Haber: Absolutely, because passive aggressive bullying is “indirect” which makes it more difficult to see, hear, or handle. Indirect bullying involves things like gossiping behind people’s backs, eye rolls, or exclusion which may not be easy to see.

Mondoreb: Earlier, before the interview, you outlined a few helpful tips for parents to keep their kids safe on-line from cyber bullies. Would you mind repeating a few of those.again, please?

Joel Haber: First of all, parents need to learn some of the shorthand that their kids are using. POS [parent over shoulder] (a good beginning so parents can speak the lingo).

1-Remind kids that the Internet is not face to face, and you never know who you are speaking to, so watch what you say (once you press the send key, you can’t take it back).
2-Tell kids to treat others like you would your favorite grandmother and watch what they say if it may hurt others. Being mean, or threatening to others online may be a crime, so you need to be very careful, and parents need to teach their kids how to be responsible online.
3-Encourage your kids to let you know if they ever get threatened online, so the parent can report the abuse to a governing agency.

Fighter: Our site deals with adult on adult predation (and of course bullying once the prey gets a little too suspicious or exposes them...) Is there anything from your book, any advice, that would be helpful to someone who's being bullied because they became suspicious of someone's on-line behavior?

Joel Haber: Try to document all the evidence you have, and see if you can get support for your ideas. Documentation keeps the behavior very objective and avoids a shouting match!

See if you can get others to join you- when you’re with others who support you, there is less likelihood to be bullied and it helps you keep perspective even if the bullying gets emotional.
TherapyDoc: Has it ever back-fired, telling a patient (or child) to be assertive with a bully; meaning, did your advice ever get a person beat up?

Joel Haber: Being assertive can put you in danger, so I don’t always suggest that. I suggest that we know our kids, and teach them skills to make them less targetable. Sometimes that involves assertion, and sometimes it involves showing less emotion.

Ginn: Any tips on how do you handle a passive-aggressive bully?

Joel Haber: When you see passive-aggressive behavior, call them out on it, and ask if you did anything to make them mad? If not, ask them why they are behaving that way.

Mondoreb: How long have you been working on the book? Did it take you awhile to do it?

Joel Haber: I have worked for years on this book. I feel proud of it and think this will be the last resource parents will need to help their children to manage bullying issues.

FIGHTER: What model of home/ upbringing would a bully come from? Narcissistic or sociopathic parent? Other?

Joel Haber: Bullies actually come from families with what we call an authoritarian style- one parent who always wins, gets his/her way, and the other parent who also loses conflicts. In these homes, kids observe that bullying and aggression win!

Or, the kids get scared off from the bullying and they side with the losing parent: creating kids who are afraid of conflict and become targets. So- a sociopathic parent can create a bullying kid, but the power imbalance at home creates the problems for kids either as bullies or victims.

Mondoreb: Is there anybody that is hopeless? I mean, do you think your book or the techniques described in it--and which you've had years of experience with--would help everyone? Or are there a few people out there who are not bully proof?

Joel Haber: Nobody is really hopeless - because all kids can learn something to help them become Bullyproof. Some special needs kids, though, may have problems learning lots of strategies, but one good one may be enough. If a kid can’t learn, then the adults or peers around them need to learn how to step up and help out the kid who is lacking in skills.

Mondoreb: Okay, that's about all the time we have. Thanks to TherapyDoc and Fighter for joining Little Baby Ginn and myself to talk to "The Bully Coach", Dr. Joel Haber, about how to keep kids safe. It's all in his new book, "BullyProof Your Child For Life".

Thanks Dr. Haber.

Joel Haber: My pleasure, I enjoyed it.

CLICK HERE FOR DR. HABER'S WEBSITE

HUGE THANKS & KUDOS TO DBKP!

BULLYPROOF FOR LIFE

Mondoreb at Death By 1000 Papercuts was kind and generous enough to include some of our questions in this interview.

While Dr. Haber writes about bullyproofing your children, we really hope our adult victims and readers can take away some information on how to keep themselves bullyproofed from cyberpaths & predators. Especially the threats after you catch them or figure them out. - Fighter
Whereas years ago, kids would write their anonymous gossip on bathroom walls, now they’ve found a way to send their nastiness to a much wider audience.

The newest and potentially most dangerous form of bulling, “cyberbullying,” is growing so fast, it is proving difficult for researchers and therapists to keep up.

A new study just reported that cyberbullying among teens and preteens has increased by 50% in the last 5 years.

--Dr. Joel Haber, "The Bully Coach" on Cyber Bullies
* * *
DBKP Talks to Dr. Joel Haber about how to protect your kids from Bullies, Cyber Bullies and His New Book, "BullyProof Your Child For Life".

The DBKP Interview Room

Today we talk to nationally-known "Bully Coach", Dr. Joel Haber, about his new book, "Bullyproof Your Child for Life". Our guests today include TherapyDoc from "Everyone Needs Therapy" and Fighter from "Cyberpaths", along with Little Baby Ginn and Mondoreb from Death by 1000 Papercuts.

Mondoreb: Hi Dr. Haber! Welcome to The DBKP Interview Room.

Dr. Joel Haber: Hello everybody. Thanks for giving me this opportunity.

Mondoreb: Okay, Joel, let's get to it. If you had one thing to tell a parent about protecting their kids from bullies, what would it be?

Joel Haber: Bully Prevention can be summed up with one factor that remains pretty constant: The way a child responds to bullying events will determine whether those events repeat or escalate.

A child who can laugh it off, walk away, and feel good about him- or herself anyway is not likely to become a long-term target.

On the other hand, the likelihood of further attacks increases the more emotional the child becomes in reaction to the bullying.

Mondoreb: So Mom's advice to "just ignore them them" wasn't bad?

Dr. Haber: A child who gets angry, cries, pouts, whines, or runs to a teacher is probably going to be harassed time and again.

TherapyDoc: Have you ever heard of the story, " The Boy with the Funny Laugh"?

Dr. Joel Haber: It’s a really good story to get us to think about our behavior and reflect on what our role is in the bullying dynamic. I like it a lot.

Little Baby Ginn: Is passive aggressive bullying harder to deal with than overt bullying?

Joel Haber: Absolutely, because passive aggressive bullying is “indirect” which makes it more difficult to see, hear, or handle. Indirect bullying involves things like gossiping behind people’s backs, eye rolls, or exclusion which may not be easy to see.

Mondoreb: Earlier, before the interview, you outlined a few helpful tips for parents to keep their kids safe on-line from cyber bullies. Would you mind repeating a few of those.again, please?

Joel Haber: First of all, parents need to learn some of the shorthand that their kids are using. POS [parent over shoulder] (a good beginning so parents can speak the lingo).

1-Remind kids that the Internet is not face to face, and you never know who you are speaking to, so watch what you say (once you press the send key, you can’t take it back).
2-Tell kids to treat others like you would your favorite grandmother and watch what they say if it may hurt others. Being mean, or threatening to others online may be a crime, so you need to be very careful, and parents need to teach their kids how to be responsible online.
3-Encourage your kids to let you know if they ever get threatened online, so the parent can report the abuse to a governing agency.

Fighter: Our site deals with adult on adult predation (and of course bullying once the prey gets a little too suspicious or exposes them...) Is there anything from your book, any advice, that would be helpful to someone who's being bullied because they became suspicious of someone's on-line behavior?

Joel Haber: Try to document all the evidence you have, and see if you can get support for your ideas. Documentation keeps the behavior very objective and avoids a shouting match!

See if you can get others to join you- when you’re with others who support you, there is less likelihood to be bullied and it helps you keep perspective even if the bullying gets emotional.
TherapyDoc: Has it ever back-fired, telling a patient (or child) to be assertive with a bully; meaning, did your advice ever get a person beat up?

Joel Haber: Being assertive can put you in danger, so I don’t always suggest that. I suggest that we know our kids, and teach them skills to make them less targetable. Sometimes that involves assertion, and sometimes it involves showing less emotion.

Ginn: Any tips on how do you handle a passive-aggressive bully?

Joel Haber: When you see passive-aggressive behavior, call them out on it, and ask if you did anything to make them mad? If not, ask them why they are behaving that way.

Mondoreb: How long have you been working on the book? Did it take you awhile to do it?

Joel Haber: I have worked for years on this book. I feel proud of it and think this will be the last resource parents will need to help their children to manage bullying issues.

FIGHTER: What model of home/ upbringing would a bully come from? Narcissistic or sociopathic parent? Other?

Joel Haber: Bullies actually come from families with what we call an authoritarian style- one parent who always wins, gets his/her way, and the other parent who also loses conflicts. In these homes, kids observe that bullying and aggression win!

Or, the kids get scared off from the bullying and they side with the losing parent: creating kids who are afraid of conflict and become targets. So- a sociopathic parent can create a bullying kid, but the power imbalance at home creates the problems for kids either as bullies or victims.

Mondoreb: Is there anybody that is hopeless? I mean, do you think your book or the techniques described in it--and which you've had years of experience with--would help everyone? Or are there a few people out there who are not bully proof?

Joel Haber: Nobody is really hopeless - because all kids can learn something to help them become Bullyproof. Some special needs kids, though, may have problems learning lots of strategies, but one good one may be enough. If a kid can’t learn, then the adults or peers around them need to learn how to step up and help out the kid who is lacking in skills.

Mondoreb: Okay, that's about all the time we have. Thanks to TherapyDoc and Fighter for joining Little Baby Ginn and myself to talk to "The Bully Coach", Dr. Joel Haber, about how to keep kids safe. It's all in his new book, "BullyProof Your Child For Life".

Thanks Dr. Haber.

Joel Haber: My pleasure, I enjoyed it.

CLICK HERE FOR DR. HABER'S WEBSITE

HUGE THANKS & KUDOS TO DBKP!

Lori Drew - Happy Now vs. Megan Meier - Still Deceased

The law refuses to press charges against Lori Drew. Still.

EOPC knows our adult victims receive the same lack of responsiveness from law enforcement about this. Victims who read the article below will see a lot of how their predator/ cyberpath got to them.

Lori is quite happy about this, according to her lawyer.

Megan Meier is still quite dead because of her.

Need we say more? - Fighter


"Of course she's happy! She just got away with MURDER!" - anonymous
When the Bullies Turned Faceless
By CHRISTOPHER MAAG

LIKE most mobs, the one that pursued Megan Meier was cruel and unrelenting. Its members gathered on the social networking site MySpace and called Megan a liar, a fat whore and worse.

Megan, 13, fought back, insulting her tormenters with every profanity she knew. But the mob shouted her down, overwhelming her computer and her shaky self-confidence with a barrage of hateful instant messages.

“Mom, they’re being horrible!” Megan said, sobbing into the phone when her mother called. After an hour, Megan ran into her bedroom and hanged herself with a belt.

“She felt there was no way out,” Ms. Meier said.

Megan Meier’s suicide made headlines because she was the victim of a hoax. Lori Drew, another mother in the neighborhood, said in a police report that she had created a MySpace profile of a boy, an invention named “Josh Evans,” and that she and her daughter had manipulated Megan into thinking that this fabricated person liked her.

Then, after a few weeks, Ms. Meier said, girls posing as Josh wrote MySpace messages telling Megan that he hated her. He insulted her, and other girls — most unaware that Josh did not exist — viciously piled on. (Later, through her lawyer, Ms. Drew, 48, denied knowing about the hoax.)

In some ways, the hoax was a tragic oddity. Most mothers don’t pull vicious pranks, and few harassed adolescents become depressed and commit suicide. But Megan’s story is also a case study about cyberbullying.

Cellphone cameras and text messages, as well as social networking Web sites, e-mail and instant messaging, all give teenagers a wider range of ways to play tricks on one another, to tease and to intimidate their peers.
And unlike traditional bullying, which usually is an intimate, if highly unpleasant, experience, high-tech bullying can happen anywhere, anytime, among lots of different children who may never actually meet in person. It is inescapable and often anonymous, said sociologists and educators who have studied cyberbullying. (can happen to ADULTS who have another adult predator prey on their vulnerabilities too!)

Even in this town, where Megan’s name is a constant reminder of the danger of the Web, adolescents say they love using the technology — and some do a little bullying of their own.

“I’m sure that every girl at this table has used cellphones or instant messaging to say something mean about somebody,” said Victoria Fogarty, as she discussed bullying with six other adolescents. Victoria, 14, is the daughter of Pam Fogarty, the mayor of Dardenne Prairie, and an eighth grader at West Middle School, which Megan attended.

Other children are afraid of becoming the next victim.

“Once you’re on MySpace, you’re trapped,” said Jake Dobson, 12, a seventh grader at West Middle School. “You spend all your time online just trying to keep the negative stuff about you from spreading.”

Megan Meier spent months begging for a MySpace page before her mother finally gave in. Ms. Meier thought that making friends online could be good for her daughter, a sensitive girl who craved an emotional connection.

But that neediness made Megan vulnerable. By the third grade Megan hated herself and talked of suicide, Ms. Meier said. The diagnosis was depression and attention deficit disorder, which meant Megan would receive weekly counseling and an evolving list of medications as treatment.

By the time she reached seventh grade at West Middle School, Megan was overweight but active, Ms. Meier said. She hung out with other volleyball players, who were in the second tier of popular girls, just beneath the soccer players, said Laura Rodgers, 14, Megan’s friend.

She aped the styles of those above her, Ms. Meier said. She favored clothes like Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch. Sometimes she applied so much mascara that she resembled a raccoon. Occasionally she would gleefully accept a soccer girl’s invitation to sit at the popular table during lunch, Laura said.

These moments of success faded during gym class, when Megan had to trade her plus-size designer clothes for athletic shorts and T-shirts. “People in P.E. class called her fat every day,” Laura said. “I’d see her in the locker room crying.”

After a difficult year, Megan’s parents transferred their daughter to Immaculate Conception Catholic School in Dardenne Prairie. The school had strict policies aimed at avoiding cliques. Students wear uniforms, and they are assigned lunch tables so they can socialize with everybody.

“There aren’t really cliques there at all,” said Rachel Garzon, 14, who befriended Megan. “You might be closer friends with some people, but you can walk up and talk to anybody and they’ll be nice to you.”

Megan, who had escaped the old cliques, retained her old MySpace page. “She technically wasn’t old enough, because you have to be 14,” Ms. Meier said. “But I was the only one who knew the password. I read every message she received or sent. I thought I could keep it safe, and Megan could meet some friends.”

MySpace uses algorithms and people to strike harassing or bullying images and content, the company said in a written statement, and the site offers users opportunities to report cyberbullies.

But controlling the Web can be almost impossible, experts on children say, and most adolescents are simply not mature enough to handle the virtual world and its anonymous attacks. For instance, “Adolescents take what is said online as the literal truth,” said Justin Patchin, assistant professor of criminal justice at the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire, who studies cyberbullying.

And, as in the Megan Meier case, the victim of cyberbullying is often isolated, yet never free from attack. “The target sees this entire cyberuniverse where everybody is against them, and no one will come to their defense,” said Dr. Walter Roberts, professor of counselor education at Minnesota State University, Mankato. “The harassment is not limited to the portion of the day when the kids are in school. The targeted kids have no escape.”

Three years ago, before Megan’s suicide, the school system identified cyberbullying as a serious problem, said Kim Carter, assistant superintendent for student services in the Fort Zumwalt School District.

In 2005, the school surveyed students and teachers. And before and after Megan’s death, the district held a variety of assemblies, meetings and workshops to train students, parents, faculty and administrators how to recognize and react to cyberbullying.

While all the vigilance has helped, students say, cyberbullying remains common. Last month, a girl won $500 in a class raffle. Before her teacher even opened the door to excuse everyone, the rest of the school was abuzz with rumors that she had cheated, said Sarah Fogarty, another of the mayor’s children.

How was that possible? Cellphones are supposed to be turned off in school. Girls practice text messaging with their eyes closed, Sarah said. They’ve become adept at pressing buttons under their desks while keeping their focus on the teacher.

“I’m not good at it yet,” Sarah said.

This fall an unpopular boy started break dancing at a football game. People took cellphone photos and videos, which they immediately forwarded to hundreds of people. “They were egging him on because they wanted to keep making fun of him, and the photos made him look ridiculous,” said Jake Dobson, the seventh grader.

Even popular kids feel vulnerable.

Ryan Franklin, 12, was a star player on his Little League baseball team until he needed stomach surgery last summer, said his mother, Sonya Franklin. As he recovered, a friend sent e-mail messages to dozens of students falsely stating that Ryan had made sexual comments about a girl in class, Ms. Franklin said.

“The truth was that he’d stopped playing baseball and so he’d lost some of his status,” Ms. Franklin said. “Some people started picking on him because he was an easier target.” The e-mail messages stopped only when she threatened to call the boy’s mother.

Jake Dobson admits he’s not above an instant message making fun of someone, even if he knows that the same thing could happen to him.

“It’s like I can’t even do anything because everybody is sitting there with a cellphone just waiting for me to mess up,” he said.

Lori Drew - Happy Now vs. Megan Meier - Still Deceased

The law refuses to press charges against Lori Drew. Still.

EOPC knows our adult victims receive the same lack of responsiveness from law enforcement about this. Victims who read the article below will see a lot of how their predator/ cyberpath got to them.

Lori is quite happy about this, according to her lawyer.

Megan Meier is still quite dead because of her.

Need we say more? - Fighter


"Of course she's happy! She just got away with MURDER!" - anonymous
When the Bullies Turned Faceless
By CHRISTOPHER MAAG

LIKE most mobs, the one that pursued Megan Meier was cruel and unrelenting. Its members gathered on the social networking site MySpace and called Megan a liar, a fat whore and worse.

Megan, 13, fought back, insulting her tormenters with every profanity she knew. But the mob shouted her down, overwhelming her computer and her shaky self-confidence with a barrage of hateful instant messages.

“Mom, they’re being horrible!” Megan said, sobbing into the phone when her mother called. After an hour, Megan ran into her bedroom and hanged herself with a belt.

“She felt there was no way out,” Ms. Meier said.

Megan Meier’s suicide made headlines because she was the victim of a hoax. Lori Drew, another mother in the neighborhood, said in a police report that she had created a MySpace profile of a boy, an invention named “Josh Evans,” and that she and her daughter had manipulated Megan into thinking that this fabricated person liked her.

Then, after a few weeks, Ms. Meier said, girls posing as Josh wrote MySpace messages telling Megan that he hated her. He insulted her, and other girls — most unaware that Josh did not exist — viciously piled on. (Later, through her lawyer, Ms. Drew, 48, denied knowing about the hoax.)

In some ways, the hoax was a tragic oddity. Most mothers don’t pull vicious pranks, and few harassed adolescents become depressed and commit suicide. But Megan’s story is also a case study about cyberbullying.

Cellphone cameras and text messages, as well as social networking Web sites, e-mail and instant messaging, all give teenagers a wider range of ways to play tricks on one another, to tease and to intimidate their peers.
And unlike traditional bullying, which usually is an intimate, if highly unpleasant, experience, high-tech bullying can happen anywhere, anytime, among lots of different children who may never actually meet in person. It is inescapable and often anonymous, said sociologists and educators who have studied cyberbullying. (can happen to ADULTS who have another adult predator prey on their vulnerabilities too!)

Even in this town, where Megan’s name is a constant reminder of the danger of the Web, adolescents say they love using the technology — and some do a little bullying of their own.

“I’m sure that every girl at this table has used cellphones or instant messaging to say something mean about somebody,” said Victoria Fogarty, as she discussed bullying with six other adolescents. Victoria, 14, is the daughter of Pam Fogarty, the mayor of Dardenne Prairie, and an eighth grader at West Middle School, which Megan attended.

Other children are afraid of becoming the next victim.

“Once you’re on MySpace, you’re trapped,” said Jake Dobson, 12, a seventh grader at West Middle School. “You spend all your time online just trying to keep the negative stuff about you from spreading.”

Megan Meier spent months begging for a MySpace page before her mother finally gave in. Ms. Meier thought that making friends online could be good for her daughter, a sensitive girl who craved an emotional connection.

But that neediness made Megan vulnerable. By the third grade Megan hated herself and talked of suicide, Ms. Meier said. The diagnosis was depression and attention deficit disorder, which meant Megan would receive weekly counseling and an evolving list of medications as treatment.

By the time she reached seventh grade at West Middle School, Megan was overweight but active, Ms. Meier said. She hung out with other volleyball players, who were in the second tier of popular girls, just beneath the soccer players, said Laura Rodgers, 14, Megan’s friend.

She aped the styles of those above her, Ms. Meier said. She favored clothes like Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch. Sometimes she applied so much mascara that she resembled a raccoon. Occasionally she would gleefully accept a soccer girl’s invitation to sit at the popular table during lunch, Laura said.

These moments of success faded during gym class, when Megan had to trade her plus-size designer clothes for athletic shorts and T-shirts. “People in P.E. class called her fat every day,” Laura said. “I’d see her in the locker room crying.”

After a difficult year, Megan’s parents transferred their daughter to Immaculate Conception Catholic School in Dardenne Prairie. The school had strict policies aimed at avoiding cliques. Students wear uniforms, and they are assigned lunch tables so they can socialize with everybody.

“There aren’t really cliques there at all,” said Rachel Garzon, 14, who befriended Megan. “You might be closer friends with some people, but you can walk up and talk to anybody and they’ll be nice to you.”

Megan, who had escaped the old cliques, retained her old MySpace page. “She technically wasn’t old enough, because you have to be 14,” Ms. Meier said. “But I was the only one who knew the password. I read every message she received or sent. I thought I could keep it safe, and Megan could meet some friends.”

MySpace uses algorithms and people to strike harassing or bullying images and content, the company said in a written statement, and the site offers users opportunities to report cyberbullies.

But controlling the Web can be almost impossible, experts on children say, and most adolescents are simply not mature enough to handle the virtual world and its anonymous attacks. For instance, “Adolescents take what is said online as the literal truth,” said Justin Patchin, assistant professor of criminal justice at the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire, who studies cyberbullying.

And, as in the Megan Meier case, the victim of cyberbullying is often isolated, yet never free from attack. “The target sees this entire cyberuniverse where everybody is against them, and no one will come to their defense,” said Dr. Walter Roberts, professor of counselor education at Minnesota State University, Mankato. “The harassment is not limited to the portion of the day when the kids are in school. The targeted kids have no escape.”

Three years ago, before Megan’s suicide, the school system identified cyberbullying as a serious problem, said Kim Carter, assistant superintendent for student services in the Fort Zumwalt School District.

In 2005, the school surveyed students and teachers. And before and after Megan’s death, the district held a variety of assemblies, meetings and workshops to train students, parents, faculty and administrators how to recognize and react to cyberbullying.

While all the vigilance has helped, students say, cyberbullying remains common. Last month, a girl won $500 in a class raffle. Before her teacher even opened the door to excuse everyone, the rest of the school was abuzz with rumors that she had cheated, said Sarah Fogarty, another of the mayor’s children.

How was that possible? Cellphones are supposed to be turned off in school. Girls practice text messaging with their eyes closed, Sarah said. They’ve become adept at pressing buttons under their desks while keeping their focus on the teacher.

“I’m not good at it yet,” Sarah said.

This fall an unpopular boy started break dancing at a football game. People took cellphone photos and videos, which they immediately forwarded to hundreds of people. “They were egging him on because they wanted to keep making fun of him, and the photos made him look ridiculous,” said Jake Dobson, the seventh grader.

Even popular kids feel vulnerable.

Ryan Franklin, 12, was a star player on his Little League baseball team until he needed stomach surgery last summer, said his mother, Sonya Franklin. As he recovered, a friend sent e-mail messages to dozens of students falsely stating that Ryan had made sexual comments about a girl in class, Ms. Franklin said.

“The truth was that he’d stopped playing baseball and so he’d lost some of his status,” Ms. Franklin said. “Some people started picking on him because he was an easier target.” The e-mail messages stopped only when she threatened to call the boy’s mother.

Jake Dobson admits he’s not above an instant message making fun of someone, even if he knows that the same thing could happen to him.

“It’s like I can’t even do anything because everybody is sitting there with a cellphone just waiting for me to mess up,” he said.

IS RAPE REALLY POSSIBLE ON THE INTERNET?

In light of the Megan Meier MySpace Suicide Case - we felt it was a good time to rerun this one:
(excerpts)
By: Whitney Galbraith

Is Rape really possible on the Internet or is it just a form of sexual harassment. We all enter into this virtual world scared and alone, knowing that your alone you should take same precautions that are taken when you are walking home alone at night, anything is possible.

When anything is possible on the Internet, being raped by definition of rape is impossible. According to Collins English Dictionary rape is: "The offense of forcing a person, esp. a woman, to submit to sexual intercourse against that persons will." Yet, on the other hand another definition of rape is: "Any violation or abuse: the rape of justice." The first definition of rape is impossible of taking place whereas the second one is a better explanation of what took place. The definition of Virtual Rape is exactly what happened, but the word rape is a very strong, powerful word to be using for the explanation of sexual harassment.

The use of the word rape is unacceptable because it gives the reader a false impression about what the story will be about. Until, I knew the definition of Virtual Rape I thought this woman was a nut to think that she had been raped. A different title should have been used from the beginning so that the reader starts with an open mind and not as I did. I read that a woman was raped on the Internet and immediately had a bad impression about the following story. This woman on the Internet did experience a violation except for the fact that she was involved in a virtual world.

When entering into a virtual world one has to be able to escape reality on some levels. Escaping reality means that you must not take things personally even when they are directed toward you. However, some things are very hard to ignore therefore we must be able to understand that these things being said to us are just words put into sentences, and these sentences can be disturbing coming from a stranger. What the words make up seem extremely real especially because this woman was personally and emotionally involved, this needs to be avoided so that people don't experience the feeling that this woman did. These threatening sentences should be easier to accept coming from a stranger, because we don't know is on the other end and we can question their mental state when they say abnormal things. Many people enter not these virtual worlds to be able to fulfill their fantasies. We must remember that there are no rules and therefore many people's imaginations go wild. As we have seen some of these things can be very revolting.

We also enter into this virtual world when we turn on the TV. We watch TV either with complete concentration or none at all, either way it doesn’t affect us. A virtual world computer experience is exactly the same in the sense that your concentration level doesn't matter.

In real life we do space out (disinhibition syndrome) but if you were driving down the road without some level of concentration you would most likely crash. When you are watching a movie most of the time you are very interested and often feel apart of the show. When you turn off the movie that feeling is gone.

When we have a movie actor that addresses you as his audience and he is virtually raping you, you are not likely to keep watching that movie. In actuality most people would shut off the show or watch it but wouldn't take it very serious, computers are the same, we shouldn't be taking virtual world experiences seriously. Yes, computers are a little more personal, but being able to distinguish between real life and virtual life is the task. One has to use their imagination and common sense to be able to do so.

Every person is different, but we all have feelings and we all experience things differently. Hearing this ladies story about being raped on the Internet is scary but very difficult to even try and understand how or why she stayed logged on and in contact with this guy when she never had to. She could have approached the situation very differently, but not being able to know how she felt we can not say she did the wrong thing. Everyone has the right to respond to things differently, but we should all be able to justify to ourselves why, it makes it easier for the individual to be able to understand.

The mental pain that this woman experienced was real, yet the events that made her feel this way took place in a virtual world. This proves that yes, there may be a virtual world, but not letting these things affect your real life is virtually impossible. Instead of trying to understand why these things happen we should try and prevent ourselves getting into these situations. When something happens to us the thoughts and memories are always there. This woman wasn't physically hurt, but she was extremely mentally hurt, and this possibly more damaging for her. The feeling that she experienced was that of sexual harassment. Sexual harassment by definition is: "The persistent unwelcome directing of sexual remarks, looks, etc." Collins English Dictionary This is what this woman experienced, not rape by definition.

By definition this woman experienced a form of sexual harassment that was said to have been rape. I agree that this may be a very threatening and disturbing experience, but if you don't like what is being said to you log off. I think that it is hard to determine how we should take this, for that matter how should we take anything. Any topic can be blown out of proportion with the right attitudes involved. This rape on the Internet was taken a little too far, but not quite far enough because it can still take place. Some how there needs to be rules, but until there are rules people need to understand that unbelievable things can happen.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

A RAPE IN CYBERSPACE

VIRTUAL RAPE IS A CRIME

In Our Humble Opinion, the author totally missed that many Online "Rape" Victims (aka Emotional or Mental Rape) are survivors or victims of other sorts of abuse and therefore vulnerable. Vulnerable people DON'T SEE RED FLAGS. They aren't stupid or naive. They don't have the ability to see the dangers. They often suffer from issues of abandonment and repetition compulsion

Many times these people "freeze" when something that traumatizes them appears online - unable to turn off the computer for a few minutes, or until after the damage is done. This unfortunately is an outcropping of PTSD and needs to be taken into account rather than questioning why the victim didn't just log off.

Emotional & Psychological Rape on the internet is very real & very traumatic.- Fighter

IS RAPE REALLY POSSIBLE ON THE INTERNET?

In light of the Megan Meier MySpace Suicide Case - we felt it was a good time to rerun this one:
(excerpts)
By: Whitney Galbraith

Is Rape really possible on the Internet or is it just a form of sexual harassment. We all enter into this virtual world scared and alone, knowing that your alone you should take same precautions that are taken when you are walking home alone at night, anything is possible.

When anything is possible on the Internet, being raped by definition of rape is impossible. According to Collins English Dictionary rape is: "The offense of forcing a person, esp. a woman, to submit to sexual intercourse against that persons will." Yet, on the other hand another definition of rape is: "Any violation or abuse: the rape of justice." The first definition of rape is impossible of taking place whereas the second one is a better explanation of what took place. The definition of Virtual Rape is exactly what happened, but the word rape is a very strong, powerful word to be using for the explanation of sexual harassment.

The use of the word rape is unacceptable because it gives the reader a false impression about what the story will be about. Until, I knew the definition of Virtual Rape I thought this woman was a nut to think that she had been raped. A different title should have been used from the beginning so that the reader starts with an open mind and not as I did. I read that a woman was raped on the Internet and immediately had a bad impression about the following story. This woman on the Internet did experience a violation except for the fact that she was involved in a virtual world.

When entering into a virtual world one has to be able to escape reality on some levels. Escaping reality means that you must not take things personally even when they are directed toward you. However, some things are very hard to ignore therefore we must be able to understand that these things being said to us are just words put into sentences, and these sentences can be disturbing coming from a stranger. What the words make up seem extremely real especially because this woman was personally and emotionally involved, this needs to be avoided so that people don't experience the feeling that this woman did. These threatening sentences should be easier to accept coming from a stranger, because we don't know is on the other end and we can question their mental state when they say abnormal things. Many people enter not these virtual worlds to be able to fulfill their fantasies. We must remember that there are no rules and therefore many people's imaginations go wild. As we have seen some of these things can be very revolting.

We also enter into this virtual world when we turn on the TV. We watch TV either with complete concentration or none at all, either way it doesn’t affect us. A virtual world computer experience is exactly the same in the sense that your concentration level doesn't matter.

In real life we do space out (disinhibition syndrome) but if you were driving down the road without some level of concentration you would most likely crash. When you are watching a movie most of the time you are very interested and often feel apart of the show. When you turn off the movie that feeling is gone.

When we have a movie actor that addresses you as his audience and he is virtually raping you, you are not likely to keep watching that movie. In actuality most people would shut off the show or watch it but wouldn't take it very serious, computers are the same, we shouldn't be taking virtual world experiences seriously. Yes, computers are a little more personal, but being able to distinguish between real life and virtual life is the task. One has to use their imagination and common sense to be able to do so.

Every person is different, but we all have feelings and we all experience things differently. Hearing this ladies story about being raped on the Internet is scary but very difficult to even try and understand how or why she stayed logged on and in contact with this guy when she never had to. She could have approached the situation very differently, but not being able to know how she felt we can not say she did the wrong thing. Everyone has the right to respond to things differently, but we should all be able to justify to ourselves why, it makes it easier for the individual to be able to understand.

The mental pain that this woman experienced was real, yet the events that made her feel this way took place in a virtual world. This proves that yes, there may be a virtual world, but not letting these things affect your real life is virtually impossible. Instead of trying to understand why these things happen we should try and prevent ourselves getting into these situations. When something happens to us the thoughts and memories are always there. This woman wasn't physically hurt, but she was extremely mentally hurt, and this possibly more damaging for her. The feeling that she experienced was that of sexual harassment. Sexual harassment by definition is: "The persistent unwelcome directing of sexual remarks, looks, etc." Collins English Dictionary This is what this woman experienced, not rape by definition.

By definition this woman experienced a form of sexual harassment that was said to have been rape. I agree that this may be a very threatening and disturbing experience, but if you don't like what is being said to you log off. I think that it is hard to determine how we should take this, for that matter how should we take anything. Any topic can be blown out of proportion with the right attitudes involved. This rape on the Internet was taken a little too far, but not quite far enough because it can still take place. Some how there needs to be rules, but until there are rules people need to understand that unbelievable things can happen.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

A RAPE IN CYBERSPACE

VIRTUAL RAPE IS A CRIME

In Our Humble Opinion, the author totally missed that many Online "Rape" Victims (aka Emotional or Mental Rape) are survivors or victims of other sorts of abuse and therefore vulnerable. Vulnerable people DON'T SEE RED FLAGS. They aren't stupid or naive. They don't have the ability to see the dangers. They often suffer from issues of abandonment and repetition compulsion

Many times these people "freeze" when something that traumatizes them appears online - unable to turn off the computer for a few minutes, or until after the damage is done. This unfortunately is an outcropping of PTSD and needs to be taken into account rather than questioning why the victim didn't just log off.

Emotional & Psychological Rape on the internet is very real & very traumatic.- Fighter