READING RED FLAG BEHAVIORS IN INTERNET DATING

by Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN

So you’re single again and the concept of Internet dating seems new and exciting! Upon your first glimpse, you feel like a kid in a candy store! New partners by the hundreds! People just like you – divorced, or otherwise broken relationships, hurt feelings, wounded souls – just looking to be loved by someone like YOU! Right??

Well, beware. Just as you need to be careful when you meet people in the bar scene, the Internet is chock full of predators as well. However, there are lots of "Red Flags" to look for to protect yourself, IF you know how to read the signs.

I’m tempted to write a book just on Internet dating "smarts." You know – things like what to say and not to say to appear to be kind, generous, and all those things that make the writer appear to be a perfect catch. And yet, how would the unsuspecting know then? The red flags would all be hidden and booby traps would be walked into by unsuspecting victims by the score!

Naw – I think it’s best to warn you – the recipient, what to look for and let the narcissistic Don Juan’s (or their female counterparts) show their true colors for what they are!

Here are a few actual statements from profiles of men currently on the Internet dating scene …

"I’m one of those individuals that is looking for a attractive, well kept, female…"

On his description of himself, he claims to be "very attractive."(Big red flag!) Hmmmm… has he looked in the mirror lately? Balding, slightly overweight, posed in three pictures on his Harley need I say more?

"Seeking smart, funny, sexy, balanced, introspective, well read, credible, flexible, independent, complete woman with a fine ass. If her ass is other than fine, I’ll guess we’ll have to focus on her brains and personality. If you’re not smiling right now, then my sense of humor either didn’t translate or you’ll not think me charming."

Was that supposed to be cute and endear him to me? I’ll pass…

Then of course, there are the guys who list their income, ($100,000 -$200,000!) and absolutely nothing else about themselves! Guess they figure that with their money they can get anyone they want. If you fall for that, it’s important to realize up front that money is the only thing important to them. There will not be depth of character, an interesting, empathetic personality, an interest in YOU.

"I dress my women in the finest clothes." (MY WOMEN?!)

This actual statement came from the same $200,000 income gentleman who sent me this quick email that said, "Meet me at Jake’s Bar tomorrow night at 7. You won’t be disappointed!" That’s it. No info on him except about his money and how he "dressed HIS women in the finest clothes."

Hmmmmm… when I opened up his photos, there he was with a woman who looked just like me! Talk about CREEPY!

I wrote him back and said "No thank you," that I didn’t think our profiles showed much in common. He wrote back livid … "What? You’re refusing to meet with me?" In essence … his ego screamed back over email, (never a pretty site) and I blocked any further communication with this demigod with all his money and fine clothes!

Another man (age 64), "winked" at me (I’m 48) to show me that he was interested. I guess he thought he was saving himself time and trouble with a bio that said something like this:

"I have retired here in Texas where it is warm and I can spend lots of time on my boat. Seeking a wonderful, attractive, intelligent woman companion to do the same with me. No fatties please."

NO FATTIES, PLEASE?!

Does he think that only overweight women will then leave him alone? Is he so blind not to understand that ANY woman with a brain will see that and say "What a jerk!"

Then of course, there are those mid life crisis statements that send me running the other way… Things like "Seeking someone age 25 – 35" when they themselves are 45 or beyond. (What, do they want to date their daughter? Will she even know what he’s talking about when he mentions the Kennedy asassination?) Or even weirder, the guy is age 45 but he’s looking for someone up to age 44. Now what’s up with that?

Of course, the other side of that is someone who is middle aged but has to be sure to tell readers in the first paragraph that "I look and act much younger than my age." PLEEAAASSEEEE!!!

Of course, if you do meet with one that seems like Mr. (or Ms.) Right, don’t be surprised if the person who arrives for your date looks 10 or 15 years older than the person in the photos … posting pics from the "younger years" seems to be a common behavior as well!

If someone seems too good to be true … they probably are!

SOURCE

'Maze of Online Dating'

EOPC is publishing this to point on the chronic lying implicit in online dating. We believe the author minimizes the danger inherent here.

EOPC NEVER recommends or approves of Online Dating to meet people. Under ANY circumstances. Join a volunteer organization but NEVER Online Dating.

His online profile -- dark hair, 5'6", athletic build -- caught her attention and the e-mail exchange went well, so Carla Riemersma agreed to meet the 58-year-old Wisconsin man in person.

But the nonathletic, 5-foot-2, 64-year-old, bald man who greeted her on the date didn't exactly match his cyber persona.

"I'm looking for this stud-muffin, and it didn't quite turn out that way," Riemersma said.

Frustrating dates such as this inspired Riemersma, a 65-year-old college professor from the Hudsonville area, to start taking notes.

The result is her book, "What are the Odds? The Likelihood of Finding Love and Romance in Cyberspace." In it, Riemersma, shares her personal adventure and documents the pitfalls of looking for love online. She takes an academic approach to the topic with statistical research.

Riemersma, who teaches at Baker College and the University of Phoenix, spent about $500 for 15 months of online dating services, including Match.com, Yahoo.com, Sexy Ads, American Singles, Senior Friend Finders and eHarmony. She met more then 200 men, sometimes fitting as many as three dates into a single day.

To research the book, she spent four years reviewing 4,000 active profiles randomly chosen from several well-known Internet dating sites and conducted interviews with nearly 300 Internet daters. About a third of those participants were women.

She often would arrive at a meeting with her date's profile in hand to compare reality to what was advertised online. When people lied, she made a note of it. She found 97.5 percent of the online daters she interviewed were dishonest about their profile, with women most likely to fib about age and weight while men often fudged their age and marital status.

White lies
Riemersma calls it "cyber-truth" when people post a false age, weight or marital status in an effort to get a date.

... Now, she strongly advises people to be honest from the beginning if they're serious about finding a person to love them as they are.

TIPS
Dating detective work

Online dating tips from Carla Riemersma, author of "What are the Odds? The Likelihood of Finding Love and Romance in Cyberspace":

• Do not lie or exaggerate when writing your profile.

• Use a current photo.

• Avoid confusion -- list your ground rules for the first date in your profile.

• Do not give out personal information via the Internet.

• Use a cell phone instead of home phone if you decide to call your date.

• Once you know your date's name, do a Google or Yahoo search. Read ALL the pages.

• Always meet in a public place for the first date.

• Never consume alcohol on your first few dates, and monitor alcohol consumption of the person you are dating.

• Always tell someone where you will be during the first date, and make sure your date knows you're going to call that person during the date to say you're OK.

• Make sure you have your own transportation to and from the date.

"Eventually, you have to meet, and how do you explain the extra 20 pounds if you listed yourself as slim or athletic?" she writes.

She said about 60 percent of the men who stated they were single, separated or divorced still were married. So, she quickly developed a radar for men with tan lines on their ring fingers and indentations where a wedding band usually goes.

"It was so obvious," she said.

One guy showed up to a date with a bandage wrapped around his ring finger. She asked if he'd had a mishap with a saber saw. It turned out the man's finger was fine, but he was married.

Throwing in the towel
Terri Timmer, 52, of Grand Rapids, tried cyberdating for a few months, but gave up in frustration about a month ago.

In contrast, Ken Cote, 47, of Lake Odessa, has had pretty good luck meeting women online. ... It helps that he is a private investigator. He says he does background checks on his dates -- and he checks on the people his friends are dating, too...

Falsehoods
While Riemersma was researching her book, there were an estimated 40 million people dating online in the United States and more than 1,200 online dating sites. Those numbers continue to grow.

Original article here

Bi-Polars and Internet Relationships

What Makes Internet Relationships So Desirable?

by Paula (about.com)



People are drawn to cyber-romances for the same reasons they are drawn to face-to-face romances - either they don't have a "real-life" love relationship, or there is something missing in their "real-life" love relationship. On the internet, they may indeed find what they are missing. Or, because of the partial anonymity of cyberspace - which allows lots of room for fantasy and imagination - they may only THINK they have found what they are missing.



The "exotic" and/or "magical" quality of a cyber-romances might be one factor that attracts some people. The lover's presence enters your home (or office) without the person physically being there, which feels very magical. People also enjoy the secrecy that an internet romance provides.



An internet romance can be carried out from home or office without the knowledge of others around us.



It's well known that people say and do things in cyberspace that they wouldn't ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world. They loosen up, feel more uninhibited, express themselves more openly. Researchers call this the "disinhibition effect." When people have the opportunity to separate their actions from their real world and identity, they feel less vulnerable about opening up. Whatever they say or do can't be directly linked to the rest of their lives. They don't have to own their behavior by acknowledging it within the full context of who they "really" are. When acting out hostile feelings, the person doesn't have to take responsibility for those actions. In fact, people might even convince themselves that those behaviors "aren't me at all." In psychology this is called "dissociation."



The Problems

Online relationships can happen incredibly fast.



When involved online with someone, you don't experience the negative body language or warning signals that may occur when you meet face to face.



You are taking the other person's word on trust -

while he or she may be romancing four or five others with the same lines that you find appealing.



You may be giving a false impression of yourself due to disinhibition.



What Makes Bipolar People So Vulnerable?

Hypersexuality - hypersexuality is a real problem for the manic bipolar. Because it feels very good, and very powerful, it can be a driving force that propels all thought, all feeling, and all motive. Hypersexuality often causes us to engage in flirtatious, seductive behavior that we would never otherwise consider. Hypersexuality often causes us to abandon real relationships, and it can lead us into dangerous online (and offline) situations. Worst of all, it often causes irreparable damage to integrity, dignity, and reputation.



Perceptual problems - the bipolar often wrongly interprets subtle nuances in voice and body language even when having a physical conversation. In the surreal, artificial environment of the internet, those nuances are further limited by our inability to express them electronically. It's very easy for you - and the person with whom you are communicating - to misinterpret intentions and motives.



Poor impulse control - the desire to live in the moment (without consideration of future consequences) can be real a problem, especially during periods of mania and depression.



Poor self-esteem - bipolars often have a desperate need for attention, friendship, and validation from other human beings. These feelings make us very, very vulnerable to internet stalking, manipulation, and deceit.



Grandiosity - when afflicted with grandiosity, we think we have absolute clarity and can do no wrong. All of our decisions - even the horrifically bad ones - "feel right," and they all make perfect sense.



(be aware - many of these traits apply to psychopaths and narcissists also. Only a qualified mental health professional would be able to diagnose someone as Bi-Polar)



Part 2: Warning Signals and Self-Protection



Now suppose you have met someone via the internet who appeals to you. There are several precautions you can take and a number of warning signals to watch for - signals that can tell you the person on the other end of the chat, forum or email relationship is not what he or she appears to be.



How do you protect yourself?

Be aware of the red flags listed below.



Run your relationship past an unafflicted family member or friend for a second opinion. Listen to his or her responses. Tell your online partner up front that you will be doing this. If the online person insists that you keep the relationship a secret, it's a sure bet that there are troubled waters ahead.



If at any time your instinct tells you that something is wrong; even if you know or "think" you know that person... it probably is. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.



Internet Relationships: Red Flags

Some warning signs that you need to watch for in ALL romantic involvements, and especially on the internet with someone you have never really met:



Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you.



Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags.



Abusive or controlling behavior: Give and take, tempered by some compromise here and there, indicates that a relationship is healthy. However, if one of the persons involved wants everything on his/her terms, then serious problems can arise. Furthermore, there are those who will become verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive if they do not get their way.



Argumentative and irritating behavior: Some people are just contrary. They will question much of what you say to them, put their own twist on it, or challenge your every thought. Basically, they are full of themselves and feel that their opinion is the only one that counts.



Sexual behavior: If your online friend is pressuring you for cybersex, you just might ask yourself the question, "how many others have there been and how many more will there be?"



Inconsistent behavior: Watch for inconsistencies in information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, job, etc. Keep notes!



Avoidant behavior: Consistent failure to provide direct answers to direct questions.



No contact numbers: If you've progressed to telephone contact, and any of the following situations sound familiar, be prepared to further investigate the possibility of a spouse, live-in, or other situation you may not be aware of:

• You have to page them for them to call you back.
• They use a separate line. If so, try calling their main line at random times.
• You can only call during certain periods of time (if this applies to you, try calling at different time periods to see who answers the phone).
• They will only call you, therefore not allowing you to call them.

Protecting Yourself Online

You may enjoy flirting online with that 25-year-old blonde female hottie with the psych degree ... but imagine how surprised you would be to discover that the "young lady" you've been flirting with online, is really a balding middle-aged male factory worker with a beer belly? The sad fact is, the person that you are involved with could be lying to you.

Deception via internet is incredibly easy.

An exchange of pictures via email means nothing. Go slowly. Meet regularly in the same chat room with others around and see how your love interest treats those others - and how the others interact with him or her.



DO'S AND DON'TS OF INTERNET ROMANCE

It's important to remember that online we never really know who we're talking to or what they're real motives are. Until you can internalize that fact, the internet is a dangerous place for you to be spending time.



Safety on the Net

When giving out your geographical location, limit yourself to region only, rather than the exact name of the town, province or neighborhood.



NEVER, EVER give out your work or home phone number to unfamiliar people! Establish a LONG, LONG record of trust before agreeing to do this.



If you must talk on the phone, get the telephone number to a pay telephone near you, and arrange a time when you can be at that phone. Make sure the pay phone you select is able to receive incoming calls. Be Safe!!



If you're going to put your picture on the internet, you have NO reason to believe it's going to stay where you put it. In fact, anybody can right click on an image and take it from a web site. That person that you send it to just might decide to pass it on to friends, and who would know?

Remember, once you put it up, you have NO idea where it's going.

Don't brag. You're sending an open invitation to those who would defraud you, if you tell them you own a house or two, a few cars, etc. Limit how much information you give out!



When you settle on a single relationship, make sure you set up a secondary email account to be used just for this relationship. You can quickly shut it down should things seem not right.



Now suppose the person you have met has passed all the tests and you've decided to take the next step - a face-to-face meeting.



Don't assume that because the object of your affections has not tripped any warning lights during your online relationship, it is perfectly safe to meet.

Keep in mind that when chemistry is the strongest, you are the most vulnerable.

Before you dismiss an online relationship as "harmless," remember that the lack of accountability, the ease of deception, and the anonymity provided by the keyboard all make the online relationship a potential source of instability and even danger.



If you do decide to meet someone offline:



Always meet in a public place! Don't even agree that the parking lot is a good idea - you have NO PROTECTION from anything in a parking lot, and no, your car is NOT SAFE! You can be easily overpowered, you don't know if other cars in the parking lot are safe, and nobody from within another car is likely to see you.



Always tell a friend or relative where you will be and write that information down!



Never allow yourself to be picked up for the first meeting. If you don't own transportation, get a ride from a friend, take a cab, or bus. Do not become a statistic! It is never safe to leave your home with a total stranger or to give a total stranger your address - and no matter how well you think you know someone you met online, at this point he or she IS a total stranger.



Women - never leave your purse unattended, even if the person you are meeting offers to watch it for you. Contained within your purse or whatever you carry is not only the obvious personal information, but your car and house keys. You may not notice they're gone in time.



Never leave your drink on the table or bar! If you have to go to the bathroom, or leave for whatever reason, take your drink with you. If that is not possible, dump it out! Order a fresh one when you return. Rohypnol - commonly known as the date rape drug - is not the only drug you need to be concerned about.



If possible, get a cellular phone. Even if everything goes great, what if the unthinkable were to happen and you were followed home? Lock the car, drive to a busy lighted area, and don't open your car door for ANY reason unless you see the red lights of a police car in your rear view mirror ... and even then, only open that window about an inch. You are safe inside your car if you restrict access. The cell phone is your friend - use it.



Be very aware of your surroundings! Memorize important landmarks such as where the telephone is, park in a well-lit area, and ask someone to walk you to your car in the event the meeting does not go as well as you had hoped. You only have one life, protect it!



A NOTE ABOUT STALKING AND HARASSEMENT

Cyberstalking is defined as "the use of the Internet, e-mail or other electronic communications device, including IM services, to stalk or harass a person."



Cyberstalkers usually target their victims through chat rooms, message boards, discussion forums and e-mail. Cyberstalking takes many forms such as: threatening or obscene e-mail; spamming (in which a stalker sends a victim a multitude of junk e-mail); live chat harassment or flaming (online verbal abuse); leaving improper messages on message boards or in guest books; sending electronic viruses; sending unsolicited e-mail; and electronic identity theft.



Online stalking can be a terrifying experience for victims, placing them at risk for psychological trauma and possible physical harm. Cyberstalking shares important characteristics with offline stalking. Many stalkers - online or off - are motivated by a desire to exert control over their victims and engage in similar types of behavior to accomplish this end. In many documented cyberstalking cases, the cyberstalker and the victim had a prior relationship, and the cyberstalking began when the victim attempted to break off the relationship.



Many cyberstalking situations do evolve into off-line stalking, and a victim may experience abusive and excessive phone calls, vandalism, threatening or obscene mail, trespassing, and physical assault.



Experts suggest that in cases where the offender is known, victims should send the stalker a clear written warning. Specifically, victims should communicate that the contact is unwanted, and ask the perpetrator to cease sending communications of any kind. Then, no matter the response, victims should under no circumstances ever communicate with the stalker again.



As soon as you suspect you are experiencing online harassment or cyberstalking, start collecting all evidence and document all contact made by the stalker. Save all e-mail, postings, or other communications in both electronic and hard-copy form. Record the dates and times of any contact with the stalker. If the harassment continues, you may wish to file a complaint with the stalker's Internet service provider, as well as with you own service provider.



Finally, under no circumstances should victims agree to meet with the perpetrator face to face to "work it out," or "talk." No contact should ever be made with the stalker. Meeting a stalker in person can be very dangerous.



from - about.com

HOW TO AVOID LETTING A ONLINE PREDATOR PLAY WITH YOU

by CAZimmy818@aol.com

#1. If he sounds too good to be true, guess what, he's not !! He may just be 'mirroring' and profiling you while he moves in on you emotionally & spiritually.

#2 Make sure your antennas are in good working order, and when they talk to you, LISTEN CLOSELY. Don't bypass any red flags or a rise of your antennas. Don't tell yourself men are just 'that way' or you are 'making too much of' something.

#3 Don't center your life around this new friend. Fact of the matter is, he is just words on a screen. Keep up with friends in the real world

#4 If he tells you he loves you before meeting him face to face, don't believe him, they are only words to him; he doesn't feel them!!

#5. If he gives you a long sob story and always has a new crisis in his life. Run as fast as you can, and hide too. Would you truly want to live your life with one crisis after another?

#6. Before you go to private IM's with a new friend, spend time in the group chats with him and see how he interacts with other women, and continue to go to chats with him, even as the private friendship progresses !!

#7. Stick pretty close to home. Someone who you could meet for lunch, think about it, could be up to as much as 3 hours away !! If he refuses to meet you - WARNING!!! He's hiding something.

#8. All players have a mean streak underneath all that mush. Given time it will surface and when it does, don't ignore it! Does he pout or give guilt when you argue or set boundaries (you say: I need a few days to think about it.... and yet he continues to email or IM you)? Or when you're arguing, does he insist on staying on the computer when you try and phone. If you listen closely on the phone, you just may hear amusement in his voice! Or does he drop offline for days (probably blocking you while chatting to others) when things don't go his way?

#9. Seems that players move fast & quick with the: "I love you's, this was meant to be, it is God's plan, you are my soulmate, we are building a foundation for our love, let's tear down walls and build bridges," etc. Face it, ladies, this happens only on rare occasions and you don't fall in love with someone you have NEVER MET and spent time with.

#10. Even if you KNOW him (from an old job, school, old neighborhood) - if he pushes for quick sex, says he can't control himself, has to be with you - after not seeing or speaking to you for years - LOOK OUT!! This isn't the person you thought you knew.

#11. Surf a couple search engines on his name and nickname(s) and read EVERY PAGE THAT COMES UP... you'd be surprised what is on page 47!!

These men TARGET lonely women in bad marriages/ relationships, who may be abused, vulnerable, naive, middle aged, low self-esteem, disabled, single mothers and/ or are financially stable (so they can empty your bank account) and so on!!

Definitions of a "Player"

WHAT IS A PLAYER?

There are many different (and overlapping) types, but if any of these sound familiar to you, "red flag" them.

Married - The most common type of Player is without doubt the "married" one, but who never tells you he is married. "red flags" to look for - won't give you his home phone number only his mobile, won't give you his address, or can only chat to you during the day ("red flag") is talking to you from work rather than from home.

Married, but - 'wife neglects me, no sex life left' , etc. "red flag" in most cases the only type of relationship you will have will be a "dead end" one full of lies.

Mr. Blowhard - definitely a "red flag" - all he wants is an audience to listen to and believe his bogus stories of danger and bravery, or he has a promising career, brilliant future etc., but all snatched away from him due to an accident or serious injury. He needs your sympathy, and when you get tired of listening, he'll just move on to find a new audience.

Hit & Run Player - another "red flag" usually the younger guys just practicing or fine tuning their chat up lines. You will probably receive love poems, links to the most romantic places on the net etc. Very easy to believe they really love only YOU.

Body Surfers - These guys are easy to spot. The broach the subject of sex early in the relationship. - They are only looking for sex … phone sex, cyber sex, pictures, videos or real sex.

The Globe Trotter - Single/married players who travel for a living. They usually have a laptop as well as access to computer at home/work. They are looking to find women who live "on their appointed rounds" (easy to find doing an advanced search of profiles). Some of these guys go so far as to "say" they have big jobs like working for a millionaire or celebrity, they are in the FBI or CIA, etc. They then IM or e-mail you saying they are intrigued by your profile etc., and how much in common you seem to have. After they have you chatting a few times amazingly they will happen to be in your area next week and could they come and see you. Once hooked they can add you to their visiting list (saves spending lonely nights in an hotel!!).

Mr. Big - They usually own their own business (they use that as "bait" which we are meant to translate as "I'm a good catch". Or they may let it slip early in the relationship that they own their own business, or they claim to be a lawyer, a doctor or other highly-paid professional. Now think about it. The same as us women, men want to be loved for themselves, NOT their assets so this man needs a "red flag" too. Can you really believe that a real Professional man would have the time to hang around in chat rooms.

The Sympathy Dog - He gives you a long sob story and then everyday there is a new crisis in his life. All he wants from you are daily "pity parties" - just don't fall for it.

Then we get onto the more serious Players, the real Con men who can cause you enormous emotional distress, harassment and stalking:

The Control Freak - He will also have a sob story and use your sympathy to manipulate you to get his own way. Stories you might hear - has a bad heart condition, or needs a kidney transplant, has cancer but it's in remission. These supposed afflictions are for the purpose of "control" .. whenever you step out of line, the following reaction will occur: you added to his depression and he's feeling suicidal, he starts getting chest pains, he has to go on dialysis, the cancer comes out of remission. Using your feelings of guilt, he will quickly have you back under his thumb again.

The Guilt Trip Player - If you don't fall for his MO which he has worked so hard on, then he will throw a temper tantrum. You will probably receive an e-mail from a supposed friend/relative informing you he committed suicide, implying it was over you of course. Then this friend/relative will keep contact with you for weeks to come with details of the funeral and how devastated the family is etc. Or you will be told he was in some terrible accident and is dying (and you are supposed to feel very guilty about how you treated him. (Shame on you! LOL)

The Freeloaders - This type of player is looking for financial support. He will woo you and then suggest something like "I love you too much to take you away from your family and friends, but I am prepared to move nearer to you." "Could I stay with you for a bit to check out the housing situation/job situation etc.". Big "red flag" comes to stay with you, has no money, alcoholic, drug addict says he'll change if you will just stick by him, help him out for a bit financially. Once in your home - you will have a real job to get him out again.

The Cyberpaths (Online Sociopaths) - These are the worse of the bunch... This type always looks for the easy to bait, vulnerable women, widows, newly divorced, women recovering from a recent heartbreak etc. They lurk, using different screen names, in the widows, classmates.com, divorced, Al-Anon or mature chat rooms (40's, 50's 60's) They start out romancing you like a player does, but it's for an ulterior motive; they become obsessive and then they become the online harasser, the stalker... or worse.

Also a Cyberpath, the Emotional Hitchhiker - They generally look for their "sheep" in rooms that involve emotional support -- widows & widowers, divorced, disabled, abused etc. (really sensitive & vulnerable people). They will start out as being this great and wonderful guy who has also been widowed or divorced and is in a lot of emotional pain. They will use two different screen names (pretending to be two different people) - one who is a man falling in love with you: the other, a man who just wants your friendship. After they have you madly in love with them, then they will fake their own death. You will receive an e-mail from a family member or friend informing you he: died in a car accident, sudden heart attack etc. Then, using their other screen name, they will hear first hand of your reaction: hear all you grief and complete devastation, getting a complete "high" from your emotions. OR they may tell you they just found out they have cancer, terminal - of course and drag it out for six months or se, getting daily "highs" from your sympathies and your heartbreak. When the "highs" start to falter, then you will receive notice of their "very painful" death.

Definitions of a "Player"

WHAT IS A PLAYER?

There are many different (and overlapping) types, but if any of these sound familiar to you, "red flag" them.

Married - The most common type of Player is without doubt the "married" one, but who never tells you he is married. "red flags" to look for - won't give you his home phone number only his mobile, won't give you his address, or can only chat to you during the day ("red flag") is talking to you from work rather than from home.

Married, but - 'wife neglects me, no sex life left' , etc. "red flag" in most cases the only type of relationship you will have will be a "dead end" one full of lies.

Mr. Blowhard - definitely a "red flag" - all he wants is an audience to listen to and believe his bogus stories of danger and bravery, or he has a promising career, brilliant future etc., but all snatched away from him due to an accident or serious injury. He needs your sympathy, and when you get tired of listening, he'll just move on to find a new audience.

Hit & Run Player - another "red flag" usually the younger guys just practicing or fine tuning their chat up lines. You will probably receive love poems, links to the most romantic places on the net etc. Very easy to believe they really love only YOU.

Body Surfers - These guys are easy to spot. The broach the subject of sex early in the relationship. - They are only looking for sex … phone sex, cyber sex, pictures, videos or real sex.

The Globe Trotter - Single/married players who travel for a living. They usually have a laptop as well as access to computer at home/work. They are looking to find women who live "on their appointed rounds" (easy to find doing an advanced search of profiles). Some of these guys go so far as to "say" they have big jobs like working for a millionaire or celebrity, they are in the FBI or CIA, etc. They then IM or e-mail you saying they are intrigued by your profile etc., and how much in common you seem to have. After they have you chatting a few times amazingly they will happen to be in your area next week and could they come and see you. Once hooked they can add you to their visiting list (saves spending lonely nights in an hotel!!).

Mr. Big - They usually own their own business (they use that as "bait" which we are meant to translate as "I'm a good catch". Or they may let it slip early in the relationship that they own their own business, or they claim to be a lawyer, a doctor or other highly-paid professional. Now think about it. The same as us women, men want to be loved for themselves, NOT their assets so this man needs a "red flag" too. Can you really believe that a real Professional man would have the time to hang around in chat rooms.

The Sympathy Dog - He gives you a long sob story and then everyday there is a new crisis in his life. All he wants from you are daily "pity parties" - just don't fall for it.

Then we get onto the more serious Players, the real Con men who can cause you enormous emotional distress, harassment and stalking:

The Control Freak - He will also have a sob story and use your sympathy to manipulate you to get his own way. Stories you might hear - has a bad heart condition, or needs a kidney transplant, has cancer but it's in remission. These supposed afflictions are for the purpose of "control" .. whenever you step out of line, the following reaction will occur: you added to his depression and he's feeling suicidal, he starts getting chest pains, he has to go on dialysis, the cancer comes out of remission. Using your feelings of guilt, he will quickly have you back under his thumb again.

The Guilt Trip Player - If you don't fall for his MO which he has worked so hard on, then he will throw a temper tantrum. You will probably receive an e-mail from a supposed friend/relative informing you he committed suicide, implying it was over you of course. Then this friend/relative will keep contact with you for weeks to come with details of the funeral and how devastated the family is etc. Or you will be told he was in some terrible accident and is dying (and you are supposed to feel very guilty about how you treated him. (Shame on you! LOL)

The Freeloaders - This type of player is looking for financial support. He will woo you and then suggest something like "I love you too much to take you away from your family and friends, but I am prepared to move nearer to you." "Could I stay with you for a bit to check out the housing situation/job situation etc.". Big "red flag" comes to stay with you, has no money, alcoholic, drug addict says he'll change if you will just stick by him, help him out for a bit financially. Once in your home - you will have a real job to get him out again.

The Cyberpaths (Online Sociopaths) - These are the worse of the bunch... This type always looks for the easy to bait, vulnerable women, widows, newly divorced, women recovering from a recent heartbreak etc. They lurk, using different screen names, in the widows, classmates.com, divorced, Al-Anon or mature chat rooms (40's, 50's 60's) They start out romancing you like a player does, but it's for an ulterior motive; they become obsessive and then they become the online harasser, the stalker... or worse.

Also a Cyberpath, the Emotional Hitchhiker - They generally look for their "sheep" in rooms that involve emotional support -- widows & widowers, divorced, disabled, abused etc. (really sensitive & vulnerable people). They will start out as being this great and wonderful guy who has also been widowed or divorced and is in a lot of emotional pain. They will use two different screen names (pretending to be two different people) - one who is a man falling in love with you: the other, a man who just wants your friendship. After they have you madly in love with them, then they will fake their own death. You will receive an e-mail from a family member or friend informing you he: died in a car accident, sudden heart attack etc. Then, using their other screen name, they will hear first hand of your reaction: hear all you grief and complete devastation, getting a complete "high" from your emotions. OR they may tell you they just found out they have cancer, terminal - of course and drag it out for six months or se, getting daily "highs" from your sympathies and your heartbreak. When the "highs" start to falter, then you will receive notice of their "very painful" death.

A NATIONAL MARRIAGE DATABASE IS NEEDED!

THE ABSOLUTE NEED FOR A MARRIAGE DATABASE

Fight Bigamy says:
"Our archaic system is failing in our transitional, wireless-based society of today. Moreover, Internet dating sites have given many of these predators a whole new supply. Our fragile system is taken advantage of by serial bigamists sociopaths and con artists." (and Cyberpaths!)

Click here to read this whole article

~~~~~
"So how do they do it? First of all, sociopaths are experts at sizing up a person’s vulnerabilities. Secondly, they are professional manipulators.

Sociopaths are fluent liars. They sidestep questions and always have a plausible answer when discrepancies are noticed. They create authentic-looking documentation. They imply that other people vouch for them, and actually convince other people to cover for them. They keep people apart so it’s impossible to compare notes.

As a result, it is extremely difficult to spot the deception of a sociopath.

The point of a marriage database is to make the public records searchable."

EXCERPTED FROM THIS WONDERFUL ARTICLE - CLICK HERE

A NATIONAL MARRIAGE DATABASE IS NEEDED!

THE ABSOLUTE NEED FOR A MARRIAGE DATABASE

Fight Bigamy says:
"Our archaic system is failing in our transitional, wireless-based society of today. Moreover, Internet dating sites have given many of these predators a whole new supply. Our fragile system is taken advantage of by serial bigamists sociopaths and con artists." (and Cyberpaths!)

Click here to read this whole article

~~~~~
"So how do they do it? First of all, sociopaths are experts at sizing up a person’s vulnerabilities. Secondly, they are professional manipulators.

Sociopaths are fluent liars. They sidestep questions and always have a plausible answer when discrepancies are noticed. They create authentic-looking documentation. They imply that other people vouch for them, and actually convince other people to cover for them. They keep people apart so it’s impossible to compare notes.

As a result, it is extremely difficult to spot the deception of a sociopath.

The point of a marriage database is to make the public records searchable."

EXCERPTED FROM THIS WONDERFUL ARTICLE - CLICK HERE

Cyber-Scammer Causes Suicide

Divorcee kills himself after falling for £82,000 (~$128,000. U.S.) internet dating con

By Chris Brooke

When lonely divorcee Philip Hunt fell for a beautiful woman on an internet dating site he thought all his prayers had been answered.

She convinced him she was young, fabulously rich and if he could help transfer $2.9million from Nigeria to the UK then they could start a new life together, an inquest heard today.

Unfortunately it was all an elaborate scam that would cost Mr Hunt £82,000 and ultimately his life.

The 58-year-old was hooked on the fantasy of a future with the stunning 'Rose' and he willingly paid out tens of thousands of pounds to help her beat malaria and get her funds through customs and into the UK.

The cargo officer remortgaged his house, took out loans, ran up overdrafts and begged for cash from his employers after repeatedly transferring money across to the fraudsters' account.

Eventually he became so hopelessly mired in debt that he committed suicide by lying down in front of a train.

Although warned by a former girlfriend that he was the victim of a 'scam', Mr Hunt appeared to believe in Rose until the very end.

His mobile phone was found in a rucksack near his body and a text message to Rose - which was never sent - read: 'I'm cold, lonely and depressed, I'm so lonely without you tonight. Going to meet my maker..'

Twice-married Mr Hunt went online in search of love after splitting up with girlfriend of three years Lesley Smith.

He began exchanging texts and emails with Rose, who claimed to be living in Nigeria. She sent him a picture of herself and he quickly fell in love with the attractive white brunette.

Over the months that followed Mr Hunt was tricked into thinking Rose was seriously ill and in desperate need of his help. The prize was the rest of his life with her and her cash.

Each time he came close to arranging a meeting with 'Rose' the anonymous criminals behind the 'romance scam' demanded further cash for hotels, medical bills and travel expenses to the UK.

He even travelled to London to meet two of the fraudsters who claimed they needed money for an expensive solution which would magically turn scrap paper into $100 bills.

Mr Hunt met two 'agents' at the Travelodge near London's City Airport. He was greeted by two large men who opened a case containing scraps of black and grey paper.

One of the men then sprayed a note with a mystery substance which seemed to turn the filthy paper into a $100 in front of his eyes - convincing him to hand over more money to pay for the chemical spray.

Mr Hunt began wiring over money in December 2008. At one stage he asked to borrow £25,000 from his employer, a shipping company at Immingham Docks, but later retracted the request and resigned from his job.

His last contact with the fraudsters was in June last year and he died on August 13 when he was hit by a train and suffered multiple injuries.

Police investigating his death found a handwritten note at his home in Grimsby addressed to them, which read: 'I just can't take it any more.' They also found bundles of emails outlining the huge scale of the fraud and a message predicting his own suicide. He wrote: 'I have insurmountable debts and will take my own life.'

A jury at the inquest in Hull returned a verdict of suicide.

After the hearing former girlfriend Miss Smith said: 'These people are out to get people when they are very vulnerable, they are like vultures. I'd like to alert people to this so they can be aware and be cautious.

'Philip was a quiet and reserved gentleman, and he was very intelligent which makes it all the more unbelievable that he fell for this, but he was at a low ebb and they got him when he was most vulnerable.'

Detective Chief Inspector Danny Snee, of British Transport Police, said: 'People need to be very wary, if something looks too good to be true it usually is. They should be particularly wary about parting with money with someone they have never met, it just doesn't ring true.

'The demands for money for supposed medical bills, hotel bills and travel expenses were endless.'

He said a criminal investigation into the international fraudsters was ongoing, although no arrests have been made.

original article here

Cyber-Scammer Causes Suicide

Divorcee kills himself after falling for £82,000 (~$128,000. U.S.) internet dating con

By Chris Brooke

When lonely divorcee Philip Hunt fell for a beautiful woman on an internet dating site he thought all his prayers had been answered.

She convinced him she was young, fabulously rich and if he could help transfer $2.9million from Nigeria to the UK then they could start a new life together, an inquest heard today.

Unfortunately it was all an elaborate scam that would cost Mr Hunt £82,000 and ultimately his life.

The 58-year-old was hooked on the fantasy of a future with the stunning 'Rose' and he willingly paid out tens of thousands of pounds to help her beat malaria and get her funds through customs and into the UK.

The cargo officer remortgaged his house, took out loans, ran up overdrafts and begged for cash from his employers after repeatedly transferring money across to the fraudsters' account.

Eventually he became so hopelessly mired in debt that he committed suicide by lying down in front of a train.

Although warned by a former girlfriend that he was the victim of a 'scam', Mr Hunt appeared to believe in Rose until the very end.

His mobile phone was found in a rucksack near his body and a text message to Rose - which was never sent - read: 'I'm cold, lonely and depressed, I'm so lonely without you tonight. Going to meet my maker..'

Twice-married Mr Hunt went online in search of love after splitting up with girlfriend of three years Lesley Smith.

He began exchanging texts and emails with Rose, who claimed to be living in Nigeria. She sent him a picture of herself and he quickly fell in love with the attractive white brunette.

Over the months that followed Mr Hunt was tricked into thinking Rose was seriously ill and in desperate need of his help. The prize was the rest of his life with her and her cash.

Each time he came close to arranging a meeting with 'Rose' the anonymous criminals behind the 'romance scam' demanded further cash for hotels, medical bills and travel expenses to the UK.

He even travelled to London to meet two of the fraudsters who claimed they needed money for an expensive solution which would magically turn scrap paper into $100 bills.

Mr Hunt met two 'agents' at the Travelodge near London's City Airport. He was greeted by two large men who opened a case containing scraps of black and grey paper.

One of the men then sprayed a note with a mystery substance which seemed to turn the filthy paper into a $100 in front of his eyes - convincing him to hand over more money to pay for the chemical spray.

Mr Hunt began wiring over money in December 2008. At one stage he asked to borrow £25,000 from his employer, a shipping company at Immingham Docks, but later retracted the request and resigned from his job.

His last contact with the fraudsters was in June last year and he died on August 13 when he was hit by a train and suffered multiple injuries.

Police investigating his death found a handwritten note at his home in Grimsby addressed to them, which read: 'I just can't take it any more.' They also found bundles of emails outlining the huge scale of the fraud and a message predicting his own suicide. He wrote: 'I have insurmountable debts and will take my own life.'

A jury at the inquest in Hull returned a verdict of suicide.

After the hearing former girlfriend Miss Smith said: 'These people are out to get people when they are very vulnerable, they are like vultures. I'd like to alert people to this so they can be aware and be cautious.

'Philip was a quiet and reserved gentleman, and he was very intelligent which makes it all the more unbelievable that he fell for this, but he was at a low ebb and they got him when he was most vulnerable.'

Detective Chief Inspector Danny Snee, of British Transport Police, said: 'People need to be very wary, if something looks too good to be true it usually is. They should be particularly wary about parting with money with someone they have never met, it just doesn't ring true.

'The demands for money for supposed medical bills, hotel bills and travel expenses were endless.'

He said a criminal investigation into the international fraudsters was ongoing, although no arrests have been made.

original article here

Another Online Predator Zeroes in on Lonely Woman

Yet again MORE proof: Stay off all online dating & personals sites. ALL of them are loaded with predators. - Fighter

Carolin Bush wanted companionship, but all the man she met online wanted was financial gain.

And he's still out there on internet dating sites looking for vulnerable women. So the Adrian woman turned to Call 11 for Action problem solver Mika Highsmith hoping to warn others.

Bush thought searching Yahoo Personals would be a good idea.

"Being on the computer, you get to weed out the ones you don't want... you are led to believe," Bush said.

She found someone she thought was the perfect match.

"A cute guy, he had a nice description and he was from Detroit."

But it turns out he actually lives in Nigeria -- and he's not looking for love. It seems what he wants is money.

"He needed me to Western Union him $2,000."

Lucky for Bush, she did her research.

"I googled him the week before and came across things that didn't add up."

She knew his stories were bogus and didn't fall for it -- now she's hoping to save others.

"Check them out before you even meet them. Be smart do your research. Don't give any guy any money. Have the guy wine and dine you. Go slow."

Bush has reported the guy to Yahoo Personals but there's no telling how many sites he's on. So if someone you don't know asks your for money, be smart and don't send it.

SOURCE

Another Online Predator Zeroes in on Lonely Woman

Yet again MORE proof: Stay off all online dating & personals sites. ALL of them are loaded with predators. - Fighter

Carolin Bush wanted companionship, but all the man she met online wanted was financial gain.

And he's still out there on internet dating sites looking for vulnerable women. So the Adrian woman turned to Call 11 for Action problem solver Mika Highsmith hoping to warn others.

Bush thought searching Yahoo Personals would be a good idea.

"Being on the computer, you get to weed out the ones you don't want... you are led to believe," Bush said.

She found someone she thought was the perfect match.

"A cute guy, he had a nice description and he was from Detroit."

But it turns out he actually lives in Nigeria -- and he's not looking for love. It seems what he wants is money.

"He needed me to Western Union him $2,000."

Lucky for Bush, she did her research.

"I googled him the week before and came across things that didn't add up."

She knew his stories were bogus and didn't fall for it -- now she's hoping to save others.

"Check them out before you even meet them. Be smart do your research. Don't give any guy any money. Have the guy wine and dine you. Go slow."

Bush has reported the guy to Yahoo Personals but there's no telling how many sites he's on. So if someone you don't know asks your for money, be smart and don't send it.

SOURCE

INTERNET RAT WHO NETS WOMEN WITH HUNKY PICTURES TRIES TO SCORE AGAIN

BIGAMIST PLOTS TO WED WIFE NO.3
By Billy Paterson

An internet rat is to wed a pretty Norwegian he met on the web - despite being married to TWO other women.

Weedy bigamist Kenneth Robertson snares his victims by posting pictures of hunky male models on internet chatrooms and pretending they are him.

Wives Jean Robertson, 37, of Cumnock, Ayrshire, and Donna Dettling, 46, of Seattle, USA, believe he kept TEN women on the go at the same time while married to them.

Robertson, 39, wed childhood sweetheart Jean in Cumnock Congregational Church in 1987. They had three daughters - but after he got his first computer in the late 90s, she became suspicious about the time he spent surfing the net.

Behind her back he seduced and then married American mum-of-four Donna and now he wants to marry Norwegian Elizabeth Kjaerland.

Jean warned : "He is going for wife No3. I have decided to go to the police and report him for bigamy. This woman Elizabeth doesn't want me to do that but why shouldn't I?"

After chatting Donna up on the net, Robertson went to Seattle and met her. They married at Thurston County Courthouse, Washington State, in September 2003.

Donna said: "I used to feel I was the most stupid person in the universe. But that title has been passed to Elizabeth. She knows he is a bigamist but still thinks he can do no wrong. I hope she will read this in the Sunday Mail and finally see sense. People ask me, 'What were you thinking, getting involved with a guy like that?' But I had just got out of a 10-year marriage. He knows your soft spots and how to manipulate you. The women he has been involved with through the internet are all mothers and that is no coincidence. He posted a picture of a hunk who turned out to be model Marcus Shenkenberg. But as soon as I heard his voice I knew it wasn't him. He has this weak, wimpy voice. You don't care what he looks like because at first he seems such a great guy."

Robertson visited Donna in Seattle in October 2002.

She said: "He told me that he was divorced and I had no reason to doubt him. We were married on September 8, 2003.I now know he is still married to Jean. After the marriage, things changed. He was mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. A detective dealing with the violence discovered that he was in the US illegally. He came over on a 90-day visa and thought, because we were married, he could stay. But the detective said that didn't matter."

Jean's solicitor Gerry Tierney said: "I imagine bigamy is also a crime in Seattle so he may face extradition to answer to that."

At his flat in Coatbridge, Robertson refused to comment before fiance Elizabeth slammed the door.

from: b.paterson@sundaymail.co.uk

(many thanks, as ALWAYS - to ONEOFSEVEN for this great find! - Fighter)

INTERNET RAT WHO NETS WOMEN WITH HUNKY PICTURES TRIES TO SCORE AGAIN

BIGAMIST PLOTS TO WED WIFE NO.3
By Billy Paterson

An internet rat is to wed a pretty Norwegian he met on the web - despite being married to TWO other women.

Weedy bigamist Kenneth Robertson snares his victims by posting pictures of hunky male models on internet chatrooms and pretending they are him.

Wives Jean Robertson, 37, of Cumnock, Ayrshire, and Donna Dettling, 46, of Seattle, USA, believe he kept TEN women on the go at the same time while married to them.

Robertson, 39, wed childhood sweetheart Jean in Cumnock Congregational Church in 1987. They had three daughters - but after he got his first computer in the late 90s, she became suspicious about the time he spent surfing the net.

Behind her back he seduced and then married American mum-of-four Donna and now he wants to marry Norwegian Elizabeth Kjaerland.

Jean warned : "He is going for wife No3. I have decided to go to the police and report him for bigamy. This woman Elizabeth doesn't want me to do that but why shouldn't I?"

After chatting Donna up on the net, Robertson went to Seattle and met her. They married at Thurston County Courthouse, Washington State, in September 2003.

Donna said: "I used to feel I was the most stupid person in the universe. But that title has been passed to Elizabeth. She knows he is a bigamist but still thinks he can do no wrong. I hope she will read this in the Sunday Mail and finally see sense. People ask me, 'What were you thinking, getting involved with a guy like that?' But I had just got out of a 10-year marriage. He knows your soft spots and how to manipulate you. The women he has been involved with through the internet are all mothers and that is no coincidence. He posted a picture of a hunk who turned out to be model Marcus Shenkenberg. But as soon as I heard his voice I knew it wasn't him. He has this weak, wimpy voice. You don't care what he looks like because at first he seems such a great guy."

Robertson visited Donna in Seattle in October 2002.

She said: "He told me that he was divorced and I had no reason to doubt him. We were married on September 8, 2003.I now know he is still married to Jean. After the marriage, things changed. He was mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. A detective dealing with the violence discovered that he was in the US illegally. He came over on a 90-day visa and thought, because we were married, he could stay. But the detective said that didn't matter."

Jean's solicitor Gerry Tierney said: "I imagine bigamy is also a crime in Seattle so he may face extradition to answer to that."

At his flat in Coatbridge, Robertson refused to comment before fiance Elizabeth slammed the door.

from: b.paterson@sundaymail.co.uk

(many thanks, as ALWAYS - to ONEOFSEVEN for this great find! - Fighter)

Dan Jacoby: Busted by his own EGO!

...and guess how he handles it?

Right!! He attacks and smears his victims. Not an ATTEMPT at an apology. Not an OFFER to pay her back the thousands of dollars she spent thinking he's broke... but he's NOT broke.

Noooo... a few people who knew Jacoby's real character had been trying to talk to his Victim and tell her. Here's one example:
Hi Victim -- I don't know exactly what happened to you but I fear that Dan might have spun you the same line he spun many of us on the forum.

He is a serial predator who has promised to marry and move in with at least four women on the forum.

He waits till they are vulnerable or at the end of their recovery and then makes his move.

He is a lying sack of something, Don't beat yourself up too much for falling victim to a predator.

Jacoby doesn't like not getting his own way. I saw him struggle to choose between you and XXX and at the same time send XXXX messages that he would be sitting on the sand with her in Florida. i said nothing as I knew you were too far gone into him to see what he was.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, Victim. I am here if you want to talk. if you want to come down to xxxxxxx we can meet... I am only trying to save you from further grief!!

He's a monster Victim, a clever very sick monster

Best regards XXXX


Here's what Jacoby tells his latest victim (who apparently is one of many) when she confronts him with the above:

From: Dan Jacoby
To: Victim

Good Lord. No wonder you get so "down". This is absolutely criminal!

Now its marriage? This from a "woman" who pulled away from ME! Guess she's upset I didn't go running after her.

Doesn't sound TOO much like a duel effort between XXX and XXX. I couldn't be TOO clever of a "predator" if I posted about my love for you in front of any potential future "victims". Cheerful little things.

Guess that's why their lives are so full and men flock to them.

Jacoby, once caught, changed the link to the video so you had to know the log in. (he does this with a lot of the evidence against him... so he can control who sees it) CLICK HERE:


(notice how Jacoby attacks these past victims as meaningless & crazy, makes a sarcastic comment about them as women and PAINTS HIMSELF AS THE VICTIM. Sounds like Gridney/ Yidwithlid telling Target #2 (who he'd known for 5 weeks) he 'never cared about Target #1' (who he'd known for 27 years). Or John Gash swearing those women in his address book were people he'd worked with. Or Nathan Thomas -- saying anyone who blew his whistle was "just jealous" or (the comment we hear the MOST!) 'a scorned woman.' LOL!!)

Turns my stomach. No wonder I got banned from that board! xxxxxxx - Dan Jacoby

(same baloney as Charles "Ed" Hicks who tells everyone his last 2 wives 'set him up' and he's going to sue the Washington Post, the DA's office in Virginia and Dr. Phil for spreading horrible lies about him. Lies that were documented, on paper and as real as it got. Hicks is still telling women its all lies!

Cyberpaths ALL do this. ALL of them! The one thing they do NOT want? Is their targets to TALK TO EACH OTHER!)

But as research even shows, these sociopathic cyberpaths have their victims so bonded to them (through cybersex and NLP) that they refuse to listen. Then one person sent TV a video of Dan Jacoby...

...out in the sunshine... very much WITH his wife.

Oh and Mr. "I am so broke I can't buy my child a holiday present?" ... was driving a DODGE VIPER.
FROM: DB
(sounds like Clive - who deleted and renamed or reshuffled his online droppings or Gridney/ Yidwithlid who jumped through hoops deleting his escort-reviews from filthy websites and casual sex ads. Additionally - Gridney/ Yidwithlid changed his hate site against his victim so one has to have a blogger account to comment - control, control, control) All this so they can now act like it never happened.

FROM: Dan Jacoby
TO: Friend he wants to impress
June 2007

Thanks, K**. It was rough. Thought I was gonna lose it on the way home. Felt totally disconnected the whole time, but got some sun. My buddy got a kick out of driving, and it was nice to see some folks I hadn't seen in about 4 years. I was nauseous and shaking most of the way back and I'm sure it will take a day or two to get over.

Here are a couple frame grabs from some video we shot today. I'm in the green shirt (and the dark green one's mine). I swear I'm gonna slap the next person who says "But you look great!". Sad

If you're into classic bikes (and new italian ones), I also just finished the complete design and development of my latest website. It went live yesterday and can be seen at SteelhorseClassics.com.

Blue Ridge Parkway...

But notice these egotisical vultures saw no future consequences in putting this stuff (like Jacoby's video) up in the first place?

Unreal how they think their victims won't check; or that their pleas to 'not check up on them' will be followed, or if the victims DO check -- they are "stalkers." LOL

Please remember people - if someone online tells you not to surf them or "if you check up on me it means you don't trust me"? RUN to check on them. Google and go through every single page on them. EVERY link!!

And here's the bullpocky Jacoby gave to his victim when she finally confronted him about the video. Doesn't this sound so familiar? (these cyberpaths are sooooo predictable!)

From: Dan Jacoby

you still don't get it, do you? That video is 7 years old and was posted as a joke because there's a member there who tells everyone "I bet Jacoby never owned [a Viper].

So what do you think is DB's next move, readers?

...are you laughing readers? Because we sure are!!

didn't you see me in the video? Does that person look like how I look today?"

... how would she know for sure? Jacoby picked a victim 3000 miles from him who never him in person!

The Victim's response:

I think it looks like you! Yeah. Of COURSE it's YOU!!!!

You lying scum! Each time before I write you, I pray.

Merciful Father, deliver me from evil.

Yes, that's what these people are - EVIL. They care more about their image than you and your feelings. "I Love You" is like toilet paper to them. And they will bend time & space to lure you in for them to suck dry emotionally, mentally and sometimes financially.

• Apologies, attempts at amends, owning his behavior and treating people online like "things"?
• or Narcissistic Rage? Attacking his victims? Damage Control?

One guess which one he did!!

You could check out Jacoby' s fancy guitar collection below -- but after he found we had the video, he accuse us & The Exposer of "stalking" him and set the video to "private."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4_FyzrKZsQ

Just one of these has been identified as being over $6K (U.S. Funds). And he duped at LEAST one of his victims out of money almost as much money by crying "poverty"!