The Eighteen Types of the [Online Predator]'s Victims

FROM: THE ART OF SEDUCTION
by Robert Greene, published by Viking Books, 2001

1. The Reformed Rake or Siren: People of this type were once happy-go-lucky seducers who had their way with the opposite sex. But the day came when they were forced to give this up — someone corralled them into a relationship, they were encountering too much social hostility, they were getting older and decided to settle down . . . These types are ripe for the picking: all that is required is that you cross their path and offer them the opportunity to resume their rakish or siren ways . . .

2. The Disappointed Dreamer: As children, these types probably spent a lot of time alone. To entertain themselves they developed a powerful fantasy life, fed by books and films and other kinds of popular culture. And as they get older, it becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile their fantasy life with reality, and so they are often disappointed by what they get . . . These types make for excellent and satisfying victims . . . All you need do is disguise some of your less than exalted qualities and give them a part of their dream . . .

3. The Pampered Royal: These people were the classic spoiled children. All of their wants and desires were met by an adoring parent — endless entertainments, a parade of toys, whatever kept them happy for a day or two . . . what the Pampered Prince or Princess is really looking for is one person, that parental figure, who will give them the spoiling they crave. To seduce this type, be ready to provide a lot of distraction — new places to visit, novel experiences, color, spectacle. You will have to maintain an air of mystery, continually surprising your target with a new side to your character. Variety is the key . . .

4. The New Prude: The New Prude is excessively concerned with standards of goodness, fairness, political sensitivity, tastefulness, etc. What marks the New Prude, though, as well as the old one, is that deep down they are actually excited and intrigued by guilty, transgressive pleasures — once you open them up, and get them to let go of their correctness, they are flooded with feelings and energies. They may even overwhelm you. Perhaps they are in a relationship with someone as drab as they themselves seem to be — do not be put off . . .

5. The Crushed Star: We all want attention, we all want to shine, but with most of us these desires are fleeting and easily quieted. The problem with Crushed Stars is that at one point in their lives they did find themselves the center of attention — perhaps they were beautiful or charming, perhaps they were athletes, or had some other talent — but those days are gone . . . Seducing this type is simple: just make them the center of attention . . . The reward of seducing Crushed Stars is that you stir up powerful emotions. They will feel intensely grateful to you for letting them shine. To whatever extent they had felt crushed and bottled up, the easing of that pain releases intensity and passion, all directed at you. They will fall in madly in love . . .

6. The Novice: What separates Novices from ordinary innocent young people is that they are fatally curious . . . Seducing a Novice is easy. To do it well, however, requires a bit of art. Novices are interested in people with experience, particularly people with a touch of corruption and evil. Make that touch too strong, though, and it will intimidate and frighten them. What works best with a Novice is a mix of qualities . . . They are easily misled by these tactics, since they lack the experience to see through them . . . mix innocence and corruption and you will fascinate them . . .

7. The Conqueror: These types have an unusual amount of energy, which they find difficult to control. They are always on the prowl for people to conquer, obstacles to surmount . . . In matters of romance, the worst thing you can do with them is lie down and make yourself easy prey; they may take advantage of your weakness, but they will quickly discard you and leave you the worse for wear. You want to give Conquerors a chance to be aggressive, to overcome some resistance or obstacle, before letting them think they have overwhelmed you . . .

8. The Exotic Fetishist: Most of us are excited and intrigued by the exotic. What separates Exotic Fetishists from the rest of us is the degree of this interest, which seems to govern all their choices in life. In truth they feel empty inside, and have a strong dose of self-loathing . . . Clearly the way to seduce them is to position yourself as exotic . . . Exaggerate a little and they will imagine the rest, since such types tend to be self-deluders. Exotic Fetishists, however, do not make particularly good victims. Whatever exoticism you have will soon seem banal to them, and they will want something else . . .

9. The Drama Queen: Most often, Drama Queens (and there are plenty of men in this category) enjoy playing the victim. They want something to complain about, they want pain. Pain is a source of pleasure for them. With this type, you have to be willing and able to give them the mental rough treatment they desire. That is the only way to seduce them in a deep manner . . . At the extreme, they can be hopelessly selfish and anti-seductive, but most of them are relatively harmless and will make fine victims if you can live with the sturm und drang . . .

10. The Professor: These types cannot get out of the trap of analyzing and criticizing everything that crosses their path. Their minds are overdeveloped and overstimulated. Even when they talk about love or sex, it is with great thought and analysis . . . Make them feel like Don Juans or Sirens, to even the slightest degree, and they are your slaves. Many of them have a masochistic streak that will come out once you stir their dormant senses. You are offering an escape from the mind, so make it as complete as possible: if you have intellectual tendencies yourself, hide them . . .

11. The Beauty: From early on in life, the Beauty is gazed at by others. Their desire to look at her is the source of her power, but also the source of much unhappiness . . . Most important in this seduction is to validate those parts of the Beauty that no one else appreciates — her intelligence (generally higher than people imagine), her skills, her character. Of course you must worship her body — you cannot stir up any insecurities in the one area in which she knows her strength, and the strength on which she most depends — but you also must worship her mind and soul . . .

12. The Aging Baby: Some people refuse to grow up. Perhaps they are afraid of death, or of growing old; perhaps they are passionately attached to the life they led as children . . . If you desire to seduce this type, you must be prepared to be the responsible, staid one. That may be a strange way of seducing, but in this case it works . . . Aging Babies can be amusing for a while, but, like all children, they are often potently narcissistic. This limits the pleasure you can have with them. You should see them as short-term amusements, or temporary outlets for your frustrated parental instincts . . .

13. The Rescuer: . . . Rescuers usually have complicated motives: they often have sensitive natures, and truly want to help. At the same time, solving people's problems gives them a kind of power they relish — it makes them feel in control . . . If you are a woman, play the damsel in distress, giving a man the chance so many men long for — to act the knight. If you are a man, play the boy who cannot deal with this harsh world; a female Rescuer will envelop you in maternal attention, gaining for herself the added satisfaction of feeling more powerful and in control than a man. An air of sadness will draw either gender in . . .

14. The Roué: . . . These types have lived the good life and experienced many pleasures. They probably have, or once had, a good deal of money to finance their hedonistic lives. Roués are consummate seducers, but there is one type that can easily seduce them — the young and the innocent . . . If you should want to seduce them, you will probably have to be somewhat young, and to have retained at least the appearance of innocence . . .

15. The Idol Worshiper: Everyone feels an inner lack, but Idol Worshipers have a bigger emptiness than most people . . . The way to seduce these types is to simply become their object of worship, to take the place of the cause or religion to which they are so dedicated . . . With this type you have to hide your flaws, or at least to give them a saintly sheen. Be banal and Idol Worshippers will pass you by. But mirror the qualities they aspire to themselves and they will slowly transfer their adoration to you. Keep everything on an elevated plane — let romance and religion flow into one . . .

16. The Sensualist: What marks these types is not their love of pleasure but their overactive senses . . . The key to seducing them is to aim for their senses, to take them to beautiful places, pay attention to detail, envelop them in spectacle, and of course use plenty of physical lures . . . That is how Cleopatra worked on Mark Antony, an inveterate sensualist . . .

17. The Lonely Leader: . . . Lonely Leaders long to be seduced, to have someone break through their isolation and overwhelm them. The problem is that most people are too intimidated to try, or use the kind of tactics — flattery, charm — that they see through and despise. To seduce such types, it is better to act like their equal or even their superior — the kind of treatment they never get. If you are blunt with them you will seem genuine, and they will be touched — you care enough to be honest, even perhaps at some risk. (Being blunt with the powerful can be dangerous . . . )

18. The Floating Gender: All of us have a mix of the masculine and the feminine in our characters, but most of us learn to develop and exhibit the socially acceptable side while repressing the other. People of the Floating Gender type feel that the separation of the sexes into such distinct genders is a burden . . . What Floating Gender types are really looking for is another person of uncertain gender, their counterpart from the opposite sex . . . If you are not of the Floating Gender, leave this type alone. You will only inhibit them and create more discomfort . . .

The Eighteen Types of the [Online Predator]'s Victims

FROM: THE ART OF SEDUCTION
by Robert Greene, published by Viking Books, 2001

1. The Reformed Rake or Siren: People of this type were once happy-go-lucky seducers who had their way with the opposite sex. But the day came when they were forced to give this up — someone corralled them into a relationship, they were encountering too much social hostility, they were getting older and decided to settle down . . . These types are ripe for the picking: all that is required is that you cross their path and offer them the opportunity to resume their rakish or siren ways . . .

2. The Disappointed Dreamer: As children, these types probably spent a lot of time alone. To entertain themselves they developed a powerful fantasy life, fed by books and films and other kinds of popular culture. And as they get older, it becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile their fantasy life with reality, and so they are often disappointed by what they get . . . These types make for excellent and satisfying victims . . . All you need do is disguise some of your less than exalted qualities and give them a part of their dream . . .

3. The Pampered Royal: These people were the classic spoiled children. All of their wants and desires were met by an adoring parent — endless entertainments, a parade of toys, whatever kept them happy for a day or two . . . what the Pampered Prince or Princess is really looking for is one person, that parental figure, who will give them the spoiling they crave. To seduce this type, be ready to provide a lot of distraction — new places to visit, novel experiences, color, spectacle. You will have to maintain an air of mystery, continually surprising your target with a new side to your character. Variety is the key . . .

4. The New Prude: The New Prude is excessively concerned with standards of goodness, fairness, political sensitivity, tastefulness, etc. What marks the New Prude, though, as well as the old one, is that deep down they are actually excited and intrigued by guilty, transgressive pleasures — once you open them up, and get them to let go of their correctness, they are flooded with feelings and energies. They may even overwhelm you. Perhaps they are in a relationship with someone as drab as they themselves seem to be — do not be put off . . .

5. The Crushed Star: We all want attention, we all want to shine, but with most of us these desires are fleeting and easily quieted. The problem with Crushed Stars is that at one point in their lives they did find themselves the center of attention — perhaps they were beautiful or charming, perhaps they were athletes, or had some other talent — but those days are gone . . . Seducing this type is simple: just make them the center of attention . . . The reward of seducing Crushed Stars is that you stir up powerful emotions. They will feel intensely grateful to you for letting them shine. To whatever extent they had felt crushed and bottled up, the easing of that pain releases intensity and passion, all directed at you. They will fall in madly in love . . .

6. The Novice: What separates Novices from ordinary innocent young people is that they are fatally curious . . . Seducing a Novice is easy. To do it well, however, requires a bit of art. Novices are interested in people with experience, particularly people with a touch of corruption and evil. Make that touch too strong, though, and it will intimidate and frighten them. What works best with a Novice is a mix of qualities . . . They are easily misled by these tactics, since they lack the experience to see through them . . . mix innocence and corruption and you will fascinate them . . .

7. The Conqueror: These types have an unusual amount of energy, which they find difficult to control. They are always on the prowl for people to conquer, obstacles to surmount . . . In matters of romance, the worst thing you can do with them is lie down and make yourself easy prey; they may take advantage of your weakness, but they will quickly discard you and leave you the worse for wear. You want to give Conquerors a chance to be aggressive, to overcome some resistance or obstacle, before letting them think they have overwhelmed you . . .

8. The Exotic Fetishist: Most of us are excited and intrigued by the exotic. What separates Exotic Fetishists from the rest of us is the degree of this interest, which seems to govern all their choices in life. In truth they feel empty inside, and have a strong dose of self-loathing . . . Clearly the way to seduce them is to position yourself as exotic . . . Exaggerate a little and they will imagine the rest, since such types tend to be self-deluders. Exotic Fetishists, however, do not make particularly good victims. Whatever exoticism you have will soon seem banal to them, and they will want something else . . .

9. The Drama Queen: Most often, Drama Queens (and there are plenty of men in this category) enjoy playing the victim. They want something to complain about, they want pain. Pain is a source of pleasure for them. With this type, you have to be willing and able to give them the mental rough treatment they desire. That is the only way to seduce them in a deep manner . . . At the extreme, they can be hopelessly selfish and anti-seductive, but most of them are relatively harmless and will make fine victims if you can live with the sturm und drang . . .

10. The Professor: These types cannot get out of the trap of analyzing and criticizing everything that crosses their path. Their minds are overdeveloped and overstimulated. Even when they talk about love or sex, it is with great thought and analysis . . . Make them feel like Don Juans or Sirens, to even the slightest degree, and they are your slaves. Many of them have a masochistic streak that will come out once you stir their dormant senses. You are offering an escape from the mind, so make it as complete as possible: if you have intellectual tendencies yourself, hide them . . .

11. The Beauty: From early on in life, the Beauty is gazed at by others. Their desire to look at her is the source of her power, but also the source of much unhappiness . . . Most important in this seduction is to validate those parts of the Beauty that no one else appreciates — her intelligence (generally higher than people imagine), her skills, her character. Of course you must worship her body — you cannot stir up any insecurities in the one area in which she knows her strength, and the strength on which she most depends — but you also must worship her mind and soul . . .

12. The Aging Baby: Some people refuse to grow up. Perhaps they are afraid of death, or of growing old; perhaps they are passionately attached to the life they led as children . . . If you desire to seduce this type, you must be prepared to be the responsible, staid one. That may be a strange way of seducing, but in this case it works . . . Aging Babies can be amusing for a while, but, like all children, they are often potently narcissistic. This limits the pleasure you can have with them. You should see them as short-term amusements, or temporary outlets for your frustrated parental instincts . . .

13. The Rescuer: . . . Rescuers usually have complicated motives: they often have sensitive natures, and truly want to help. At the same time, solving people's problems gives them a kind of power they relish — it makes them feel in control . . . If you are a woman, play the damsel in distress, giving a man the chance so many men long for — to act the knight. If you are a man, play the boy who cannot deal with this harsh world; a female Rescuer will envelop you in maternal attention, gaining for herself the added satisfaction of feeling more powerful and in control than a man. An air of sadness will draw either gender in . . .

14. The Roué: . . . These types have lived the good life and experienced many pleasures. They probably have, or once had, a good deal of money to finance their hedonistic lives. Roués are consummate seducers, but there is one type that can easily seduce them — the young and the innocent . . . If you should want to seduce them, you will probably have to be somewhat young, and to have retained at least the appearance of innocence . . .

15. The Idol Worshiper: Everyone feels an inner lack, but Idol Worshipers have a bigger emptiness than most people . . . The way to seduce these types is to simply become their object of worship, to take the place of the cause or religion to which they are so dedicated . . . With this type you have to hide your flaws, or at least to give them a saintly sheen. Be banal and Idol Worshippers will pass you by. But mirror the qualities they aspire to themselves and they will slowly transfer their adoration to you. Keep everything on an elevated plane — let romance and religion flow into one . . .

16. The Sensualist: What marks these types is not their love of pleasure but their overactive senses . . . The key to seducing them is to aim for their senses, to take them to beautiful places, pay attention to detail, envelop them in spectacle, and of course use plenty of physical lures . . . That is how Cleopatra worked on Mark Antony, an inveterate sensualist . . .

17. The Lonely Leader: . . . Lonely Leaders long to be seduced, to have someone break through their isolation and overwhelm them. The problem is that most people are too intimidated to try, or use the kind of tactics — flattery, charm — that they see through and despise. To seduce such types, it is better to act like their equal or even their superior — the kind of treatment they never get. If you are blunt with them you will seem genuine, and they will be touched — you care enough to be honest, even perhaps at some risk. (Being blunt with the powerful can be dangerous . . . )

18. The Floating Gender: All of us have a mix of the masculine and the feminine in our characters, but most of us learn to develop and exhibit the socially acceptable side while repressing the other. People of the Floating Gender type feel that the separation of the sexes into such distinct genders is a burden . . . What Floating Gender types are really looking for is another person of uncertain gender, their counterpart from the opposite sex . . . If you are not of the Floating Gender, leave this type alone. You will only inhibit them and create more discomfort . . .

Peter Berry: Romeo Rogue & Internet Seducer

By Angela Levin

Sara Terry claims she wasn’t really looking for someone to love when she agreed to her friends’ suggestions to try internet dating.

But when an email landed in her inbox from a man who seemed to be her mirror image, she admits her pulse began to race.

They had a similar view of life, enjoyed the same sports and both were dog owners with much-loved Labradors.

So it was no surprise that, when she met Peter Berry a few weeks later, his charm, wit, impeccable manners and soft green-blue eyes melted her heart.

What’s more, the feeling seemed mutual. ‘Wow!’ he texted her straight after they parted. ‘I cannot believe we have so much in common.’

Within a couple of weeks he had proposed marriage and moved in. ‘I felt I had met the right man,’ she says. ‘He was so warm and funny.’

Today, eight months later, she is alone, a stone lighter and £35,000 the poorer, a victim of one of the most prolific fraudsters ever to be dragged before the British courts.

For 20 years Peter Berry has made a specialty of preying on single women in their 30s and 40s.

Using newspaper adverts and internet dating
sites he seduced then fleeced them.

The total amount of money he has stolen is incalculable, much like the scale of emotional damage he has wreaked.

No one knows how many women he has conned, either, but the victims probably number in the hundreds.

So peculiarly unpleasant is his style of operation that most of them remained silent out of embarrassment.

He took £35,000 from his first wife and left his second, the mother of his child, bankrupt. She is now in hiding to avoid contact with his family.

Berry has helped himself to five-figure sums from fiancees in America and girlfriends in Europe, including £28,000 from a girlfriend in Tayside.

He has even taken £100,000 from his mother. Nothing, it seemed, could stop him, as he moved from city to city, country to country in search of fresh victims – until, that is, Sara Terry decided to take him on.

With the help of the police in Cornwall, she mounted a dogged pursuit of a man who also uses the names John Keady, Taz Keady and even sometimes calls himself ‘doctor’.

Last month, he appeared at Truro Crown Court pleading guilty to eight counts of deception and fraud involving eight separate victims, including Sara.

The investigating officers believe this is just the tip of the iceberg.

‘There could be hundreds more victims,’ says Detective Constable Derek Farrow, who led the case against Berry.

‘Many, who are high-powered lawyers, GPs, fund managers, senior civil servants and businesswomen, haven’t wanted to press charges in case it affected their careers.

‘I believe that Berry is an accomplished, cold and calculating villain who could easily have taken more than £1million.

‘He is just brilliant at gaining people’s confidence and creating an image of a successful, affluent man.’

So brilliant, in fact, that he even persuaded someone like Sara. An articulate and attractive 42-year-old divorcee, she would not seem an obvious ‘victim’.

Like many women of her age, though, she is fully occupied. She looks after her young children on the South Coast and works in a chandler’s.

So, like countless others, she found it easier to click on a dating website at a time which suited rather than attempt to meet suitable men in crowded bars or clubs.

This is how she found herself on a website called Fitness Singles in October 2008.

‘I love challenging sports and thought I would meet a more genuine person than someone who just wanted a date or two,’ she says with a rueful smile.

‘I didn’t upload any photographs on my profile but said I enjoyed sailing, horse riding and had a dog.

'Pete emailed that he was 40 – he was actually three years older – a very successful business consultant and interested in the same sports as me.

'He even had a photograph of him sailing on his profile.’

After weeks of increasingly chatty emails, Sara agreed on a date at nearby Langstone Harbour, along the coast from Portsmouth.

Physically he was no Casanova. ‘He was 6ft 2in, weighed about 20 stone and looked like the cartoon character Shrek,’ she says.

‘But he had such warm eyes, we had so much to talk about, he was so interested in me that, to my surprise, I found him very attractive.

‘He was attentive, flattering and very funny, which are all the qualities a woman likes.’

A second meeting, a walk on a beach with their two Labradors, went even better and on the third date he asked if he could come to her home, a detached property in a picturesque Hampshire village.

He also told her that although he was in Cornwall looking after his widowed mother, he was planning to relocate to Hampshire to be closer to London and his work.

‘I agreed because the children were spending the day with their father,’ she says.

‘Then, late in the afternoon, he told me he was asthmatic and having trouble breathing.

‘He said that he didn’t have very good lungs because he had fallen out of boats so many times and that if he went to hospital he knew from experience they would keep him in for at least a week, which would wreck a business deal.

'Nor was he well enough to drive five hours to Cornwall. He even started crying as he said “please don’t make me go”.’

She shrugs. ‘I agreed he could stay and for the next five days he had me running around after him. We shared a bed, but didn’t have sex.

'He also said he wanted to marry me and I felt really excited. We had so many common interests, I felt I had met the right man.’

Why did this remarkable turn of events fail to ring alarm bells? She has no ready answer, although it is possible that, in her heart, she really wanted to settle down, and shut her eyes to the danger signs.

'He also said he wanted to marry me and I felt really excited.’

She continues: ‘He then left for Cornwall but returned a few days later and just moved in. I didn’t question it because he overwhelmed me by organising one activity after another.

'I wasn’t working at the time and he said he was enjoying a break after several successful business deals so we spent lots of time sailing.

‘He taught me how to kayak, which I loved. He also said he wanted to buy a house for us and we went round looking at several £3million-plus properties.

'I admit that I was smitten and quite overcome.’

It was during this time that she slept with him. But shortly afterwards he began giving her mixed messages.

‘On the one hand he was tactile, but then told me he had a low sex drive and kept making excuses for us not to be physically together.

'He talked about his strong Catholic background, which I later discovered had been exaggerated, and also claimed his eczema was playing up and that it was painful to touch me.

'I didn’t like to make a fuss as there are more important things than sex, but I was also concerned as I didn’t want a non-physical relationship.

‘He began going out in the evening. He told me he was attending business meetings but I later discovered he was seeing other women.’

Just before Christmas 2008, she took her children on a family holiday with her former husband, a property developer, but agreed that Berry could stay in the house. Worse still, she lent him her credit card.

‘I had asked him several times what he wanted as a Christmas present but it was only late on Christmas Eve that he finally suggested a kayak.

I thought it was a brilliant idea but as I didn’t have time to sort one out suggested he did the research and put the cost on my credit card.’

Not only did he buy a kayak he also took out an annual subscription to Zoosk, another online dating site.

‘He also managed to work out details of my two bank accounts,’ she says.

‘He phoned the bank while I was away, pretending to be me, and put up my credit limit.

Because I use direct debit as much as possible I wasn’t in the habit of checking my bank statements, something I now realise was quite wrong.’

'I know not to sign something you don’t read but we were engaged and living together so I did.'

On her return, he became more daring, claiming he wanted to take her on an adventure holiday for her birthday.

‘He said I had to sign a personal liability disclaimer for the travel company but wouldn’t show me the details as he wanted to keep the destination secret.

'I know not to sign something you don’t read but we were engaged and living together so I did.

'I later discovered it was a loan application to the bank for £15,000.’ She is currently paying it off at £400 a month for 47 months.

In mid-April, her purse and credit cards went missing and she at last became suspicious.

On impulse she rang to check the balance on her current accounts and credit cards.

‘I was told that each of my two bank accounts was about £1,000 overdrawn and that I owed about £9,000 on my credit cards.

I felt my whole life had stopped. I immediately cancelled the cards and when the bank employee said, “What about the loan?” I replied, “What loan?” When they told me I could hardly speak.

'All I could think of was how was I going to feed my children. I then rang Berry who gave me a long explanation of a business deal that went wrong and how he would pay me back handsomely “any moment now”.

'I felt such a fool and for the next two months stayed at home feeling depressed and ill.

‘I gave him time because I thought if I kicked him out straight away I would have no chance of getting my money back. By mid-June I’d had enough.’

She then did what so few of his victims had dared to do before, and complained to the police.

‘I told them what had happened and arranged to call 999 when he next showed up,’ says Sara.

‘When he did, they came to arrest him and all he said when they marched him off was to ask me to look after his dog. I haven’t seen him since.’

She then did some investigation of her own. ‘I got in touch with the people who had been with us on kayaking trips and all the friends on his Facebook account, and told them about what had happened.

Men and women came back to me and I discovered that at least three women were involved with him at the same time as me and had also lost money.’

He had, for example, taken nearly £15,000 from Mabel Arnhill, a 32-year-old businesswoman and member of his kayaking club.

Berry called himself Dr Teady and, promising to buy her a kayak, got her credit card details and emptied the account.

Sara found herself working alongside Detective Constable Derek Farrow in Saltash near Plymouth and it is thanks to his research and Sara’s bravery that Berry has finally been convicted.

Up until 2008 a few women had reported him to their local police.

But the complaints were treated as isolated incidents and, with Berry moving around, nothing was done – as Lynne Martin, Berry’s former girlfriend from Tayside, knows only too well.

She reported him after losing the best part of £30,000, but got nowhere.

Lynne, now 40, says: ‘He was a real seducer. He’s very good at it. But I think career women are more vulnerable.

'When men put a lot into their work and don’t have partners or children they are admired, whereas women feel under pressure to have it all and get anxious about finding a partner while they are of child-bearing age.

'If you say you are interested in something he, chameleon-like, says he is too.

‘I reported him to the police but here in Scotland they said it was a civil matter and took no interest.

'I took out a private prosecution which I won, but I haven’t been able to get my money back.

'I felt so awful that initially I was suicidal and lost all my trust in people. It has taken me a long time to recover, but I have finally found someone I believe I can rely on.’

Between 2008 and April of this year DC Farrow has been tracking Berry’s victims all round the world.

He has spoken to Berry’s sister – who has disowned him – and Berry’s mother, herself a victim of his fraud.

Much about Berry remains unfathomable, such as how he has spent the vast sums he defrauded, what has driven him to destroy the lives of those around him, or why it is women he chooses to humiliate.

No one from Berry’s family was willing to comment. But close family friends are mystified by his behaviour.

His upbringing is understood to have been warm and loving. Berry was born in Callington, Cornwall, and at six months was adopted by a naval medic and his wife.

On leaving school at 16 he got a job in the naval dockyards in Plymouth. But that was a brief stay, and he has never been able to hold down a regular job since.

There may be some light shed on this question when he is back in the dock for sentencing in two weeks’ time.

Berry might well be jailed, but it is unlikely to be a long sentence.

Although still suffering from anxiety, Sara seems to be recovering.

‘At first I was very cross with myself but I have fought against becoming bitter and untrusting,’ she says.

‘I admit I was naive, but there isn’t a law against that. He, not me, should feel embarrassed about what he has done.’

Although, she feels, there is little chance of that.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

Peter Berry: Romeo Rogue & Internet Seducer

By Angela Levin

Sara Terry claims she wasn’t really looking for someone to love when she agreed to her friends’ suggestions to try internet dating.

But when an email landed in her inbox from a man who seemed to be her mirror image, she admits her pulse began to race.

They had a similar view of life, enjoyed the same sports and both were dog owners with much-loved Labradors.

So it was no surprise that, when she met Peter Berry a few weeks later, his charm, wit, impeccable manners and soft green-blue eyes melted her heart.

What’s more, the feeling seemed mutual. ‘Wow!’ he texted her straight after they parted. ‘I cannot believe we have so much in common.’

Within a couple of weeks he had proposed marriage and moved in. ‘I felt I had met the right man,’ she says. ‘He was so warm and funny.’

Today, eight months later, she is alone, a stone lighter and £35,000 the poorer, a victim of one of the most prolific fraudsters ever to be dragged before the British courts.

For 20 years Peter Berry has made a specialty of preying on single women in their 30s and 40s.

Using newspaper adverts and internet dating
sites he seduced then fleeced them.

The total amount of money he has stolen is incalculable, much like the scale of emotional damage he has wreaked.

No one knows how many women he has conned, either, but the victims probably number in the hundreds.

So peculiarly unpleasant is his style of operation that most of them remained silent out of embarrassment.

He took £35,000 from his first wife and left his second, the mother of his child, bankrupt. She is now in hiding to avoid contact with his family.

Berry has helped himself to five-figure sums from fiancees in America and girlfriends in Europe, including £28,000 from a girlfriend in Tayside.

He has even taken £100,000 from his mother. Nothing, it seemed, could stop him, as he moved from city to city, country to country in search of fresh victims – until, that is, Sara Terry decided to take him on.

With the help of the police in Cornwall, she mounted a dogged pursuit of a man who also uses the names John Keady, Taz Keady and even sometimes calls himself ‘doctor’.

Last month, he appeared at Truro Crown Court pleading guilty to eight counts of deception and fraud involving eight separate victims, including Sara.

The investigating officers believe this is just the tip of the iceberg.

‘There could be hundreds more victims,’ says Detective Constable Derek Farrow, who led the case against Berry.

‘Many, who are high-powered lawyers, GPs, fund managers, senior civil servants and businesswomen, haven’t wanted to press charges in case it affected their careers.

‘I believe that Berry is an accomplished, cold and calculating villain who could easily have taken more than £1million.

‘He is just brilliant at gaining people’s confidence and creating an image of a successful, affluent man.’

So brilliant, in fact, that he even persuaded someone like Sara. An articulate and attractive 42-year-old divorcee, she would not seem an obvious ‘victim’.

Like many women of her age, though, she is fully occupied. She looks after her young children on the South Coast and works in a chandler’s.

So, like countless others, she found it easier to click on a dating website at a time which suited rather than attempt to meet suitable men in crowded bars or clubs.

This is how she found herself on a website called Fitness Singles in October 2008.

‘I love challenging sports and thought I would meet a more genuine person than someone who just wanted a date or two,’ she says with a rueful smile.

‘I didn’t upload any photographs on my profile but said I enjoyed sailing, horse riding and had a dog.

'Pete emailed that he was 40 – he was actually three years older – a very successful business consultant and interested in the same sports as me.

'He even had a photograph of him sailing on his profile.’

After weeks of increasingly chatty emails, Sara agreed on a date at nearby Langstone Harbour, along the coast from Portsmouth.

Physically he was no Casanova. ‘He was 6ft 2in, weighed about 20 stone and looked like the cartoon character Shrek,’ she says.

‘But he had such warm eyes, we had so much to talk about, he was so interested in me that, to my surprise, I found him very attractive.

‘He was attentive, flattering and very funny, which are all the qualities a woman likes.’

A second meeting, a walk on a beach with their two Labradors, went even better and on the third date he asked if he could come to her home, a detached property in a picturesque Hampshire village.

He also told her that although he was in Cornwall looking after his widowed mother, he was planning to relocate to Hampshire to be closer to London and his work.

‘I agreed because the children were spending the day with their father,’ she says.

‘Then, late in the afternoon, he told me he was asthmatic and having trouble breathing.

‘He said that he didn’t have very good lungs because he had fallen out of boats so many times and that if he went to hospital he knew from experience they would keep him in for at least a week, which would wreck a business deal.

'Nor was he well enough to drive five hours to Cornwall. He even started crying as he said “please don’t make me go”.’

She shrugs. ‘I agreed he could stay and for the next five days he had me running around after him. We shared a bed, but didn’t have sex.

'He also said he wanted to marry me and I felt really excited. We had so many common interests, I felt I had met the right man.’

Why did this remarkable turn of events fail to ring alarm bells? She has no ready answer, although it is possible that, in her heart, she really wanted to settle down, and shut her eyes to the danger signs.

'He also said he wanted to marry me and I felt really excited.’

She continues: ‘He then left for Cornwall but returned a few days later and just moved in. I didn’t question it because he overwhelmed me by organising one activity after another.

'I wasn’t working at the time and he said he was enjoying a break after several successful business deals so we spent lots of time sailing.

‘He taught me how to kayak, which I loved. He also said he wanted to buy a house for us and we went round looking at several £3million-plus properties.

'I admit that I was smitten and quite overcome.’

It was during this time that she slept with him. But shortly afterwards he began giving her mixed messages.

‘On the one hand he was tactile, but then told me he had a low sex drive and kept making excuses for us not to be physically together.

'He talked about his strong Catholic background, which I later discovered had been exaggerated, and also claimed his eczema was playing up and that it was painful to touch me.

'I didn’t like to make a fuss as there are more important things than sex, but I was also concerned as I didn’t want a non-physical relationship.

‘He began going out in the evening. He told me he was attending business meetings but I later discovered he was seeing other women.’

Just before Christmas 2008, she took her children on a family holiday with her former husband, a property developer, but agreed that Berry could stay in the house. Worse still, she lent him her credit card.

‘I had asked him several times what he wanted as a Christmas present but it was only late on Christmas Eve that he finally suggested a kayak.

I thought it was a brilliant idea but as I didn’t have time to sort one out suggested he did the research and put the cost on my credit card.’

Not only did he buy a kayak he also took out an annual subscription to Zoosk, another online dating site.

‘He also managed to work out details of my two bank accounts,’ she says.

‘He phoned the bank while I was away, pretending to be me, and put up my credit limit.

Because I use direct debit as much as possible I wasn’t in the habit of checking my bank statements, something I now realise was quite wrong.’

'I know not to sign something you don’t read but we were engaged and living together so I did.'

On her return, he became more daring, claiming he wanted to take her on an adventure holiday for her birthday.

‘He said I had to sign a personal liability disclaimer for the travel company but wouldn’t show me the details as he wanted to keep the destination secret.

'I know not to sign something you don’t read but we were engaged and living together so I did.

'I later discovered it was a loan application to the bank for £15,000.’ She is currently paying it off at £400 a month for 47 months.

In mid-April, her purse and credit cards went missing and she at last became suspicious.

On impulse she rang to check the balance on her current accounts and credit cards.

‘I was told that each of my two bank accounts was about £1,000 overdrawn and that I owed about £9,000 on my credit cards.

I felt my whole life had stopped. I immediately cancelled the cards and when the bank employee said, “What about the loan?” I replied, “What loan?” When they told me I could hardly speak.

'All I could think of was how was I going to feed my children. I then rang Berry who gave me a long explanation of a business deal that went wrong and how he would pay me back handsomely “any moment now”.

'I felt such a fool and for the next two months stayed at home feeling depressed and ill.

‘I gave him time because I thought if I kicked him out straight away I would have no chance of getting my money back. By mid-June I’d had enough.’

She then did what so few of his victims had dared to do before, and complained to the police.

‘I told them what had happened and arranged to call 999 when he next showed up,’ says Sara.

‘When he did, they came to arrest him and all he said when they marched him off was to ask me to look after his dog. I haven’t seen him since.’

She then did some investigation of her own. ‘I got in touch with the people who had been with us on kayaking trips and all the friends on his Facebook account, and told them about what had happened.

Men and women came back to me and I discovered that at least three women were involved with him at the same time as me and had also lost money.’

He had, for example, taken nearly £15,000 from Mabel Arnhill, a 32-year-old businesswoman and member of his kayaking club.

Berry called himself Dr Teady and, promising to buy her a kayak, got her credit card details and emptied the account.

Sara found herself working alongside Detective Constable Derek Farrow in Saltash near Plymouth and it is thanks to his research and Sara’s bravery that Berry has finally been convicted.

Up until 2008 a few women had reported him to their local police.

But the complaints were treated as isolated incidents and, with Berry moving around, nothing was done – as Lynne Martin, Berry’s former girlfriend from Tayside, knows only too well.

She reported him after losing the best part of £30,000, but got nowhere.

Lynne, now 40, says: ‘He was a real seducer. He’s very good at it. But I think career women are more vulnerable.

'When men put a lot into their work and don’t have partners or children they are admired, whereas women feel under pressure to have it all and get anxious about finding a partner while they are of child-bearing age.

'If you say you are interested in something he, chameleon-like, says he is too.

‘I reported him to the police but here in Scotland they said it was a civil matter and took no interest.

'I took out a private prosecution which I won, but I haven’t been able to get my money back.

'I felt so awful that initially I was suicidal and lost all my trust in people. It has taken me a long time to recover, but I have finally found someone I believe I can rely on.’

Between 2008 and April of this year DC Farrow has been tracking Berry’s victims all round the world.

He has spoken to Berry’s sister – who has disowned him – and Berry’s mother, herself a victim of his fraud.

Much about Berry remains unfathomable, such as how he has spent the vast sums he defrauded, what has driven him to destroy the lives of those around him, or why it is women he chooses to humiliate.

No one from Berry’s family was willing to comment. But close family friends are mystified by his behaviour.

His upbringing is understood to have been warm and loving. Berry was born in Callington, Cornwall, and at six months was adopted by a naval medic and his wife.

On leaving school at 16 he got a job in the naval dockyards in Plymouth. But that was a brief stay, and he has never been able to hold down a regular job since.

There may be some light shed on this question when he is back in the dock for sentencing in two weeks’ time.

Berry might well be jailed, but it is unlikely to be a long sentence.

Although still suffering from anxiety, Sara seems to be recovering.

‘At first I was very cross with myself but I have fought against becoming bitter and untrusting,’ she says.

‘I admit I was naive, but there isn’t a law against that. He, not me, should feel embarrassed about what he has done.’

Although, she feels, there is little chance of that.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid - Our February 2005 Predator of the 'Month'

Our Predator of the Month for

June 2007, In Review: GRIDNEY aka YIDWITHLID aka Sammy Benoit

(real name: JEFF DUNETZ)



We are re-running this expose because

1. there have been some updates which we will post later in the month and

2. it was, like our first Ed Hicks, very complete - including chat transcripts or emails - to show the classic patterns of mind control, seduction and abuse used by cyberpaths. (ORIGINALLY POSTED IN FEBRUARY 2005)



The reason we are not giving any identifying information about this person (such as real name or location) is due to legal and police investigations concerning activities this person was involved in as per the police department involved's request to EOPC. Also, at the request of Target #1 to be compassionate towards his wife & children. The reasons for doing this will be clearer once this story unfolds.



Chat transcripts were recieved from & with verification by law enforcement, from Target #2 and the permission of law enforcement (once law enforcement had them - they had control over the information) - at our request. Target #1, after much debate - allowed us to publish just a few of them, with her edits to protect the wife & children of this cyberpath. They cannot and have not been edited in any way other than to remove identifying information.



All photos of gridney/ Yidwithlid were received from Target #2 - who comes along later in this story. Target #2 provided us with her statement as well, independent of any of gridney/ Yidwithlid's other targets.



We obtained some IMs between yidwithlid and Target #1 via law enforcement. We will try to post the more pertinent of these chats rather than take up bandwith; and portions of IM conversations where appropriate.



Excerpts we got from interviewing both Targets will be used. (These were the first chats EOPC has ever gotten that were accompanied by verifications from computer forensics with law enforcement as being unedited and genuinely coming from the IPs of the persons chatting.)

************************

"J"/ Yidwithlid's online nickname at the time of this incident was: GRIDNEY



In April 2002, "J"/ Yidwithlid sent an email to Target #1. He had 'come across' her name and email address on Classmates.com.'



They had attended college together about 30 years ago. "J"/ Yidwithlid transferred out to another university after 1 1/2 years at the college they both attended without telling Target #1 he was even leaving or where he was going. She never heard from him again nor did she make any attempt to ever contact him. "J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 had a brief intimate relationship but more importantly to Target #1, what she thought was a good friendship.



"I don't chase men. I never have. Yidwithlid gave me a little indication he was interested in a real relationship with me back then, but it was sporatic. In fact, just the opposite. When he left the school I had no idea where he went. He never even said goodbye. I could have easily found out where he was because I worked part time for the college legal department. But I would never do something like that that. I was heartbroken but I knew when I wasn't wanted.... even as a friend." - Target #1



And "J"/ Yidwithlid, 27 years later, at home on his computer, looking for prey - something to 'have a little fun' with, broke, depressed and unemployed... looked her up.

"...choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of recent adverse circumstances), or can easily be made so - for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce.



The perfect victim has some natural quality that attracts you. The strong emotions this quality inspires will help make your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase." -



The Art of Seduction (Greene)

The reason we are doing this story? - because in this case - the predator and prey KNEW each other, for years. This wasn't anonymous, random or circumstantial. Target #1 wasn't some woman looking for love in a chat room. In this case, the adage of "stick to who & what you know" went totally awry.



"J"/ YidwithLid shared only a couple of his nicknames and IMs with Target #1. Within 3 days of the email, they were chatting and catching up. "J"/ Yidwithlid is married and has children. Lives well over an hour away from Target #1. Had lost a major executive job from downsizing. Was looking for work, bored (looking for prey - some distraction), no money to do his usual "online fun" and collecting unemployment.



Target #1 had been on permanent disability for 7 years by that time after working most of her life. Both Target #1 and "J"/ Yidwithlid had worked in similar areas and even the same buildings but had never, in all that time, run into each other. Target #1 also had children and was estranged from her husband of many years, being denied a divorce, controlled, entrapped and being seriously abused.



"J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 spent a lot of time just talking about life, what had happened in the years between, their families, friends, whatever-happened-to, and so on. (Typical cyberpath, profiling her and testing the waters to see where she stood and how far he could push things) Then about 2 weeks into the conversation, "J"/ Yidwithlid asked about her marriage.



"Typical of many abused women - I just wanted to be "nice." My marriage was over and had been for about 5 years. I didn't have the funds to take the kids and move out and no where to go.



I should have gone to a domestic violence center but like so many women in upscale marriages, I felt I would have been stigmatized. I talked to yidwithlid about my concerns freely; about the abusive I was experiencing but it just felt wrong to say 'I feel nothing for my husband and I am pushing a pro bono lawyer to divorce him when it's feasible.



I had NO Idea where yidwithlid was going to take this and I had no reason to mistrust him in the beginning. He seemed to genuinely want to talk to me a great deal."- Target #1

"At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the periphery of your target's life-approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Arrange an occasional "chance" encounter, as if you and your target were destined to become acquainted-nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike."



- The Art of Seduction (Greene)

"J"/ Yidwithlid in an ICQ chat (where it started - this relationship moved to other chat platforms as it went along) he asked Target #1 if he could ask her something personal, about women. Target #1 said sure, figuring - this was an old friend and another adult, no problems - no reason to question. "J"/ Yidwithlid then told her:



"J": it's about sex

Target #1: I am a big girl, shoot

"J": my wife, she's very..... cold

Target #1: what do you mean

"J": she's so

"J": practical

"J":can I ask you something

Target #1: sure

"J": during sex.... do you like ####

Target #1: sure

"J": do most women like it

Target #1: I dont know

Target #1: come on, your wife & I can't be the only women you have ever been with

Target #1: what about your other girfriends?

"J": my wife she won't allow me to ### (Yidwithlid evades her question!)

Target #1: is she sensitive? or was she ever abused in some way?

"J": no

Target #1: you sure?

"J": yes

Target #1: you asked her?

"J": yes

"J": she also s never "in teh mood"

Target #1:she works and takes care of u & the kids

Target #1: women get very tired you know - thats a lot

Target #1: takes more than sex to make a marriage work

"J": I am not sure how I feel about her anymore

Target #1: have you talked to her about it

"J": no

Target #1: why

"J": dunno (evades again)

"J": and she wont let me ### after sex

"J": one time I asked her to ### and she flipped out

Target #1: if this is too personal tell me

"J": ok

Target #1: was she this way before you got married

"J": no

"J": she was great

Target #1: she is tired - kids and taking care of a home and working is a lot

"J": no

"J": she has help (evades again)

"J": she had a very bad boyfriend before me

Target #1: then maybe she has issues and needs to talk

Target #1: why don't you take her out to lunch while you are home, romance her. you need to talk to her

"J": she would say no

"J": she says she loves me but

"J": I asked her if she wold #### so I wold knw what she likes

Target #1: and?

"J": she flipped out

Target #1: sorry but I don't think I would do that either

"J": what about u?

Target #1: what about me?

"J": you and H?

Target #1: we are not intimate anymore

"J": why?

Target #1: we just arent

"J": you still love him?

Target #1: no

"J": did you ver

Target #1: o yes

"J": what happend

Target #1: lng story

"J": tell me

Target #1: some other time

Target #1:have you thought about counseling for you & your wife

"J": no

"J": I wold nevr do that

Target #1: man thing?

"J": no I wold nevr talk to someone

Target #1: but you are talking to me

"J": yes but

"J": we know each othr

Target #1: ok

(April 2002)



Here's where the seduction and mind control techniques start:

- he puts her in the position of "HELPING" him



- asks about sex, and is very polite about it



- evades answering direct questions



- tells her he can talk/open up to her



- tells her HIS marriage isn't going well



- she offers advice (helper position)



- he puts himself in the 'pity me' or 'martyr' position to prey on her compassionate nature



- tell her he TRUSTS her (verbal 'implantation' to make her feel she should TRUST him TOO!!)



Check www.speedseduction.com and www.seducersworld.com for some of this predatory methodology also used by sales, advertising and personal growth gurus.



We asked Target #1 for her story because this is about establishing and ANCHORING a close, intimate and comfortable relationship in the Target so they won't even know what hit them. That's what makes reading many of these stories all the way through so important. It's used in sales all the time. (SEARCH THIS SITE FOR OUR ARTICLES ON NLP and MIND CONTROL)

-One who seems they could never betray you, seems trustworthy, and one who would never let you down, is one who is probably very likely to break your trust easily. In fact, the whole time, an online predator is continuously breaking your trust by assuring you how "trustworthy" or "truthful" he is, luring you into the fake comforts of the predator.



-An online predator cleverly plans things, many times with every little detail mapped and sorted out, making sure he successfully gets you to believing his stories, and him, damaging you as well, for his own benefits and satisfaction, though you don't realize it.(above from our published article: LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR

This all started as very innocent chat between old friends. However, typical of the cyberpath, he moved his agenda along seamlessly. He used phrases and words about himself that were meant for Target #1 to feel that way (while he felt nothing at all!) Target #1 had NO IDEA what he was doing. "J"/ Yidwithlid was all the time information gathering for MIRRORING, PROFILING, TENDERIZING HER MIND and LURING her in.



STAY 'TUNED!' More posts as the month goes along.



yidwithlid

GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid - Our February 2005 Predator of the 'Month'

Our Predator of the Month for

June 2007, In Review: GRIDNEY aka YIDWITHLID aka Sammy Benoit

(real name: JEFF DUNETZ)



We are re-running this expose because

1. there have been some updates which we will post later in the month and

2. it was, like our first Ed Hicks, very complete - including chat transcripts or emails - to show the classic patterns of mind control, seduction and abuse used by cyberpaths. (ORIGINALLY POSTED IN FEBRUARY 2005)



The reason we are not giving any identifying information about this person (such as real name or location) is due to legal and police investigations concerning activities this person was involved in as per the police department involved's request to EOPC. Also, at the request of Target #1 to be compassionate towards his wife & children. The reasons for doing this will be clearer once this story unfolds.



Chat transcripts were recieved from & with verification by law enforcement, from Target #2 and the permission of law enforcement (once law enforcement had them - they had control over the information) - at our request. Target #1, after much debate - allowed us to publish just a few of them, with her edits to protect the wife & children of this cyberpath. They cannot and have not been edited in any way other than to remove identifying information.



All photos of gridney/ Yidwithlid were received from Target #2 - who comes along later in this story. Target #2 provided us with her statement as well, independent of any of gridney/ Yidwithlid's other targets.



We obtained some IMs between yidwithlid and Target #1 via law enforcement. We will try to post the more pertinent of these chats rather than take up bandwith; and portions of IM conversations where appropriate.



Excerpts we got from interviewing both Targets will be used. (These were the first chats EOPC has ever gotten that were accompanied by verifications from computer forensics with law enforcement as being unedited and genuinely coming from the IPs of the persons chatting.)

************************

"J"/ Yidwithlid's online nickname at the time of this incident was: GRIDNEY



In April 2002, "J"/ Yidwithlid sent an email to Target #1. He had 'come across' her name and email address on Classmates.com.'



They had attended college together about 30 years ago. "J"/ Yidwithlid transferred out to another university after 1 1/2 years at the college they both attended without telling Target #1 he was even leaving or where he was going. She never heard from him again nor did she make any attempt to ever contact him. "J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 had a brief intimate relationship but more importantly to Target #1, what she thought was a good friendship.



"I don't chase men. I never have. Yidwithlid gave me a little indication he was interested in a real relationship with me back then, but it was sporatic. In fact, just the opposite. When he left the school I had no idea where he went. He never even said goodbye. I could have easily found out where he was because I worked part time for the college legal department. But I would never do something like that that. I was heartbroken but I knew when I wasn't wanted.... even as a friend." - Target #1



And "J"/ Yidwithlid, 27 years later, at home on his computer, looking for prey - something to 'have a little fun' with, broke, depressed and unemployed... looked her up.

"...choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of recent adverse circumstances), or can easily be made so - for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce.



The perfect victim has some natural quality that attracts you. The strong emotions this quality inspires will help make your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase." -



The Art of Seduction (Greene)

The reason we are doing this story? - because in this case - the predator and prey KNEW each other, for years. This wasn't anonymous, random or circumstantial. Target #1 wasn't some woman looking for love in a chat room. In this case, the adage of "stick to who & what you know" went totally awry.



"J"/ YidwithLid shared only a couple of his nicknames and IMs with Target #1. Within 3 days of the email, they were chatting and catching up. "J"/ Yidwithlid is married and has children. Lives well over an hour away from Target #1. Had lost a major executive job from downsizing. Was looking for work, bored (looking for prey - some distraction), no money to do his usual "online fun" and collecting unemployment.



Target #1 had been on permanent disability for 7 years by that time after working most of her life. Both Target #1 and "J"/ Yidwithlid had worked in similar areas and even the same buildings but had never, in all that time, run into each other. Target #1 also had children and was estranged from her husband of many years, being denied a divorce, controlled, entrapped and being seriously abused.



"J"/ Yidwithlid and Target #1 spent a lot of time just talking about life, what had happened in the years between, their families, friends, whatever-happened-to, and so on. (Typical cyberpath, profiling her and testing the waters to see where she stood and how far he could push things) Then about 2 weeks into the conversation, "J"/ Yidwithlid asked about her marriage.



"Typical of many abused women - I just wanted to be "nice." My marriage was over and had been for about 5 years. I didn't have the funds to take the kids and move out and no where to go.



I should have gone to a domestic violence center but like so many women in upscale marriages, I felt I would have been stigmatized. I talked to yidwithlid about my concerns freely; about the abusive I was experiencing but it just felt wrong to say 'I feel nothing for my husband and I am pushing a pro bono lawyer to divorce him when it's feasible.



I had NO Idea where yidwithlid was going to take this and I had no reason to mistrust him in the beginning. He seemed to genuinely want to talk to me a great deal."- Target #1

"At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the periphery of your target's life-approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Arrange an occasional "chance" encounter, as if you and your target were destined to become acquainted-nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike."



- The Art of Seduction (Greene)

"J"/ Yidwithlid in an ICQ chat (where it started - this relationship moved to other chat platforms as it went along) he asked Target #1 if he could ask her something personal, about women. Target #1 said sure, figuring - this was an old friend and another adult, no problems - no reason to question. "J"/ Yidwithlid then told her:



"J": it's about sex

Target #1: I am a big girl, shoot

"J": my wife, she's very..... cold

Target #1: what do you mean

"J": she's so

"J": practical

"J":can I ask you something

Target #1: sure

"J": during sex.... do you like ####

Target #1: sure

"J": do most women like it

Target #1: I dont know

Target #1: come on, your wife & I can't be the only women you have ever been with

Target #1: what about your other girfriends?

"J": my wife she won't allow me to ### (Yidwithlid evades her question!)

Target #1: is she sensitive? or was she ever abused in some way?

"J": no

Target #1: you sure?

"J": yes

Target #1: you asked her?

"J": yes

"J": she also s never "in teh mood"

Target #1:she works and takes care of u & the kids

Target #1: women get very tired you know - thats a lot

Target #1: takes more than sex to make a marriage work

"J": I am not sure how I feel about her anymore

Target #1: have you talked to her about it

"J": no

Target #1: why

"J": dunno (evades again)

"J": and she wont let me ### after sex

"J": one time I asked her to ### and she flipped out

Target #1: if this is too personal tell me

"J": ok

Target #1: was she this way before you got married

"J": no

"J": she was great

Target #1: she is tired - kids and taking care of a home and working is a lot

"J": no

"J": she has help (evades again)

"J": she had a very bad boyfriend before me

Target #1: then maybe she has issues and needs to talk

Target #1: why don't you take her out to lunch while you are home, romance her. you need to talk to her

"J": she would say no

"J": she says she loves me but

"J": I asked her if she wold #### so I wold knw what she likes

Target #1: and?

"J": she flipped out

Target #1: sorry but I don't think I would do that either

"J": what about u?

Target #1: what about me?

"J": you and H?

Target #1: we are not intimate anymore

"J": why?

Target #1: we just arent

"J": you still love him?

Target #1: no

"J": did you ver

Target #1: o yes

"J": what happend

Target #1: lng story

"J": tell me

Target #1: some other time

Target #1:have you thought about counseling for you & your wife

"J": no

"J": I wold nevr do that

Target #1: man thing?

"J": no I wold nevr talk to someone

Target #1: but you are talking to me

"J": yes but

"J": we know each othr

Target #1: ok

(April 2002)



Here's where the seduction and mind control techniques start:

- he puts her in the position of "HELPING" him



- asks about sex, and is very polite about it



- evades answering direct questions



- tells her he can talk/open up to her



- tells her HIS marriage isn't going well



- she offers advice (helper position)



- he puts himself in the 'pity me' or 'martyr' position to prey on her compassionate nature



- tell her he TRUSTS her (verbal 'implantation' to make her feel she should TRUST him TOO!!)



Check www.speedseduction.com and www.seducersworld.com for some of this predatory methodology also used by sales, advertising and personal growth gurus.



We asked Target #1 for her story because this is about establishing and ANCHORING a close, intimate and comfortable relationship in the Target so they won't even know what hit them. That's what makes reading many of these stories all the way through so important. It's used in sales all the time. (SEARCH THIS SITE FOR OUR ARTICLES ON NLP and MIND CONTROL)

-One who seems they could never betray you, seems trustworthy, and one who would never let you down, is one who is probably very likely to break your trust easily. In fact, the whole time, an online predator is continuously breaking your trust by assuring you how "trustworthy" or "truthful" he is, luring you into the fake comforts of the predator.



-An online predator cleverly plans things, many times with every little detail mapped and sorted out, making sure he successfully gets you to believing his stories, and him, damaging you as well, for his own benefits and satisfaction, though you don't realize it.(above from our published article: LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR

This all started as very innocent chat between old friends. However, typical of the cyberpath, he moved his agenda along seamlessly. He used phrases and words about himself that were meant for Target #1 to feel that way (while he felt nothing at all!) Target #1 had NO IDEA what he was doing. "J"/ Yidwithlid was all the time information gathering for MIRRORING, PROFILING, TENDERIZING HER MIND and LURING her in.



STAY 'TUNED!' More posts as the month goes along.



yidwithlid