Thanks -- from a Victim

The former victims of predator Douglas Beckstead, Anchorage, Alaska, would like to take this moment to offer our heart-felt thanks and appreciation to everyone who has supported us over the past few years.

As we receive many emails everyday it is not possible to thank everyone individually.

We would like to make a special note of thanks to those like EOPC, who have offered many hours of support and helped us with legal issues as well as informative educational material. Most appreciated is the team at EOPC, without your continued support, information and assistance none of this would have been possible or as effective.

A special thank-you also to the many victims, ex-co workers and friends that have come forward against Beckstead in the past to validate his behaviors and know full well what he is capable of. Telling your side of the story has helped validate ours and vice versa. As agreed, where requested your details have been kept confidential.

Of all the positive feedback we have received there was only one negative attack, apart from Beckstead's own underhanded abuse and smear campaign he ran behind the scenes. Thankfully those that know Beckstead also know his words and know of his lies and excuses, they have heard it all one too many times before.

Exposure works.

To anyone else out there who has a story about this predator or any other, speak out, don’t be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Predators like Beckstead take advantage of your kind nature and vulnerability, they use this for their own personal gain. You as a victim know the truth, stand by it and stand tall. Take back your dignity, you, as his or another predators target have done nothing wrong. We trusted in them and believed their lies, only we did not know they were lies until further down the line.

Predators try to scare victims into silence with threats (lawsuit threats, smear campaigns, spin campaigns, pity parties, counterattacks, putting up attack & hate blogs full of libel, etc) — and it all ends up being NOTHING 99% of the time. Nothing but grade school type attacks & name calling. Showing how low, immature and unable to be accountable they are.

Beckstead tried to bully his victims into silence. When that failed he again used projection and word salad, he emailed some of his victims and grossly embellished personal information (he loves to spread malicious gossip about you to his next target of choice).

He tries to scare and shame his victims into submission by telling them that he has told everyone about “your” state of mental health - and then adds that “he is prepared to forgive you - because you can’t help it”. This was said to hopefully play on his victims emotions and reel them back in. So he can keep using vulnerable women online for free masturbatory material. This was said to also pave the way to allow him an excuse to everyone else out there to carry on abusing you and your trust and keep you under his control.

Unfortunately for Beckstead, his victims could see through him and past his 5th grade bullying tactics. They did not “need him” the way he thinks they did. They did not “want him” the way he thinks they did. They are not obsessed with him, angry he wouldn't travel to sleep with them or any of the other nonsense he (like all predators) tell people. They are stronger, healthier and happier people now for not having this cretin in their lives.

He will take a minor comment made and twist it to the point of being ridiculous; he is nothing but transparent. This is the same man who repeatedly accused his victims of suffering from “mood-swings”, when in actual fact his emails show exactly who was swinging from the glory chandeliers one minute and draping himself in self-pity the next. Beckstead is the one medically required to take a myriad of meds to keep himself afloat. He is a screaming hypochondriac always vying for your attention.

Beckstead accused many of his victims of having 'issues' with him.
There was always an excuse from him, the woman went from being his everything “don’t know what I would do without you and your kids in my life” to being “after him”, “obsessed with him”, “after his body” - yeah all 300+ lbs! The one who has issues - is always the Cyberpath!

He called one “a radical lesbian”, another one “biologically disturbed”, one victim's dog “attacked him” - he threatened to “sue”( after he sexually accosted the two young girls in this family & then threatened to sue their parents because of the dog attack if they went to the authorities - a classic PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE) … you name it, he had a name and excuse for everyone of his former victims (including children) as to what, where and why they disliked him so.

Could it not be for the simple reason that they found out who and what you truly are Beckstead? You have to ask the question, surely all of these people could not all be wrong about him, now could they? Let's not forget that most of these victims were and remain to be a class above him and only tolerated him because they thought he was genuine and sincere until the game playing on his part commenced.

Once you start to realize and ask him questions, all bets are off.

Exposure HELPS victims on the healing path to first and foremost realizing that it was not you as the target and victim's fault. It was never your fault, the onus lies with the predator. It helps you realize and validate your experience, especially when you meet others out there that have suffered a similar fate. If not at the same hand as your predator then a strikingly similar experience shared with another - all of these predators operate under the same guises. You are not alone.

Exposure helps spread the word out there that we are not prepared to remain passive and let these predators get away with what they have done. Exposure makes these predators be held accountable for their actions. This in turn - helps you heal - with the knowledge that you are helping to save others from becoming victims.

It is not about revenge, it is not about a vendetta, it is about accountability, making them responsible one way or another, it is about taking back your life.

It is about prevention, knowledge is key.

Exposure makes those not aware or perhaps not realize that online predatory behavior towards adults is becoming more prevalent out there on the internet.

By exposing these predators we make a stand that this behavior is not acceptable.

Most certainly the predator will never admit to you or anyone else that they have committed any of these depraved acts against you. However, as proven over time, other victims will read your story - then they will come forward and tell you their story.

Validation = healing.
Exposure warns others either involved with this predator or about to become involved with this predator, of what lies ahead. If exposure saves just one other person from riding that emotional roller-coaster ride to hell then it is worth it. Beckstead and those like him get their cheap thrills out of using you, “watching you squirm” was one of his favorite lines, often said to his victims as he prepared to play a nasty hand against a work colleague or someone else who dared stand out in front of his obese carcass. Watch out because he is warning you of what is yet to come your way, it won’t be long before you too are suffering at his cruel hand of lies and deceit, in - fact from the word go he is lying to you.
Thank-you also to the many former victims of other predators who have shared their stories with us, who have encouraged and supported us. To the many other sites set up to expose these cretins in society, keep up the good work. Remember the best outcome you can have is success for yourselves, be happy in love and life as we have become.

Finally, a big thank-you goes out to those at the U.S. National Park Services for making a stand against this predator who has abused behind the scenes and used you for his own personal notoriety and attention. We know you have read what he wrote and we know you have witnessed the packages that were sent to your office in Fairbanks. We understand that some of you had your own personal grievances with this pathetic excuse for a human being.

Every action no matter how small helps stop predators like Beckstead in their tracks.

As witnessed, Beckstead is still trying to impress and brag about another story using his former employers website at the NPS, to boast and brag about glories long since past him. Thank-you NPS for not being an enabler to this predator.

Finally a big Hat tip to the member of the 'armyairforces forum' for bringing him to our attention.

Stay strong and be kind to yourselves.

For Photos of Beckstead and the Original of the post & more on Beckstead CLICK HERE

CAUTION: Abusive Partners Use Social Networking to Stalk

By Marissa Carruthers

(Sunderland, U.K.) Abusive partners are turning to technology to find sick new ways of stalking their victims, the Echo can reveal.

An increasing number of Sunderland women are seeking refuge after campaigns of terror, including being stalked using GPS tracking devices and apps on mobile phones, hacking into computers and online harassment.

Experts say advances in new technology have given abusers a tighter rein on their victims by handing them extra tools to trace their every move.

Clare Phillipson, of Wearside Women in Need, said: “Abusive men will always find new ways to either exercise control over their partners or abuse them. We currently have concerns with new technology that enables men to stalk their partners using mobile phones.

“They are able to activate the sat nav function without anyone even knowing, and this means they can see exactly where they are all the time. There have been cases of men sitting there and watching people walking round the streets then use Google maps to see exactly what house they’ve gone into and get a complete picture.”

The organisation has also seen a worrying rise in the number of women being beaten for posting innocent status updates on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter and computer hacking to keep tabs on their partners.

In extreme cases, women’s movements inside their home have been monitored by CCTV cameras put up by possessive partners wanting to spy on their spouse.

“Websites like Facebook also give men a tool to constantly monitor their partners,” said Clare.

“We have seen a lot of times when women have left innocuous messages like you and I would say, like ‘had a nice night out with my friend last night’, and their partner has got violent. In some cases with more affluent men, CCTV cameras have been put up inside and around a house that can be accessed any time through mobile phones or computers.

“New technologies are making it much easier. Before, you couldn’t be in touch with your partner 24/7, but now we’re getting women beaten up because she’s at work and had to switch her phone off.”

There has also been several reported cases of wife-beaters turning to social networking sites to continue their harassment campaign after their partner has left them.

“I would say to people that if they are separating they should look very carefully at their Facebook privacy settings and their friends,” Clare added.

“There are many cases of abusive partners using them to build up a whole picture of their lives.”

original article found here

Involved With a Sociopath (or Cyberpath)?

Cyberpathy is an expression of Sociopathy and Narcissism -- therefore this article is very pertinent to those who may be, are or ever were involved with a Cyberpath. If you have thoroughly read any of our predator stories -- you will relate to this article! - EOPC

PART I



Is there something wrong with your guy? Does he lie, cheat, steal, commit fraud, use people then discard them, have fits of rage, seem self-centered or have no conscience?

Do you feel like something is wrong with him, but you are not sure what it is? It sometimes seems like his brain just does not work right and he does outrageous things.

Beware! You might be dating a sociopath. What are the warning signs? What should you do?

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.

• If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.



• If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.



The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.

The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back.

A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.

Are you the one who is crazy, you ask yourself? No. His brain really does not work right.

Understanding and accepting this fact will help you leave the sociopath and make your life right again with normal men and healthy relationships.

ORIGINAL

READ MORE:
Part 2
Part 3

While this article uses the male gender, your sociopath/ narcissist/ cyberpath may well be female.

When It's Someone You Trust...

You never know who might try to hurt you on the internet

BY CATHERINE WALKER

OVER the past few weeks we have learned that 80 per cent of victims of cyber-stalking are women, and many have been the victims of ex-lovers, but although it seems relationships have a lot to do with online stalking it is not always men who are the stalkers. This week, we talk to a woman who was stabbed in the back by the person who she least expected.

Jane Burns (name has been changed to protect identity) was a normal young woman. In 2005, most of her friends at university were studying abroad, which brought her and another classmate a lot closer together than before. They spent hours together and told each other everything. Jane’s new best friend spent a lot of time on the internet, trying to meet men in forums. Jane worried her friend because she would often go to meet them after just a few weeks, thinking she had found her ideal man, and then resulting in disappointment, but little did Jane know it was herself she should worry about. Jane was in a long-distance relationship with a man abroad, but thanks to the internet they kept in touch every day.

One day, after she returned from a holiday at her boyfriend’s home, she went online and found an e-mail, apparently from him, which was directed to another woman, telling her he loved and missed her. Jane, with tears in her eyes, contacted her boyfriend to ask for an explanation. He, of course, knew nothing, but she felt deceived and hurt and told him she wanted to split up. Luckily, he insisted she checked whether the e-mail had really come from his address – it hadn’t. The address that had been used was the same, apart from a dash, which in the heat of the moment, she hadn’t noticed. On closer examination, the language was a little different, although the nickname used for her was right.

The only person who had this information was Jane’s friend, who also happened to have asked to read some of their e-mails just two weeks earlier. Why did she do this? Jane says she can’t imagine. But when she told her friend about the ordeal, without accusing her, she immediately went offline and the two have not spoken since.

You never know who is trying to hurt you on the internet, so be careful.

original article found here

Trust turning to betrayal.

INSIDE THE ABUSIVE MIND

"..the narcissistic abuser often picks energetic, loving, successful, passionate people. They seek out in others, what they lack, then begin the process of appropriating what the other has for themselves. In this sense they are true emotional vampires, robbing their victims of their personality, they energy, their passion for life - metaphorically killing them.

Their preferred method though, in the end, is to have the victim self-destruct, allowing them to walk away in triumph seeking sympathy for what they've had to endure with this 'crazy person'."

(edited slightly for cyberpaths)
Abusive people (such as cyberpaths) typically think they are unique, so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules as everyone else. But actually, abusers have a lot in common with one another and share a great many thinking patterns and behaviors.

These may include:

Success Fantasies: The abuser believes in fantasies of being rich, famous, or extremely successful in other terms if only other people weren't holding him back. They're blocking the way makes the abuser feel justified in getting back at them, including through abuse. The abuser also puts other people down as a way of building himself up. Beckstead - prime example!

Blaming: The abuser shifts responsibility for actions to others, which allows the abuser to be angry at the other person for "causing" the behavior. Cyberpath example: "If you wouldn't "tempt me" I wouldn't beg you for intimate photos, cybersex or send you dirty pictures.."

Redefining: The abuser redefines the situation so that the problem lies not with the abuser but with others or the outside world. Cyberpath example: My wife/ partner doesn't love me; won't have sex with me; makes me feel bad - anyway... so I need to turn to you (and net porn) for relief. My boss stresses me out... so I take it out on you (victim) at the computer.

Making Fools of Others: The abuser combines tactics to manipulate others. The tactics include lying, upsetting the other person just to watch her reactions, and provoking a fight between or among others. The Cyberpath may try to charm the person he wants to manipulate, pretending a great deal of interest in and concern for that person in order to get on her good side. (love bombing, coercion, manipulation, brainwashing, anchoring lies)

Assuming: Abusive people often assume they know what others are thinking or feeling. Their assumption allows them to justify their behavior because they "know" what the other person would think or do in a given situation. Cyberpath example: "I knew you'd be mad because I didn't come online when you asked, so I figured I might as well stay away for a week..."

Emotional Dependence: Abusive individuals are usually very emotionally dependent on their partner. The result of their inner rage at being dependent means that the abuser acts in controlling ways to exert power and to deny their own weakness. (If they are having net affairs they may take out their rage on the new victim rather than the spouse - knowing the person they are cheating with has no one to tell without revealing the net affair!)

One major symptom is strong jealousy and possessive actions, normally sexual in nature. Another sign of dependence is the effect of what happens when the abused person leaves the relationship because of the abuse. It is common for the abuser to make extraordinary attempts to persuade them to return.

Lying: The abuser manipulates by lying to control information. The abuser may also use lying to keep other people, including the victim, off-balance psychologically. For example: The abuser tries to appear truthful when actually lying, or tries to look deceitful when actually telling the truth.

Rigid Application of Traditional Sex Attitudes: Abusive persons tend to have more inflexible beliefs about roles and functions of the opposite sex. The man may expect the woman to over fulfill all the household and mothering chores and to be very submissive and subservient.

Drama and Excitement: Abusive people have trouble experiencing close, satisfying relationships. They substitute drama and excitement (sex? playing games with people's heads & emotions?) for closeness. Abusive people find it exciting to watch others become angry, get into fights, or fall into a general uproar. Often, they'll use a combination of tactics to set up an exciting situation.
Closed Channel: The abusive person does not tell much about personal details and real feelings. The abuser is not open to new information about himself either, such as someone else's thoughts about them personally. The abuser is secretive, close-minded and self-righteous. Abusers believe they are right in all situations.

Ownership: The abuser typically is very possessive. Moreover, the abuser believes that anything that is wanted should be owned, and that the abuser can do as wanted with anything that is his. The same attitude applies to people. It justifies controlling others' behavior, physically hurting them, smearing their character, stalking, hacking their computers and taking things that belong to them.

Poor Anger Management: Individuals who have experienced a violent and abusive childhood are more likely to grow up and become spouse abusers or abused people themselves. A person who sees violence, even verbal or emotional violence, as the primary method for settling differences as a child is not going to have very many alternate ways available to channel anger. A person without an everyday outlet for anger risks exploding toward the people closest to them.

Minimizing: The abuser ducks responsibility for abusive actions by trying to make them seem less important than they are. Cyberpath example: "Everything I said online wasn't that bad", or "You took what I said the wrong way."

Fragmentation: The abuser usually keeps the abusive behavior separate from the rest of his life. The separation is physical; for example, the abuser will seduce and malign people online but not in real life.

The separation is also psychological; for example, it is not uncommon for an abuser to attend church Sunday morning and abuse his victim Sunday night. The abuser sees no inconsistency in this behavior and feels justified in it.

Above the Rules: As mentioned earlier, abusers generally believe they are better than other people and so don't have to follow the rules that ordinary people do. That attitude is typical of convicted criminals, too. Each inmate usually believes that while all the other inmates are criminals, he is not. An abuser shows above-the-rules thinking in saying, "I don't need counseling. Nobody knows as much about my life as I do. I can handle my life without help from anybody." (they usually only go to counseling when caught, as a way to say - "I straightened my life out - its ok now", then go RIGHT BACK TO COVERTLY ABUSING)

Self-glorification: The abuser usually thinks of himself as strong, superior, independent, self-sufficient, and very virile. When anyone says or does anything that doesn't fit this glorified self-image, the abuser takes it as an insult.

Inability to express feelings with words: This type of person is rarely capable of true intimacy and may feel very threatened by the prospect of being open and vulnerable. Particularly when frustrated, the abusive person expects instant gratification from their partner who is expected to "read" their mind and "know" what their mate wants. When the mate doesn't know what is expected the partner may interpret this as meaning they do not really love them. Therefore with an abusive individual, rejection = violence (verbal, physical, emotional). (if they do genuinely express themselves its generally a sarcastic remark, a putdown or anger)

Vagueness: Thinking and speaking vaguely or selectively skewing facts lets the abuser avoid responsibility. Cyberpath Example: "I'm working, I can't chat right now." (Working on OTHER VICTIMS??)

ORIGINAL ARTICLE FROM THIS GREAT SITE

In Review: One of our Victims SPEAKS OUT!

`Bigamist' awaits return to Virginia

(from 2005) by APRIL BETHEA (www.charlotteobserver.com)

A Mecklenburg County judge on Thursday refused to lower the $25,000 bond for a Virginia man indicted on a felony bigamy charge and arrested in Charlotte after his case was featured on the "Dr. Phil" program.

That means Charles Edward Hicks, 61, who has waived extradition, likely will remain in a Mecklenburg County jail while Virginia authorities prepare a governor's warrant that would send him back to that state, said Elizabeth Trosch, an assistant public defender who represented Hicks in court on Thursday.

"We're done with him in North Carolina," Trosch said.

Hicks was indicted earlier this month in a Chesapeake, Va. courtroom on a felony charge of bigamy. He was arrested in Charlotte on Dec. 12 after a Shelby woman who had seen Hicks featured on the "Dr. Phil" show that morning recognized him as the boyfriend of her sister and called police.

Hicks reportedly has been married seven times and divorced five.


I am the victim of a real live con man, bigamist, and in my opinion as well as many others, that my ex bigamist husband Ed Hicks is a textbook psychopath (sociopath/antisocial). Guess what? I met Ed Hicks on the Internet. It is my belief that the Internet has given these emotional vampires a whole new supply. Online dating sites allow these predators to be anyone they want to be and they present themselves as charming and charismatic, but they are MASTER manipulators that exhibit psychopathic and narcissistic traits.

Like so many Internet Predators - Ed Hicks....

• lied to me about every facet of his life;
• chopped away at my self esteem;
• disrespected my boundaries;
• took away my ability to trust another man;
• forced me to refinance my home to make up for the money he took from me;
• manipulated me;
• controlled me;
• used, betrayed, deceived, and emotionally abused me.

Unless people who use these dating sites start doing full background checks on the people they meet there and start a relationship with, they may find themselves in a situation similar to mine... or worse. I was not too smart because I did not do a background check; however, since I knew he was a U.S. Federal Government employee with a Department of Defense "Secret" security clearance, I thought that signaled verifiable integrity. I was wrong.

I cannot fault the Internet for my nightmare, nor can I really fault the online personals sites, albeit - I believe these personal sites that you pay money to join have the responsibility to make the members of their online dating communities aware of these types of predators and con artists. I believe they have the responsibility to put this information in a prominent place on their sites, not buried somewhere within the recesses of their pages so their members rarely find it. I believe they should link to databases and websites that contain honest information about these predators.

I urge each of you to BEWARE. You are taking a BIG risk in putting an ad online; you are taking a big risk in meeting someone on the Internet. You must protect yourself and learn the signs, the red flags of the online predator. Read all you can about cyberpaths, internet predators, online predators... all terms mean the same and they attack ADULTS as well as children! Read all you can about psychopaths (sociopaths). Your own best defense is educating yourself.

I am so very lucky; I am not financially ruined -- I am scarred, yet I feel so blessed. It could have been worse for me; it really could have. Some of Ed Hicks' wives are still emotionally ruined whether through depression, PTSD or addiction; some are financially ruined and will be for a long time. One thing we all have in common after the tornado of havoc this MAN creates, we are all victims of emotional & psychological abuse from this vampire; some are also victims of his physical abuse.

I must add in defense of meeting people on the Internet, had it not been for the support of the caring survivors of other psychopaths that I met through the MSN Psychopaths forum (no longer in use), Barbara at Sanctuary for the Abused, Holly Desimone of Holly's Fight for Justice, Donna at Lovefraud.com, Shelly at You Are A Target and the group behind Exposing Online Predators and Cyberpaths, I would not be where I am today.

Yes, I met all of these wonderful, kind, compassionate people on the Internet! They have given me the courage, the strength, and the fortitude to become "a force to be reckoned with". Tennessee Williams character Blanche DuBois, said it beautifully in "A Streetcar Named Desire", "I have depended on the kindness of strangers". Yes, I met these "strangers" on the Internet; strangers who proved themselves and have become lifelong friends.

Put it in perspective, educate yourself, and beware of online predators, con men & women and other pathologicals who are lurking out there in cyberspace.

(Thank you for your courage & perspective!! Sandra now runs the site FIGHT BIGAMY to provide outreach and support to victims of bigamists. - EOPC)

Internet Becoming a Pathway to Violations

by David Linton

Officials say people with restraining orders against them are using social networking to contact victims and victim's friends & families.

(Massachusetts, USA) A man embroiled in a domestic dispute with his estranged wife contacted her friends in an effort to see their kids, which was prohibited by a restraining order.

"She should let him see their father. She has issues with him. It shouldn't get in the way of the kids. Pass on the love," he allegedly said.

Prosecutors argued that the defendant, 38-year-old George Manchester of Fall River, violated a restraining order by trying to contact his estranged wife through her friends.

Only Manchester, who denies the allegations, did not speak to the friends directly or send them a letter.

Prosecutors say Manchester, who police say has a history of domestic violence and violating restraining orders, reached out through cyberspace on the social networking website Facebook. "Your honor, it looks like he's coming up with more creative ways to violate the restraining order without getting caught," Assistant District Attorney Kelly Costa argued last month during a bail hearing for Manchester in Attleboro District Court.

The use of social networking websites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace by domestic abuse defendants prohibited from contacting their victims is becoming more common, authorities say, as the use of the websites has proliferated in society.

North Attleboro police Detective Michael Elliott says he's investigated numerous cases in which restraining orders were violated by people using social networking websites, as well as e-mail and cellphone texting.

"Just because it's not in person doesn't mean it's not a violation," said Elliott, who has investigated numerous cybercrimes. "Violations using the phone and violations over the Internet are very similar."

Officials at New Hope, a non-profit women's shelter and domestic abuse support agency, say technology is a good way to keep in touch with family and friends, but it also has been used to torment domestic abuse victims.

"Many of New Hope's clients have in some form or at some point had technology used against them by their abuser, and perpetrators of violence are becoming increasingly 'tech-savvy' in using various devices to abuse or locate their victims," New Hope spokeswoman Laura Hennessey Martens said. "It is important for survivors to know that while living in an abusive home or even after leaving their abuser, social media, cell phones and other technologies can continue to be used against them and may jeopardize their safety," Martens said.

In Bristol County, there have been cases in all four district courts in which defendants have violated restraining orders through text messaging or social networking sites.

In one New Bedford case, a man is alleged to have taken his ex-girlfriend's cell phone and texted her friends, threatening to kill her, said Gregg Miliote, a spokesman for Bristol County District Attorney Sam Sutter.

"We've had defendants threaten to kill victims and burn their houses down. It seems that in the past few years it is an ever more popular way for defendants to violate restraining orders," Miliote said.

There are no local statistics to show the number of incidents, Miliote said, but prosecutors in the domestic violence unit have been successfully prosecuting more and more defendants for violating restraining orders through cyberspace.

"It's not unusual," Miliote said.

A U.S. Justice Department survey released last year noted that 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking by e-mail or instant messaging - and that was based on information gathered in 2006.

With the increased popularity of social networking and smartphones within the past few years, authorities say instances of cyberstalking or prohibited contact due to a restraining order is almost certainly higher.

Social networking, whether by e-mail or websites, is becoming more popular among all age groups, with 86 percent of those 18 to 26 using social networking sites, up from 16 percent in 2005, according to a survey released last month by the Pew Research Center.

Users 30 to 49 shot up from 12 percent in 2005 to 61 percent in May 2010.

The fastest growth occurred in the 50 to 64 age group, with the figures more than doubling in one year. Last year, 22 percent said they used social networking sites, jumping to 47 percent in May 2010, according to the Pew survey.

Martens says domestic violence victims can protect themselves.

While each domestic violence survivor's situation is unique and may require different strategies to "stay ahead" of his or her abuser, some basic technology safety tips include:

If using a computer that your abuser might have access to, be sure to clear your browser. However, computer use can still be monitored and Internet use is impossible to completely clear.

It is recommended that survivors instead use a computer that the abuser does not have access to.

Keep personal or identifying information offline. Online photos and postings can be used to track victims' whereabouts. This includes photos and postings by family and friends of a survivor.

Keep in mind that, even when selecting privacy settings at the highest level of privacy, there is still no guarantee that the information will be or will remain private.

Keep in mind that cell phones, car safety tracking systems and other technologies have GPS tracking devices that can be used by abusers to locate their victims.

More information is available on New Hope's website http://www.new-hope.org

original article here

NET ABUSERS ARE PATHOLOGICAL

IT'S OFFICIAL: NET ABUSERS ARE PATHOLOGICAL
By Evan Schuman, TechWire

Another yardstick of success will be achieved by the Internet community: It will be awarded its first official mental health disorder.

The newly identified disorder will be dubbed Pathological Internet Use (PIU) and will be christened during the presentation of a major medical paper at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association in Chicago.

The term is being coined by Dr. Kimberly Young, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford, in Bradford, Pa. With her paper's presentation, the APA will classify excessive Internet use as addictive, in the same way that drugs (including alcohol), gambling, video games, and some types of eating disorders are today officially considered addictive.

Like those other ailments, Internet addiction starts when the rest of the person's life starts to fall apart, the paper stated. The Internet is a fine hobby or work tool, until it causes problems with social partners, work, or school, Young said.

Young studied 396 cases of PIU-afflicted people and drew some overall conclusions.

Net marketers need not fear, as traditional Web surfing accounted for only 7 percent of the Internet addicts and even more information-oriented tools (gophers and FTP sites, for example) represented only an additional 2 percent.

"Upon examination, traditional information protocols and Web pages were the least utilized compared with more than 90 percent who became addicted to the two-way communication functions: chat rooms, MUDs [Multi-User Dungeons], newsgroups, and E-mail," Young said. "This makes the case that database searches -- while interesting and often time-consuming -- are not the actual reasons Dependents become addicted to the Internet."

Young said one surprise in the results was the lack of high-tech people among the addicted. "While it is a common perception that those addicted to the Internet are computer savvy individuals, these demographic results show that only 8 percent came from high-tech jobs," she said. "Compare this to the 42 percent who indicated having no permanent jobs and the 39 percent who worked in low-tech fields. It is typically newbies who become excessive Internet users."

Among the jobs that she classified as low-tech were secretaries, bank tellers, teachers, advertising executives, and journalists.

The report said that the attraction of the Internet revolves around its perceived anonymity, where people feel comfortable acting out in ways they would never consider in real life.

"The ability to enter into a bodiless state of communication enabled users to explore altered states of being that fostered emotions that were new and richly exciting," Young said. "Such uninhibited behavior is not necessarily an inevitable consequence of visual anonymity, but depends upon the nature of the group and the individual personality of the online user."

"For those who felt unattractive, it was perceived easier to pick up another person through cybersex than in real life," she said.

But beyond sexual issues, newsgroups and chat lines allow people to literally create and secretly test new personalities before trying them out in the real world. "Beyond amusement, reinventing oneself is a way to fulfill an unmet need. The loss of a social identity online allows one to reconstruct an ideal self in place of a poor self-concept," Young said. "Those who suffer from low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, or frequent disapproval from others are at the highest risk" of becoming Net addicts.

She quoted one participant in the survey as telling her, "By day, I am a mild-mannered husband, but at night I become the most aggressive bastard online."

The addiction can become a problem when the new emotional creation makes inroads into real lives or when the time spent in the virtual life takes away from responsibilities in the real life.

The addicted Internet user will spend an average of 38 hours per week online dealing with nonemployment/nonacademic efforts, compared with "nonaddicts" in the survey who averaged eight hours. Almost half of the participants diagnosed with PIU reported that they get less than four hours of sleep per night due to late log-in sessions.

Another reason for some of the addictions is the sense of community that some newsgroups create. "With routine visits to a particular group (chat area or newsgroup, for example), a high degree of familiarity among other group members is established.

Like all communities, the cyberspace culture has its own set of values, standards, language, signs, and artifacts, and individuals adapt to the current norms of the group," Young said.

"One can easily become involved in the lives of others almost like watching a soap opera and thinking of the characters as real people," she said.

Young's report said that this is especially attractive to people who might find it difficult to establish other social circles. "Homebound caretakers, the disabled, retired individuals, and homemakers have limited access to others," she said.

Internet addiction centers have already been created at facilities ranging from the University of Maryland at College Park to Proctor Hospital in Peoria, Ill., to Harvard affiliate McLean Hospital.

The test group broke down into 157 men and 239 women; the average age for the males was 29, and the average age for the women was 43 .

WHAT CONSTITUTES PATHOLOGICAL INTERNET USE?
Do you:

* feel preoccupied with the Internet (i.e., thinking about the Internet when offline)? * feel a need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction? * have an inability to control your Internet use?

* feel restless or irritable when attempting to cut down to stop Internet use?

* use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a poor mood (i.e., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, or depression)?

* lie to family members or friends to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet? (i.e. online sexual interaction with anonymous persons, online relationships your family/friends know nothing about, having an online life that only you know about?)

* jeopardize or risk the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?

* after spending an excessive amount of money on online fees (such as for online gambling, porn or shopping), often return another day?

* go through withdrawal when offline (e.g., increased depression, anxiety, etc.)?

* stay online longer than originally intended?

Individuals who met four or more of these criteria during a 12-month period were classified as dependent.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

Victims & Abusers: Both Use Technology

By Shannon Proudfoot

Technology has moved to the front lines in the fight against domestic violence.

Advocacy organizations are using increasingly sophisticated high-tech solutions in their efforts to keep victims safe, even as they struggle to keep pace with abusers using technology to control and threaten their victims.

"Worldwide, it's an epidemic," says Alexis A. Moore, an abuse survivor and founder of the California-based victim advocacy group Survivors in Action.

"Perpetrators are changing their information and their manoeuvres. Their road map changes by the hour, where our training and education and awareness programs happen on a yearly basis, if that. Laws take years to develop."

GPS devices on vehicles or cellphones can be used to track a victim's movement without their knowledge and abusers can hack into their victim's online accounts to track e-mails or instant-messages, says Cynthia Fraser, a technology safety specialist with the Washington-based National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV).

Advocates first started hearing about high-tech abuse a decade ago, she says, but it's becoming a bigger problem because the technology is so widely and cheaply available. Even abusers who are not tech-savvy can learn how to stalk their partner with the help of the Internet, Fraser says.

The consequences of leaving a digital trail can be deadly. Fraser recalls one case where an abused woman wrote an e-mail about her plans to leave but didn't empty her computer trash bin after deleting the message. Her abuser found the message and killed her.

Fraser works with Safety Net, a project that focuses on technology and domestic abuse, and she's conducted training in Canada with law enforcement, Crown attorneys and shelter workers. Like other advocates, she's careful about how much detail she provides on this type of abuse and efforts to counter it because she doesn't want to "educate abusers."

"Technology has just added another layer to the complexities of women's safety," says Erin Lee-Todd, executive director of Lanark County Interval House, a shelter near Ottawa. "We just have to move with the times."

In Canada, most shelter websites prominently display warnings to victims that their online activities may be monitored, and many have escape buttons that switch to an innocuous website if someone walks into the room. Telecommunications companies have donated new cellphones and airtime to victims who fear their abusers may be tracking their communication or whereabouts with their regular phone.

E-Services, an online counselling program that allows shelters to provide live chat help to clients, is currently being rolled out across Canada by Shelternet, a Toronto-based organization that provides online resources to shelters and abuse victims.

Like those of many advocacy groups, the E-Services website has detailed instructions for clearing browser histories to help victims cover their online tracks, says project manager Tammy Falovo. But the widespread availability of spyware programs that can grab regular screen shots or log every keystroke on a computer and send the information to an abuser means that's no longer enough, she says.

"What we try to do is remind people that no medium is 100 per cent safe," Falovo says.

Many organizations now advise victims to seek help only on computers located in a safe place such as a public library or workplace, and to create a safe e-mail address they only use on computers the abuser has no access to.

The goal is to educate abused women and their children about the high-tech risks without frightening them even more, says Lee-Todd. But while the methods of abuse and stalking may be changing, she says the underlying motivation remains the same.

"The issues are still about power and control, and they're still rooted in that," she says. "Technology has afforded the opportunity to do that more strategically and often in a more sophisticated way."

For Moore, even a professional background as a high-tech investigator didn't protect her when she left an abusive partner several years ago. He began a campaign of "cyberstalking" that involved cancelling her credit cards, emptying her bank account and destroying her credit rating, she says, and like most intimate partners, he knew all the personal information and passwords that allowed him to do so.

Now a cyberstalking expert and founder of the California-based victim advocacy group Survivors in Action, Moore says some abusers will open e-mail accounts and impersonate their victims to seek information or send out naked photos — real or faked — to embarrass them.

"You can't believe what some of them do," she says.*

ARTICLE HERE

(*EOPC can believe it... )

Victims & Abusers: Both Use Technology

By Shannon Proudfoot

Technology has moved to the front lines in the fight against domestic violence.

Advocacy organizations are using increasingly sophisticated high-tech solutions in their efforts to keep victims safe, even as they struggle to keep pace with abusers using technology to control and threaten their victims.

"Worldwide, it's an epidemic," says Alexis A. Moore, an abuse survivor and founder of the California-based victim advocacy group Survivors in Action.

"Perpetrators are changing their information and their manoeuvres. Their road map changes by the hour, where our training and education and awareness programs happen on a yearly basis, if that. Laws take years to develop."

GPS devices on vehicles or cellphones can be used to track a victim's movement without their knowledge and abusers can hack into their victim's online accounts to track e-mails or instant-messages, says Cynthia Fraser, a technology safety specialist with the Washington-based National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV).

Advocates first started hearing about high-tech abuse a decade ago, she says, but it's becoming a bigger problem because the technology is so widely and cheaply available. Even abusers who are not tech-savvy can learn how to stalk their partner with the help of the Internet, Fraser says.

The consequences of leaving a digital trail can be deadly. Fraser recalls one case where an abused woman wrote an e-mail about her plans to leave but didn't empty her computer trash bin after deleting the message. Her abuser found the message and killed her.

Fraser works with Safety Net, a project that focuses on technology and domestic abuse, and she's conducted training in Canada with law enforcement, Crown attorneys and shelter workers. Like other advocates, she's careful about how much detail she provides on this type of abuse and efforts to counter it because she doesn't want to "educate abusers."

"Technology has just added another layer to the complexities of women's safety," says Erin Lee-Todd, executive director of Lanark County Interval House, a shelter near Ottawa. "We just have to move with the times."

In Canada, most shelter websites prominently display warnings to victims that their online activities may be monitored, and many have escape buttons that switch to an innocuous website if someone walks into the room. Telecommunications companies have donated new cellphones and airtime to victims who fear their abusers may be tracking their communication or whereabouts with their regular phone.

E-Services, an online counselling program that allows shelters to provide live chat help to clients, is currently being rolled out across Canada by Shelternet, a Toronto-based organization that provides online resources to shelters and abuse victims.

Like those of many advocacy groups, the E-Services website has detailed instructions for clearing browser histories to help victims cover their online tracks, says project manager Tammy Falovo. But the widespread availability of spyware programs that can grab regular screen shots or log every keystroke on a computer and send the information to an abuser means that's no longer enough, she says.

"What we try to do is remind people that no medium is 100 per cent safe," Falovo says.

Many organizations now advise victims to seek help only on computers located in a safe place such as a public library or workplace, and to create a safe e-mail address they only use on computers the abuser has no access to.

The goal is to educate abused women and their children about the high-tech risks without frightening them even more, says Lee-Todd. But while the methods of abuse and stalking may be changing, she says the underlying motivation remains the same.

"The issues are still about power and control, and they're still rooted in that," she says. "Technology has afforded the opportunity to do that more strategically and often in a more sophisticated way."

For Moore, even a professional background as a high-tech investigator didn't protect her when she left an abusive partner several years ago. He began a campaign of "cyberstalking" that involved cancelling her credit cards, emptying her bank account and destroying her credit rating, she says, and like most intimate partners, he knew all the personal information and passwords that allowed him to do so.

Now a cyberstalking expert and founder of the California-based victim advocacy group Survivors in Action, Moore says some abusers will open e-mail accounts and impersonate their victims to seek information or send out naked photos — real or faked — to embarrass them.

"You can't believe what some of them do," she says.*

ARTICLE HERE

(*EOPC can believe it... )

Reasons to Expose Them

It's not your job to keep their secrets

You're only as sick as your secrets

Secrets are dangerous

Have some sympathy for his next target. By telling, at least the new person goes in with their eyes open

Exposing them stimulates the same reward centers of the brain that desserts, desire, and drugs do. It is better than using drugs, drinking or gaining 40 lbs.

Like smoking, the more people you tell, the harder it will be for you to go back to the way it was.

Vindication. People who 'get it' will now realize you have good reason to act the way you do. You might also get some help for any post-emotional rape or PTSD issues you are having.

Role model. Other women (or men) may stop hiding in shame when they know what you went through.

Your cyberpath will have a harder time going after you if everyone knows. (Although there may be narcissistic rage & smear - just stick to your truth and stand firm.)

Here are some ways to stop keeping their secrets:

Join a Domestic Violence Group (most are free and are for verbal and emotional abuse too. You can see how their behavior often escalates and how if you don't stop it now, things will escalate) or Online Support group like ours or Sandra Brown, MA's

Participate in their public demonstrations, especially if its in the same town where you live. (If asked to speak, talk about Cyberpaths and what happened to you. You might be shocked how many are living in silent agony with similar shame & PTSD)

Tell the people who ask the truth without sugar coating or "protecting him." (Don't run around volunteering info on why. When anyone asks, tell them as many facts as interests them without rambling or preaching. If they don't believe you -- just smile, say "you will find out eventually" and walk away.)

Write press releases for your DV group or other publications and use your cyberpath as a concrete example. (Being published like this helps other women know they are not alone.)

Tell your counselor. If your counselor keeps trying to say you are "half the problem because of your behavior", get a counselor who understands online/emotional abuse, psychopathy and mind control. Don't try to educate a counselor who tells you to just "move on" or "get over it." Find one who gets it.

Tell your mother, father, and friends everything (where appropriate)!
(example: Telling actually saved the life of Marcia Ridgeway, the Green River Killer's 2nd wife.

He had tried to choke her from behind once. She told everyone, including her father who talked to Gary about it.

Years later, after his arrest, he told police that he had wanted to kill Marcia, his wife, but was afraid he would get caught because she told everyone that he attempted it once.)

Remember that the next you think you are "protecting" your cyberpath or his family by not telling the abuse you suffered at their hands.

Keep a detailed journal. This will help remind you when you forget how bad it is and can help you see your patterns. You can also later use it when you want to write a book or if you need evidence in court. Dated journals are court admissible.

Also, don't delete all the chats or emails - save them to a disk if you need them later. That way you don't have to read & obsess over their toxic words; but you do have them as evidence.

A journal can keep you from believing his words "you're crazy", "it never happened", "I never said/ did that", "it was just a game", "you blew it out of proportion", "she's a scorned/ obsessed woman", "she's been stalking me", and other crazy-making ways they try to turn it around on you.

Write a book and publish it. Do your own web site with your story and pictures. Post all pictures that relate -- photos he sent you, emails- with full headers, chats, gifts he sent --whatever pertains and illustrates the relationship.

List them as an abuser on the web. Do so only after you have established NO CONTACT with them. Use only sites that require verification and stick to the truth. Be sure you can back up what you say about some 110% and don't list things like their phone number, address or social security number - as that could lead to you being charged with aiding in identity theft.

Once you are out of their grip, you not only get to express yourself in an emotionally satisfying way, but you may save another person tremendous grief if they finds the cyberpath's name on one of these sites.

Excerpted from This Site

Reasons to Expose Them

It's not your job to keep their secrets

You're only as sick as your secrets

Secrets are dangerous

Have some sympathy for his next target. By telling, at least the new person goes in with their eyes open

Exposing them stimulates the same reward centers of the brain that desserts, desire, and drugs do. It is better than using drugs, drinking or gaining 40 lbs.

Like smoking, the more people you tell, the harder it will be for you to go back to the way it was.

Vindication. People who 'get it' will now realize you have good reason to act the way you do. You might also get some help for any post-emotional rape or PTSD issues you are having.

Role model. Other women (or men) may stop hiding in shame when they know what you went through.

Your cyberpath will have a harder time going after you if everyone knows. (Although there may be narcissistic rage & smear - just stick to your truth and stand firm.)

Here are some ways to stop keeping their secrets:

Join a Domestic Violence Group (most are free and are for verbal and emotional abuse too. You can see how their behavior often escalates and how if you don't stop it now, things will escalate) or Online Support group like ours or Sandra Brown, MA's

Participate in their public demonstrations, especially if its in the same town where you live. (If asked to speak, talk about Cyberpaths and what happened to you. You might be shocked how many are living in silent agony with similar shame & PTSD)

Tell the people who ask the truth without sugar coating or "protecting him." (Don't run around volunteering info on why. When anyone asks, tell them as many facts as interests them without rambling or preaching. If they don't believe you -- just smile, say "you will find out eventually" and walk away.)

Write press releases for your DV group or other publications and use your cyberpath as a concrete example. (Being published like this helps other women know they are not alone.)

Tell your counselor. If your counselor keeps trying to say you are "half the problem because of your behavior", get a counselor who understands online/emotional abuse, psychopathy and mind control. Don't try to educate a counselor who tells you to just "move on" or "get over it." Find one who gets it.

Tell your mother, father, and friends everything (where appropriate)!
(example: Telling actually saved the life of Marcia Ridgeway, the Green River Killer's 2nd wife.

He had tried to choke her from behind once. She told everyone, including her father who talked to Gary about it.

Years later, after his arrest, he told police that he had wanted to kill Marcia, his wife, but was afraid he would get caught because she told everyone that he attempted it once.)

Remember that the next you think you are "protecting" your cyberpath or his family by not telling the abuse you suffered at their hands.

Keep a detailed journal. This will help remind you when you forget how bad it is and can help you see your patterns. You can also later use it when you want to write a book or if you need evidence in court. Dated journals are court admissible.

Also, don't delete all the chats or emails - save them to a disk if you need them later. That way you don't have to read & obsess over their toxic words; but you do have them as evidence.

A journal can keep you from believing his words "you're crazy", "it never happened", "I never said/ did that", "it was just a game", "you blew it out of proportion", "she's a scorned/ obsessed woman", "she's been stalking me", and other crazy-making ways they try to turn it around on you.

Write a book and publish it. Do your own web site with your story and pictures. Post all pictures that relate -- photos he sent you, emails- with full headers, chats, gifts he sent --whatever pertains and illustrates the relationship.

List them as an abuser on the web. Do so only after you have established NO CONTACT with them. Use only sites that require verification and stick to the truth. Be sure you can back up what you say about some 110% and don't list things like their phone number, address or social security number - as that could lead to you being charged with aiding in identity theft.

Once you are out of their grip, you not only get to express yourself in an emotionally satisfying way, but you may save another person tremendous grief if they finds the cyberpath's name on one of these sites.

Excerpted from This Site

BECKSTEAD - 'PROJECTOR' EXTRAORDINAIRE!

More from just one of the bunch of Beckstead's victims we heard from since his initial exposure three years ago:
(EOPC's comments are in Dark Blue.
EOPC has linked some of our other exposed Cyberpaths throughout this article in our ongoing efforts to point out the PATTERNS & SIMILARITIES between these predators and to support our victims by letting them know: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!)

I was starting to see that Beckstead was so full of it and I was ignoring my gut instinct because of his twisted talk and blame-shifting. He would always lay the guilt trip back on me, accusing me of everything that he, himself had committed. (that's called PROJECTION)

It just about did my head in trying to keep up with his BS and 'word salad.' (that's called SCHIZOPHASIA)

The one thing though, he did have a lousy memory and that is what eventually tripped him up. (that's what tripped up Ed Hicks, Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid and Brad Dorksy) That and the fact that I did hold onto a good deal of the conversations down the track because I my gut told me he had a devious and sneaky side.
A couple of us caught him red handed several times in the VIP chatroom flirting with others while telling us we were his "one and only." His lies rebounded on him with me because I was always quick to point out fact from fiction when I noticed a distinct slip up. (Ohhhh Cyberpaths just LOVE when you catch them! NOT!) I became very savvy to them in those last months.

I just kept on asking the questions, he could not stand it any longer. I was no longer willing to play his whipping girl. (of course, so he D&D'd you)

These predators all start somewhere, and as with all abuse, sooner or later it escalates. What makes this guy truly depraved is that he leans in on women that he knows are in a vulnerable situation. (no that makes this guy EXACTLY like all of them- deeply depraved - please read the rest of the stories in our right hand margin. Remember: PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED) He comes in on a rescue mission, only with ulterior motives in mind. He took advantage of my situation and he hurt me. I tried to tell him that, but then I was accused of more "name calling". (PROJECTION again. They all do this rescue routine.)

His style, looking back was to give the impression that every woman was "after him", when god knows why they would be. (that's common - they are all SOOO desirable when its THEM that start and encourage their victim's interest. Players, cyberpaths, sociopaths, narcissists - ALL SAY THAT - nothing special about Beckstead. They are all so alike its sad - can't these guys think of something new? BTW - look at Beckstead's pictures - Johnny Depp he's NOT!)

He comes after you, he hunts you until he gets what he wants then abandons you by playing mind games and of course, if you call him on it, it is "all in your imagination." (Typical. Again, please read Keith Clive, Brad Dorsky, Dunetz/ Yidwithlid and Mike Campbell)

I just needed a sympathetic friend, someone I could talk to and trust in a time of need. (again PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED) I did not need this manipulating piece of work to turn my life and that of my families upside down and then pretend as if nothing had happened. (you are NOT alone -- this is the M.O. of all these cyberpaths - they are remorseless and could care less about anyone but themselves)

More blather from Beckstead. -- At this time - this victim CAUGHT Beckstead cybering with another victim nicknamed KITTY. Of course, Beckstead, like all of them DENY DENY DENY and PROJECTION!

Doug now tries to use Social Networking and other groups to repair his image and troll for more victims. He posts loads of pictures of his time in Iraq as if he's an actual Serviceman. CLICK HERE FOR BECKSTEAD'S FACEBOOK PAGE

It's all Beckstead... all the time. YAWN!

>From: "Doug Beckstead" <>
>Subject: RE: Good Afternoon!
>Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006
>
>>Well, this totally e-mail proves that it was not KITTY in there and in fact
>it was YOU who was impersonating her. You were not simply "lurking" as you
>are continually claiming. (what a liar! and why are you upset Dougie? Got caught? Didn't ya?)
>
>If you recall from the conversation that you participated in the only thing I said was that I would like to meet her and take her out to dinner and drinks. Nothing more. Anything else was simply a matter of what you wanted to dream up. I have made similar offers to others who I have met online because I, unlike yourself and others, would like to be able to meet the people I speak with to see what they are like in real life, and vice versa. (Dougie tries to MINIMIZE, BLAME SHIFT and PROJECT. Gag)
>
>At this point, as far as I am concerned you can go your own way and enjoy manipulating people online by trying to make them think that you are someone you are not. (HAHAHAHA! Why should she when YOU are the one so good at that Doug!)

You have gone to great lengths to accuse others in the VIP of similar dastardly acts (among them KITTY, XXX and others) and yet you yourself are one of those who is doing it. I only wish I had not been so blind for so long. (Oh come on Doug, you're just mad SHE'S not BLIND TO YOUR BULLCRAP ANYMORE!!! Him, Clive, Dorsky, Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Thomas and Hicks - same bull, different receptacle)
>
>Enjoy your games. Because I am not going to be a victim of any more of them. (Doug has games of his own he wants to play but he can't take what he dishes out) I can no longer trust anything about your or anything you say. (look in a mirror on that one Doug)
>
>Do not e-mail me at my office because this morning I will have your e-mail address blocked. (oooo!! what a threat!!)
>
>Have a good life because I am out of it from here on. Make all the threats you like and insult me as much as you would like if it makes you feel better about it. But I'm out of it. (Sounds like you are insulting one, Beckstead - all powerful behind a keyboard)
>
>Doug

>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beckstead Yet Again - Used the Victim for a Cyber-Punching Bag
Beckstead's Cyber-Tantrum because he GOT CAUGHT: Another example of his projection of blame and his narcissistic rage (when someone's got a clue to his REAL intentions):

Let's call this THE GREAT CELL PHONE DEBACLE.

In the beginning he offered to buy me a cell phone and a webcam. (Dunetz/Yidwithlid did this with his Target #2. They try to turn real, caring women into FREE PORN BABES!) I refused to accept either, because I did not ever want to be accused of having ever asked for a cent from him. I never asked anything of him financially ever and never would.

As it happened I did eventually buy my own cell phone and webcam (the webcam I took back as it was clear what he was expecting from me - a free sex show! -- and I was not willing to go there). (Same as Dunetz/ Yidwithlid, Jacoby, Clive and Dorsky - they wanted free porn - all you were to them was an OBJECT, not a real person - some of these cyberpaths take YOUR pictures and post them on boards for other sex addicts or sell them as homemade porn online!)

Once he realized that I'd caught on to what he really wanted from me (cybersex and that was all) there were more excuses of avoidance. Once I had my own cell phone, he made every excuse as to why he could not call or text, yet I have family and friends who have never had any trouble in doing so.
(sounds like Dunetz/ Yidwithlid- telling his ex-friend of over 25 years why he "just couldn't call her" - Yet he could call Target #2, a woman he NEVER met who was across the country; 3-4 times a day -- ON HIS EMPLOYER'S CELLPHONE! They are very very much alike! Click and READ!

Making the connections to their patterns here, readers?)

When I asked direct questions, he would be very selective in answering. If I went back and asked the about the questions he missed, would only make him angry. (Dorsky, Hicks, Campbell - how dare you want TRUTH from them! LOL)

The mere mention of zabasearch.com and the ease of finding his home address in that last long email from him, sent him into overdrive. Is he hiding something? Yes most definitely!! (readers - we say this all the time! If you ask question and/or they won't allow you to do a background check or say you "don't trust them" -- get out IMMEDIATELY! And do that check on them ASAP!! They are hiding something! Anyone who's honest would not care.)

He was always threatening me that he would walk away, yet never did. He would wait until I made a move to rectify things. (Hicks, Dorsky, Dunetz/Yidwithlid - the EXACT same. Please read LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR.) Because he played on my caring instincts.

Now since I no longer made that move it has been silent. I know now it would have been silent a lot sooner if I had not tried so hard to preserve what he made me believe we had and meant to one another. (he's moved on - has new objects, victims... er friends... LOL. The only person that means anything to him - is HIM)
Looking back, I wasted a lot of time on him. He was never worth any of it. (Yes but you are continuing to educate people about this type of cyberpath - and Doug is common. Nothing special here - so start reading readers! This is a great insight into a classic CYBERPATH!)

He made my life a misery. Beckstead turned from what I thought was a friendly confidante into someone who purposely used & traumatized me. He seduced & coerced me into thinking he was a genuine person. (SEDUCED and BRAINWASHED!)

I was trying to make a go of things for myself personally with my partner and family and he almost sabotaged that purposely because of his cruel head games. (Hicks ended up doing a year in jail and is back in for violating probation - he went RIGHT BACK to preying on 10 -12 women simultaneously using various aliases on Online Dating sites! on unlimited probation for his games & bigamy. Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid contributed to 2 divorces and is continuing to blame his victims for his miserable life - Mike Campbell contributed to divorces and trauma for his victims. You are not alone!)

Interestingly enough, he told me his mother is an alcoholic, that he has no contact with her, that he detests her. (Read up on Narcissists and their relationship with their mothers. Beckstead's probably a misogynist too) He told me had to raise his younger siblings while his father was off onto his third wife. (and Beckstead's wife probably raised his kids while he was screwing around online & off with other victims) He has a religious background. (so does Mike Campbell, Dan Jacoby and Dunetz/ Yidwithlid they all profess to be VERY religious. Gag -- unless their 'place of worship' is their bathroom mirror!)

From: "Doug Beckstead"
Subject: Yes, I Am Mad Now (that you CAUGHT ME... AGAIN!)
Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2006

Alright, now I'm starting to get a bit bent out of shape here. This is not my fault yet you seem to have already made up your mind that it is, so I suppose I should simply say, go ahead, blame it on me and tell me that it must be something that I am doing wrong because I obviously do not have the same luck as you have when calling or texting from down there. It's all my damn fault! (yes Doug, it is) I'm totally incapable of working a damn cell phone -- even though I have been using one for years! (then how about an HONEST ANSWER!)

I just tried calling your cell phone number, the one that you sent on the cell phone and the one that you sent via the e-mail earlier today. I tried calling them on both my cell phone and my regular "land line." Neither one worked. (lie)

In fact, I got a computerized operator that said "If you are trying to make a call you must first dial XXX." In the case of ************ that is****. I tried calling your regular number and got a busy signal. (lie lie lie and the victim has no way of proving he's lying but considering that Beckstead does nothing BUT lie... you figure it out! --wink--)

I'm trying all I can from this end and what do I get back from your end ..... "it looks like another door closing from your end." Go ahead, think and believe what you want to think and believe. (She finally 'listened' to your ACTIONS Doug, not your WORDS. Because your words are garbage)

Well, if you are going to continually be blaming me and trying to see the worst thing possible then maybe I need to just call it quits here and just walk away. I answered your questions that I thought where the most important in that e-mail and all you do is jump on me saying that I didn't answer all of them. (LOL - this is all so much bull we'll just let you think up your own response for it, readers!)

Damnit I'm getting really tired of this. And yes, I am angry now. You act as though everything should work perfectly because someone on your end says it should work. Well, obviously it is not working. And what do you do? You insinuate that (1) I am not doing anything to try and find out why it doesn't work on my end, (2) I'm obviously not trying at all, and (3) I must not want it to work. (insinuate? or the logical conclusion from your selfish narcissistic behavior? Why don't you admit that the Beckstead family had a SHARED cell-phone provider and you would have had to explain certain phone calls around the country to your wife & kids?! Nope, Beckstead has to hurt yet another vulnerable person to TRAUMA BOND her to him further.)

Now, since I just tried calling your regular phone line and got a busy signal, should I assume that: (1) you obviously don't have time for me; (2) you don't want to talk to me; and (3) you're closing me out of your life. Of course not! Those are obviously assinine assumptions to make! (but of course the asinine one is you Doug, for taking a decent person for a sick ride. Online... where you can just click her on & off when you feel like it)

Why do you continue to do this and then expect everything to be just like it used to be? (because you made her promises and now you got bored and are projecting, Dougie)