Trolling the Internet for Prey: Cyberpaths

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  from: http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/
  
  The internet offers fertile ground for psychopaths, who are constantly on the prowl for potential new victims while continuing to intimidate and harass their previous ones.
  
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  • Please find below an informative article on psychopaths on the internet (or “cyberpaths”) by a wordpress blogger, Lisa (relentlessabundance.wordpress.com).
    
    What is the cyberpath looking for?
    
    Like all psychopathic personalities, the cyberpath tends to get bored easily. He looks for ways to fill his boredom with exploits that will satisfy his need for personal gratification. The Internet provides a wide array of offerings – chatrooms and discussion groups, mailing lists, social networking sites, and many portals for interpersonal communication with a huge variety of people. The cyberpath tends to find someone that gratifies his need to feed his narcissistic desire for attention – whether with intrigue, argument, conflict or adoration and love. He may flit from one victim to another quite quickly, or may stay with a single victim for an extended period, depending on how long the victim continues to feed this endless need.
    
    Dominance and power form recurrent themes in the social relations of psychopathic personalities. The cyberpath constantly seeks to dominate and control others. This takes a variety of forms:
    
    •in arguments and debates, he constantly needs to have the last word;
    •he attempts to silence others and close discussion with his point of view;
    •he will resort to insults and attacks in order to retain dominance;
    •if he seems to be losing his dominant position in an argument, he will abandon it, forget it and later deny it rather than face any sort of compromise of his dominance.
  
  
  • In his personal relationships, his bids for adulation and devotion will take on more subtle forms:
  
  
  • he will go to great lengths to elicit love and devotion from others;
  
  
  • he is only interested in the thrill of achieving or winning this, and once the relationship gets past its initial excitement phase, his boredom and need for further validation will lead him to seek out further victims;
  
  
  • he is highly adept at lying, and even as his lies get discovered, he will refashion his story to make himself appear credible, often using the stance of humility and remorse to get himself out of a corner.
  
  
  

  Gradually he will have to set up new online profiles and sites in order to clear away any previous evidence of his track record repeating itself.

  
  

  Psychopathic personalities enjoy playing jokes and tricks on others in order to humiliate them or assert dominance. In other words, he is not necessarily looking for money or sex; he may simply be looking for the thrill of a new connection, a new game. This is not to say that the psychopath is necessarily aware of what he’s doing; he may not even realise or acknowledge that he is hurting or exploiting others in his quest for attention and narcissistic supply. Indeed, his own sense of need and lack may be so great that it may express itself in very genuine self-pity, heartfelt longing and sweeping declarations of love and desire.
  
  A psychopath tends to play the same games over and over. He tends to have no real interest in your inner emotional state as he is incapable of actual empathy (although he may have a deep desire to feel empathy, and may indeed claim to feel it). Consequently, few psychopaths are actually stalkers. They do not connect emotionally to others, so once a relationship has run out of steam for them, they simply move onto the next person that piques their interest. For those who have found themselves at the end of a relationship with a psychopathic individual, one of the most frustrating aspects of the breakup can be the lack of any acknowledgement that the relationship even happened.
  
  Gordon Banks, in his essay “Don Juan as Psychopath” points out that this personality “gives no real love, though he is quite capable of inspiring love of sometimes fanatical degree in others”. Of course, after the relationship is over, it means very little to the cyberpath, who tends to turn cold (and sometimes even vicious) but the victim may find themselves shocked, devastated or seriously traumatised.

  
  
  • The perverse twist to this theme is that the psychopathic personality may take pleasure in “psychoanalysing” his victims, and casting them as crazy, obsessive and even delusional (and reinforcing his own power as the dominant “rational” figure in the relationship).
    
    Most cyberpaths are not the kinds of hardened criminals that go as far as murder, rape and the other crimes we’ve come to associate with literary and filmic “psychos”. Rather, they tend to commit crimes of deceit, lying and infidelity. Their manipulation will go as far as seemingly heartfelt confessions, as well as successive revisions of their own narratives. Sadly, they will often actually believe their own stories.
    
    A cyberpath will keep his victim hooked for as long as she keeps fuelling his narcissistic desire for devotion and approval. However, the charade will drop when this starts waning (typically the phase of a relationship where normal couples settle down from the initial infatuation into the normalcy of their relationship). Alternatively, it may drop when the cyberpath simply gets bored of his current victim and requires a more novel buzz.
    
    What may attract you to a psychopath initially
    
    •he may appear extraordinarily articulate, impressive and charming
    •his provocative behaviour might initially seem attractively brave,
    daring or “true to self”; later when it makes you uncomfortable, you might well rationalise it by remembering that it’s part of what makes him “special”
    •he will “zone in” on you and make you feel like you are at the centre of something extraordinary
    •irresistibly, he will insist that your relationship eclipses and surpasses anything that went before – you are the first person that has truly seen or understood him; the best lover he has ever had; the first person with whom he has been truly honest or truly “himself” (indeed, he may believe this himself, as he does not have any emotional recall for previous relationships)
    •even if he has cheated on or betrayed someone else in the initial stages of your relationship, he will twist this to demonstrate that you are the special case – now that he’s found you, there can be no further dishonesty
    •he may overtly or subtly assert his dominance over you as a kind of private privilege
    •he may create a heightened sense of intimacy (a sort of “me and you against the world” in-club) by insisting that you alone understand him and share his unique perspective.
  
  
  The sorts of things that might alert you to psychopathic tendencies
  •consistent failure to conform to social norms (e.g. a tendency to speak or behave to shock others, insistently provocative behaviour)
  •deceitfulness, lying, creation of multiple aliases
  •insulting or humiliating treatment
  •arrogance, a sense of entitlement, inflated sense of ego
  •a tendency to “psychoanalyse” others, especially previous exes, as insane or obsessive
  •coolly rationalising or “explaining away” previous incidents in which he has hurt, mistreated or lied to others
  •lack of empathy, guilt or remorse for previous misdemeanours and previous victims
  •a limited or nonexistent social circle, largely made up of people he sees rarely or online acquaintances, rather than close friends or confidantes
  •a pattern of serious mental illness or psychosis in his family; fraught or nonexistent family ties.



• If you have been in a relationship with a psychopathic personalit:


• get as far away from them as you can, as quickly as possible


• don’t bother trying to communicate with them about the relationship – they will be unable to enter into a meaningful dialogue


• if you seek to expose them, bear in mind they are likely to respond with vitriolic rage, threats, vicious and hurtful communication, or attempts to discredit you and smear your reputation


• resign yourself to the fact that you are unlikely to retrieve anything from them unless you are fortunate enough to have a legally binding contract from before they turned cold on you
  •don’t beat yourself up about not recognising the signs earlier; just act as soon as you do


• seek therapy as soon as possible; the trauma of these encounters can be long-lasting and profound


• if possible, warn others of your experience


• bear in mind he will be doing his best to cast you as irrational or downright crazy, so it might not be possible or worthwhile to warn his friends or his most recent victim


• tempting as it is to try get him to hear your point of view, cut your losses and keep away from any further contact.
  

The other side of the coin

With around 4% of the general population displaying psychopathic traits, some psychologists readily regard psychopathy, like some forms of autistic traits, as “just another way of being”. The psychopaths that end up committing socially unacceptable crimes such as rape and murder are simply the ‘unsuccessful psychopaths’; the successful ones may actually exploit their tendencies to achieve great outward trappings of success. Intelligence, charm and uncompromising self-interest can be a recipe for high earnings and some degree of social (or at least sexual) success. That said, if you’re among of the 96% of the population that values a degree of empathy and compassion in your friends and partners, it’s worth knowing what to look out for.

Lisa, http://relentlessabundance.wordpress.com

LOOK OUT FOR THE "COCKTAIL PERSONALITY" CYBERPATH!

Definition: Someone with a "cocktail personality".

This individual possesses the chameleon-like capability of recognizing the strength and weaknesses in another individuals personality and adapting to them in a way that not only accelerates, but grossly intensifies the "merging".

(merging may include the Cyberpath taking pieces of personality and/or history from a partner(s) or close friend(s) or target(s). Or seeming to have 'so much in common' or be 'just like' the target to create a false sense of bonding)

(Commonly seen in persons with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder) Sound like any Cyberpaths You Know? (sounds like ALL of ours) - EOPC

The Four Psychological Stages Of Those Abused by Cyberpaths

Stage One ~ DENIAL
The victim refuses to admit even to herself, that she has been 'had' or that there is a problem in her online relationship/friendship. She may call each incident an accident. She offers excuses & rationalizations and each time she is played or insulted firmly believes it will never happen again.

Stage Two ~ GUILT
Victim now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers herself responsible for it. She deserves to be used and lied to, she feels because she has defects in her character and is not living up to her predators's expectations.

Stage Three ~ ENLIGHTENMENT
The woman no longer assumes responsibility for her cyberpaths's abusive treatment, recognizing that no one deserves to be treated badly, used, played or lied to. She is still committed to her online relationship though and stays with her cyberpath hoping they can work things out. During this period she often questions the predator and hopes for "straight answers" because things are starting to not jive or make sense.

Stage Four ~ RESPONSIBILITY
Accepting the fact that her cyberpath will not, or can not, stop his predatory & manipulative behavior, the victim decides she will no longer submit to it and starts a new life.

Often involves "telling" and no more secret keeping - by which she can achieve validation that she is not alone or stupid.

original article here

Case Highlights 'Spoofing' and Other Electronic Stalking

By Nathan Gorenstein

The e-mailed threat was stark. "How would you like it if your sister went missing?" The next message was an insult. "Whore," the writer said, and taunted, "You called the cops but they can't do anything."

Todd Hart, 26, had reason to believe his boast was accurate.

The victim, an ex-girlfriend he threatened for weeks last June, had called police about earlier disturbing e-mails. They immediately asked for copies.

Problem was, the e-mails had all disappeared. Twenty minutes after the woman opened each electronic message, it somehow automatically deleted itself from her computer's in-box.

So a police officer sat down at the woman's computer to see the next threat himself.

By July, the FBI was knocking at the door of Hart, a former SEPTA employee now being held in jail. On Monday, he will be sentenced in U.S. District Court for a string of electronic attacks on the woman, her friends, and her family. He pleaded guilty in November.

"For about a month, when all the harassment was going on, I would sit in my room and pray to God that it would stop," the 24-year-old woman, who lives in California, wrote in a victim's statement. Her name is redacted from sentencing documents.

In the course of a few hours one evening last year, prosecutors believe, Hart dispatched a sewer repairman, a pizza deliverer, and an electrician to her father's house.

After a short relationship - initiated on an online dating site - Hart reacted with fury when the woman announced she was moving from Philadelphia to take an internship at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories in California.

First, he threatened suicide. Then came the stalking.

The self-deleting e-mails were an unusual touch: Even the experienced federal prosecutor in Philadelphia had not encountered it before.

Hart also used a second tactic, called "spoofing," to make harassing calls that recipients could not trace to his telephone number.

Using "SpoofCard.com," one of many Internet services that permit callers to hide their phone number and even change the sound of their voice, Hart made calls warning the woman that she had 10 days to leave California "or else." In another call, he said, "You're going to [obscenity] die."

Thanks to modern electronics, that wasn't all.

Using passwords obtained while they lived together, Hart canceled a doctor's appointment, changed the passwords on the woman's e-mail and Facebook accounts, took control of her bank accounts, and deleted her application to take the Medical College Admission Test.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Michael Levy is asking for a sentence of at least 57 months, a year above the federal guidelines. "To say that this defendant has serious emotional problems when it comes to dealing with women is an understatement," he has told the judge.

He also offers some advice: Completely revise a password whenever you believe it is compromised. And be careful with whom you share a password.

Hart's attorney, federal public defender Mark T. Wilson, did not return messages seeking comment.

Hart pleaded guilty to stalking and unauthorized use of a computer. Such crimes are usually prosecuted in state court, but he is facing a federal judge because the victim worked at a federal institution, Livermore, whose internal police force the woman had initially contacted.

Among other scientific work, Lawrence Livermore is the nation's top nuclear-weapons research lab, though the woman, a biology and premed major, was not employed in that research.

Hart has previous convictions for forgery, and in 2003 he was convicted in Burlington County "for almost identical" stalking charges, Levy said. In 2005, he was convicted for sneaking into a women's bathroom at Immaculata College and videotaping students as they used the toilet. He initially received probation, but within 18 months he was in violation and served time in jail, according to court documents. He is in Chester County Jail for again violating his probation.

When FBI agents searched his Philadelphia apartment, they discovered a telescopelike object called a "peephole reverser."

"The agents tested it and determined that it enabled a viewer to look into an apartment through the peephole," according to court documents.

"The Federal Bureau of Prisons does have counseling programs," Levy said in an interview, "and he clearly needs counseling. I don't know if he would be cured."

Levy, who has wide experience handling computer crime, said it was the first case he had handled involving self-deleting e-mails.

No one from the mail service Hart used, BigString in Red Bank, N.J., returned calls or messages seeking comment.

The company is in financial trouble, according to corporate records, but at least a half-dozen other firms offer such services, according to their websites. Various technology is used. BigString promises that once the recipient clicks on the message sent through its servers, the mail will "self-destruct" within a specified time period.

On its website, the firm adds, "The mail, while looking like every other mail, will print nothing when the receiver clicks print on the computer and show nothing if the receiver tries to save the text or image."

The second technique Hart used is more common. Spoofing has been controversial enough that Congress last year made it illegal to hide the origin of a telephone call "unless a legitimate business reason exists," according to pending Federal Communications Commission regulations.

Meir Cohen, president of SpoofCard.com, said that despite the firm's name, its intent is to provide legitimate services. As an example, he cited an on-call physician who may use a personal cell phone to contact a patient but wants return calls to go to his office or answering service first. The doctor can have one of those numbers appear on the patient's telephone instead.

"The vast majority of our customers use it as a tool to protect their privacy," Cohen said. "A large portion of customers are really women who want to protect their privacy and don't want [stalkers] to have their numbers."

Cohen, who was familiar with the Hart case, said, "My heart goes out to the victim."

SpoofCard.com cooperates with law enforcement, he said, and "we will hand over records if we are subpoenaed."

original article here

Stop Trolling!! Married Means M-A-R-R-I-E-D

(This gem was posted on Craigslist.com and was so good, we are reposting here for all the victims and spouses (even those in denial) of online cheaters & cyberpaths - EOPC)

Married means married, Moron

It's getting to the point where I can't even read those stupid personal ads anymore, not even for fun.

They're loaded with married people, bitching about their spouses, and looking for something "better".

I've got a few things to tell you:

1. "She" is not the reason your marriage sucks. YOU are.

If you spent half as much time paying attention to your wife as you do trolling CraigsList (or other sites) for sex, your marriage would be a whole lot better.

2. Yeah, yeah, we've all heard it a thousand times. You're in a sexless marriage.

First of all, that's probably a lie, because most cheaters are liars too. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, pal- if your wife isn't interested in sex, it's because you're not offering sex that's interesting. Married guys get awfully boring after a while. They do the same boring thing the same boring way every single time and then -- they expect you to scream like a porn star.

Seriously, you come home from work, totally ignore her while she chases the kids around for 4 hours, makes dinner, does the laundry, blah blah blah, and then you expect her to roll over with her legs open for another session of same-old same-old? When are you idiots going to learn that the best foreplay in the world for a woman is watching you take care of the kids, vacuum the floor, pick up the dog poo in the backyard. Or how about just listening when she talks? You know, it's not that hard to stop thinking about yourself for five minutes and hear what she has to say.

Think about it - way back when, when you were getting your brains ****ed out on a regular basis - what were YOU doing differently than you're doing now? Planning dates, telling her she looked nice, acting like you're happy to be with her? A thousand dollars says if you do that stuff again you'll get the same result.

3. Spare us. Your kids are NOT the reason you're staying married. If you were THAT miserable, you'd leave whether you had kids or not. If you're not getting a divorce it's because YOU DON'T WANT TO. For whatever reason.

At least be honest and don't try to feed people that tired line about staying married for the kids. Contrary to what you think, it doesn't make you look like a poor suffering but honorable victim. You obviously don't care enough about your kids to treat their mother with enough respect not to cheat on her, and you don't care about them enough to spend time with THEM instead of some vulnerable woman who falls for your carefully constructed lies, so cut it out with that crap. (BTW - did you even BOTHER to tell her you're MARRIED with KIDS?)

There is absolutely nothing honorable about putting your **** ahead of your kids. If you really really cared about them, you would get offline put ALL your time and effort and money into saving the one thing that means most to them in the whole world - your marriage and their family. Otherwise you're full of crap.

4. We all know how bored you are. Poor you, someone should really come along to entertain you.

What are you, 12 years old? If you're bored with your marriage, it's because YOU'RE BORING, and have you ever stopped to think that if you're bored, she probably is too? But instead of throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old, she's at home cleaning out the lint trap on the dryer and washing kool-aid off the kitchen floor. Yeah, she's having a riot washing your underwear and cleaning up cat puke.

Marriage is hard work. Heck, life is hard work. Grow up and take some responsibility for yourself. You supposedly have a brain, USE it. Put some thought into your marriage and some effort into your life and stop blaming her and being a baby because life isn't fun.

5. You're looking for someone "younger."

Sure you are. You think you look the same as you did when you got married? I'd bet not. Even if you do, you haven't spent the last 10 years having babies (the ones YOU wanted) and sacrificing your body for them. The next time you have to have someone stitch your ***hole together because you just pushed a watermelon out of your butt, then you can squawk. If you ever spend 9 months with your belly stretched to obscene proportions, and manage to look exactly the same as you used to 6 weeks later, then you can whine about how "she's not attractive anymore." Until then, shut the **** up.

You have no concept of what she has sacrificed to give you the children you "claim" to love. You really think she wants varicose veins and stretch marks and a distended belly and saggy boobs? Get real. What she wants is a man who understands and values WHY she has varicose veins and stretch marks and a distended belly and saggy boobs. She wants a man who loves her because she was willing to make those sacrifices with her own body because she loves HIM. Instead, you criticize and go running off with the first perky 25 year old who gives you the time of day. (or the first vulnerable woman who's being ignored by her man or is vulnerable enough in some way that her b.s. radar is damaged while you put the NLP whamma-jamma on her and say "I love you" just get her to spread her legs for you.) Ugh.

6. And finally, if you're cheating on your wife, there's something wrong with YOU.

If you're not happy with your marriage, exactly how do you think screwing some sl*t you barely know is going to fix that? Exactly how is that going to make anyone happy? Have you ever actually heard of adultery or an online affair working out really well for everyone involved? Are you actually stupid enough to think that you're going to be the exception to that rule? If so, you are delusional and you need professional help.

Affairs are disasters - not some of the time; not most of the time; ALL OF THE TIME. Your guilt and trying to cover your tracks will drive you crazy. Someone WILL find out. You will NOT be able to keep up the lies and the deception. And it will all lead up to a disaster of epic proportions, which leads me to Lucky #7.

7. Here‘s what you can expect in the wake of your little ****-fest:

Divorce - this is where you lose everything- your wife, your house, half your income and possessions, possibly your job if you're stupid enough to be screwing around with a co-worker, your kids - EVERYTHING. You will LOSE IT ALL.

Exposure - this is where everyone finds out what a scumbag you are. And they WILL find out. Your boss, your co-workers, your friends, your family, HER family, your neighbors, the parents of your kids‘ friends, everyone at your church. They WILL find out. Why? Because your now ex-wife and/ or ex-girlfriend(s) will tell them. She will probably tell everyone she knows, and everyone you know, and she will feel good doing it. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn't rent a billboard.

Oh, and DON'T try to paint yourself as the 'victim' of jealous or obsessed or scorned women. We all know that's a lie, too.

You lied to your wife and your probably lying to all your girlfriends as well as lying about one to the other. Otherwise, all bets are off. Be prepared.

Your Kids - this is where you totally lose the respect of your kids, and you deserve to lose it. They will realize in pretty short order that you didn't care enough about them to keep your pants on. They will see their mother cry and they will hate you for it. They will end up shuttling back and forth between their home and your apartment, and they will hate you for it. Every time they have to tell someone that their parents are divorced, they will hate you for it.

And God forbid you decide to "introduce" them to your shiny new soulmate/ ****buddy; they will REALLY hate you for that. If your kids are really young, you have a little time before all this hits the fan, but be warned, it's coming. They will forever see you as the moron who broke up or disrupted their family. Even if you stick around - they will know that you can't be trusted, that you are weak and immoral and selfish. And they'll figure it out all by themselves, even if you never talk to them about it. Because your kids are smarter than you are at this point.

And when your new "soulmate" figures out your real agenda, bend over and kiss it goodbye. If all she does is "expose you" after she finds out you ripped her heart out at the root - you should thank her not smear her. It's nothing less than what you asked for.

So, go ahead and whine your pathetic nonsense about how you're a victim and your wife is a horrible shrew. Do your best to convince yourself and everyone around you that you didn't have any choice and your wife "drove you to it." Start with the rationalizations and justifications now; you're going to need a lot of them.

Remember that the best defense is a good offense and start a mental list of all the ways your wife is deficient. Make sure to re-write the history of your marriage so that you can say that you were miserable from the first day. You should have married that OTHER girl (who probably dumped your sorry ***)

Be sure to tell your wife that you love her, you're just not "in love" with her anymore. Deal with your guilt by lashing out at everyone around you.

Above all, take ZERO responsibility for any problems YOU may have that caused you to be such a spineless loser in the first place.

Congratulations, you've just joined the Adulterers Club!

DETECTING LIES

Are you always the last to know the truth about what's REALLY going on? Does it drive you crazy that you can't seem to pick up clues that someone might be lying, when all your friends seem to be able to spot them a mile away? Here are some telltale signs that what you're hearing might be something less than the whole truth.

(Excerpts applicable to internet communications):

Credibility
...make sure you really listen to their words. If they're explaining why they couldn't make your party, for example, see if the excuse sounds plausible. Some people, in the panic of being forced to lie, can trot out the most absurd story that is just impossible to believe. Really bad liars look skeptical as they tell their tall tale - even THEY don't look like they believe it.

Other people will fire off several excuses in a row, each one more outrageous than the last. Sometimes this list of excuses can even contradict each other, as the liar doesn't have time to think about whether his story works or not.

These are obvious examples of credibility problems, but the bottom line is to combine an awareness the messages this person is sending with his words. If they don't add up, you're entitled to question his truthfulness.


Gut instinct
But how do you deal with a more accomplished liar? What if he seems relaxed and open and has a flawless story? This kind of liar is more of a challenge, but you have a powerful secret weapon left: listen to your instincts.

Sometimes you are face to face with a professional con man or a compulsively unfaithful partner. Such people will be experienced and credible. They will have worked on controlling their reactions to the fear of getting caught out, and will seem natural and trustworthy at first glance. They've probably rehearsed their story, or used it successfully many times before without getting caught, so they are confident that you will believe it too.

In these situations, and often in spite of all the evidence before you, you will sometimes experience a strong feeling that something's not right. Even though logically the story might seem absolutely watertight, something inside you is sending you warning signals.

The biggest mistake you can ever make in such a situation is to ignore this gut feeling. You might not be able to put your finger on your suspicions - let alone explain them to anyone else - bdishout your best course of action is to just reserve judgement until you have more information. Don't accuse anyone, but don't put yourself at their mercy either. Wait until you're sure they're on the level.

Of course, not everyone deserves to be the object of automatic and chronic suspicion. But if you're not sure if someone is lying to you, pay attention. You will find that your ability to spot a lie at 50 paces becomes finely tuned and very reliable.

Written by Elizabeth Hardy
SOURCE

Do They Fit the Checklist on Predators?

The other type of emotionally unavailable man is unavailable due to his relationship (or relationships) with another woman (or women). These guys are never really committed to a woman. They don’t see any relationship as necessarily permanent, including marriage - even if they give lip service to being “deeply committed” to the woman they are with at the moment.

In truth, however, they don’t truly value their intimate relationships or take them seriously, because they are merely “playing,” even though engagement or marriage hardly seems like something to “play” at. They don’t take their relationships seriously because on some level - even if subconsciously - they know they can find someone else who will get involved with them if their current affair ends. What else would cause someone to repeatedly play his future like a crap-shoot without really fearing the outcome?

…It is probably because women keep attempting to get close to him that causes him to keep moving from partner to partner or to keep adding partners. He is uninterested in experiencing or is unable to experience deep feelings of connection with anyone. CHECK!

…What is dangerous about emotionally unavailable men is that they are not authentically emotionally responsive. They are emotionally avoidant.

…Some of these men may have a sexual addiction that fuels their pursuit of rapidly revolving, superficial relationships. Perhaps his sexual addiction takes the form of chronic and compulsive pornography use, a pattern that will diminish a man’s normal human responsiveness.

… be aware that [this type of man] will come across to you as a devoted father and husband or as an upstanding citizen of his community. Never discount the possibility that your emotionally unavailable man may have multiple hidden lives (always the case if he’s engaging in clandestine extramarital affairs) as well as being an emotional predator. For example: emotional unavailability, plus life he keeps hidden from you, his wife or his girlfriend, plus the keen sixth sense of an emotional predator, plus a sexual addiction - help these pathological men thrive at attracting serial superficial relationships.

If he is a sexual addict as well he will have a hidden life of endless porn watching, masturbation, voyeurism, and even using prostitutes. Many times these men will cover their perversions with heavy involvement in community politics, their church or synagogue or doing volunteer work. And they will make sure this cover is very visible so no one suspects.

Sexually addicted predators will not stop at you, they will go after your friends as well. They think nothing of telling your friend that you mean nothing to them and that you are possibly “imagining” the relationship. They will tell their wives the same things about you or any other woman they know insisting “she’s jealous of us and is obsessed with me.” They are masterful jugglers of time and people.

…a woman’s availability itself is a deciding factor… “any port in a storm” will provide adequate distraction from the reality of his life.

Womanizers also look for women who will believe their stories about their home life. Very few of them tell women how happy they are at home, how wonderful their wife is, and how they just really want to have extramarital sex with no strings attached. No, that usually isn’t the story line. The story line goes: “No one has ever really loved me, and certainly not my wife. She nags… doesn’t appreciate me… hates sex…”

Women take this hook too often. …they will be able to make him “finally feel loved… listened to… appreciated.” His need is not “once and for all to be loved” as much as it is to get laid, be amused and be distracted.

A womanizer may be highly verbal about his relationships. He may share personal information in such a way that women mistake his sharing for emotional intimacy… He knows well enough that women are empathic to tales of empty and sad relationships…

An interesting point is that almost every woman who told us her story about getting involved with an emotionally unavailable man said it happened at a time when her self-esteem was low. [She] was coming out of a relationship situation that had damaged her self-esteem (such as being abused or even going through a divorce). Women accept far more during times of low self-esteem than they do when their self-esteem is sound. A belief that she doesn’t deserve a whole, satisfying and healthy relationship is a reflection of how low her self-esteem is. If a man gives a woman who suffers with low-self esteem a little attention… then too often she willingly falls [for him].

The emotional predator is as bad as it gets. He qualifies as the pinnacle of poisonous and pathological… He could, in fact, be called the “emotional psychic.” That’s because it’s his ability to intuit and sense a woman’s emotional vulnerabilities that places her at risk. Webster’s defines predatory as “having a disposition to injure or exploit others for one’s own gain"; it defines predator as “one that preys, destroys or devours.” That’s a good summation of this man. Who but the most pathological among us would set out to exploit, prey on, destroy or devour?

He will hone in on your vulnerabilities and read you. If he likes what he reads, he will follow up by luring you into his scary and dangerous life.

Predators have a natural ability for reading women who are lonely, needy by nature, emotionally wounded or vulnerable. The predator also has his antennae up for women who… have unfulfilled needs in their lives. …he figures out how he can squeeze into the vacant space in your life and what you need to hear in order to allow this to happen.

…[they] “sense” which woman will make the best target for them. They don’t know why they have this gift or how they acquired it. …they have been working women over since childhood. A predator’s intuitive sixth sense is untaught. …an adult’s skills can’t compete with his abilities to scam, con and conquer.

…emotional predators also fall into the mentally-ill category, usually under the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Most also have hidden lives. When you couple a predator’s natural instincts with a lifetime of skills honed by successfully conning, exploiting and injuring women, you have a man who is nothing short of extraordinarily smooth and capable of horrific dangerousness.

Predators’ motives vary. But you can be sure a predator wants something from you. That is the entire reason for the relationship. …There is something in you that he wants. Maybe “all” he wants is your utter adoration or for you to exalt his ego. …Maybe wants what you can provide to help establish his image so he will marry you (’good family man’). Or maybe …he’s most interested in the pursuit and conquest of a woman… If he is a sexual predator, you are a target, whether it be for consensual sex or rape - depending on whichever way it plays out or whatever mood he is in.

A predator does not “need” the relationship. Early on… the predator is deliberately romantic. Predators are shifting chameleons who can be all things to all women. Predators are smooth as silk. …predators are listeners who will give up very little information until they are sure it will align with your history. …His selection is based on his need and your vulnerability. He knows it’s a matter of matching need with need. The more he knows about your needs, the better he can meet them.

He has a nose for vulnerability, so women who have unmet needs “smell” especially good to him. He seeks women who need men who can “sense and know” them on almost a spiritual level. Since he is good at this, he will appear to know you well - and quickly.

They like women who had absent fathers, angry mothers or neglectful and abusive husbands. Knowing that many women are trained to believe that people are basically good at heart, predators will present themselves as men of honor and virtue…. But because he is a chameleon, he will listen closely to see if you also need a mentor, an adviser on some topic, a spiritual leader, or a male friend.

During counseling sessions I’ve had with men who are emotional predators, some have verbalized their targets. One said,

“I look for naive women. I like a certain vulnerability to her - that she trusts humanity without asking for proof. Maybe she’s been hurt a lot so there’s a “woundedness” to her. That vulnerability makes them believe you, because they need to believe you.”

Another said,

“I like the women who have been pounded down by men and those with childhoods that weren’t so good. They are particularly easy.”

It is important to understand that each predator has developed his own unique style. He has a “type” or two of women he prefers because with those types he has mastered the approach, the dating, and the ‘end.’ He doesn’t have to think very hard if he just uses the profile he’s had success with. One predator may prefer recently divorced or divorcing women because he succeeds at playing that angle with them.

… these guys can show a woman they definitely “get it.” They show you all the attention that the jerks you’ve been with haven’t. They say all the right lines that the men in your past could never verbalize. They are brilliant and insightful about what you need. They seem to know exactly every pain you have suffered.

With more skill than a carnival psychic, the emotional predator can hone in on your every need, sympathize with you in such a way so that you believe you’ve met your long lost soulmate and sweep you off your feet… He’s… more insightful than a therapist. He “knows” you the way no one else ever has.

This guy moves FAST. He’s got to - before you figure out what his M.O. is. Every woman should be suspect of the relationships that seem to be traveling in the fast lane on the super-highway of emotional intimacy. A predator needs to keep you so euphoric with compliments and lover’s talk that you aren’t listening, or paying attention. He is dripping with sincerity and clinging to every word you say. A predator wants to consummate the relationship with you right away, because time is against him.

To move the relationship along and be indispensable to you, he must act helpful, comforting and generous. Since he is working against the clock, he must find out what you need and then meet that need.

While listening to you and observing you, he will glean a lot of information about your hobbies, interests, spiritual beliefs and value systems. He is the original identity thief. He uncovers and uses for his own purposes everything he can about what makes you - YOU. He will find you amazing, beautiful, bright and talented - like no one he has EVER met before. He will align how he portrays himself with your needs and also your interests until you feel like you are looking at your twin.

Finally, another way predators succeed with women is by preying on their compassion. Once a woman is in the grip of a predator, anything can happen.

[Once a woman sees their stories] for the crock they are and bust them for their fake opinions with them, they will try and turn the table and make it seem it was the woman who had emotional problems!

(the original was written in the male gender; your predator may be female)

Net Ensnares Cheaters in Tangled Web

By David Koeppel

Adultery was once kept a secret. Not online.

The Internet dating (search) craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages, thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as "not so happily married," "married but that shouldn't matter" or even the seemingly archaic, "married but we swing."

Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married - and recent research by the University of Florida (search) reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.

The Internet became an easy escape for "Beth," a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who's also married -- but now sneaking around with Beth.

"We see each other once or twice a week," she says. "We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal."

She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. "There was no warmth or any physical affection," she says glumly.

She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn't want a divorce because of their 10-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad online.

"I'm not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else's," she said. "I just wanted to find someone special I could click with."

Other women interviewed say they've been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give -- but aren't ready to leave.

"I guess the sex just isn't what it used to be when we first met," says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker who's listed her profile online. "I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It's addicting."

Addiction is something that Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center, understands all too well. She has treated many married and unmarried patients who've gotten caught up in Internet lust.

"Its power is almost trance-inducing," she says. "You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It's like crack cocaine to sex addicts."

(IT IS TRANCE INDUCING - STAY AWAY!!!!!!)

Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he's been "swinging" for 23 years.

Before going online, he would post ads in "swinger magazines," sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting.

Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads on the Internet.

"While I'm open to a relationship, I'd prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis," he says.

Alfred's new online ads generally attract several interested women ("I'm a seller in a buyer's market," he says proudly).

He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don't mind that he's already spoken for.

Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there's likely to be someone at home who's getting hurt.

John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that -- his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.

The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com -- a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who've been hurt by them.

"Chatting is OK, cheating is not," says LaSage.

"People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs."

If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, "Bring the issue out into the open," he says.

"Look out for the warning signs" -- like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.

Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the relationships expert for online dating site Perfectmatch.com, says married men are much more likely to say they're just looking for sex than married women, but ultimately the search is about loneliness.

"... It's about gratification," she said. "They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately."

But not every married person who's gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.

Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.

But that may be just the ticket for 34-year-old "Rockerdude" of New York City, who advertises online that he's hoping to make sweet music with men, women -- and anything in between.

"Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship," he writes.

With additional reporting by Michael Shashoua

Quotes from Cheaters to their Partners/Spouses

'SILLY' THINGS ONLINE CHEATERS SAY!!

Cheaters come up with the wildest stories, especially if they get caught unexpectedly!

What my ex said when I questioned her late nights on the net:
"I am writing a romance novel"

My cheater said:
"you are so suspicious, you need help because its all in your head"

My cheater said:
"Oh, she is just like a sister to me, that's all"

My cheater said:
"I wouldn't do that to you. I swear"

I 'swear' he said:
"Do you believe me or your own eyes?"

My cheater said:
"we were talking about his girlfriend's problems"

My cheater said:
"You are trying to control me and it is not going to be that way"

My cheater said:
"I don't know why I gave her my phone number"

My cheater said:
"It's a fatal attraction"

What my husband said when I called his cell phone and it clicked on while he was having sex with another woman:
"it wasn't me! The cell phones must have been crossed with someone else's"

After I finally decided to remotely tap into my wife's computer after months of her staying up all night in internet chat rooms to find love messages between her and another man. My cheater said:
"Why were you spying on me?"

My cheater said:
"I don't start the conversations on the IM, I only respond after she starts talking first"

My cheater said:
"yes I have a girlfriend, but we don't have sex, I discuss with her the problems we are having in our marriage"

My cheater said:
"I didn't think you loved me"

This was after my fiance went out with a "friend" and had sex with her. What a fiance, huh? My cheater said:
"Nothing is happening, we are just friends, and enjoy each others company. You are really blowing this out of proportion"

My cheater said:
"why were you checking my phone anyway?"

my cheater said:
"I have a present for you and if you don't go away I won't give it to you"

My cheater said:
"I'm going on another business trip"

My cheater said:
"I wasn't sending the emails to her. I was sending them to her computer"

My cheater said:
"We are just buddies and nothing else!"

My cheater said:
"I was just curious"

My cheater said:
"If you were a better wife and a better lover, i would not have to turn to other married women. If you would join me in the swinger's lifestyle, it would not be considered cheating since you would be right there with me."

My cheater said:
"I don't wear my wedding ring because I am allergic to it."

My cheater said:
"I just wanted to have a friend of my own"

My cheater said:
"I was peer pressured into it"

My cheater said:
"I thought about you the whole time it was happening"

My cheater said:
"I could never bring myself to cheat on you. That girl that called claiming we had sex was a basket case, a nutjob. Ask anyone"
(How many times have we heard? "she's a stalker; she's a scorned woman; she's crazy; she's lying; she's stalking/ obsessed with me; she's mentally ill... " BALONEY! Don't buy it!)

My cheater said:
"are YOU cheating?"

My cheater said:
"I can't say no to him"

My cheater said:
"It's only harmless flirting... it's not like I was ever going to meet her"

My cheater said:
"With every one of them, I fantasized it was you"

My cheater said:
"She's a good friend of my mother"

My cheater said:
"I missed you and she looked like you"

My cheater said:
"Oh that number on my cellphone is just a side job."

My cheater said:
"I couldn't get a signal on my cell phone to call you and tell you that I was too tired to drive 1 1/2hrs to our home"

My cheater said:
"If I wanted to cheat, I wouldn't be cheating with a married woman"

(LOL - cyberpaths love to PICK ON ABUSED, MARRIED, DIVORCED, OVERLY TRUSTING, NAIVE or DISABLED women! )

My cheater said:
"The only reason i was talking to her was about us"

what my husband told me when I found a strange number on the caller Id box:
"I am dealing with a bookie for gambling and didn't want you to find out"

My cheater said:
"I would never do that to you, i love you babe, you should trust me"

Right up until I handed him the phone with her on the other end. My cheater said:
"I can't break up with her instead of you because you can handle it better"

My cheater said:
"I'm just giving you the time and the space that you need"

One cheater said:

"She's been obsessed with me since we worked together (went to college, high school, etc... together) and I am trying to let her down easy."

NEW!
"I swear, I was ONLY looking at this web site because a buddy of mine is the one who DESIGNED the web site, and he wanted my opinion. Honest honey I would never look at another woman! I was just trying to help my buddy and give him my opinion!"

"...until I read your site, I did not know what Ashley Madison was but it was a recurring charge on our credit card for several years, I forget what he told me it was, but he sure didn't tell me the truth!"

Another cheater said:

"Its all just a game. She knew it when we started. Really just playing around, nothing serious."

(Dunetz/ Yidwithlid., Jacoby, Capers and Beckstead have tried this "just a game" explanation too! It's bull - did their targets KNOW it was a game? Probably not!

Hey Beckstead and Dunetz/ Yidwithlid:

Did you TELL your victims it was a game upfront, or is it convenient to say this now that you're busted? Or were you REALLY saying how much you loved and cared for these women to get free sex? And did you TELL THEM it was just about sex for you? (Our guess?: NO!!)

My cheater said:
"I am just needy. They were only about sex for me. I swear."

One cheater said:

"She stalked me on the internet, when I found out how fat & ugly she was I told her it was off. I would never cheat on you, sweetie"

One cheater said:
"It was all PLANTED!! These women who are obsessed with me planted those online sex ads and the online dating ads!"

Of course there's the outright:

"that never happened,"

"I never said that,"

"he/she is lying/making it up/planted it all"

And the indignant: "I will sue them/ you/ her!"

For a great site with more CLICK HERE

The 'E-lationship'

(Sounds like Dan Jacoby, Doug Beckstead, Jeff Dunetz, Glen Capers and Brad Dorsky! using decent women like free cyberwhores, and lying about it! - EOPC)

These suitors aren't interested in a real-life hookup, just the virtual kind
By Diane Mapes

When it comes to online dating, we’ve come to expect deception, the posting of decades-old pictures and blatant lies about marital status, height, hair (or lack thereof). We’ve learned to deal with people who dematerialize after a few days or weeks of steady contact. “It’s the online equivalent of ‘going out for cigarettes,’ ” says one seasoned single.

Now, there’s a new online annoyance — the person who doesn’t want to meet but is all too happy to e-mail, text, tweet, IM, or scrawl on your Facebook wall indefinitely. They don’t want a real relationship as much as its virtual doppelganger.

Welcome to the world of the “elationship.”

“I’ve been involved in five or six of these,” says Rich Giorgi, a 48-year-old tech writer from Carrboro, N.C., who in recent months found a “peach” of a girlfriend and left the online scene. “One woman was always popping up on chat programs — ‘What are you doing? Where you have been?’ This went on for a month and then I proposed we meet. But she was always busy. So I called her on it and? she said, ‘I’m getting what I need out of this. There’s no need to go any further.’ So I cut it off. I didn’t have the time to waste.”

Harem scarem
Why would someone spend all that time communicating with a person they never planned to meet? Giorgi says he thinks some just like to collect “cyber-harems.”

“I have a friend who’s on a dating site and I can see that a lot of the people from the site have started following her on Facebook,” he says. “She has 12 to 15 guys all commenting on her posts and looking to get with her but she’s only interested in the attention. She’s told me plainly that she’s not interested in meeting anybody, she just wants to feel like people want her every now and then.”

Jennifer Worick, author of “The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex,” says people do have different agendas when it comes to dating.

“For me, the end goal is to be in a loving relationship with someone,” she says. “But for others, the end goal might be that they’re passing time, preventing boredom or just collecting men and women.”

Deception — people pretending to be something they’re not (whether it’s single or a certain gender) — can be another reason relationships stay in the virtual realm, says Patricia Wallace, psychologist and senior director of information technology at Johns Hopkins University Center for Talented Youth in Maryland.

Another big factor: fear.

“There’s the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of making a fool of yourself,” she says. “An online relationship is perceived as being lower risk as compared to meeting in person. When you pick up the phone or meet in person, you have a lot less control over your message and your impression as compared to a Facebook wall post or an IM where you can rewrite and think about what you want to say.”

Having more control means having the ability to create a better version of you, she says, which can then be marketed to a better version of someone else.

“A woman might feel really smart and attractive when she’s online because she comes up with a lot of witty things to say, she controls the pictures that she sends and she meets a man who does the exact same thing,” says Wallace, author of “The Psychology of the Internet.” “They can have a magical interaction — a meeting of the minds, sort of — whereas meeting in person would just spoil it. He stutters; she burps.”

Long-term elationships
Incredibly, some virtual relationships last as long as the real thing.

In 2007, Elaine LaPersonerie, a 33-year-old PR maven from Manhattan, answered a Craigslist ad that kicked off an intense year-long elationship.

“At first, he made all kinds of excuses for not meeting,” she says. “The first date it was the stomach flu and then it was everything from a missed flight to a last-minute meeting to his uncle dying to getting lost to falling asleep.”

LaPersonerie says she knew something was hinky within three weeks, but became intrigued — both with the guy (there was a definite click when they talked on the phone) and with his elusive nature.

“We only corresponded via phone or IM or whatever, but he really knew who I was,” she says. “He got under my skin even though I knew something was wrong. I wanted to figure it out.”

World-class liar
What she eventually figured out was that her online admirer was a world-class liar. Although he told her he lived in New York City and would often reference weather or traffic problems as excuses why he couldn’t connect (“He’d call and say, ‘It’s raining so bad, I can’t get a taxi, things that were relevant to where I was”), he actually lived in London. LaPersonerie also discovered that an “ex-fiance” he frequently mentioned was actually another online girlfriend who, just like her, had never laid eyes on the guy.

After 12 months of e-mails, excuses, lies and late-night phone calls (all on his dime), she finally pulled the plug.

“I confronted him and he admitted he’d lied,” she says. “He said he’d put his ad up on Craigslist as kind of a spoof — he wanted to see what it was about — and never thought anything would come of it. Then he started developing real feelings for me but had spun the web of lies so big, he couldn’t get out of it. But who knows what was going on.”

LaPersonerie says she still hasn’t decided if the guy is a pathological liar or “a regular person that had a bet with a friend,” but there’s no doubt she’s come to appreciate the power of a virtual relationship.

“I’m an attractive, successful woman from a good family with great values and amazing friends,” she says. “I definitely fit into a demographic of someone you would never think could fall victim to this. But I did. And it was easy. With online dating and e-mails and texting, you can take things to a point where you still feel like you are ‘dating’ and getting attention without having to deal with all the rest. In some cases, that fantasy relationship can exist for a long time.”

The power of a pen pal
Even Worick admits she’s had online encounters that have played out like mini-relationships: a bit of flirtation, followed by some miscommunication, followed by a spat, followed by a split.

“With one guy I ‘met’ on Match.com, it was like we were playing out the whole beginning, middle and end of a relationship via text when we’d never even talked on the phone,” she says. “First he e-mails, then he begins texting all day. Then he’s guilting me out for not being available when he calls. Then I don’t hear from him for a week. Then he’s back and wants to know if there’s anything new in my personal life. Then he starts playing the hurt puppy and sending passive-aggressive texts. I finally texted him and said, ‘I think we’re having a miscommunication.’ ”

According to psychologist Patricia Wallace, e-lationships can be troublesome because of the opportunity for deception and the false sense of intimacy (“You don’t have those salient cues that would tell you to put on the brakes so you’re more intimate than you should be.”)

But that doesn’t mean they’re all bad.

“I think for some people, that kind of relationship could be quite fulfilling in itself,” she says. “We’ve always had pen pals. In the old days, they could be very meaningful.”

The key is that both parties need to be on the same page.

“Some people are looking for a spouse, some people are just looking for novelty,” she says. “They never want to meet, or at least one of them doesn’t want to meet. There’s the rub. But it’s not unheard of in the face-to-face world that one party has a longer-time commitment in mind than the other.”

What can singles do to separate the relationship wheat from the casually-minded chaff? Worick points to boundaries.

“It’s good to set up guidelines,” she says. “I think people should cut to the chase and get together as soon as possible. I also think they should communicate their preferences. Say, ‘Look, I would prefer not to text during the day but I’m happy to talk on the phone or get together.’”

Finally, she suggests singles take a long look at their own dating agenda, which can shift over time.

“You have to assess what you want out of it, too,” she says, “There have been times in my life where I’m really busy or not feeling particularly good about myself and texting and IMing is a temporary Band-Aid. It’s not a long-lasting solution, but it can give you a little sparkle temporarily.”

Diane Mapes is a Seattle freelance writer

original article here

Cyberpaths -- Exposed & On The Attack

As we continue to do our exposes, readers - you will see a type of pathological who - once revealed for the narcissistic sociopathic type he/ she is - will just attack, attack, attack. Yours is not the first, nor will be the last of our cyberpaths who have done this EXACT SAME THING! - EOPC

~~~~~~~~~~



WHEN THEY ATTACK

by Kathy Krajco



(We have replaced the word narcissists with predators for clarity - EOPC)



Professionals often say that predators "overreact" to the merest unintended slights and that they fly into a rage for the slightest reason. But this view seems anthropomorphic to me. I suspect it comes from forgetting that the predator on your couch is a pathological liar.



The truth is that predators attack for no reason. In fact, they are prompted to attack by anti-reasons.



Of course the predator on your couch says he did it in self defense! He whines that the victim said or did something to slight him or anger his tender, tender feelings. Were you born yesterday? predator = pathological liar. So, why do you expect him to confess to you that he is a predator = one who attacks any vulnerable target of opportunity?



I would hate to admit how long it took me to discover this, but in my experience, what triggers a predator Attack is nothing but a vulnerable target of opportunity.



Test predators. Parade bait before them when the coast looks clear so that the narc thinks later it will just be his word against the victim's. Then watch what happens.



You can push his Attack button by having the victim be very vulnerable, like say by showing great affection for the predator and giving a heartfelt plea for some in return. (Rather like a man I knew who asked a predator to marry him and got eviscerated for it.)



How does the predator react to what should evoke his love and affection? With a savage attack, that's how. Rather like any wild predator when you ring the dinner bell for it by giving it a swipe at a defenseless creature's soft underbelly.



Except that natural predators must be hungry at the time.



On second thought, I guess predators have to be hungry, too. But they always are. For, they have the kind of hunger that increases the more you feed it.



So much for the theory that predators are just too touchy. They ain't touchy at all.



Test that too. Indeed, try to provoke a predator. You can't. Go ahead, try.

The only way to get yourself a raging predator is to tempt it with defenseless bait when it thinks no one is watching.

Now that you have your predator raging, do one more thing. Have the victim rise up rage right back it its face.



Guess what happens? Presto chango! Rage off!



Instead of a raging predator, you now have a poor little meek and gentle angel who wouldn't hurt a fly and is heartbroken at the victim being so nasty.



Welcome to The Twilight Zone. I call this miraculous phenomenon "The Transfiguration."



I am not exaggerating. You witness the instantaneous substitution of one persona for its very antithesis in the blink of an eye. You don't know whether to pinch yourself or start throwing holy water at it. Because an Academy Award winner couldn't do that that fast.



It stuns you and gives you the creeps. Indeed, one facial expression doesn't melt into the other: the whole mask changes at once.



I call a predator's faces "masks" because when you see this happen you know that's what they are. You know that what's on the face is a lie. It's the Big Chill.



A stunning revelation. The predator's very face is a lie about what is really going on in the darkness behind that mask.

from: When [Predators] Attack

~~~~~~~~~~

Some of our examples:



LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE CAUGHT MR. DUNETZ NOT ONCE - BUT TWICE - BEING A BULLY AND POSER!



ONE



TWO





Mr. Jacoby set up a website simply to threaten his victim and has been smearing her ever since. The website has since been removed.



btw, Mr. Capers? We are very aware of the threats you are issuing towards your numerous victims... and we're reporting them to authorities along with your multiple identities



~~~~~~~~~~~

Dark Soul as a Destroyer

By Sarah Strudwick

Psychopaths are known for their lack of fear, but at the same time they often have other associated personality disorders along side, such as malignant narcissism. They feel the need to have a constant fix of kind loving, empathic individuals that they can then slowly pull down to their own level. It’s a bit like the analogy I put in my book, Dark Souls, where they take a helpless spider and pull the legs off one by one—just to see what happens. Why do they do it? Because they can.

So why does the Dark Soul or psychopath feel the need to destroy their victims when the relationship is well and truly over?

Many targets complain that well after the relationship ends they are stalked by the psychopath, or they continue to bombard them with emails and spam. Sometimes they will try and befriend you on Facebook, or constantly monitor what you are doing by stalking you. Even when you have moved on with your life, recovering from financial hardship, emotional stress and so on, the psychopathic personality is not happy. With their own deep sense of self-hatred, they will often feel jealous, and may be vindictive by sending you viruses on your PC or other inconveniences. It’s their way of saying, “You think you have moved on, but I will be there in the background constantly monitoring you.”

It’s also their way of bringing you down to their disgustingly low level. On a conscious level, they know exactly what they are doing and want a reaction. They hope you will hate them as much as they hate themselves. Even if you have no evidence with them they want to continue contact, and being extremely narcissistic, it’s all about getting attention, any kind of attention. What better way to get your attention than, for example, to hack your computer or send you vile pictures on your computer? What better way for them to project their vile, angry, unowned thoughts and feelings back onto their victim, so that they do not have to own them?

Psychopaths are notorious for using sneaky underhanded tactics when it comes to playing dirty, whether it is getting the authorities or lawyers on their side, or other members of the family. They will always find a way to turn the tables back onto their victims and say they did nothing, creating crazymaking behaviour. If and when the victim finally has had enough and lashes back, the Dark Soul can then say, “See I told you she/he was crazy – look what she did!”

Because the psychopath is so sneaky, and makes sure to do everything in a way that you know they are doing it but they cannot be caught, it’s a fine line between being indifferent to them and enabling them. They end up feeling so omnipotent, they think they can actually get away with anything.

Those who have malignant narcissism and psychopathy, or sociopathic traits or both, do understand the concepts of the law and how they will only go so far. After all, it would an inconvenience for them to end up in prison.

To some degree, let them be the destroyer, but keep evidence along the way, so long as it’s not causing you physical or emotional harm.

However, when things get out of hand, let them know in no uncertain terms what evidence you have on them, because at the end of the day all they are doing is digging themselves an even bigger grave to put themselves in. Having said that, it’s not as if they need one, because they died a long time ago.

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Because psychopaths can’t relinquish power over anybody, they usually keep tabs on former girlfriends and periodically circle around them, like vultures, long after the relationships are dead. Even in the cases where they don’t maintain physical contact, they may still send you nasty emails thinly disguised as spam or other unwanted communication. (then denying they ever sent it with terms like "I never...")

This is why it’s so hard to get rid of a psychopath, long after you leave him. Because he’s egotistical and controlling, a psychopath can’t get dumped by his girlfriends and move on, the way any normal, self-respecting man would. In fact, to maintain dominance, he usually lies to others about past relationships as easily as he deceives them about current ones. He may falsely claim that he initiated breakups or portray his ex-girlfriends as disturbed. He will even set her up, sending emails or texts as her to make her appear the "crazy one."

The web of lies woven by the psychopath embraces everything and everyone in his life, past, present and future. And so the relationship cycle repeats itself, as the psychopath continually trolls for new partners, tires of current relationships, ends some of them, begins others, only to find his way back, like an unwanted boomerang, into his ex-girlfriends’ lives.

(while this article is written with females as victims; women CAN be psychopaths too)

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Remember, it is not you - it is them.