Showing posts with label con man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label con man. Show all posts

Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Core of the Cyberpath: THE SOCIOPATH


...being alone isn't always a tragedy... I've known more than a few people in my life who made being alone seem like a little bit of heaven -- and I'll bet that you have known a few too. Run of the mill jerks and liars, two-timing cheats, verbal or physical abusers, small time con artists and that most dangerous one of all...the charming sociopath.

Oh, you've never met one? I sincerely envy you that, but just between friends, and speaking as someone who has had the misfortune to meet and all too closely observe one, let me introduce/warn you. Sociopaths are the most accomplished liar you've ever met in your life. In fact, they lie so well, that even when every instinct within you tells you they are lying through their teeth, you still can't quite make yourself accept the truth about them. They are masters of the old adage that says...if you want to get away with a lie make it such a big one that your audience/victims will believe it is true, simply because they cannot bring themselves to believe that anyone would actually tell such an outrageous lie...and think you were stupid enough to believe it! But their arrogance doesn't stop there, oh no, they lie, they cheat, they steal and they mercilessly use the very people who try to love them, or help them and they never...ever feel any guilt or remorse no matter who they hurt...unless of course it is themselves who are hurt.

Did I mention that they have no shame,
an accomplished sociopath if caught outright, or even inconvenienced by any degree of disbelief will try to overbearingly dominate the situation with words, and if that doesn't work they will cry and whine and turn into a pitiful sniveling excuse for a human pleading for your mercy, with a lot of psycho-babble excuses for why it isn't their fault.

So now that I've introduced you to the lowest form of humanity, and possibly scared you half to death, or worse yet...made you snap your fingers and say, "I'll be darned that's what HE is--a freaking sociopath!" So now that I've done this to you, now what do I intend to do about it? Well I'll tell you. I intend to give you a few useful hints about things to watch out for and how to protect yourself and your family.

Sociopaths are likely to be rootless wanderers with nothing much to show for their lives. Why? For the simple reason that they are parasites. Therefore, sooner or later they always wear out their welcome and have to skip town or at the very least find a new set of victims. Of course, they always have some grandiose tale to explain their lack of home, family, possessions.... And believe me, it will be a truly convoluted tale -- starring them of course -- as the sympathetic, innocent victim of some horrible other person's treachery, deceit, thievery, evil etc. combined with lots of bad fortune and plenty of convenient reasons why they don't have any proof and why you can't talk to anyone, anywhere who can confirm any of this. And by the way, they probably won't be able to hold a "real job", because they have been in some sort of tragically disabling accident, or have an old war wound that prevents working! Let me state here for the record, I mean absolutely no offense to any veterans out there, because most sociopaths would be 4F'd in a heartbeat, so their war wounds and their war records are almost always going to be just another in a long line of lies! Anyway, whatever the excuse, even if they could find and hold a job for more than a few days, no self-respecting sociopath will work for a living ...they much prefer -- and in fact live for -- the thrill of leeching off of others like parasitic scum.

So what do you do to protect yourself against such a monster. It's really quite easy. Take nothing for granted. If you meet someone, whether it is on the internet, or at your local college campus, or at a bar or a movie or at a political rally or even in church and you decide you like them and want to get to know them better, use a reasonable amount of caution and always make sure that someone knows where you are, and who you are going to meet at all times. Don't give out too much information about yourself, and absolutely don't bring them home to meet the family until you "know" enough solid "facts" about them to trust that they are on the level and have a verifiable history. Try not to be paranoid, everyone has little secrets, and one little area that doesn't seem quite right is probably ok, but more than one should start to worry you, and if you have any real suspicions at all, either turn, walk away and never look back or visit a Web Detective Service and learn to protect yourself by investigating anyone, anywhere before it is too late! Find the facts that others want to hide. You can find missing people, including so-called long-lost relatives, court records, criminal records, vital records and more! Do it!

(thanks to OneOfSeven for this gem! - Fighter)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

THOUGHTS ON CYBERPATHS - FROM PROFESSIONALS & VICTIMS

Here on EOPC, we have quotes from victims of Cyberpaths and professionals dealing with Cyberpaths' victims as well as thoughts on the long term after-effects of their attacks. You may have read them elsewhere, you may not. We think they're important and powerful enough to include here so you can read them in their entirety - EOPC

FROM VICTIMS:
"The potential for damage is overwhelming. Overnight, many lives are turned inside out when it has been revealed that the person that you gave your love and your complete trust to has betrayed you. The emotional and financial scars are deep" --- Target of Julia-Bish-Judah-Hunt-McGovern

"I will gain strength, become a stronger and much wiser person from this devastating experience, but it will never be over. It will be with me for the remainder of my days on Earth. I will forever be changed by this most ultimate & intimate of betrayals... They throw us away like an old pair of shoes; and like the predators they are, they quickly move on to their next victim. The magnitude of the lies cannot be imagined by anyone unless you have lived this nightmare"-- Wife #7 of Ed Hicks

"Everything was a lie. [He] took away my ability to trust, and he ruined me financially"- Wife #6 of Ed Hicks

"I will never trust anyone else after this. My heart is closed now and I think I don't want to get to know ANYONE else... I feel so used! A million showers won't clean my body from this snake's touch!" -- Target#1 of Nathan E.B. Thomas, Jr.

"I prayed I was just overly sensitive because of my years of being in one abusive relationship after another. Even now I find it difficult to fathom how you can give so much of yourself to a person and have them so totally wipe it all away as if it never happened with no remorse & go on their merry way leaving a path of destruction & half-truths behind them.
I'd known him over 25 years. I thought I could trust him. I did what I did from the heart and with genuine, deep emotion - and he knew it! Now he says it was 'all a game' - that's first I have heard it was a GAME!
Realizing someone you have known for so long, spent so much time talking with, did it ALL just to USE you is horrifying. The grief is no ordinary grief. After distancing himself from me, he can now tell stories, all of which are twisted, with the spin to make HIM look the victim. At least I have hard evidence that he's lying.
It's nothing less than soul murder." --Target #1 of Jeff Dunetz/ YidwithLid

"...for the first time in our relationship, I began to cry. I realized he was a TOTAL fraud. He said he "was looking for the right girl" in his dating profile. I thought, "how could he say that when he told me I was right for him?" I had changed myself at his direction and was at the point of exhaustion... I was horrified by the fact he used the SAME EXACT language in the profile as he did online! ...he threw me away, all the while BLAMING ME for not being "good enough." How could this person call himself moral ... when he was a complete liar.
-- Target of Brad Dorsky


"[He] included EVERYTHING that was missing from my life, as if he could read my thoughts and make my wishes come true. I can see now he really studied me well and became "my perfect mirror." He knew exactly what to say to make me feel good; especially after being in an abusive marriage for so long with no attention from my husband. This man "love bombed" me and I didn't even know what hit me!" -- Target of Keith Clive

"Being lied to is a hurtful thing. Being conned by someone you love is a devastating thing. You find that the facade .... was lies on his part; and how empty & meaningless [you were to him]. It hits below the belt and it scars you emotionally, financially... You become a laughingstock...
Some say I am obsessed with this man, but in reality, I am obsessed with getting justice done. There can be no closure on this until that happens. Even then I will never trust anyone whole heartedly with my love, my life or my money again. ...all I wanted was to be loved, and he turned that into a crime that suited his needs."
-- Target of William Michael Barber


"While doubters may still find it dubious that on-line romance could ever take the place of a real relationship, the husbands & wives of Net-addicts are discovering that cybersex can pose a direct threat to their marriages. "...We went through it and a little while later [my cybersex partner]messaged me and said, 'If I message you again & ask you if we had sex, say no, OK?' I said, 'Sure, why?' She said her husband is very jealous and comes on-line when she's on, to make sure she isn't netsexxing."

....Pearl's husband was not as lucky. "My ex-husband, Lee, would vanish into the basement every night for hours, saying he had brought home a lot of paperwork from the office. We missed a lot of parties and family events, but I never questioned it. I felt sorry for the poor guy, working so hard to give me and the kids some extras. Then, one day when I was cleaning out the room, I found a sheet of paper under the desk with a love-letter printed on it." Pearl was even more traumatized when she turned on his PC and found a sub-directory filled with HUNDREDS of love-letters from different women, addressing her husband as "Prince Charming." "The Prince lost his castle," Pearl says sourly. "I changed the locks on him and filed for divorce."

Carl Salisbury, an attorney at Killian & Salisbury in East Hanover, NJ, who specializes in electronic law, notes that cybersex-related suits are showing up increasingly in American courts. "There was a case in Maryland where a MacDonald's franchise had an email system," says Salisbury. "One of their employees was having an email affair with another employee, who was married. The manager screened their email and showed it to the married guy's wife!" When the married man sued his manager and MacDonald's for breach of privacy, the courts ruled that the manager was within his rights to view employee email.

And, as the cyber-population booms ...we can expect to see more irate spouses filing for divorce with on-line infidelity as grounds. "It's inevitable that we're going to be seeing more & more divorce cases as a result of cybersex," says Salisbury. "There's such an enormous amount--and variety--of activity going on the Net and the Web, and the variety increases literally every day."
-- HOW TO HAVE CYBERSEX - Gloria G. Brame


"It's a trap. Your imagination fills in the blanks with exactly what you want. You don't learn more with more rounds of writing. All you do is invest more emotional energy, for which there is no payoff." -- Joe Teig, New York, NY


FROM PROFESSIONALS:

"We now understand that women & men are not "crazy" or "defective" when, in response to trauma, they develop PTSD symptoms, including insomnia, flashbacks, phobias, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, dissociation, a numbed toughness, amnesia, shame, guilt, self-loathing, self-mutilation and social withdrawal.
- Phyllis Chesler, MD


"We hear about Internet predators for children, I don't think we're hearing very much about Internet predators for middle age women at all. And that bothers me," -- SANDRA PHIPPS, FightBigamy

"When [] predators are found using the Internet a common response of the Internet industry and government officials is to blame someone else, or say that nothing can be done to stop it." -- Donna M. Hughes, PhD; Univ. of Rhode Island

"We must do whatever it takes to minimize or eliminate [the predator's] access to vulnerable prey as targets of opportunity. Period. For ever. Indeed, these people will thank us for it. Consider how many [cyberpaths] deliberately get themselves caught just to stop themselves." - What Makes Narcissists Tick

"[APOLOGIES] are not some pious, phoney-baloney, half-hearted rendition of what you think they want to hear. Nor is it a watered-down, politically correct 'confession' that you think will buy you closure at the expense of truth... [admit] what you are doing to screw up your life. This also means admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you're doing, however sick or subtle those payoffs are. - Dr. Phil McGraw"

"[Online Predators] count on our shame to keep their secrets. They know that exposing them means exposing our own failings. That's what makes them so powerful. They manipulate us into these situations then sit back & watch us squirm between protecting ourselves or blowing the whistle. The [victim often] is still emotionally connected to the [Cyberpath], thus protecting them and accusing them alternatively. Many [victim]s will not name their [cyberpath]s to counsellors or other helpers, thus protecting their identity. The hook, which the [Cyberpath] has implanted in their heart, is hard to remove. If you want something to cry about, cry for the [Cyberpath]'s new victim(s), the innocent, unmarked, un-inoculated prey. These victims are carefully chosen..."
- Mary Ann Borg Cunen


"Internet dating is populated, to a large degree, by criminals and married people. Estimates have gone up to 30% that online daters are married. That represents an emotional risk to our membership base. I want to eliminate those people [from] the site." - Herb Vest, CEO of True.com

"How do we go from fantasy to reality? Lots of people have private fantasies that give them some sort of pleasure and maybe even trouble them, but they don't act on them. I think one of the contributory facts-- it's not the only one-- is the insidious nature of the internet itself. I think there are three things that are problematic about the Internet, or at least three things. One is the easy accessibility. You don't, in the beginning at least, have to go anywhere. You just push a button that's sitting there next to you.

Secondly, there's this illusion of anonymity, which can be very disinhibiting. You feel as though you're there in the privacy of your bedroom. It's not that private, but you don't sense that at the time. And thirdly, there is a distortion of reality and fantasy to some extent. That people feel as though they're playing a game. They're making up who they are. They wonder if someone else is giving a false persona. They begin to do things that in the light of day they might never have done and then, ultimately and sadly, sometimes cross a line that they might not otherwise have crossed. Where do they get the message [the internet] is where you can go? We've created a "we versus they" mentality. And I understand that what they do is offensive. It's aggravating. It makes me angry. But we're not going to solve the problem by pushing it further underground."
- Dr. Fred Berlin, Psychiatrist, Johns Hopkins University on "DATELINE NBC"


"I love words. I believe in the power of words. I believe that if truthful words are spoken, written, shared, they will be heard, and they will be answered. Not with a [cyberpath]. You get sucker-punched in trying to explain something. There is no response to what is said. Words are deflected, twisted, questions answered with questions, non sequitors abound." - NarcissisticAbuse.com

"This is the classic emotional rape scenario: the use of a higher emotion (such as love) to fulfill a hidden agenda... There can be no hidden agendas in real love. These features, even if identified in retrospect, can help victims understand what has happened to them, giving them a chance of real recovery. - Dr. Mike Fox, The Emotional Rape Syndrome

"Powerful and sneaky people use apologies as end runs around repentance. They betray a trust; and, when they have been found out, they say they are sorry for "mistakes in judgement"... They get by only because we have lost our sense of the difference between repentance for wrong and apologies for bungling... We should not let each other get away with it. A deep and unfair hurt is not a mere faux pas. We cannot put up with everything from everyone; some things are intolerable. When someone hurts us deeply and unfairly an apology will not do the job; it only trivializes a wrong that should not be trifled with."
-- - Lewis B. Smedes, "Forgive and Forget"


"The [exposed Cyberpath] on the other hand, cannot rest until they have blotted out a vaguely experienced [target] who dared to oppose them, [expose them], to disagree with them or to outshine them. [The Cyberpath] can never find rest because they can NEVER FULLY wipe out the evidence that has contradicted their conviction they are unique and perfect and handled things appropriately. This archaic rage goes on and on and on."
- Dr. Ernest Wolf
"

"Text-based relationships are very deceptive. People know only the good stuff, and none of the bad. The missing pieces are filled in based on hope, not on reality."- Dr. S. King; Pacific Graduate School of Psychology in Palo Alto, CA

"When there is a question of WHO is telling the truth? See who has to GAIN by lying or bending history. Usually the real truth teller has to expose a vulnerable part of themselves, which takes courage and honesty." - Law Professor, Fordham University


FINAL THOUGHTS

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
-- Voltaire


"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Married Con Man Uses PlentyofFish for Affair


By Patricia Kane

(U.K.) As Victoria Fraenzel logged on to the internet dating site for the first time, she was uncertain what response she would receive to her request for a man who would offer her ‘truth and honesty’. Yet within hours of keying her details into the popular website Plenty Of Fish, the 35-year-old was not disappointed with the response.

Darren Upton, a wealthy accountant in his late 30s, quickly got in touch and within days had charmed his way into her life and, soon after, her bed. They had an 18-month affair as he lavished expensive gifts on her, including a £3,000 Cartier watch, designer dresses by film-star favourite Amanda Wakeley and a Mercedes sports car.

Last week, however, Upton was finally exposed as a conman and jailed for six years for stealing hundreds of thousands of pounds from his clients so he could live a life of luxury.

Today Victoria tells how she foolishly fell for Upton’s lies, of the lifestyle they both enjoyed during their fling and her feelings of betrayal at discovering he was not single, as he had claimed, but married. His wife even had a daughter by him during their affair.

Victoria also reveals her shock at the extent of his fraud and of her anger at being labelled ‘greedy’ as the main beneficiary of his embezzled funds. She said: ‘I’ve been made out to be a terrible hussy who had thousands of pounds lavished on her by a married man. But I am not that sort of person. I’m not grasping or greedy. I didn’t ask him for anything. I just wanted to be with him. It was never about the money or the sex.’

Close to tears, she added: ‘After a series of bad relationships, I just wanted someone who wanted to give me a hug and love me. Darren appeared to be that man. I had finally found someone who seemed to genuinely care about me and made me feel special. He was kind and caring. That’s all I wanted – but it was all a lie.’

In total, the accountant cheated 33 clients by not passing to the taxman £500,000 they had paid him. On Thursday, at Leeds Crown Court, he admitted 15 fraud offences between January 2010 and June last year. He also asked for 23 similar offences to be taken into consideration.

Passing sentence, Judge Sally Cahill QC said the crimes were committed for ‘pure selfish greed’. She told him: ‘You were thoroughly dishonest and motivated by greed. This was a gross breach of trust, it was planned from the offset and fraudulent from the offset. I consider this to be professional offending at a high level.’

For Victoria, now 36, the last eight months since discovering the truth have been filled with remorse and self-reproach at being duped so easily. She thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with Upton, with plans to ‘retire’ to the Bahamas in October, where he claimed to have a beachside property.

‘He told me we would get married and we would be happy there together,’ said Victoria. ‘I had no idea he already had a wife and a daughter who had been born during our relationship. I was shocked beyond words when I finally discovered the truth. I’m still struggling to take in the extent of his lies. Nothing in his behaviour ever made me suspicious. I feel very stupid now but I believed everything he said.’

This was not Victoria’s first ‘bad experience’ with men. One of her former partners was Bryan Garvey – who had shared an £18.5 million National Lottery jackpot with four other winners before she met him. ‘My relationship with Bryan ended acrimoniously and it took nearly four years before I thought of looking for someone else,’ she said.

‘Once bitten, twice shy, so it was a really big decision for me to start dating again, and I thought an internet site might help me find someone more compatible. It was my first time on the site and on my posting, I remember saying I was looking for “truth, honesty… a real person”.

‘I cringe now looking back because hindsight is a wonderful thing. Darren got in touch within hours and after a couple of days of online chat, we agreed to meet in a pub in Preston. I remember him sending me a photograph at one point and I saw a wedding ring on his finger. When I said, “That looks like you’re married,” he replied that he’d been engaged but it was now over.’

Meeting him for the first time, however, was a shock for 6ft Victoria – who was a model in her teenage years. She explained: ‘I’m not unattractive and I’m used to dating good-looking men, so it was a bit of a shock to meet Darren in the flesh. My first impression was that he was ugly but his banter and charm made me see him in a different light and in the end I agreed to meet him again.’

They met a few days later, again in Preston, and this time, keen to impress, he picked her up in his Bentley with personalised number plates DJU. The court would hear that Upton had also already bought his wife, Tina, a Maserati. He had also splashed out on a £10,000 box at Leeds United Football Club and even spent £3,000 on a model railway.

Within a few dates, Upton would whisk Victoria off to his £500,000 penthouse flat in an upmarket area of Leeds, overlooking the River Aire and the city skyline. Exquisitely decorated with white leather sofas and state-of-the-art home-entertainment equipment, including a large plasma TV, Upton told her he lived there alone.

As the relationship became more intimate, Upton’s gifts became more lavish. He bought her a Cartier watch, as well as diamond earrings, and several thousands of pounds worth of designer clothes and accessories from Harvey Nichols, including a number of Mulberry handbags. In one shopping spree alone, he blew more than £2,000 on two dresses by Amanda Wakeley – a favourite of Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson and Kate Winslet.

From October 2010, he also began paying £800-a-month rent on another apartment in Salford, Greater Manchester, where Victoria would sometimes stay with him when she was not at her own home in nearby Altrincham. He gave her a bank card with a £500 limit to buy anything for the flat.

The couple ate at the best restaurants in Manchester, such as San Carlo and Rosso, favourites of Premier League footballers. They had been dating for about six months when a smitten Upton bought Victoria a black Mercedes sports car.

She said: ‘He had been talking about it for some time. I was gobsmacked at his generosity but if he said he would get me something, he always did. He had the car delivered to my home. I just jumped into the car in excitement and went for a drive. Now I know he was a conman but at that time I loved him more than ever.’ For Victoria it was not an entirely new lifestyle, having grown up with indulgent, wealthy parents on a sprawling farm near Blackburn.

At an early age, she had learned to ride horses and was a competitive showjumper before turning her back on the sport in her teens. When her father committed suicide eight years ago, he left Victoria independently wealthy and with no need to rely on Upton’s generosity. She said: ‘It really angers me that people might think I was desperate for him to spend all this money on me and that I was in the relationship to gain financially. I didn’t need him to buy me any of those things. It was nice, of course, and he wanted to do it. But if I’d known it was all paid for with stolen money, I would never have touched him or his gifts.’

As her relationship with Upton deepened, he began to be more careless, even taking her along to his offices – while his wife was off work nursing their baby daughter – for sex sessions during working hours.

She recalled: ‘The staff all knew who I was yet they never said a word to his wife. We had sex pretty much everywhere in his office: on the desk, on the floor, anywhere we could make it exciting. I was so happy to be with someone who was so caring and considerate. He never mentioned a wife and certainly not his new baby daughter. One of the memories that turns my stomach now is when we were out one night at dinner and he produced some photographs of a baby girl. He told me she was his new niece – but in fact it was his own daughter, who was just a few months old. Later he sent more photographs of her to my phone. That makes me really angry now to think that he would deny his own daughter as well as betraying his wife.’

Victoria would remain in ignorance until June last year when, unable to get through to Upton on his mobile phone one day, she rang his office.

‘I asked if Darren was there and a secretary said, “I’ll let you speak to his wife” and transferred the call. I felt numb with shock. Tina Upton [who was also the company secretary] answered and told me Darren was being questioned by police over financial irregularities. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was I having to take in that he had a wife I hadn’t known anything about, but he was in some sort of financial trouble. Then, without asking me outright if I was Darren’s mistress, Tina suddenly said that she’d suspected her husband was having an affair for some time but “had not pursued it”.

‘I felt distraught and hung up. Soon afterwards, I got a visit from police at the apartment in Manchester. They confirmed what I now knew – that Darren was married and had committed fraud. My Mercedes was taken away and the apartment lease terminated. It was a nightmare of unimaginable proportions and the man I had thought better than all the others who had gone before, turned out to be the biggest b*****d of the lot. How could he do this to a woman who had just given birth to his child? I would never have started seeing him if I had known the truth. It’s despicable.’

‘I felt very foolish. How could I have been so hoodwinked? Life had come crashing down and I found out this wonderful man who had made me feel so complete was already married with a child and had cheated those poor people out of hundreds of thousands of pounds. It was horrendous. Not only did I feel sorry for them but I felt very sorry for his wife. She’s the true victim. How could he do this to a woman who had just given birth to his child? I would never have started seeing him if I had known the truth. It’s despicable.’

The subsequent investigation discovered the total value of Upton’s fraud was £532,000. The firm had about 800 clients, mainly small computer companies, and instead of paying his clients’ corporation tax to the taxman, Upton diverted the cash into his own account. His clients even ended up having to pay penalties for unpaid tax when his crimes were exposed.

Upton had previously been investigated and forced to pay compensation for an unauthorised investment scheme but had continued to commit offences when he was on bail.

Victoria did not attend court last week, having now washed her hands of Upton. She said: ‘I couldn’t bear it. It has brought back too many painful memories. But I want people to know I am not to blame for any of this. I didn’t make him do any of it. He lied to me too.’

The prosecution said many of the clients he deceived felt betrayed as they regarded him as a friend. Other victims said their businesses had been left close to collapse and they had suffered ill health.

Upton’s defence team claimed he made a legitimate annual profit of £250,000, but began offending because he was forced to repay £840,000 to the Financial Services Authority in monthly instalments of £10,000 over the earlier investment scheme, which had not led to criminal charges. Not prepared to cut back on his lifestyle, he then started to misappropriate clients’ funds.

Victoria was never investigated by police, who accepted she had no knowledge of where the funds were coming from. Heartbroken by Upton’s deception, she has attempted to move on, and has thrown her energy into building up her own beauty business. She also had brief relationships with two international footballers since her relationship with Upton ended. Despite everything he has put her through, however, Victoria cannot bring herself to hate Upton.

She said: ‘He hasn’t done me any real harm – he was always a true gentleman to me and I will always remember that about him. He has been described as arrogant but I never saw that side of him. But what he did to his clients, as well as his wife and daughter, was unforgivable. He deserves to be in prison for what he did to them.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

DETECTING LIES

Are you always the last to know the truth about what's REALLY going on? Does it drive you crazy that you can't seem to pick up clues that someone might be lying, when all your friends seem to be able to spot them a mile away? Here are some telltale signs that what you're hearing might be something less than the whole truth.

(Excerpts applicable to internet communications):

Credibility
...make sure you really listen to their words. If they're explaining why they couldn't make your party, for example, see if the excuse sounds plausible. Some people, in the panic of being forced to lie, can trot out the most absurd story that is just impossible to believe. Really bad liars look skeptical as they tell their tall tale - even THEY don't look like they believe it.

Other people will fire off several excuses in a row, each one more outrageous than the last. Sometimes this list of excuses can even contradict each other, as the liar doesn't have time to think about whether his story works or not.

These are obvious examples of credibility problems, but the bottom line is to combine an awareness the messages this person is sending with his words. If they don't add up, you're entitled to question his truthfulness.


Gut instinct
But how do you deal with a more accomplished liar? What if he seems relaxed and open and has a flawless story? This kind of liar is more of a challenge, but you have a powerful secret weapon left: listen to your instincts.

Sometimes you are face to face with a professional con man or a compulsively unfaithful partner. Such people will be experienced and credible. They will have worked on controlling their reactions to the fear of getting caught out, and will seem natural and trustworthy at first glance. They've probably rehearsed their story, or used it successfully many times before without getting caught, so they are confident that you will believe it too.

In these situations, and often in spite of all the evidence before you, you will sometimes experience a strong feeling that something's not right. Even though logically the story might seem absolutely watertight, something inside you is sending you warning signals.

The biggest mistake you can ever make in such a situation is to ignore this gut feeling. You might not be able to put your finger on your suspicions - let alone explain them to anyone else - bdishout your best course of action is to just reserve judgement until you have more information. Don't accuse anyone, but don't put yourself at their mercy either. Wait until you're sure they're on the level.

Of course, not everyone deserves to be the object of automatic and chronic suspicion. But if you're not sure if someone is lying to you, pay attention. You will find that your ability to spot a lie at 50 paces becomes finely tuned and very reliable.

Written by Elizabeth Hardy
SOURCE

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Ricki Lake Almost Married Internet Con Man

Ricki Lake came close to marrying a man she met online only to find out he was a “user and liar.”

The TV host entered the world of Internet dating two years ago and became “infatuated” with a Brit she met on the web.

She tells Newsweek magazine, “When I was single two years ago, I decided I wanted a boyfriend for my birthday. My friends thought I was crazy for online dating.” Lake admits the relationship progressed very quickly and she even met with immigration lawyers so she could marry her lover.

She explains, “I found this narcissist online and started a whirlwind relationship where I was delusional. I was with a guy who was a total user and liar. He was English and considered himself a poet. He was more charismatic than physically beautiful but I became infatuated with him very quickly. I was out of my mind in some ways. I wanted it so badly I lost all clarity… I was going to marry him so he could get a green card. I even went to England with him and met his mother. He was such a bad guy. I was the only one who didn’t see the signs… I found out from my housekeeper that he would be nice to my children in front of my face but would cringe about them behind my back.”

Lake soon realized the romance was doomed and ended the relationship: “After six weeks, I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. I had lost all sense of who I was. I realized it was not working. As soon as I saw the light, it was over. I didn’t cry a tear about this guy. I dumped him.”

Lake, who has two children with ex-husband Rob Sussman, is now engaged to Christian Evans and admits it was her disastrous romance that helped her find her perfect man.

She adds, “I learned my own value. It’s not about having someone. It’s about having the right someone… Two years later, I’m with the most amazing man who is absolutely right for me. He’s selfless and kind, and he’s not looking to further his career through his lover. I’m with the right person. I had to go through a couple of dirt bags to get to him.”

original article found here


EVEN MORE REASONS TO STAY AWAY FROM ONLINE DATING!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

In Review: One of our Victims SPEAKS OUT!

`Bigamist' awaits return to Virginia

(from 2005) by APRIL BETHEA (www.charlotteobserver.com)

A Mecklenburg County judge on Thursday refused to lower the $25,000 bond for a Virginia man indicted on a felony bigamy charge and arrested in Charlotte after his case was featured on the "Dr. Phil" program.

That means Charles Edward Hicks, 61, who has waived extradition, likely will remain in a Mecklenburg County jail while Virginia authorities prepare a governor's warrant that would send him back to that state, said Elizabeth Trosch, an assistant public defender who represented Hicks in court on Thursday.

"We're done with him in North Carolina," Trosch said.

Hicks was indicted earlier this month in a Chesapeake, Va. courtroom on a felony charge of bigamy. He was arrested in Charlotte on Dec. 12 after a Shelby woman who had seen Hicks featured on the "Dr. Phil" show that morning recognized him as the boyfriend of her sister and called police.

Hicks reportedly has been married seven times and divorced five.


I am the victim of a real live con man, bigamist, and in my opinion as well as many others, that my ex bigamist husband Ed Hicks is a textbook psychopath (sociopath/antisocial). Guess what? I met Ed Hicks on the Internet. It is my belief that the Internet has given these emotional vampires a whole new supply. Online dating sites allow these predators to be anyone they want to be and they present themselves as charming and charismatic, but they are MASTER manipulators that exhibit psychopathic and narcissistic traits.

Like so many Internet Predators - Ed Hicks....
  • lied to me about every facet of his life;
  • chopped away at my self esteem;
  • disrespected my boundaries;
  • took away my ability to trust another man;
  • forced me to refinance my home to make up for the money he took from me;
  • manipulated me;
  • controlled me;
  • used, betrayed, deceived, and emotionally abused me.

Unless people who use these dating sites start doing full background checks on the people they meet there and start a relationship with, they may find themselves in a situation similar to mine... or worse. I was not too smart because I did not do a background check; however, since I knew he was a U.S. Federal Government employee with a Department of Defense "Secret" security clearance, I thought that signaled verifiable integrity. I was wrong.

I cannot fault the Internet for my nightmare, nor can I really fault the online personals sites, albeit - I believe these personal sites that you pay money to join have the responsibility to make the members of their online dating communities aware of these types of predators and con artists. I believe they have the responsibility to put this information in a prominent place on their sites, not buried somewhere within the recesses of their pages so their members rarely find it. I believe they should link to databases and websites that contain honest information about these predators.

I urge each of you to BEWARE. You are taking a BIG risk in putting an ad online; you are taking a big risk in meeting someone on the Internet. You must protect yourself and learn the signs, the red flags of the online predator. Read all you can about cyberpaths, internet predators, online predators... all terms mean the same and they attack ADULTS as well as children! Read all you can about psychopaths (sociopaths). Your own best defense is educating yourself.

I am so very lucky; I am not financially ruined -- I am scarred, yet I feel so blessed. It could have been worse for me; it really could have. Some of Ed Hicks' wives are still emotionally ruined whether through depression, PTSD or addiction; some are financially ruined and will be for a long time. One thing we all have in common after the tornado of havoc this MAN creates, we are all victims of emotional & psychological abuse from this vampire; some are also victims of his physical abuse.

I must add in defense of meeting people on the Internet, had it not been for the support of the caring survivors of other psychopaths that I met through the MSN Psychopaths forum (no longer in use), Barbara at Sanctuary for the Abused, Holly Desimone of Holly's Fight for Justice, Donna at Lovefraud.com, Shelly at You Are A Target and the group behind Exposing Online Predators and Cyberpaths, I would not be where I am today.

Yes, I met all of these wonderful, kind, compassionate people on the Internet! They have given me the courage, the strength, and the fortitude to become "a force to be reckoned with". Tennessee Williams character Blanche DuBois, said it beautifully in "A Streetcar Named Desire", "I have depended on the kindness of strangers". Yes, I met these "strangers" on the Internet; strangers who proved themselves and have become lifelong friends.


Put it in perspective, educate yourself, and beware of online predators, con men & women and other pathologicals who are lurking out there in cyberspace.

(Thank you for your courage & perspective!! Sandra now runs the site FIGHT BIGAMY to provide outreach and support to victims of bigamists. - EOPC)

Friday, July 8, 2011

UPDATED! JAMES BRIAN ELLINGTON - Arrested AGAIN!

Youre busted already Pictures, Images and Photos




ARRESTED AGAIN!




It appears that James Brian Ellington was arrested in June 2011 for


Intent to Sell Drugs and Criminal Possession of a Controlled Substance




According to the website below his next court appearance is July 27, 2011


http://iapps.court.state.ny.us/webcivil/ecourtsMain




It is the Third Tab Down: WEBCRIMS (Public User)


in the Right Margin




Contact the Assistant District Attorney in this case


if you have information regarding Ellington.




__________________



UPDATE - MARCH 2011:

He's out and Back in NYC posing as a 'golf pro.'

Please read the comments section on this post!




Ellington, listed as one of our cyberpath/ predators was arrested in New York City in May 2009.




Let's hope someone throws away the key on him. He was probably trying to con more money, sex and a free place to stay out of her.







A man was arrested for assaulting his female friend when she demanded he leave her Upper East Side apartment, police sources said yesterday.



James Ellington, 34, threw the 34-year-old woman to the floor of her apartment on East 91st Street near First Avenue at 12:30 a.m. Friday, cops said. He then allegedly grabbed her by the throat.



Police were called and arrested Ellington on assault charges.







FROM THIS NEWS SITE



CASE DETAILS



He's using a Legal Aid Attorney - let's just hope the courts read the internet postings about him and sentence him accordingly.



What goes around, Mr. Ellington...



OUR ORIGINAL POST ON ELLINGTON

UPDATED! JAMES BRIAN ELLINGTON - Arrested AGAIN!

Youre busted already Pictures, Images and Photos




ARRESTED AGAIN!




It appears that James Brian Ellington was arrested in June 2011 for


Intent to Sell Drugs and Criminal Possession of a Controlled Substance




According to the website below his next court appearance is July 27, 2011


http://iapps.court.state.ny.us/webcivil/ecourtsMain




It is the Third Tab Down: WEBCRIMS (Public User)


in the Right Margin




Contact the Assistant District Attorney in this case


if you have information regarding Ellington.




__________________



UPDATE - MARCH 2011:

He's out and Back in NYC posing as a 'golf pro.'

Please read the comments section on this post!




Ellington, listed as one of our cyberpath/ predators was arrested in New York City in May 2009.




Let's hope someone throws away the key on him. He was probably trying to con more money, sex and a free place to stay out of her.







A man was arrested for assaulting his female friend when she demanded he leave her Upper East Side apartment, police sources said yesterday.



James Ellington, 34, threw the 34-year-old woman to the floor of her apartment on East 91st Street near First Avenue at 12:30 a.m. Friday, cops said. He then allegedly grabbed her by the throat.



Police were called and arrested Ellington on assault charges.







FROM THIS NEWS SITE



CASE DETAILS



He's using a Legal Aid Attorney - let's just hope the courts read the internet postings about him and sentence him accordingly.



What goes around, Mr. Ellington...



OUR ORIGINAL POST ON ELLINGTON

Saturday, April 16, 2011

IN REVIEW: Cyber-Tantrums of Gary Stone

Seems Stone has learned a new word. Cyberpath. He calls his victim, her friends, EOPC and everyone else who sees his delusions for what they are a "Cyberpath." He's even trying to learn to use it in complete sentences. A real step forward for the pathological and or psychotic mind.

But it's all projection. Here's some of the narcissistic games Stone continues to try to play.
Tantrum Smiley (lil) Pictures, Images and Photos
Accusing you
The best form of defense is attack and the narcissist knows this all too well. It is one of his most widely used weapons, but he is so good at handling it that you could actually not even realise what it is.

We are accustomed to accusations being blatant, ugly assertions about us and these we recognize with ease. It is the more insidious accusations that catch us off guard and make us lose our balance. The narcissist will use either or both, depending on his end objective.

If he is trying to rattle you, hurt you, undermine you or shock you, there is a good chance that he will come out with a blatant accusation. "You lied", "you stole", "you're a pervert", etc.

The reason that these are so effective is that instead of hooking defensive anger, they hook defensive guilt. A far more powerful behavior in someone that you wish to control.

He has effectively achieved a few things here: made you feel guilty so that he can now manipulate you, changed the subject competely, shifted focus fully back onto himself and made you the lesser person.

When it comes to angry projection though, we are dealing with an out and out bully. He is deliberately attacking you with the objective of achieving control through fear and anger. There is also a good chance that what he is really doing is maneuvering you into a conflict situation. This person wants to have a go at you, but wants to be able to blame you for it afterwards. By provoking an argument, he can achieve that quite nicely.

By the time that the fight finally ends... the chances are that you will not even remember that it all began with you trying to defend yourself against a wrongful and probably very ugly accusation. Even if you did remember, you'd be so exhausted by the awful fight that ensued that you'd be loath to go back and address it to set the record straight.

He has now achieved a number of things. He has intimidated you, he has manipulated you, he has emotionally drained you, he has effectively used you as a verbal and perhaps even physical punch bag and, he has controlled you and further empowered himself.
~~~~~~~~~

Projecting
Closely linked to hurling accusations is the fine art of projecting.

Remember that you are their mirror. The things that they accuse you of are the things that apply to themselves.

While they think they are showing you how clever they are, they are in fact revealing themselves in a way that would make them cringe if they realised it. - For goodness sakes never tell them. They will furiously deny it and launch a massive attack against you. (For those of you who have been with EOPC for our 4 years online now, can we take bets as to how long Stone - like ALL our other Cyberpaths - will take to do this?? Or has he already??)

While he thinks he is stunning you with his amazingly astute insights into the human psyche, he is in fact giving you a very clear blueprint of himself.
~~~~~~~~

Shifting blame
A common bully tactic. It goes right along with changing the subject and making accusations. As long as he can somehow make you believe that it was all your fault, he's off the hook and you're either left wondering what just hit you or you're falling over yourself (and him) to make it up to him. If you go for the latter option, there is a good chance that he will milk it for all it's worth.

It's not always your fault though. It could anyone or anything at all as long as it's not him.

If nobody in the situation is to blame, then there is no way to resolve the problem. If you are to blame, then you must fix it. As for him, he is just an innocent victim and utterly blameless, therefore unable to do anything at all to find a solution, but totally justified in being a sod.

~~~~~~~~~

Being the Martyr
Narcissists almost make a career out of being victims. Ask any narcissist to tell you his story and you are bound to hear about the evil ex-wife, the ungrateful children, the idiotic and exploitative bosses, the crooked partner and every person who has been out to get them throughout their lives - which just about includes everyone they have ever encountered. Get involved with them and you will be the next addition to the list.

Then they get magnanimous and let you know how forgiving they are of all these people. Please realize that the so called forgiveness of a narcissist is a joke. Somewhere they have read or heard that forgiveness is a nice human quality and that it makes you look like a nice, rational person who actually gives a hoot about others.

All that counts to them is the results they can get if they know how to effectively use these things.


They know that, "I love you" turns on your wishful thinking, forgiving nature or your guilt and gets them back in the door. The know that "I'm sorry" gets them forgiven and gives them license to do it all again. They know that their numerous excuses take the focus off them and get them off the hook.

For as long as he can make you feel guilty & sorry for him, he has you where he wants you.

If you have any respect at all for either of you, you have to stop this game in its tracks.
~~~~~~~~~

Invoking fear and anxiety
Are you keeping secrets from your friends and family regarding your life with this person, perhaps even lying to them because you know that if he found out you had spoken about it there would be hell?

Do you feel as if you are walking on eggshells?

If you said yes to these, you are being ruled by fear. You are a victim of blatant abuse.

Ultimately this is one of their key strategies for maintaining control because as long as you are too scared to speak up, you have no voice. While you have no voice, you have no say. While you have no say, they can do exactly as they please and they can even legitimately claim that you never objected.

Silence is consent with any type of abuser and this is society's view as well. If you didn't object, it automatically means you gave consent. A prime example of this is with rape. When a woman claims rape, the first thing she will be asked is, "did you very clearly say no?" - the fact that there was a knife at her throat seems to not even feature in the equation. It's pretty sick, but this is a victim's reality.
~~~~~~~~~~

Putting you on the defensive
Nobody can do this as adeptly as a bully.

Accusations, real or imagined past offenses and personal criticism of you are their three favorite tools to this end. Anything to get you hopping and get the focus off themselves.

They also use questions that are skillfully worded and artfully delivered. They use facts that they distort ever so slightly so that they are hard to correct. They use skewed logic to turn a situation around from them being guilty to us being the cause.

Whichever specific tactic they use, the result is the same: we feel we have to explain, justify, correct and somehow prove our innocence and good intentions. Think for a moment how often you hear yourself saying, "but that's not what I meant", or "but I only meant ..."?

If they try to goad you, which is highly likely - they hate silent responses - revert to the techniques for setting boundaries. Refuse to engage and walk away.

ALL OF THE ABOVE & MORE AT THIS GREAT SITE

Let's Continue with his Victim's Story

Throughout 2007, Gary Stone adorned [Victim 1] with praise by email and text chat, and wrote her love songs and poetry. Gary Stone started making video clips of himself with his webcam and sending them to [Victim 1] before persuading [Victim 1] to upgrade from dial-up to broadband and buy herself a webcam so that they could do video calls on Skype. (Jacoby did this, Dunetz /Yidwithlid did this to all his victims, Dorsky did this... etc)

[Victim 1] missed the early clues to Gary Stone's litigiousness, although she spent hours every day sympathizing with his complaints about his lawsuit with his former employer. Gary Stone twisted the story into a huge conspiracy against him, and eventually found a lawyer willing to take his case (Stone is on his third lawyer). Gary Stone told [Victim 1] that he had been victimized and that she was his "sole source of comfort."

Gary Stone also showed early signs of jealousy and sarcastic flippancy, cutting off communication with her several times over the course of the year, wrongly accusing her of text chatting with other men online, or not showing enough respect to his family, making her defend herself, and then 'taking her back', each time making her feel that she must try harder to please him. (almost ALL our exposed Cyberpaths did this or similar)

After each of these staged 'break ups/reconciliations' Gary Stone would regain [Victim 1]'s sympathy using pathos, saying things like 'my life is like being dragged over broken glass without you', and begging her never to leave him. Gary Stone expected [Victim 1] to be available to him every minute of every day, to the point where she was barely able to find time to go grocery shopping, and he demanded photos of any family social occasions she attended, to ensure she was not 'seeing other men'.
(Remember Dorsky's victim saying he'd 'driven her to the point of exhaustion'?)
The excitement seeking in her that found the psychopath’s extraversion attractive is now hitting the wall and causing extreme emotional exhaustion...

The drama, the highs and lows, the daily power struggles, the weekly uncovering of some new lie and the constant fear of being abandoned are all now producing fatigue. A dichotomy exists between the excitement she still feels with him when the relationship is smooth (which is becoming less frequent) and the utter exhaustion that comes from being in a relationship with a psychopath.

The exhaustion can also come from not only the emotional roller coaster of life with a psychopath but also from the pacing of their lives together. Since many psychopaths need much less sleep than normal people, lack of sleep is likely to catch up with her. The psychopath consistently keeps her awake, demanding her company while he watches TV, picks fights, or wants marathon sex. Her diet, exercise, down-time, spiritual practices, and friendships all go by the wayside while her stress levels increase. The fast-pace contributes to a total deterioration in her health. Her physical exhaustion can greatly increase her emotional fatigability. She is now unable to hold her ground against the psychopath, and despite the exhaustion, she remains hypnotized, fixated on his extraverted, highly exciting persona.

The psychopath invested a lot in portraying himself to her as “wounded.” Many psychopaths played the “pity” trump card, using this card to attract and keep women based on sad stories. Psychopaths have no problem simultaneously playing both dominant and doomed personas. Likely, he acted as if the disclosure of his hidden pain was only to her. She was the only one who “understood him” or he felt “safe enough” to share his pain with. Even Ted Bundy feigned medical disorders to attract women to himself.

In emails, text chats and Skype calls, Gary Stone showed a penchant for escapism, role-playing the famous rock star and wannabe 'owner' of a fake music publishing company (Toylanders Press International - TPI), and kept saying he would set up a proper business with [Victim 1] one day.

[Victim 1] humored him and indulged him in what she thought was a little light-hearted, harmless fun, but it was actually cybersex. It was certainly a new experience for [Victim 1] and Gary Stone also claimed he'd never done it before, and there is no doubt that they were both willing participants. Although [Victim 1] is now highly embarrassed about it, it was only ever natural/ romantic/ loving scenarios, and nothing perverse was entered into. The kinkiest thing mentioned was Gary Stone's fetish for 'knees'.
(almost ALL our exposed Cyberpaths did this or similar)

As a Registered Nurse, Gary Stone also showed great interest in [Victim 1]'s rare post-natal condition, which requires her to take medication several times daily to replace the a hormone which manages stress. (some victims DEVELOP this condition after a relationship with a pathological!) Gary Stone got her to keep a daily chart of her blood pressure and medication, and asked her to email it to him so that he could monitor her condition, believing he could give her better advice than her own endocrinologist. Gary Stone also constantly reminded [Victim 1] that she owed her own life, and her child's life, to him because he recommended that she insist on obtaining antibiotics for strep throat.

Demanding reward

I love this one. He beats you every day, whether verbally or physically, hurts you, ignores you, undermines you and treats you like dirt, then on the odd day in between when he is nice to you, he expects you to grovel in gratitude.

Why should we reward someone for doing what they should have been doing in the first place? Why must every kind or decent act demand a reciprocal favour? Does this sound like a healthy relationship? I think not.

Decency should be the rule, not the exception. To reward the odd good behaviours of an abuser is to tell them that their abuse is an accepted norm and that decency is considered to be "going the extra mile".

This is utter garbage and totally twisted thinking.

This is right up there with the victim apologising to the abuser. "Oh honey, I am so sorry that I made you hit me. I'll really try to do better next time, be more understanding, less demanding and not provoke you".

I recall as a child how many times my dad would tell me that his hitting me hurt him more than it hurt me. What a load of crock. Now suddenly, on top of having to nurse my bruised behind and broken heart, I also had the guilty responsibility for his supposed pain.

Like I said. Twisted. It is a game that they love though and if you fall for it you have given away the last of your possible defences. Do not reward behaviours that should be normal and to which you are entitled on a daily basis.

Another of Gary Stone's pathological machinations is trying to increase his humane, solid-citizen, altruist fake-persona is by taking countless IQ tests, and he never misses an opportunity to boast that he has gained access to one high-IQ society. He now regularly reminds [Victim 1]'s ex-husband that he 'should not have f**ked with someone with an IQ'. (Most psychopaths test very very high in I.Q. -- but then they neglect to be tested for their stunning pathology, LOL! And we can't think of one who isn't VERY involved with a local charity, school, religious institution or community project simply to keep that "I'M A WONDERFUL PERSON" personna going!)

Gary Stone tried to visit [Victim 1] in June 2007, and he sent her money to cover the cost of the flight, which he got her to purchase for him. But Gary Stone was denied entry to the UK on arrival, and immediately deported to the US. [Victim 1] was devastated, but Gary Stone's typical pathological response was to blame her for 'tipping off' Immigration about HIS criminal record and his being fired for harassment/ insubordination.

Gary Stone told [Victim 1] that she should have invented a story and told Immigration that he was her cousin in order to get him into the country. Gary Stone also accused [Victim 1] of plotting to steal the monies he had insisted on sending her for his vacation spending money, even though she returned this to him immediately by personal check.


Love-bombed & hypnotized by Stone, [Victim 1] spent the rest of 2007 defending Gary Stone and trying unsuccessfully to clear his name. Then, during [Victim 1]'s week vacation together in August 2007 in the US, Gary Stone said he had given up on his plan to move to the UK because he needed to stay closer to his family, and persuaded [Victim 1] to give up her home to move to the US.

Although Gary Stone had paid some money towards [Victim 1]'s vacation air fares, she was now in debt because Gary Stone had not covered the cost of the whole vacation. [Victim 1]'s ex-husband was also about to give his consent to take their child to live in the US, but Gary Stone wrote her ex-husband his first offensive email, which gave him cause for concern about how Gary Stone might treat the child.

[Victim 1] therefore had to pay legal fees to draw up an agreement in order to obtain her ex-husband's formal consent to take their child to live in the US. [Victim 1] also paid for air fares for herself and her child to move to the US and had no option but to sell her only asset - her small home - in order to cover the costs of the move.


Gary Stone spent many hours online with [Victim 1] window-shopping for properties she could buy in the US with the proceeds from her property. Even before it was sold, Gary Stone got [Victim 1] to transfer money to his bank to cover the deposit and first month's rent on an apartment they jointly leased, plus some Christmas gifts for [Victim 1]'s child. [Victim 1] confided to Gary Stone that she felt very apprehensive about going through such an enormous upheaval in her life, but Gary Stone assured her that his priority would be to make her feel secure once she was with him.

[Victim 1] arrived in the US in December 2007, but Gary Stone kept making excuses for not getting divorced, spending his days with his wife and his nights with [Victim 1]. First he said he must wait until his wife signed a Separation Agreement, then he said he needed to find a job first, then he said he had to wait for 'tax reasons', then he said he wanted to wait until his wife came to terms with their relationship 'maybe after they had lived together for a year'. (almost ALL our exposed Cyberpaths did this or lied outright about their marriages or being divorced)

In the meantime, Gary Stone told [Victim 1] that his wife wanted to kill her, and made [Victim 1] terrified of being attacked by her. Gary Stone had sent [Victim 1] pictures of his wife and she is a formidable woman who never smiled in photos. (Who would -- married to this guy? Stone may have carefully selected photos to show her in that light. She's probably a very nice person, like all the wives of these guys. Who knows what HE was telling his wife; that [Victim 1] wanted to kill her?)

get help Pictures, Images and Photos
It should be noted that, although Gary Stone and [Victim 1] were intimate during their short time together, they always slept in separate bedrooms. [Victim 1] understood this was because Gary Stone was embarrassed about the cysts all over his body and other physical abnormalities. However, when she came to do their laundry, she discovered the real reason was that Gary Stone's apparently incurable flatulence/ bowel problem resulted in explosive diarrhea stains being sprayed all over his underwear and the bed linen.

Gary Stone kept calling [Victim 1] by the nickname 'Kinky', and showed her a huge gallery on his laptop, containing hundreds of screenshots of her cleavage which he had captured on Skype without her consent and carefully labelled with titles such as 'Ample', 'Very Ample', 'Voluptuous' etc. (Like Jacoby - Stone may have taken these screenshots WITHOUT her knowledge or consent)

Gary Stone gave [Victim 1] a camcorder and said he wanted to use it to record her as 'Kinky in the Kitchen'. Gary Stone also expected [Victim 1] to work for nothing for his non-existent company, while using her money to support him. When [Victim 1] said that the situation was unfair, especially to her child, he turned very hostile, accused [Victim 1] of cheating on him, and ordered her to go back to the UK in January 2008. (What they say GOES, or ELSE!)

[Victim 1] managed to make flight reservations, and departed with her child the very next day. Gary Stone made [Victim 1] pay all return air fares and settle the lease cancellation bill. (The only refund that Gary Stone paid to [Victim 1] was an unsolicited Paypal transfer of maybe 1/10th of what she spent in January 2007 for the bed she had bought him as a birthday gift in October 2007.)


[Victim 1] arrived back in the UK in January 2008 in shock, financially devastated, and homeless - all because of Gary Stone - but she was still trauma bonded to him, so she continued to exchange emails with Gary Stone for a few weeks.

Now openly living and siding with his wife, Gary Stone became increasingly abusive to [Victim 1] for withdrawing permission to publish her works, and for not complying with his demand to sign a 'mea culpa' to say that SHE was the cause of his dysfunctional family, his financial problems and his inability to find work for over a year. Gary Stone phoned [Victim 1] on her cell phone, and her sister-in-law heard his torrent of abuse before he shouted, 'You should go to f**king church!' and slammed down the phone.

[Victim 1] finally drew the line when Gary Stone's wife sent her an abusive email, and Gary Stone began copying his abusive emails to his friends and cousin. In February 2008 [Victim 1] sent her final email, making it clear to Gary Stone that she wanted him to stop harassing her and stay out of her life.


Instead of leaving her alone, knowing that stress could be life-threatening to [Victim 1], Gary Stone has recommended that she 'double her dose' of medicine before reading his emails.

Gary Stone has sent [Victim 1] over 2500 abusive emails, which have often arrived at a rate of up to 30 per day. In these emails, Gary Stone smears [Victim 1] as a 'c**t', 'bitch', 'cow', 'whore', 'witch', 'HPV infected Q**m', 'Serial Home-wrecker', etc. (Sounds like this Cyberpath's not-so-anonymous stuff)

Gary Stone has also sent [Victim 1] pornographic material which she NEVER asked for (in violation of U.S. Federal law), threatened her family, and cyberstalked her around the Internet, bad-mouthing her in (and getting himself banned from) countless blogs and forums (e.g. Betapet, Soundclick, Lulu, Tripod).

Gary Stone's phone calls to [Victim 1]'s cell phone were rejected and subsequently the cellphone had to be cancelled. Gary Stone has accused [Victim 1] of causing his brother's death (from kidney failure), and of causing Gary Stone's glaucoma.

Gary Stone may have allegedly committed Felony slander by sending emails alleging having contracted venereal diseases from [Victim 1] in his fanasty that he will be able to subpoena her medical records and use the court system to stalk & harrass her.


Gary Stone has written countless reports to third parties and government agencies wrongly accusing her of fraud, obstruction of justice and innumerable wild conspiracy theories as he dreams them up; challenging [Victim 1] to get a lawyer and defend herself. His assertion is that [Victim 1] 'does not need to have actually done anything wrong' for him to force others to investigate her. (Stone has that fantasy about a lot of people)

Gary Stone wants, craves and obsesses over his fantasized 'day in court' where he can be the center of attention. Gary Stone has actually sent scripts to [Victim 1] and her ex-husband detailing how he envisions himself cross-examining them in court.

It should be noted that [Victim 1] and her ex-husband have never been in any trouble with the law or engaged in frivolous ligitation and both are dedicated to the well-being of their child.
(Just like ALL our victims... decent, innocent and upstanding citizens taken advantage of by a pathological. )

Gary Stone has tried to alienate [Victim 1] from her family by claiming that her brother had phoned Gary Stone's wife and informed her that [Victim 1] had a history of targeting married men and breaking up families. This is an patent lie. The truth is that [Victim 1] had told Gary Stone early in their relationship that her first husband had been married with children, and that she had spent over 7 years with him before they divorced on the grounds of his unreasonable behavior (he was convicted of causing Actual Bodily Harm to [Victim 1]), and she has had no further contact with him. (almost ALL our married Cyberpaths make these SAME EXACT CLAIMS or TWIST what someone tells them)

[Victim 1] has never 'targeted married men' or 'broken up families'. [Victim 1]'s second marriage, 12 years later, was her only other serious relationship; they had a child together but were divorced because they had lived apart for over 2 years. [Victim 1] had not been involved with any other men until Gary Stone came into her life.
(ALL our victims targeted by married Cyberpaths are upstanding, decent people with zero criminal records whatsoever.)

Pathologicals believe their mere words can 'create reality' and it only sets off the victim to try to correct the record - which is what the predator wants. To UPSET & HURT them. Don't worry -- most professionals see through this pretty quickly.)


delusional!!! Pictures, Images and Photos

Gary Stone drafted a book of some 100 pages, telling his twisted version of events, and circulated it to [Victim 1]'s friends in the discussion group where they met, before changing the names and trying to sell it as thinly-disguised 'fiction' at various websites (e.g. Lulu, PayLoadz), in the full knowledge that the level of personal information is sufficient to identify [Victim 1], her ex-husband and their child and place them in harm's way by so doing.

Gary Stone includes images of [Victim 1]'s cleavage which he captured with software from [Victim 1]'s WEBCAM without her knowledge during their Skype calls. *It should be noted that personal webcam footage belongs to the owner of the webcam, NOT to the recipient who captures it, and that for the recipient to publish such footage is a breach of both Copyright and Privacy laws.
This is a Federal charge of computer invasion or trespass.

----------------------------------

Stone wants BADLY to believe he is special and unique. ALL Cyberpaths & Pathologicals do. Truth is they are so alike it's scary. Below is from Stone's website -- where HE calls the shots and HE creates the 'reality', about EOPC:

This website exists as a news report about those who do employee minions to attack us. Thanks. (ps, this website only exists to counter defamation, and sexual harassment by Elaine S**, and to desscribe her latest criminal behavior, and theft, and to warn others not to engage them (Elaine S** with personal information.)

If you want to see more of Stone's WORD SALAD & bizarre accusations about EOPC and his victim in general - go here. He's CLOSED COMMENTS -- like another of our predators DELETED his whole spin & lie laden post from his website about the "true" relationship. ARCHIVAL COPY HERE. Every time they say they are "defending themselves" they just dig themselves in deeper and prove their own pathology further. Stone even wrote back one of his victim's supporters:
From: Gary Stone/ backbeatone@gmail.com
IP: 24.218.247.216
Subject: thks for you input
Date: Sunday, October 12, 2008, 11:00 AM

This webpage exists, to counter defamation, and sexual harassment, thanks
Gary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The way he replies to himself on his website makes him sound as if he is hallucinating! He will only believe people who TELL HIM WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR! Don't confuse Stone with reality or the truth.

Tell someone who cares Pictures, Images and Photos

All these Cyberpaths ought to start an online support group -- because they're the only ones who would listen or believe each other's baloney anymore.

  • Remember how Dunetz / Yidwithlid accused EOPC of being his victims and us sending "minions after him"? Dunetz was STILL saying this in 2010!

  • Remember how Hicks swore he was going to "sue all the websites, Dr. Phil, The Washington Post, the Virginia DA and write a book to tell the truth"? (He needs to talk to O.J. about that. And it's been a few years that Hicks is still singing this tired song -- and NO lawsuit or book. hhmmmm...)

  • Remember Jacoby trying to make up websites "showing" how one of his hapless victims was "lying" until it was 'pointed out to him' that he was skating into a Federal felony?

  • And Dorsky thinking we were a bunch of kids on some social networking site and he was going to 'call the Mashpee Police on' us? (We told him to go ahead while we contacted our law enforcement contacts with evidence of his grooming a minor.)

  • An example in the news - CLICK HERE

  • Stone's latest conspiracy theory on his blog shows he clearly ego-surfs himself constantly, as he has found a link to a post made by "Gary Stone, Peabody, MA" in March 2007 (19 months before EOPC exposure):
    http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/anderson.cooper.360/blog/2007/03/form...
    "I believe. I too experienced seeing UFO last march in upstate Minnesota. It was both frightful and awe inspiring. It changed me forever"
    Posted By Gary Stone, Peabody, MA : 4:24 PM ET"
    Stone says he has sent emails complaints to Government ministers telling them that one of his victims must have posted this to make him look bad... even before they knew Stone or his name! And that he knows who runs EOPC (he has not gotten it right yet; though Sandra Brown isn't here anymore) and that this latest target of his rage is 'holed up with a service revolver and her children delusionally thinking people are stalking her.' Pure projection. He's not just wrong; he's so off base it's laughable.

The list goes on & on & on & on... If they would BOTHER looking at the other posts and then over to the right of this site -- that whole LONG list of Cyberpaths & Predators whose victims come to us for support & validation to offer their tales as education & warning to others; they'd realize they're not only not special... they're common, unimaginative and repetitive.

Some of Stone's recent rantings since this was reposted:
________________

Gary Stone

backbeatone@gmail.com
The fbi and dwp will be following along to.,,Lets do it again.

--
http://hubpages.com/profile/The+Toylanders

http://www.ilike.com/artist/The+Toylanders

____________________________
From: Gary Stone backbeatone@gmail.com

To: CONTACT-US




A note to British authorities who have received my information on XXXXX's welfare fraud. I would like you to follow along with my argument with this group at their blog: Http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com


I would like you also to follow my rebuttal as they have seen fit to fight XXX's battles for her. Actually, they are behind the current XXX harassment page. (WHAT PAGE IS HE TALKING ABOUT????)

- they have a well documented history advocating for this kind of thing. (REALLY???)
My answers to them will be here. http://cybercrimerickkineelainemaysmith.blogspot.com/





I have asked Elaine and your authorities to do something about her soundclick harassment, now it has moved to face book, and this is just the cyberpaths blog (HUH???)
old nonsense rehashed. It will only be me fighting them initially, but I would like you to observe how they operate. And I invite you to check my facts as you surely have access to XXX's primary motives: welfare fraud reports.
Thanks

I don't think they will fare well. even tho it is just me they are fighting. It was XXXX who chose this fight, and invite every legal authority to witness it.
realize please that XXX has a huge gang, and this fight only involves me...
they will play down and dirty because that is what they are - filth.

Gary Stone

_____________

Number of Entries:
11 (7 this visit)
Entry Page Time:
06:49:22 AM
Visit Length:
13 hours 23 mins 54 secs
Browser:
Chrome 14.0
OS:
WinXP
Resolution:
1024x768
United States Flag
Total Visits:
7
Location:
Peabody, Massachusetts, United States
IP Address:
Comcast Cable (24.91.126.195)
Referring URL:
(No referring link)
Entry Page:
Exit Page:




From Stone:

I believe fighter has contacted my employer, as well. (NO WE DIDN'T. WE DON'T KNOW WHO HIS EMPLOYER WAS NOR DO WE CARE NOR DO WE CONTACT PEOPLE OVERSEAS.) There is a comment on his blog that has been removed (but still exists on XXXX’s server she may remove it too, but I have a photo of it, and will put it here. She got html from cyberpath’s blog, and put it XXX

That statement (below) was made by somebody familiar with my job responsibilities, the IP of the poster would prove it. Now that the post has been removed from Cyberpaths blog,

(We never removed anything.)
__________________________

More of Stone's "Everyone's Out to Get Me" Lunatic Ravings (If Toylanders is allegedly a music publishing company, a lot of time is spent ranting about conspiracy theories against him. He has been harassing EOPC for almost 4 years and someone he thinks is EOPC - no matter how many times we have told him he is incorrect. He hangs on like a pitbull.) Stone desperately wants attention but he's rather boring & incomprehensible.

And a comment we got on the very first post on Stone from a Massachusetts Comcast Internet address (
24.218.232.171)
I have spent some time around sociopaths. In their work you usually find them in positions of power and have control over subordinates.

Take for instance Gary Stone, he was a registered nurse and for many years the night manager. He had control over the nurses under him and god like control over his patients.

This was enough to satiate his sociopathy and allow him to lead a near normal life away from his job. That is until he lost his job, he scrambled for a few months before meeting the above victim and as the story above reads, you do not need to guess the outcome.

Sociopaths can be found in all lines of work, military, law enforcement, civil service, corporate management and small business owners but more or less in a structured environment to which the sociopath will play to their advantage.

Until, they loose their jobs or retire, then all hell breaks out and woo unto the first victim they latch onto. In my opinion the above expose and continued releases will in a sense become his new victim. It will allow him to analyze in great detail every word of each sentence and give him something to do with his time. His time, wasted as it is will be spent refuting the expose and using it as a stick to beat his victim with.

Great work EOPC! keep it up.
I can’t wait to see the next installment.

(This above poster seems to be on to something! And the statement about him latching onto EOPC as the next target of his rage - spot on.)

Poor poor Gary Stone...
boo hoo Pictures, Images and Photos

That's right, Martyr Man. You want control. You are not able to control yourself and so you are controlled by others - but you resent it. So you get a feeling of control by manipulating situations with an invisible hand.

This game allows you to escape responsibility for anything and everything by invoking your status as the most misunderstood, mistreated, helpless and victimized martyr who ever walked the earth. Nobody understands you or your pain!

Don't they see that being a victim completely justifies the way you turn around and become a victimizer at will? Nobody could ever suspect poor little abused, tormented you of torpedoing relationships.


Nobody could expect such an innocent little lamb of deliberately causing emotional and psychological damage to others. Why, look at the way he cries and curls up into a helpless little ball when confronted (and when the lying and deflecting games don't work)! He could never harm ANYONE.

He's so broken up over all the deaths in his family, even though they occurred YEARS ago and EVERYONE has to deal with death at some point in their lives. Broken up over the death of his friend, so much that he can't be held responsible for any of his lying, manipulative behavior. Because no one else ever suffered the way he has suffered.

The Martyr has no pity or compassion for anyone else, since he saves it all for himself.


FROM THIS FANTASTIC ARTICLE

We save our compassion for the victims.

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