NLP, Mind Control and Seduction

We talk a great deal on this site about the seduction techniques used by cyberpaths. Similar techniques are used by seducers offline as well. Anyone - we mean ANYONE - irregardless of how smart or savvy you are - is a potential target.

This doesn't make you stupid, gullible or irresponsible.

These techniques are used by Advertisers, Marketers, Politicians, even Con Men and Success Seminar Gurus. We are exposed to it every day - so much so that we no longer see it. NLP can be a powerful tool -- but in the hands of exploitative pathologicals? LOOK OUT!

Here's some clickable links we hope you read to learn more about the science of everyday seduction:

NLP = NeuroLinguistic Programming

Review of The Art of Seduction

Influence at work -- Site that explains the different tools of influence and how they're used. Based on Cialdini's 7 Principles of influence.

Encyclopedia of NLP -- Defines key terms in NLP, a collection of psychological influence and therapeutic techniques.

Neurosemantics.com -- great online resource for NLP, state control and modelling.

How to Become an Irresistible and Hypnotic Communicator.

Cognitive Dissonance - A definition and how it works. (Something we all do everyday!)

Influence Women With the Power of a Cult Leader! - sound like a joke? Then why do all the cyberpaths sound so much ALIKE??

Seduce Women Using Seduction Techniques

Don Juan Discussion Forum Yes, you were right ladies - they DO discuss how to do it! and this is not the only forum where these predators discuss this stuff

Make Any Woman Sexually Addicted to You - one of Sammy Benoit aka yidwithlid's (first profiled in Feb. 2005) playbooks; verified to us by law enforcement

Life of Brian Not only does he blog about it - he makes a living giving how to seminars.

Erotic Hypnosis & Hypno-Seduction - "The state of arousal is created to overcome resistance or, even better, to lead the victim of the seduction process to apparently take control of the situation, by performing the physical action ultimately desired by the seducer or the seductress."

The Sage of Seduction are we starting to get the picture here?

CLICK HERE FOR A GREAT GRAPHIC THAT EXPLAINS NLP!!

Conditions for mind control:
Psychologist Margaret Singer described in her book "Cults in our Midst" six conditions, which would, she says, create an atmosphere where thought reform (online predators 'groom' their prey using thought reform) is possible. Singer sees no need for physical coercion.

-- controlling a persons time and environment, leaving no time for thought (sweeping you off your feet??)

-- creating a sense of powerlessness, fear and dependency ("need")

-- manipulating rewards and punishments to suppress former social behavior ("if you... then I will")

-- manipulating rewards and punishments to elicit the desired behavior (disappearing offline without warning or when you have trouble and need them the most? all TALK no actions to back it up?)

-- creating a closed system of logic which makes dissenters feel as if something was wrong with them (making you feel guilty or that you don't 'love' or 'care for' them if you go against the cyberpath's wishes?)

-- keeping recruits unaware about any agenda to control or change them (comments like: "I would never hurt you, I would never lie to you, I can't believe you think I am lying/ using you...." etc)

(sounds like abuse..... doesn't it?)

"The descendants of Casanova of our time are called Ross Jeffries, Major Mark Cunningham, Rob Johnson and David De Angelo. They organize seminars and then sell audio- and videotapes on which their techniques for the allure and capture of worthy specimen of the female gender are taught.

For our purposes, especially the material by Ross Jeffries is interesting, since his "Female Psychic Attack" - techniques often tap into the power of NLP for eliciting states of arousal. One of the techniques used by Jeffries for states elicitation is the use of metaphors to stimulate images of sexual nature by bypassing the filtering of the conscious mind. [...]

[...] elements that are necessary for creating an emotional basis for a sexual act, really anticipating it, while he is apparently talking about a documentary he saw, and therefore cannot be blamed for explicit sexual talk. The real information gets through the filtering of the conscious and is perfectly understood by the subconscious of the target, who then creates the desired images of sexual content in her mind, intensifying therefore the state elicited through the embedded commands that Ross speaks out.

Our Speed Seducer has developed hundreds of patterns like the one mentioned before, all ready to be used by his students. But these scripts are not the only interesting aspect of Ross' work: Weasel phrases like "if I were to say to you", for example, tend to introduce a daring compliment or proposal while contemporarily providing a step-back path. Ross provides his students with many of these conversational tools. [...]

A folkloristic note about Mr. Speed Seduction: the guy interpreted in Magnolia by Tom Cruise is based on the character of Ross Jeffries, though you will find in that movie no valuable information in regard of his taught material and his seminars (as well as his behaviour on stage) are much different than the one seen in the movie, though he surely is proud of his masculinity. [...] - [quoted from: Keys To Erotic Hypnosis]

Just keep all this in mind when dealing with a cyberpath or anyone online. And realize that while we don't believe in or espouse not taking responsibility - how can anyone be themselves or make informed decisions when they are being coercively controlled & manipulated?

Remember this next time you say "I was so stupid to fall for it" or wonder what red flags you missed or didn't see or even 'what's wrong with me?'.

Like slight of hand - these predators are good at getting you reeled in before you know what hit you. - EOPC

Dinner, Movie -- and a BACKGROUND CHECK -- for Online Daters

Kimberly Hall was twice betrayed by men she met dating online. Both turned out to be married.

So she started doing background checks on her dates using a Web site called Intelius. Now, the 33-year-old from Laurel is engaged to a man she met on Blackplanet.com, but even he had to undergo record checks.

"He wasn't happy" about doing it, Hall said of her fiance. But eventually he turned over his Social Security number.

In the past decade, sites such as Yahoo Personals, Match.com and eHarmony helped make Web-based courtship mainstream for 10 million current daters. But some seasoned veterans say the thrill of using the Internet's power to find soul mates has given way to caution. Singles now draw on a growing arsenal of security and research tools -- from services that verify identity and background to companies that provide temporary phone numbers as a barrier to stalkers.

TO READ THIS WHOLE ARTICLE CLICK HERE

(thanks to OneofSeven for sending us this good find!)

"SEDUCING WOMEN ONLINE"

(most of the first part of this post is a joke - poking fun at sites that instruct men (and women) how to seduce people online. However - many a truth is said in jest - and we felt it instructional for our readers. And enjoy a little tongue-in-cheek levity! - EOPC)

I was surfing the World Wide Web, and I came across some websites charging guys for advice on how to seduce women online. I thought this was not right. I probably know more about the subject then they do, so I decided to write an article on it. Also, just like a fat drugged stripper I am giving it up for free.

What should a guy do after he gets a woman's e-mail address?
I like to send my online ladies anonymous emails advertising new and improved drugs for STDs, and wait and see if they respond. You can never be too safe. There is one thing you should learn about women. They love constant attention. Since you are talking to her online you should probably give her double the attention. That means a constant stream of emails. Probably 5 or 6 a day. Each day increase your tone of urgency, and decrease the accuracy of your spelling and grammar. This lets her know you are a passionate person, and women love passion. Remember you want to be the only thing on her mind so flood that mailbox. (this sounds horrifically like every cyberpath we've profiled so far!)

What should I say in my first message to her?
It is always good to start with some sort of joke. Usually one belittling a minority ethnic group will work.

Once you have broken the ice with the joke, make the message as personal as possible. Women love guys that open up. I suggest just opening up the dam right away, and letting loose with all your personal baggage. Let her know your insecurities, and freakiest desires. Tell her how often you masturbate. If you have had homoerotic fantasies, now is the time to let her know. She will be very impressed with your openness and immediately recognize the connection you just made with her.

Do not bother asking her about the minor details of her life. Instead, dive right into its most personal aspects. Ask her if she was molested as a child. To show her you care about her, question her mental health. Ask her if she has any suicidal thoughts or tendencies. After a deep message like this, your bond with her should be rock solid.

What if she doesn't respond to him?
Ahh she enjoys the chase huh. The old cat and mouse game. If she does not respond, she obviously requires more overt displays of affection and passion. Write her professing your undying love and commitment to her. Tell her you cannot live with out her. Tell her your passion is so great that her not responding to you makes you want to do her harm. Women love that. It lets them know that you care, and that you are a man of action. (funny yes - but threats of harm can land you in jail!)

What if she threatens to call the police?
Oh, she is a feisty little minx. Do not be deterred by Johnny Law. All women believe that love will conquer all, and this is just a test to see if you have the drive to land her. Tell her that no law either god's or man's can keep you from her. Tell her that you relish every obstacle in the way, because it only deepens your desire and love for her. Beg her to get a restraining order, because that will show you that you mean something to her. (Unfortunately, for an online sociopath - this last line is often true)

What should a guy do when she asks to see a picture?
Women do not expect you to give them an actual picture of yourself. Just search the Internet for a picture of some male model and send her that. Don't worry about her getting the wrong idea. Women just want to see how resourceful you are.

What if she isn't attractive in her picture?
Relax bud. It is pretty well established rule that women are much, much better looking in person than they are in their Internet pictures. If she looks a little ogreish and chunky in the picture. Just assume that it is bad lighting and she is much thinner now. Trust me.

What do I do once I get her phone number?
Verify that it is legitimate. Do this by calling and hanging up a few times. (LOL - but also a good way to get arrested)

When you call her for real, let her know that you cannot believe she actually gave you her number. This shows that you are appreciative. Make sure she knows that you like her in a sexual way. Tell her, her voice sounds sexy. Ask what she is wearing. Question the state of moisture in her panties. Also, inquire as to whether or not she is touching herself at the present point in time. These are the signals she needs to assure her that you do in fact want to stuff her box.

What should a guy do if a woman he is talking to online is nervous about meeting him in person?
Mmmm a timid temptress. Seducing her should be a pleasure.

First, do not play along with her timid games. Urgently suggest that you meet as soon as possible. Let her know that if you wait any longer to meet her you are liable to go crazy, and can not possibly be held accountable for your actions. (This sounds a lot like Jeff Dunetz with his 'can't control' nonsense)

To put her more at ease tell her you have "a big surprise waiting for her". Women love surprises.

Some women might be nervous because they are scared to go out in public. To be safe assure her that you are taking her some place private, and dark.

What should a guy do once she agrees to meet him?
Heyyy-Ohhh! If a girl you meet online has agreed to meet you that means she is ready for you to f*ck her. She is probably very comfortable with you and totally into you. What you need to do is just close the deal. Tell her you are going to take her to dinner or a party.
When you pick her up do not really say anything to her or look at her for that matter. This makes you seem mysterious, and will heighten her erotic desires. Drive to a deserted location. Whip out your **** and say, "dinner is served" or "here is the party *****". Women love spontaneous men, and since she is already so into you, she should be all over your ****. Score!

FROM THIS SITE

Here's a real seduction site - this part is NOT a joke and a scary site that! CLICK HERE
(this part is NOT a joke - it is very real. Did your predator do this to you?)

LOVE BOMBING - A favorite technique of Cyberpaths
The term "Love Bombing" originated with the Moonies to describe a step in their process of conversion. Cyberpaths use it to coerce and brainwash their targets and promote thought reform so the targets/ prey will do what they want WITHOUT QUESTION. Targets are overwhelmed with attention which makes them feel special, loved, and an important part of the new "online relationship."

Aspects of this technique include, but are not limited to flattery, verbal seduction, affectionate, as it goes along - cybersex or sexual conversion and lots of attention. (Singer, p 114)

Geri-Ann Galanti, a cult researcher, experienced love bombing. Regarding a very personal compliment she received, she stated, "Even though I knew it was a manipulative technique, I wanted to believe she meant it, and I decided that she really did. After all, it matched my own perception of myself." Recovery from Cults, p 98.

Love-bombing instills trust. It is impossible to think of the new person as harmful, because are so friendly & seemingly honest (its all a game to them). They seem so supportive and nice; how can this be wrong?

Love-bombing can produce a physical, mental & emotional "high." Prey/ targets can come to feel dependent on this feeling and the safety net of talking to the cyberpath. It also makes them feel loyal and dedicated, as they now may feel they owe the cyberpath some attention or even money & goods in return. Targets often mistake this for "being IN LOVE" and the Cyberpath only encourages & cements this perception.

Cyberpaths frequently use all kinds of "friendshipping"techniques to find new and retain targets/ prey. This includes befriending, coercing and sometimes love bombing the initial target's friends (see the stories of Jeff Dunetz/ Gridney/ Yidwithlid or Dan Jacoby!). Sometimes this friendship is sincere, but more often than not, it is superficial. Sometimes the cyberpath does this to isolate the friends from each other so they can never put the "full story" together. (They tell each friend that the other is "obsessed with" them or "stalking" them & demand secrecy) They are not really interested in someone as a person who they would honestly like to get to know -- they are interested in them as a potential target!

When the Cyberpath gets bored, or something happens to make the target "inconvenient" for them (spouses/ family members find out) or the target gets wise to them, love is withdrawn. This is the opposite of love bombing, a total withdrawal of love and support as a punishment for going against the Cyberpath's wishes or simply the Cyberpath being bored. This is NEVER the target's fault though the Cyberpath will try to make them believe that it is!

Furthermore, love bombing helps silence complaints and criticism, long after the initial predation. The target will feel 'responsible' and the cyberpath will say the target 'did it too' or is 'just as guilty' - often the target believes it and feels tremendous shame and guilt. Be assured this is TOTALLY the doing & fault of the cyberpath - no one else.

Here's a great discussion on LOVE BOMBING - something Cyberpaths do!

DO THEY EVER ADMIT THEY LIED OR TWISTED THE FACTS?

"The NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) illusion of superiority is a facet of a generalized disdain for reality. These individuals feel unconstrained by rules, customs, limits, and discipline.

Their world is filled with self-fiction in which conflicts are dismissed, failures redeemed, and self-pride is effortlessly maintained. They easily devise plausible reasons to justify self-centered and inconsiderate behavior. Their memories of past relationships are often illusory and changing.

If rationalizations and self-deception fail, individuals with NPD are vulnerable to dejection, shame, and a sense of emptiness. Then they have little recourse other than fantasy. They have an uninhibited imagination and engage in self-glorifying fantasies. What is unmanageable through fantasy is repressed and kept from awareness.

As they consistently devalue others, they do not question the correctness of their own beliefs; they assume that others are wrong.

The characteristic difficulties of individuals with NPD almost all stem from their lack of solid contact with reality. If the false image of self becomes substantive enough, their thinking will become peculiar and deviant. Then their defensive maneuvers become increasingly transparent to others (Millon & Davis, 1996, pp. 405-423).

Sharon C. Ekleberry, Dual Diagnosis and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

DO THEY EVER ADMIT THEY ARE LYING OR TWISTED THE FACTS?

from this site

(EOPC believes Cyberpathy is probably an expression of Malignant Narcissism and/or Sociopathy)

We work to try to understand the essence of the narcissist. When I was trying to explain the N to a friend, she understood an N as someone not "able to face the pain of imagining they did something wrong". I wasn't sure about this so did a quick internet search on narcissists and admitting wrong and accepting fault, and got these quotes:

- The narcissist sometimes notices that something is wrong with him and with his life -- but he never admits it.

- ... the narcissist is incapable of admitting that something is wrong with HIM

- They will never admit fault, they will never say they are sorry. If something goes wrong, they will play the victim. They will blame others.

- Remember they will never admit they are wrong, they will never debase themselves with an real apology. They will never laugh at themselves.

"[I suspect my husband is a narcissist]... He tries to place blame on anyone and everyone but himself."

- Narcissists ...live for themselves, they think they can do no wrong and will not admit to wrongdoing [re: traits common to 6 year olds and adult narcissists]

- [For the narcissist] to admit to one failing, to acknowledge a mistake, even a simple human error of judgment, would be to open the door to the deep internal lack within. ... Such feelings of worthlessness are like an ocean being held back by a fragile dyke. The illusion of perfection, maintained by projecting faults onto someone else, is a barrier to be constantly tended, mended and shored up. To admit any feelings of deficiency would be the equivalent of poking a hole in the dyke, an event to be feared as a total disaster.

Narcissists blame all problems on the "all-bad." It's never the narcissist's fault; it's always someone else's.

The last paragraph speaks truly from a narcissist's perspective. It's the victim's fault.

If the two of you have a conflict, he'll tweak the facts as much as he has to to make it all your fault. (And if you EXPOSE the Narcissistic Cyberpath? Expect the SAME treatment as well as a full-tilt hate & smear-campaign!)

"His perverse way of turning everything into my fault and his blaming left me battered and exhausted."

Narcissists
Externalization of Blame -- The child cannot allow the bad feelings of being at fault for anything. He/ she/ they/ YOU are the problem!

He avoids feeling vulnerable by blaming others. The fragile self esteem cannot be punctured by taking responsibility for behavior. His script is "Do not expose me to those intolerable feelings inside. I can't handle it."

For making a change (whether great or small) implies that the narcissist has been two things they "cannot stand": imperfect (something is actually wrong with "them") and at fault ("they" actually were wrong, weak, or inferior somehow).

It can't be THEIR fault - THEY are perfect.

The narcissist says in effect, "Something doesn't feel right. I'm too special to be the cause, therefore it must be your fault."

EOPC is loaded with examples of this, here's our sampling:
(scroll over content to find embedded links)

BRAD DORSKY - According to him his victim supposedly 'led him on.' Dorsky not only tried to rage at his victim, he sent a "friend" to EOPC to find out who exposed him.

Obviously, DORSKY thought we were a bunch of barely legal kids on a social networking site; his favorite sort of target!

Dorsky said the relationship was 'consensual.' This is a common one! A relationship can not possibly be consentual when the victim does not know the truthful facts to make an appropriate decision.

• Lying to her
  
• Telling her she's the only one
• Playing mind games with her
• Moving in on her when she & her husband/ partner/ family are having a hard time
• Moving in when she's vulnerable
• Having a 'hidden agenda'

...does not make for consensual.
It does make for predatory exploitation!

CHARLES "ED" HICKS aka CHARLES GREENE - This guy's a piece of work. Said in court, to a judge, after 2 of his 7 known wives were questioned and hard, clear legal documentation was researched and presented by an Assistant D.A.: "It's false, all false." Guess that orange jumpsuit should have been a straightjacket.

Has recently gone back on dating sites under various nicknames using CHARLES HICKS or CHARLES GREENE to try to defuse people googling ED HICKS and finding out he's the 'Dr. Phil Bigamist.'

Tells people he's retired from a government job (he was fired and his security clearance revoked).

Additionally is not always honest about his criminal record on the numerous dating sites he's on now. This includes his using new names or versions of names on the dating sites.

On the Dating Sites he states his age as 56 LOL! (Shaves off about 9+ years)

(Here's the best one EOPC's heard!) Rumor has it that HICKS tells new prey he is shopping for a publisher for his book where he will tell the truth (he means his version of it a.k.a. complete fiction) and show how two of his wives 'set him up just to get on T.V. (EOPC is sure they had a great time telling the world how naive & used they were by Mr. Hicks) and have lied about him as well as them being 'mean' to his children (a.k.a. feeding, clothing, housing and taking care of his kids during their marriages while these kids sponged everything they could off them and various girlfriends of Mr. Hicks' simultaneously - just like Daddy!).

Additionally he says he plans to 'take legal action" against the producers of "Dr. Phil" and the WE show VERY BAD MEN who profiled him and showed him a bad light and ruined his good name!

Good luck with that, Mr. Hicks... Maybe now that O.J.'s in jail Hicks can help keep on looking for that illusive "real killer."

WILLIAM MICHAEL BARBER - back in jail after leaving the State in which he was incarcerated without permission and found having a false Social Security Card & Number and falsified identity papers on him. (After his wives and victims repeatedly told probation officers he would do it again and he was let out of jail early anyway!)..

BARBER was also profiled on the WE show VERY BAD MEN. He was released October 2007 so be careful! Spread the word about this serial predator! Don't you think these people would be thrilled they are so famous?

Sammy Benoit/ GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID - Where to begin with this one?
1. EOPC ran his expose for the third time in June 2007. This time he became of aware of it and he attacked one of his victims as the sole person causing him "public embarrassment." He gave no acknowledgment that his real name and location were not used by us on this site, at this same victim's request.

No mention that his new nickname and website are now linked to yet another 'false personna and location' made up by him.

No thank you for the consideration one of the victim he decided to bully showed his family. Typical of the backwards reactions of pathological persons!


2. Sammy Benoit/ Jeff Dunetz/ Yidwithlid blames just one person for all the postings about him despite her trying to get them taken down in March of 2007. (Now which one of EOPC's victims really controls the internet? All our Cyberpaths swear its THEIR victim!)

On a website she finally felt she had to make to combat the relentless smear, she had documentation stating the primary reason site owners, including us, would not remove him - because SHE WAS NOT THE PERSON WHO HAD POSTED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

All Cyberpaths have this "because THEY say it's so - has to be REALITY!" trait... please re-read the paragraph at the top of this article for our take on this pervasive trait of Cyberpaths

And as she said on her site (which she closed for a while to try to calm things down - to no avail we would guess - considering Dunetz is a remorseless bully), IF she (or anyone) had done something that heinous and he has hard proof -- Why isn't she in jail or doing community service? Why hasn't he sued her? (Our guess? Because then the REAL TRUTH about him and his escapades would come out!)

3. Dunetz swears it was 'consensual', but also neglects to mention that none of their targets knew they:

• had online casual sex partner-wanted ads since 2000 (he started up with the first victim we know of in 2002)
• was seeing sexual escorts at brothels (two brothels are now closed in part to him threatening this same victim, her going to the police and the police finding out that he was posting online about his exploits at this brothel. [By the way, Yidwithlid -- this Madam is BACK IN BUSINESS! But you probably know that already] Good going, GRIDNEY / YidwithLid!)
• the police found his computer to be full of porn and his credit cards traced back to phone sex lines from 1999/ 2000

-----------------------

1. Did any of his targets know this?
2. Did he tell any of his targets he was lying and it was 'just a game' to him?
3. Did his targets know he was playing with their emotions & using them for freebies?
4. Did we mention he's tried to erase it all and say it never existed or was planted? (His excuse is that its "hurting his wife" - since he was doing this since 1999; according to police - why didn't he think about that the FIVE years PRIOR to victimizing these women?)
5. And what do these targets have to do with HIS sex addiction?

Sound familiar?

Again -

A relationship cannot possibly be consentual when the victim does not know the truthful facts to make an appropriate decision.

• Lying,
• telling her she's the only one and you've never done this before,
• playing mind games with her,
• moving in quickly on her when she & her husband/ partner are separating,
• not supporting her when her husband/partner finds out about their online affair and abuses her worse,
• knowing she's mentally & emotionally vulnerable,
• as well as having a 'hidden agenda' does not make for consensual.

It does make for predatory exploitation.

According to these predators their victims aren't allowed be hurt, complain or look for support either. And they just deny, deny, deny. How's that for 'nice guys'?


DOUG BECKSTEAD - an "investigator" from the Air Force Base which Beckstead's associated wrote us and subsequently one of his victims trying to find out who she was, get her to phone them, etc etc. How much should we bet that it was one of Beckstead's buddies trying to be sure which of his online victims blew the whistle on his online predation so Beckstead could attack her?

Beckstead came here and ALSO tried to say it was "all a game" and his victims "knew what they were getting into." Incredible gall, but familiar. Again, Beckstead neglects to factor in that:

• Lying,
• telling her she's the only one,
• playing mind games with her, moving in on her when she & her husband are having problems,
• lying to other targets about your numerous online affairs & porn addiction,
• while knowing she's emotionally vulnerable,
• as well as having a 'hidden agenda'

DOES NOT MAKE FOR CONSENSUAL.
IT DOES MAKE FOR PREDATORY EXPLOITATION.

Again:
A relationship cannot possibly be consentual when the victim does not know the truthful facts to make an appropriate decision.

Guess what! Beckstead was mentioned in the same Air Force Base's newspaper so - he must have been looking to clean up his image before they added to his overblown ego. Rumor has it he's got another victim 'on the hook' already. Watch out, he likes to portray those used-up sources of his as MENTALLY ILL - when in fact these cyberpaths appear to be the ones with 'mental issues.'

He's even tried to tell people that her exposure of him only HELPED HIM... and hurt his victims! LOL - too much protesting, huh? Don't we already know what he's telling his latest victim?

All the stuff he's posted (and continues to post) all over the web - trying to drown out the truth and glorify his 'reputation' when he's really a predator!

JULIA BISH-JUDAH-HUNT-McGOVERN? Just look at her interview. That says it all about how 'innocent' she considers herself after meeting men online and marrying them without even meeting them in person, among other things.

Completely nuts and a serial predator!

PHIL HABERMAN - click here for an update on this story. Haberman continues to use the legal system against ANYONE who has his number and speaks out about it.


UPDATE: LORI DREW - the real "Josh Evans" and Tormentor of the Late Megan Meier - who not only sued the Meiers for a destroyed foosball table but when she ran into the Meiers told them to "give it a rest" about her CAUSING Megan's suicide. Sick beyond belief. Convicted on 3 misdemeanor counts, may face civil action.


DAN JACOBY - turns to his "old standby" of smearing his victim, saying she's 'crazy' and doesn't have the "love of God in her heart." Of course he owes his victim money for things she bought him (he told her he was divorced and broke - NOT!).

Jacoby? Mr. Nice Guy? 1. Well turns out this predator took webshots of his victims during chat sessions without telling them and threatens to post them online if they expose him. Then he changed and scrubbed everything and went to the police to say his victim was "harassing" him. Why would you need to do that Dan, if you were HONEST?

Guess what? These women LOVED you and you can't do anything wrong if you love someone. The scumbag liar? is YOU! Besides what kind of sicko-perv picks on vulnerable women trying to recover from prescription drugs??


The two things all our predators seem to universally hate:

1. being called an abuser
2. being called a PREDATOR

Ouch!! -- yet their victims are not allowed to feel hurt or pain? That's the cyberpath's sociopathic self - the real self with no empathy - coming out.

Do you think that when these predators behind a keyboard find out they are wrong about their assumptions they apology to us or their victims? go ahead and guess!

The "scorned woman" defense. The "they are lying/ making it all up/ obsessed with me/ stalkers/ just jealous/ never happened" defense. The "she had it coming" excuse!

You name it - you'll hear it with these people. Unfortunately sometimes their families or friends still believe them. Until its too late and they are caught doing it again.

Do we see a pattern here? As it says above: IT'S NEVER THEIR FAULT. MUST BE THE INVISIBLE PERSON OR THEIR VICTIM! NEVER THEM!

By the way, any Cyberpath who wants to write a full and accurate confession as well as an open, honest apology to any of the victims they have hurt, caused emotional & mental trauma, forced into counseling, caused rifts in their families, raged at, used and abused... we would be more than happy to publish it for you and see to it your victims get a copy of your healing words as well.

PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED

(an article everyone who goes online should read; whether you are an abuse survivor - or just vulnerable! - EOPC)

An abuse survivor e-mailed me saying how she seemed to attract men who want to exploit her. On the other hand, good people seemed to run from her. Tragically, this is the common experience of abuse survivors, whether they be men or women. I had often puzzled as to why this is. The woman sent me a couple of photos of herself and suddenly I understood. No, she was not dressed to seduce.

The reply I sent her was a little gentler than the following, but here is the essence of what I said:

Your photos, though nice, give the impression that you are sad, shy, lacking in confidence and aching for love. An evil man (cyberpath/predator) might look at those photos and think to himself, “I bet her self-esteem is so low that she thinks no decent guy would want her. Her need for love and for a boost in self-esteem seem so great that if I let her think that I could meet these needs, she would be so scared of losing me that she would give me anything I want, no matter how perverted. (sounds EXACTLY like Yidwithlid, Beckstead,Capers and Jacoby)

If I initially treat her tenderly and kindly and flatter her, I’ll have a good chance of turning her into little more than my slave. Then I could treat her however I wish.” (read our past Predator exposes: Hicks, GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid, Jacoby, & Beckstead in particular!)

If, on the other hand, a man saw you as happy, confident and relatively content, he’d assume you are quite choosy as to who you relate to and how far you would go. He’d assume you have none of the desperation that pressures some women to compromise their morals to get the love they crave.

Anyone with evil intentions would be likely to back off and look for someone who seems more vulnerable.

Not only could this be a factor in men with evil intent being attracted to you, it could cause good men (or good women who are lesbians) to feel tempted to try to get their way with you. Because they are honorable, they are likely to run from you, fearing that if they stayed close to you they might yield to that temptation.

Regardless of how resistant to sexual pressure they really are, people with low self-esteem and who crave love give the impression that they are vulnerable to exploitation and/or seduction. Upon finding such a person, immoral people feel emboldened to test their suspicion that they have found someone they could seduce.

People lacking in self-esteem are likely to mistakenly believe that sex – not their personality – is their only way of winning the love they desperately need.

They fall for the horrible lie that their only chance of receiving even an illusion of the love they crave is to yield to sexual advances.

This makes them highly vulnerable. So intense is the pressure, that they need far superior self-control than what other people need in order to remain sexually pure. Moreover, abuse survivors are strongly tempted to accept the lie that because they have been mistreated before, they have little purity left to protect.

As if these strong pressures were not enough, abuse survivors find resisting an evil man much harder than other people find it because they have suffered the past horror of having done everything possible to resist and yet still being overpowered. Having suffered situations in which resistance was impossible causes them to lose hope that they could ever successfully prevent anyone from exploiting them. They become convinced that any attempt to resist would be a futile waste of effort.

Sexual & Emotional predators know this, so they are on the look out for emotional/ verbal/ mental/ or sexual abuse survivors!

A tragically large number of abuse survivors have mistakenly thought that perhaps they have low morals or are evil or that God is against them, since that they seem to attract sexual predators. This is most certainly not so. The thought is so obviously incorrect that, theoretically, there should be no need to deny it.

Sadly, it needs to be spelt out because sexual offenders are skilled at cruelly manipulating tender consciences, causing their victims to have a mistaken view of themselves.

The truth is that abuse survivors tend to attract repeat offenses simply because they are hurting, and sexual predators, like beasts of prey, think the wounded might be an easier target.


Knowing why the wrong sort of people might try to exploit you can be a relief. There is nothing wrong with you, other than the simple fact that you are hurting. I am sure what you really want to know, however, is how to prevent this attention. It’s easy to say that self-esteem, confidence and feeling loved is the answer, but the difficulty is knowing how to grow in these things.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE

Quotes from Cheaters to their Partners/Spouses

'SILLY' THINGS ONLINE CHEATERS SAY!!

Cheaters come up with the wildest stories, especially if they get caught unexpectedly!

What my ex said when I questioned her late nights on the net:
"I am writing a romance novel"

My cheater said:
"you are so suspicious, you need help because its all in your head"

My cheater said:
"Oh, she is just like a sister to me, that's all"

My cheater said:
"I wouldn't do that to you. I swear"

I 'swear' he said:
"Do you believe me or your own eyes?"

My cheater said:
"we were talking about his girlfriend's problems"

My cheater said:
"You are trying to control me and it is not going to be that way"

My cheater said:
"I don't know why I gave her my phone number"

My cheater said:
"It's a fatal attraction"

What my husband said when I called his cell phone and it clicked on while he was having sex with another woman:
"it wasn't me! The cell phones must have been crossed with someone else's"

After I finally decided to remotely tap into my wife's computer after months of her staying up all night in internet chat rooms to find love messages between her and another man. My cheater said:
"Why were you spying on me?"

My cheater said:
"I don't start the conversations on the IM, I only respond after she starts talking first"

My cheater said:
"yes I have a girlfriend, but we don't have sex, I discuss with her the problems we are having in our marriage"

My cheater said:
"I didn't think you loved me"

This was after my fiance went out with a "friend" and had sex with her. What a fiance, huh? My cheater said:
"Nothing is happening, we are just friends, and enjoy each others company. You are really blowing this out of proportion"

My cheater said:
"why were you checking my phone anyway?"

my cheater said:
"I have a present for you and if you don't go away I won't give it to you"

My cheater said:
"I'm going on another business trip"

My cheater said:
"I wasn't sending the emails to her. I was sending them to her computer"

My cheater said:
"We are just buddies and nothing else!"

My cheater said:
"I was just curious"

My cheater said:
"If you were a better wife and a better lover, i would not have to turn to other married women. If you would join me in the swinger's lifestyle, it would not be considered cheating since you would be right there with me."

My cheater said:
"I don't wear my wedding ring because I am allergic to it."

My cheater said:
"I just wanted to have a friend of my own"

My cheater said:
"I was peer pressured into it"

My cheater said:
"I thought about you the whole time it was happening"

My cheater said:
"I could never bring myself to cheat on you. That girl that called claiming we had sex was a basket case, a nutjob. Ask anyone"
(How many times have we heard? "she's a stalker; she's a scorned woman; she's crazy; she's lying; she's stalking/ obsessed with me; she's mentally ill... " BALONEY! Don't buy it!)

My cheater said:
"are YOU cheating?"

My cheater said:
"I can't say no to him"

My cheater said:
"It's only harmless flirting... it's not like I was ever going to meet her"

My cheater said:
"With every one of them, I fantasized it was you"

My cheater said:
"She's a good friend of my mother"

My cheater said:
"I missed you and she looked like you"

My cheater said:
"Oh that number on my cellphone is just a side job."

My cheater said:
"I couldn't get a signal on my cell phone to call you and tell you that I was too tired to drive 1 1/2hrs to our home"

My cheater said:
"If I wanted to cheat, I wouldn't be cheating with a married woman"

(LOL - cyberpaths love to PICK ON ABUSED, MARRIED, DIVORCED, OVERLY TRUSTING, NAIVE or DISABLED women! )

My cheater said:
"The only reason i was talking to her was about us"

what my husband told me when I found a strange number on the caller Id box:
"I am dealing with a bookie for gambling and didn't want you to find out"

My cheater said:
"I would never do that to you, i love you babe, you should trust me"

Right up until I handed him the phone with her on the other end. My cheater said:
"I can't break up with her instead of you because you can handle it better"

My cheater said:
"I'm just giving you the time and the space that you need"

One cheater said:

"She's been obsessed with me since we worked together (went to college, high school, etc... together) and I am trying to let her down easy."

NEW!
"I swear, I was ONLY looking at this web site because a buddy of mine is the one who DESIGNED the web site, and he wanted my opinion. Honest honey I would never look at another woman! I was just trying to help my buddy and give him my opinion!"

"...until I read your site, I did not know what Ashley Madison was but it was a recurring charge on our credit card for several years, I forget what he told me it was, but he sure didn't tell me the truth!"

Another cheater said:

"Its all just a game. She knew it when we started. Really just playing around, nothing serious."

(Dunetz/ Yidwithlid., Jacoby, Capers and Beckstead have tried this "just a game" explanation too! It's bull - did their targets KNOW it was a game? Probably not!

Hey Beckstead and Dunetz/ Yidwithlid:

Did you TELL your victims it was a game upfront, or is it convenient to say this now that you're busted? Or were you REALLY saying how much you loved and cared for these women to get free sex? And did you TELL THEM it was just about sex for you? (Our guess?: NO!!)

My cheater said:
"I am just needy. They were only about sex for me. I swear."

One cheater said:

"She stalked me on the internet, when I found out how fat & ugly she was I told her it was off. I would never cheat on you, sweetie"

One cheater said:
"It was all PLANTED!! These women who are obsessed with me planted those online sex ads and the online dating ads!"

Of course there's the outright:

"that never happened,"

"I never said that,"

"he/she is lying/making it up/planted it all"

And the indignant: "I will sue them/ you/ her!"

For a great site with more CLICK HERE

WHAT ARE THEY REALLY DOING ONLINE?

The power of the internet is helping friends, families and loved ones stay more connected than ever. There is a wealth of information and opportunity available on the internet. With this power and opportunity, however, also comes a variety of illicit activities that your child, your lover, or your spouse can become involved in.

Many people throughout the world use the internet to buy products, research information, connect with loved ones and find support for almost anything that ails them. However, there is a very real and serious problem affecting our families and that is the variety of activities that tear at the core of the family and loving and marital relationships.

A recent survey conducted by Focus On The Family and Zogby International found that 1 out of 5 American adults may have looked for sex on the Internet. 20.8% of respondents to a March 8-10 survey admitted they had visited a sexually-oriented Web site. The percentage of those viewing sex sites was higher among males and young adults. An Internet saturated with pornography is making it alarmingly easy to bring sexual temptation right into our homes. This is a growing problem for thousands of families that struggle with the effects of sexual compulsion and addiction, families like Deanne's.

Deanne's Story
Deanne, a wife and mother of five children, was dismayed about the time her husband was spending on their home computer. "He said he was working late at night sometimes not coming to bed until 3 or 4 in the morning. It was rare that we slept together much because he was awake and online." Deanne would sometimes wake up and go check on her husband and sometimes he would be working online and sometimes he was just "surfing".

What caused Deanne more anguish, though, was her husband's demeanor toward her and their children. "He was distant, short, and introspective. He wasn't the same guy." His sex drive was suffering and he became verbally abusive to her and to their children. "He wasn't this way before he started using the computer so much late at night."

"In my gut, I knew something was terribly wrong but I didn't know what it was. One day while on the internet, I was searching for a site I had previously visited and noticed in the history on our internet browser that a chat room at a pornographic site had been visited. I knew I had not been there."

Deanne confronted her husband about it and said he wouldn't do it again. But her husband's strange behavior continued and Deanne needed to know the truth.

"I downloaded a product called Spectorsoft and installed it in less than 5 minutes. What I recorded that night made me sick. Despair, humiliation and betrayal were what I was feeling that next morning when I looked to see where he had been. He wasn't working at all. He was being unfaithful to me."

THE WARNING SIGNS OF A CYBERAFFAIR
Cyberaffairs are more common than people realize. It is not unusual for someone having a cyberaffair to spend at least four hours a day chatting online. To help partners determine if their loved one is cheating, here are the Seven Tell-Tale Signs of a Cyberaffair that you should look out for.

1. Change in sleep patterns - Chat rooms and meeting places for cybersex don't heat up until late at night, so the cheating partner tends to stay up later and later to be part of the action. Often, the partner suddenly begins coming to bed in the early-morning hours, may leap out of bed an hour or two earlier and bolt to the computer for a pre-work e-mail exchange with a new romantic partner may explain things.

2. A demand for privacy - If someone begins cheating on their spouse, whether on-line or in real life, they'll often go to great lengths to hide the truth from their wife or husband. With a cyberaffair, this attempt usually leads to the search for greater privacy and secrecy surrounding their computer usage. The computer may be moved from the visible den to a secluded corner of his locked study, the spouse may change the password, or cloak all his or her online activities in secrecy. If disturbed or interrupted when online, the cheating spouse may react with anger or defensiveness.

3. Household chores ignored - When any Internet user increases his time on-line, household chores often go undone or vehmently complained about. That's not automatically a sign of a cyberaffair, but in a marriage those dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and un-mowed lawns might indicate that someone else is competing for the suspected person's attention. In an intimate relationship, sharing chores often is regarded as an integral part of a basic commitment. So when a spouse begins to invest more time and energy on-line and fails to keep up his or her end of the household bargain, it could signal a lesser commitment to the relationship itself - because another relationship has come between your marriage.

4. Evidence of lying - The cheating spouse may hide credit-card bills for on-line services, telephone/cell bills (often using a work cellphone) to calls made to a cyberlover, and lie (often "WORK" or things billed to work accounts) about the reason for such extensive net use. Most spouses lie to protect their on-line habit, but those engaging in a cyberaffair have a higher stake in concealing the truth, which often triggers bigger and bolder lies - including telling you they will quit, get help, counseling, find religion. (sometimes they do for months or years at a time but without real & ongoing (years of) PSYCHIATRIC help - its rare this sticks.)

5. Personality changes - A spouse is often surprised and confused to see how much their partner's moods and behaviors changed since the Internet engulfed them. A once warm and sensitive wife becomes cold and withdrawn. A formerly jovial husband turns quiet and serious. If questioned about these changes in connection with their Internet habit, the spouse engaging in a cyberaffair responds with heated denials, blaming, and rationalization. Often times, the blame is shifted to the spouse. For a partner once willing to communicate about contentious matters, this could be a smokescreen for a cyberaffair.

6. Loss of interest in sex - Some cyberaffairs evolve into phone sex or an actual rendezvous, but cybersex alone often includes mutual masturbation from the confines of each person's computer room. When a spouse suddenly shows a lesser interest in sex, it may be an indicator that he or she has found another sexual outlet. If sexual relations continue in the relationship at all, the cheating partner may be less enthusiastic, energetic, and responsive to you and your lovemaking or beg for sexual practices that you are not comfortable with. Also be aware of them asking you to do certain things during sex that you haven't done before or are uncomfortable with.

7. Declining investment in your relationship - Those engaged in a cyberaffair no longer want to participate in the marital relationship - even when their busy Internet schedule allows. They shun those familiar rituals like a shared bath, talking over the dishes after dinner, or renting a video on Saturday night. They don't get as excited about taking vacations together and they avoid talk about long-range plans in the family or relationship. They seem to plan more "out of town, work related trips." Often, they are having their fun with someone else, and their thoughts of the future revolve around fantasies of running off or hooking up with their cyberpartner - not building intimacy with a Spouse.

Technology Makes Stalking Too Easy

Beware of how technology can make it easier to track you
by Aimee Heckel

He e-mailed her a photo of himself holding a gun with a Google map of her house, she says.

He threatened to come to Colorado and rape her.

He threatened her kids, and called her son derogatory names.

That's when Amber decided to get a restraining order, wipe away her entire online presence and start over. Hopefully this time, she says, he won't find her.

But it's hard to erase all virtual footprints, says the 30-something local woman who asked to remain anonymous for her safety. After all, the man whom she accused of cyberstalking her found her address, phone number and boyfriend's e-mail address without her help. All she did was accept him as her Facebook friend; they never met in person, but he seemed friendly as he moderated a Facebook group that she joined.

She will never let a stranger into her life like that again, Amber says.

"I was scared for a minute, honestly, but then I was just pissed off," she says. "He touched a nerve, for sure."

As Americans become increasingly more plugged in, it has become easier for perpetrators to use that technology for nefarious purposes, according to law enforcement. For police, this changing face of partner violence demands innovation and constant training to keep up with the trends. But it can also open up new avenues to trap cyber-perps, and even help tech-savvy victims protect themselves and secure a stronger court case.

The U.S. Department of Justice estimates hundreds of thousands of people have been victims of cyberstalking.

One study found about one-third of college students reported some kind of computer-based harassment, but experts say more research is needed. Plus, harassment can just be a one-time incident, unlike stalking, which generally indicates a pattern of events.

Stalking becomes illegal -- beyond curious browsing through pics or Googling a lost love -- when the repeated contacts are coupled with a credible threat, or when they cause the victim "serious emotional distress."

Officials say cyberstalking cases are extremely underreported. Boulder County doesn't track cyberstalking specifically, but the district attorney's office reported 29 felony stalking arrests last year. Many of them involved technology.

Johnson conducts statewide trainings on tackling cyberstalking. He's considered one of the most computer-savvy DAs across the state.

"A lot of stalking is vested in power and control," Johnson says.

Unlike Amber's case and the high-profile news stories about delusional fans stalking celebs, Johnson says most cyberstalking cases don't involve strangers.

In February, a 37-year-old Boulder man was arrested on suspicion of breaking into his ex-girlfriend's apartment for several months and installing voice recorders in her home and spyware on her computer to monitor her.

One local man, a pilot for Frontier, was accused of stalking a flight attendant coworker, remotely accessing her e-mail, creating fake online personalities and hacking into her work account to learn her flight schedule. He was convicted and is currently serving a one-year sentence with 10 years probation, officials say.

Johnson is currently working on a case involving a City of Longmont employee who was arrested on suspicion of using an online dating site to find women and then stalk them, according to Johnson.

Johnson says the man dropped hints throughout the relationships about his roof-repair skills, and when the relationships went bad, he sabotaged their appliances and drilled holes in their roofs so they'd call him for help.

Johnson says it seems every cyberstalking case involves new and different kinds of technology.

One of the most popular techniques: installing a keystroke logger on a computer or cell phone to record what a person types, including passwords and e-mails. Some software can even turn on cameras and speakers remotely and monitor every phone call.

That's just the beginning.

Tracking devices, or GPSes, are another "favorite way to stalk," Johnson says. In one local case, a stalker bought a wristwatch embedded with a dime-sized GPS unit, designed to help parents keep track of their children. The man removed the device and sewed it into the lining of a woman's coat so he could follow her.

Often, GPS units installed on cars disrupt the vehicle's electrical system. In the past year, Johnson says Boulder County has seen five cases where people brought their cars in for service and the auto shop found a tracker on the car.

Then there are products like Spoofcard.com, a calling card that changes the phone number that shows up on caller ID, changes the caller's voice and records the calls.

From the Web site's testimonials:

"I've used the Spoof caller id when my boyfriend (during that time) was just ignoring my phone calls (even when i blocked my number) he still didn't answer. ... I called my exboyfriend with HIS house phone number and HE HAD ANSWERED the phone call without hesitating!! and he was just tripped out about it. he had thought that i was AT HIS HOUSE!! which i found quite exciting!!"

Although the number of stalking cases in Boulder County is down from 2006, authorities agree stalking isn't on the decline.

Without a doubt, it's increasing, says Tom Eskridge, a partner with the High Tech Crime Institute in Florida, which trains law enforcement and military in digital media investigation and forensics.

"More people are becoming comfortable with technology, and more software is sold under the guise of protecting your children," Eskridge says. "But 99 percent is sold to people who want to spy on the wife."

He says law enforcement has seen an increase in the number of "portal devices" (such as cell phones or laptops with wireless Internet access) seized and examined for civil cases, often involving someone stealing intellectual property from a company.

"The data mining that's available -- you don't have to waste money on LexisNexis anymore. You have Google. You can get most everything you need," Eskridge says. "The days of privacy are over."

A constant race
This leaves police in a constant race with ever-evolving technology. Boulder County has a dedicated unit for computer forensics. Instead of looking for floppy discs and bulky hard drives, investigators now search for thumb-sized SIM cards, MicroSD memory cards, international servers that complicate search warrants and muddle the laws or Internet-based storage, referred to as cloud computing.

"The law doesn't protect you internationally. I put it in the cloud, and you don't know where it's at. Now what are you going to do with your law?" Eskridge says. "There is no supergalactic Internet police."

But in the same way that technology makes it easier for stalkers to track victims, it can help police follow the trail of stalkers. Think back on the different devices that perpetrators use: GPSes, Spoofcards, spyware, fake e-mail addresses and Facebook pages. Police can use all of these, too, says Johnson.

"We're using technology to catch these guys. Although they might be savvy, there's so much on a computer that will trap you," Johnson says.

He refers to a local man was arrested on suspicion of stalking his girlfriend and her teenage daughter. The man was accused of taking compromising photos of the girl through a peephole in her wall, editing the photos to look vulgar and sending them to her friends.

But technology -- a court-ordered tracking device on his car -- ended up catching the man and helping the case against him, Johnson says. The man's sentencing is Sept. 3.

Victims can use technology to protect themselves, too, Johnson says. If you're being harassed, he recommends saving instant messages, e-mails and voice mails. Block calls and e-mails. Turn on your Web cam when you're gone if you think someone is sneaking into your house or installing stuff on your computer. Or pick up a night-vision, motion-activated wildlife camera at a sporting goods store, and mount it to your porch.

The easiest thing to do is change passwords and user names, and pay attention to what you do on your computer.

"If you're surfing online for a restaurant, and then you go and that person is there, make that connection," Johnson says.

The National Network to End Domestic Violence recommends stalking victims use public computers at a library or coffee shop to avoid keystroke-capturing.

And although it might be impossible to prevent, make it more difficult to be stalked, advises Eskridge. Don't put personal info on your Facebook or Twitter, like your birthday, e-mail address or your live location, which just broadcasts that your house is empty.

"You've got people who put so much personal info about themselves, pics of themselves, and some weirdo happens upon your site and falls in love with you. Now, Houston, we've got a problem. And a lot of it is our own doing," Eskridge says. "Let's step back and think: What did we gain by putting that info on the Internet?"

original article here

AND UNFORTUNATELY MANY POLICE, ATTORNEYS, JUDGES, OFFICIALS and OTHERS - do not take this seriously; believe they will 'just go away' and ignore pleas for help. - EOPC