Types of Evil Personalities

excerpts:
About four percent of the population is evil - that is about one person in twenty five.

The mental abilities of evil people closely echo those of the normal population; there is a bell shaped curve of intelligence in both good and evil people.

Most good people are only aware of the least intelligent part of the evil distribution; those are the people who are obviously evil: criminals. The normal and intelligent ends of the evil distribution totally escape most good people's understanding. In this web page I will describe those undetected parts of evil.

What does an evil person of normal intelligence look like? Most people are very familiar with them. An evil person of normal intelligence is a person who makes life difficult, painful, and unpleasant for the good people around them. The supervisor who creates a crises at work by trying to pour a cup and a half of coffee into a cup and then requires everyone to work holiday's and weekends to clean up the mess - is an example of an evil person of normal intelligence. What distinguishes such people from criminals is that they are quicker learners; they figure out what will happen to them if they pursue the sort of obvious evil things that the least intelligent of the evil spectrum do.

Evil people of normal intelligence are careful to do their best to blend into good society. This insulates and protects them from the angered reaction of good people; who would hammer them just as hard as they hammer the least intelligent of the evil. Indeed, evil people of normal intelligence are so successful at blending into good society that their statements, goals and culture have become 'normal' and 'accepted'.

For example, the comic strip 'Miss Peach' is an example of the behavior and actions of evil people of normal intelligence. The 'Put Down', passive aggressive behavior, insults, 'back stabbing', these are all typical behaviors for evil people of normal intelligence. All of these things are so common that many good people adopt them as reasonable ways to behave; they are not, they are as evil as anything could be.

By far evil people of normal intelligence are the most common type of evil person most people encounter. The stress in most good people's lives comes from interaction with evil people of normal intelligence. The goal of the average evil person is to make the lives of those around them as miserable as they can - without doing enough to attract the retribution they richly deserve.

Next up the ladder is the evil person of above average intelligence. These people have a similar goal to evil people of average intelligence; the production of human misery. However these people see the opportunity to do something that evil people of normal intelligence don't see how to do; murder someone and get away with it. They understand that the way to murder someone and get away with it is to not care who they kill, how they kill them, or when they kill them. Such people set up conditions where someone will be 'accidentally' killed and wait for the circumstances to occur.

That leaves us those who are evil and of high intelligence. Most good people are also familiar with these kind of people; we call them leaders - both of industry and of government. It is the goal of such people to get away with mass murder.

If you are a good person you will meet many evil people in your life, you need to recognize them and their actions. More importantly you need to recognize which evil behaviors you have been conned into excepting as reasonable and to reject those behaviors - both in yourself and in others - as unacceptable.

Of course Yin and Yang complicates the detection of evil; in any good person there is an element of evil - in any evil person there is an element of good. In a good man that element of evil belongs in his fighting spirit - where it causes no harm and strengthens his nature. Incidentally, it is because of this element of evil in the fighting spirit that good triumphs over evil; it is something evil lacks.

original article found here

The Online Predator's Profile

- You know how people are forever telling you to go with your instinct? It's true; you should. If you think an online friend is lying to you, he (or she) most likely is.

- If he seems too good to be true, then obviously and most likely that is the situation. He may present himself as the perfect match to what you are looking for, only someone you wish you could be with. He could share similiarites, make you seem like you're his priority, and seem "perfect" in countless ways. Another precaution to take when you find yourself in a relationship with someone online.

- One who seems they could never betray you, seems trustworthy, and one who would never let you down, is one who is probably very likely to break your trust easily. In fact, the whole time, an online predator is continuously breaking your trust by ensuring you how "trustworthy" he may be, luring you into the fake comforts of the predator.

- In reality, the online predator is insecure, although he may not seem to be in his relationship with you. He can make you look up to him, giving himself a benefit of self-confidence.

- As an obvious point, he may tell you things and plans he has for you, that appears to be a perfect dream to you, but in all truth, he is planning something rather unhealthy or not exactly something you would feel comfort in, even though he makes you think that it is.

- He will lead you to believe that his reputation stands strong in his home area as a well human being. Making you think that he is safe, and well loved and known by many, and is respected by all who knows him, thus making you feel safer in continuing a relationship with him. In reality, the perpetrator, is generally exactly opposite of the person he leads you to believe he is, usually one without such honor, and lacking great reputation among his friends, family, etc.

- He will attack others and belittle many others, but with you as an exception. The person could guide you to believing your "current local boyfriend/spouse", friends, family etc. aren't good enough for you, and make you believe his thoughts as well, sometimes turning you away from those people. He will also slam his spouse/ partner and say she "drove him to the internet" because she doesn't love him/ no sex, etc. And by him denigrating others, he starts to become superior and a higher priority in your life, as he very well planned to.

- It is unlikely that the person has many long-term friends. Especially since the fact that he dedicates so much of his time to luring, tricking, and lying to you (and others). Additionally, a lot of his time is spent shoring up his "belief ceiling" that he's a good guy, a good father/ partner, altruistic or whatever he wants everyone to believe (as well as convincing himself). Which also proves that point that his reputation isn't as great as he claims it to be, leaving him with fewer friends. Most predators don't mind this however; many are accustomed to isolation.

- An online predator cleverly plans things, many times with every little detail mapped and sorted out, making sure he successfully gets you to believing his stories, and him, damaging you as well, for his own benefits and satisfaction, though you don't realize it.

- A predator knows his activities are something he needs to keep discreet, so his online activities are carefully hidden, not revealing what is he doing. He keeps himself a secret and you become part of that secret.

- The person appears to be charming, someone who any person would want to be in a relationship with. He could be the typical "Mr. Right" and fill in every blank that you have wanted in a partner. But obviously, him being "perfect" means he can lure and manipulate his victims with more ease, and getting them to stay because of his "charm".

- The predator makes careful selections in the choice of his victims - usually profiling victims who appear to be in need of a self-esteem boost, certain weaknesses (lonely, divorced, disabled, abused, recovering), etc. and tried his best to comfort you in giving you the "confidence" you need. He scouts out these certain weaknesses from complaining about certain things to him, or straight out telling him. He can work in very smooth ways.

- Of course this person will seem to be amazing and a perfect match for you. They can change themselves to be exactly what you need, and want, thus making you long for them. Anything you like - they like, anything you need - they have, anything you want - they they can get. It may just seem like mere coincidences, and just make you believe this is the perfect partner for you, but remember, they already aren't being their true selves, so they can mold themselves into anything that will suit you perfectly, regardless of their truth. They are 'mirroring' you.

- The person behind the computer may seem to have plenty of self discipline and control over any actions, but in reality, has a major lacking in self control and confidence. The only place they seem to find that control is in this relationship he has created with his victim. And that's a reason why he does so much to keep this relationship active and alive, because it's one of the few things he can take over with. It seems as if he is creating a "fake life" for himself, which is better than his life in reality. In his fake life, he can be anything great that he wants to be, and trick his victim into thinking he is superior and perfect, and forming a relationship with someone that he probably couldn't in reality, as his own self.

(JUST ONE OR TWO OF THESE CHARACTERISTICS IS ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM A PREDATOR!)

original article here

HOW THEY GET SO GOOD AT MANIPULATION

In light of the fact that EOPC considers most cyberpaths narcissistic and/or sociopathic regarding their exploitation of others via the internet, the following may be helpful to victims and those wishing to avoid being victims - EOPC:
It's a known fact that narcissists and psychopaths have amazing powers to sucker and manipulate people. Your typical street con artist is a good example. Authorities warn us not to laugh at the victim and think that we ourselves would never be stupid enough to fall for a con artist's scheme. Indeed, people en masse often fall for one to elect that guy President for Life. Psychopaths routinely sucker even their therapists. Even while still teenagers, they are expert enough at manipulation to do so.

When you are outside the con job's sphere of influence, you see clearly. You wonder what the heck the conned person is thinking. To you it couldn't be more obvious that this is a con job - the warning sirens are blaring. But the mark is oblivious. You wonder what "got into" him or her. (I love that phrase.) They seem under a spell. You see them doing things like automatons, remotely controlled by the manipulator. All he need do is drop hints to control through the mere power of suggestion and - BOOM - the conned person is thinking or doing exactly what the manipulator wants. The victim might as well be a hand or foot of his.

This is truly spooky. How does it happen?

I studied etymology, and what I learned from the archaic root meanings of words convinced me that the mythology of darkness and magic gradually evolved from a lexicon of language struggling to deal with this seemingly magical power some people have.

But it isn't magic.

The problem is that we have no idea how good at manipulation some people are. They are so good at it, that when we find out how good they are, it blows our mind. How do they get so good at it?

Are these narcissists just brilliant, with astronomical IQs? Well, the more intelligent they are, the more dangerous they are, of course. But, no, they aren't all intelligent. They don't have to be.

It's just a simple matter of "practice makes perfect."

You too would be that good a manipulator if you practiced manipulating people 24-7-365 for a lifetime.

When we interact with others, we are usually trying to communicate. Only rarely are we trying to make an impression instead. Narcissists and psychopaths are always trying to make an impression. They are never trying to communicate. In fact, they block attempts to communicate.

Remember when you were a teenager and met that cool guy or gal? In that situation, we are so busy trying to make a good impression that we do embarrassing things. We are so busy trying to SOUND clever that we say the stupidest things. Our mouths get ahead of our brains.

While we are putting on this star-studded performance, we aren't listening to him or her. We are interested only in the KIND of thing they say and the tone of voice they say it in. Their gestures and body language - we don't miss a beat. We aren't interested in their face, only the expression on it. Why? Because we are studying their continuing reaction to our actions: Ah! a smile! Oh-oh, a frown! OK - there - I got the smile back again. Oh good, s/he stepped closer to me.

See what I'm getting at? When we are operating in this mode, everything we say and do is for effect. We observe the effects and tune our behavior to win the kind of reaction we want. In other words, we are PLAYING that person for the reaction we want. We are trying to manipulate him or her. We are manipulating that smile from him or her. If one thing we say or do doesn't win it, we just try something else and keep trying things till we hit upon what impresses that person as something to smile at. Hence, if we blow it and get a frown instead, in our haste to transform it to a smile we can contradict ourselves in two seconds flat.

We are not being ourselves when we do this. We are quite literally being someone else. We are putting on an act. Our true character doesn't come through, because we are acting out the part of an idealized version of ourselves, an impressive idealized version of ourselves, a purely fictitious character. All because our aim isn't to communicate - it's simply to make an impression.

We can laugh about this rite of passage into sexual adulthood now. It's so awkward. We prefer the company of people we can be ourselves with. But even in adulthood people occasionally go into this mode. In a job interview, for example. Or when meeting a famous or important person.

We never get good at manipulating people though, because we seldom get into this mode where we try to.

Now imagine if you were in this mode all the time with everyone your whole life. That's a lot of practice. Through sheer trial and error, you will become an expert at what produces a smile in another person, or a frown or a look of fear or dejection or shame or anger or whatever you want. You will become an expert at what makes them get mad at some third party you are talking about. You will become an expert at what pushes people's buttons to do a whole list of things you want in various situations. You will be an expert at controlling people this way.

straight from the blog of one of our Exposed Cyberpaths!:

"I have 30 years in marketing...

"I already twist facts for a living."

That's what narcissists are, psychopaths are - experts, because they are in this mode all the time with everyone their whole life. Is it even possible for them to cut it out? I doubt it. They don't even know what normal human interaction is. They are always just trying to make an impression. They are never trying to communicate. They block communication. They don't want you to know them. The real them, that is. It's their deepest, darkest secret.

Being in this mode explains why they contradict themselves so fast and furiously when you lock horns with them. Why they are a nervous blur and never hear what you say. Why they don't later recognize your face or remember your name. They aren't paying attention to any of that in a conversation. What you are saying and what they are saying gets tuned out because it doesn't matter to them. Neither does the matter you are discussing. They will say the sky is purple if they think it will draw the reaction from you that they want.

That's a lifetime of 24-7-365 practice at conning and manipulation. Practice makes perfect. So, never, never, never underestimate their powers of con artistry and manipulation. They can and will fool ANYONE.

original article here

THE BAD BOYS OF CYBERSPACE

Getting Known Through Anonymity

Much has been said lately about how anonymity on the internet "disinhibits" people. Feeling relatively safe with their real-world identity hidden, they say and do things they otherwise wouldn't normally say or do in "real life." In some cases, that seems to be a good thing. People may be more honest, open, generous, and helpful. In other cases, however, the nasty side of a person gets unleased.

I'd like to give a slightly different spin to this "disinhibition through anonymity" concept. My basic premise is this: NO ONE WANTS TO BE COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. No one wants to be totally invisible, with no name or identity or presence or interpersonal impact at all. Everyone wants and needs to express some aspect of who they are, to have others acknowledge and react to some aspect of their identity. In some cases, it's a benign feature of who you are. In some cases, not. Anonymity on the internet allows people to set aside some aspects of their identity in order to safely express others. Snerts need someone to react to and affirm their offensive behavior. This need is a bit different than simply catharting their frustrated drives, as the "eros-ridden" idea suggests. Snerts are trying to express some unresolved and warded-off feature of their troubled identity in an (often desperate) attempt to have it acknowledged. Unfortunately, they do it in a way that abuses other people. Under ideal conditions, they may be able to accept and work through those inner feelings and self-concepts that torture them. If not, they will continue to vent that ooze through their online snert identities, while safely dissociating it from their "real world" identity.

Does greater anonymity result in greater deviance? It's an interesting question. Because greater anonymity usually is associated with less accountability for one's actions, the answer would seem to be "yes." (snipped)

The higher prevalence of misbehavior among anonymous users may be more than just a "disinhibiting" effect. Rather than the anonymity simply "releasing" the nasty side of a person, the person may experience the anonymity - the lack of an identity - as toxic. Feeling frustrated about not being known or having a place in the group, the new user acts out that frustration in an antisocial manner. They need to feel that they have SOME kind of impact on others. It's not unlike the ignored child who starts acting "bad" in order to acquire attention from the parent, even if it's scolding and punishment. The squeakiest wheel. Humans, being humans, will almost always choose a connection to others over no connection at all, even if that connection is a negative one. Some snert guests may think (perhaps unconsciously) that their misbehavior is a justified retaliation against a community that they feel has stripped away their identity and alienated them. They reject because they feel rejected.

In rare cases, people who are well known in the community may become the trouble-makers. Social psychology has demonstrated that people with power and status often have "idiosyncrasy credit" - they are given a bit more leeway in violating some of the less critical rules of the community.

EXCERPTED FROM THIS ARTICLE

This is from a fascinating site on the Psychology of Cyberspace which can be read (which we STRONGLY recommend) in full here.) And many many thanks to OneofSeven from our sister site for once again, finding such a wonderful article!! - EOPC

THE AFTERMATH: PTSD

The Aftermath of Trauma:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Far too many of the victims we speak to start out saying "I'm strong, I can handle it." We don't buy it. We get emails months later saying the victim(s) can't eat, sleep or are obsessed with what happened. We recommend all our victims get help from someone who understands this sort of trauma.

(VERY VERY few doctors or counselors "get it" about pathological relationships... even if they say they do)

Most of us build our lives around the belief that we will be relatively safe. Granted, normal daily life involves many stressors, especially in these hectic times, but we expect these pressures to happen and we become accustomed to handling them. The more flexible we are and the more we know ourselves and are in touch with our abilities, the easier it is to deal with normal everyday stress.

Sometimes, however, any of us could be subjected to catastrophic stress. Our feeling of safety in these circumstances can vanish. We could experience terror and a complete inability to know how to handle these situations that are outside of the ordinary realm of experience. These catastrophic events can include physical or sexual abuse, physical attack, mugging, car-jacking, being used, "taken" or emotionally raped or the sudden death of a loved one. It is not only the victims of these events, but also witnesses, families of victims, and helping professionals who can develop severe stress symptoms which can last for months or even years after the event.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the term used to characterize people who have endured highly stressful and frightening experiences and who are undergoing distress caused by memories of that event. It is as if the person just cannot let go of the experience. The event comes back to haunt them. The anxiety experienced during or immediately after a catastrophic event is called traumatic stress. When the symptoms last several months after the event, it is called post-traumatic stress. PTSD can last for years after the original trauma and may not become evident initially. For example, an individual may witness a murder as a child, but not experience the associated stress until mid-life.

Some people are more likely to develop PTSD than others. Experts are not sure why some people develop PTSD after a relatively minor trauma while others exposed to great trauma do not.

Trauma of great severity is more likely to produce PTSD than lesser traumas. For example, it was found with Vietnam War veterans that prolonged combat with sniping and air bombardment produced PTSD more often than brief exposure to combat with few weapons. It has also been found that traumas between people (such as sexual assault and muggings) are more likely to produce PTSD than natural disasters like earthquakes or floods.

Symptoms of PTSD
People can be considered to have PTSD when they have been exposed to an extreme trauma, the symptoms last at least a month in duration, and the symptoms cause excessive distress so that social functioning and job performance are impaired. One sign of PTSD is that the traumatic event is relived repeatedly in the person s mind and this appears in the form of flashbacks, recurrent images, thoughts or dreams about the events, panic attacks...and even nightmares.

Reminders of the event can cause distress so many people go out of their way to avoid places and events that remind them of the catastrophic occurrence. Many people experience anxiety, restlessness, concentration difficulties, decreased memory, irritability, sleeplessness, hypervigilance, or an exaggerated startle response.

Some people even experience what is called survivors guilt because they survived and others did not or because of certain things they may have had to do in order to survive. (Or feel guilty they were "so stupid" and didn't see the red cyberpathy flags)

There are three main clusters of PTSD symptoms, and all three of these groupings must be present for a diagnosis of PTSD.

Intrusive Symptoms: Intrusive and repetitive memories which stir up negative feelings experienced during the trauma can overwhelm a person. These memories can appear in the form of:

* flashbacks (a feeling of reliving the trauma)

* frequent, distressing memories of the trauma

* nightmares

* emotional and physical distress when traumatic memories are triggered.

Arousal Symptoms: PTSD sufferers experience physiological reactions, which indicate that they don t feel safe and they are physically on the alert to deal with danger. These can include:

* being easily startled or feeling jumpy
* hypervigilance (feeling on guard even when the situation is safe)
* concentration difficulties

* sexual numbness or hyperarousal
* outbursts of anger and irritability
* problems in falling asleep or staying asleep.

Avoidance Symptoms: People suffering from PTSD go out of their way to escape the overpowering memories and arousal symptoms. This pattern of behavior can include:

* avoiding places, people or (online) situations that serve as reminders of the trauma
* avoiding thoughts or feelings associated with the trauma
* memory loss about some aspects of the traumatic event
* feeling emotionally numb
* feeling estranged or detached from other people
* feelings of hopelessness and helplessness about the future
* decreased interest in pleasurable activities.

There are other emotional and physical problems that may accompany PTSD. Unfortunately, some people seek relief from these symptoms without dealing with the root cause so that the symptoms persist. (this can include: having drinks to 'relax,' chain smoking, pacing, obsessive or repetitive behaviors, etc) These problems may precede PTSD, in which case they become exacerbated, or they might develop after the onset of PTSD.

The emotional problems include panic disorder, agoraphobia (fear of being out in public), social anxiety (speaking in public), depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, sleep disorders, suicidal thoughts and substance abuse (drugs such as sleeping pills or relaxants or alcohol abuse).

The physical problems can include skin problems, pain, gastrointestinal disorders, fatigue, respiratory problems, low back pain, muscle cramps, headaches, adrenal fatigue, cortisol insufficiency and cardiovascular problems. Some go on to develop autoimmune illnesses such as CFIDS, chronic myofascial pain, fibromyalgia, lupus, M.S. and so on.

It is important to remember that PTSD is a normal reaction to a very abnormal situation. There is no shame in experiencing these symptoms, nor is having these symptoms a sign of weakness. Help is available from trained professionals so that in most cases, with the appropriate effort and courage, the symptoms can disappear completely, or at least substantially decrease and become more manageable.

Getting Help for PTSD
We live in a world of relative safety most of the time but it is a world in which people often lack support for dealing with calamities. In these times we may not have the extended families, long-term friendships, sense of neighborhood, feeling of community or the support from religion that have historically helped people endure times of crisis. We usually get along without difficulty as long as things go smoothly. But when a crisis occurs, we sometimes simply do not know what to do or where to turn.

Traumatic events can leave us stranded. We may lack not only social support when a crisis occurs, but also the language for understanding the place of tragedy in our lives. We may not know how to conceptualize it how to use words that can describe a disaster and make it real. We may not know how to react emotionally when crisis comes into our lives these are feelings that we may have never experienced before and they may frighten us. So we refuse to accept the crisis or to deal with it. We think we are strong and able to endure anything.

Denial comes easily. Refusing or not knowing how to deal with the thoughts and feelings that accompany a major catastrophe, unfortunately, sets us up for PTSD. And it is not our fault.

PTSD is highly treatable, especially if it is caught early. The idea behind the treatment is to process or work through the traumatic event, as well as to manage the immediate troublesome symptoms the person is experiencing. A trained therapist can help the PTSD sufferer to find the words, in a safe and gentle way, to talk about the event and to confront the feelings that accompany the experience. This is not an easy step, but it is a necessary one. While it might seem natural to avoid reliving a painful memory, it is important to face the memories, feel the emotions and try to work through them. When this happens, the trauma no longer controls the person the person is now in control of the memory of the trauma to the extent that he or she can approach it objectively and flexibly.

A person who has survived a traumatic event will probably never feel as if the event never happened, but the distressing and disruptive effects of PTSD can be alleviated. In therapy, a person can learn to describe a coherent account of his or her life. People who are able to do this are much less susceptible to the effects of trauma. Therapists use a number of techniques to help a person work through traumatic events, some involving talking and some involving more physical interventions. Sometimes medication can help to lessen the anxiety, depression and sleep difficulties, as well as the physical symptoms, which go along with PTSD.

DO NOT let anyone tell you medication is a BAD THING! Trauma changes the brain!

The old way of thinking was that the strongest people were those who could hold in their emotions and face tragedy stoically.

Unfortunately, this is precisely the pattern which leads to PTSD.

Real strength comes from knowing oneself and expressing that sense of self in the world with openness, honesty, integrity and courage.

Some PTSD Statistics
Most people who are exposed to extreme stress are able to process their way through their reactions and never develop PTSD.

* It has been estimated that 70 percent of people will be exposed to a traumatic event in their lifetime.

* Of those people, 20 percent will go on to develop PTSD.

* At any given time, an estimated 5 percent of people have PTSD.

* Approximately 8 percent of the population will develop PTSD during their lifetime.

* Women are about twice as likely to develop PTSD as men, mostly because women are more susceptible to experience interpersonal violence, including rape, exploitation and physical beatings.

* Victims of domestic violence and childhood abuse are at tremendous risk for PTSD.

Do You Have PTSD?
Do you have any of the following problems? If you check at least seven of the following items and it is after you have experienced a catastrophic event, it is advisable to have a professional consultation to determine if therapy for PTSD is indicated.

____ 1. I have strong physical sensations (e.g., sweating, rapid heart beat) when I think about the event. or person.

____ 2. I try to avoid having upsetting thoughts or having contact with things or places associated with the event.

____ 3. My feelings are numb and I have difficulty experiencing normal pleasure and happiness.

____ 4. I am always watchful to make sure I don't experience the same event again.

____ 5. I have feelings of guilt associated with the traumatic event.

____ 6. I have the feeling of being unreal or that the world is unreal.

____ 7. I feel alienated or isolated from others.

____ 8. I get irritated or angry a lot.

____ 9. I have flashbacks of the event (feeling like the past event is happening all over again in the present).

____ 10. I have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep because memories of the event come into my mind.

____ 11. I have memory difficulties and trouble concentrating these days.

____ 12. I am easily startled when I hear a loud noise or when danger seems imminent.

____ 13. I have been relying increasingly on alcohol or drugs (or cigarettes) to get through the day.

You never have to go through this alone. Know that there is help for you!

IN ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS: Warning Signs to Look Out For

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SURPRISE! Con Men Targeting Online Dating Sites

By Tamara Cohen and Lynn Davidson

Dating and social networking websites are becoming a magnet for confidence tricksters preying on ‘lonely hearts’, a study reveals. It says as many as 200,000 people may have been persuaded last year to give money to fraudsters using false identities to pursue relationships with them.

But because of the shame victims feel, fewer than 600 cases were reported.

The researchers say ‘rom cons’ are particularly traumatic because of the ‘double hit’ of losing money and what victims had hoped was a romantic relationship. In some cases, victims have committed suicide.

The research at Leicester University – the first to measure the scale of this relatively new crime – found that in a YouGov poll of more than 2,000 British adults, one in every 50 knew a victim.

The fraudsters – usually tied to organised crime and based outside the UK – often use pictures of soldiers or models when making contact with their victims on dating or social networking websites. They then act swiftly to move the ‘relationship’ away from the monitored sites to personal online services such as private email accounts to carry out the fraud, claiming to be in dire financial straits or needing urgent funds that they promise to pay back. In some cases, when victims do not send cash, scammers involve them in money laundering by asking them to accept payments in their bank accounts.

The study’s author, Professor Monica Whitty, said: ‘Our data confirms law enforcement suspicions that this is an under-reported crime, and thus more serious than first thought.

‘This is a concern not solely because people are losing large sums of money to these criminals, but also because of the psychological impact experienced by victims. It may be the shame and upset experienced by the victims deters them from reporting the crime. We believe new methods of reporting the crime are needed.’

Action Fraud, the national fraud reporting and advice centre, identified 592 victims of the crime in 2010. Of these, 203 lost more than £5,000. But the losses can be as high as £240,000, according to the Serious Organised Crime Agency.

Colin Woodcock, senior manager for fraud prevention at the agency, noted that the research found 52 per cent of people had heard of online romance scams, showing ‘progress has been made in raising awareness’.

But he added: ‘Millions of people in the UK remain at risk.

‘By being aware of how to stay safe online, the public can ensure they don’t join those who have lost nearly every penny they had, been robbed of their self-respect and, in some cases, committed suicide after being exploited by these criminals. It is crucial that nobody sends money to someone they meet online, and haven’t got to know well and in person.’

original article here

EOPC HAS KNOWN THIS AND BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS!

Surviving the Cyberpath

It Takes A Strong Individual To Survive An Exploiter
(in this case a Cyberpath would be an 'EXPLOITER')


You really need to admire yourself for surviving an exploitative relationship. I say this very seriously, not flippantly. We all, of course, hope to minimize our involvement with exploitative individuals. But in the course of life, as we know, that’s not always possible.

It is vital, therefore, if you’ve been victimized by and/or are recovering from involvement with an exploiter, to fully, genuinely appreciate (and remind yourself constantly) that you are indeed strong, impressively strong, because only the strong survive exploitation.

Many clients with whom I work (really, most people, I think) tend to see personal strength and insecurity; personal strength and low self-esteem, as incompatible. They balk at the idea that you can be a very strong person and insecure at the same time; that you can be a very strong person even with low self-esteem.

For instance, when someone violates you (especially chronically) and you don’t defend yourself properly, the tendency is to attribute your failure at self-protection to “personal weakeness.” The thought is something like, “If I was a strong person, I wouldn’t have let that abuse occur. I’d have asserted myself, defended myself, drawn the line.”

But it’s not personal weakness that explains the failure to protect your boundaries; it’s more often a lack of clarity in knowing precisely what your boundaries are, and precisely what constitutes an unacceptable violation of them. Victims of sustained exploitation/ abuse aren’t personally weak, quite the contrary. My experience has affirmed again and again how remarkably strong and resourceful most of them are. What they lack, however, often is a clear, secure sense of their boundaries; this insecurity of boundaries leaves them vulnerable to compromising themselves. After all, you can’t assert and/or protect your boundaries unless and until you’ve established them very clearly and securely (in your mind).

This explains what for many can seem so confusing and dichotomous: how a victim of sustained exploitation/abuse can, on the one hand, lobby so effectively for others’ interests while, with respect to her/his own, appear stuck in circumstances s(he’d) counsel anyone else to reject and escape.

But I restate: you can’t protect your interests if they aren’t, in the first place, clearly defined. And you can’t defend your boundaries if, on any level, you’re uncertain, or ambivalent about, what they are. This disadvantaged position helps explain how an otherwise strong, resourceful adult can find her/himself tolerating and enduring the meanness and nonsense of a defective partner.

When my clients who have been in exploitative relationships discover confidently their boundaries, they often feel sad, on one hand, not to have done so sooner; but thrilled on the other to find themselves, as if miraculously, just as skilled at protecting their own interests as they’ve always been at protecting others’.

It’s a kind of bittersweet discovery. The bitter part, if grieved properly, is usually short-lived; the sweet aspect is longlasting.


Steve Becker, MSW, LCSW, CH.T

SEXUAL PREDATORS TARGET SINGLE/ DISABLED/ DIVORCED/ ABUSED MOMS

DIVORCED, ABUSED, DISABLED
OR SINGLE MOM?

AN ONLINE PREDATOR IS LOOKING FOR YOU!

(As EOPC has said - PREDATORS HUNT THE WOUNDED! Are you divorced, alone, depressed, single, disabled, verbally/ emotionally abused, single parent and online? You're a Target!)

More than 20 million Americans log on to their computers each month looking for love, according to Online Dating Magazine.

While getting to know a potential mate from the privacy of their home may be comforting to some — especially single women getting back in the dating pool — it is not without danger. A growing number of sexual predators and pedophiles are taking advantage of online anonymity and using dating sites to prey on single/ divorced/ disabled/ abused mothers and their children.

One single mother, who asked that her identity be withheld to protect her daughter, had such an experience.

She met her future husband online and within in six months, the couple were living together. Two years into the relationship they married.

"At the time, it just seemed magical," she said. "It was the dream come true."

Discovering the Truth
But FBI agents said they discovered the man's true intentions when an undercover agent intercepted his e-mails during an online chat. "These e-mails indicated that he actually married the mother to have access to the child," said FBI Special Agent Deborah McCarley.

Police said women looking for companionship can be easy targets. In this case, the man took advantage of the mother's vulnerability to get to her 6-year-old daughter.

"I think I was really looking for someone to rescue me, although I didn't recognize it at the time," the mother said.

The mother said she decided to speak out for the first time on "Good Morning America" to help other women.

Confronting the Allegations
The woman said she had no idea any abuse was taking place and saw no warning signs until the day the FBI knocked on her door.

"That day I felt like somebody stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out my brain," she said. "It really just felt like I had been punched in the stomach."

A tape obtained by "GMA" captured her anguish as she confronted her husband on the phone.

Mother: How could you do this to me?

Husband: How could I do it to anybody? I don't know.

Mother: How could you do it to her?

Husband: I'm sorry. I have no answer.

Mother: I trusted you!

Husband: I know. You're right.

Mother: I loved you with all my heart!

Husband: What I have done is evil and it's wrong and there are going to be a lot of people that are going to hate me now. And I don't blame any of them.

Not only did her now-former husband molest her daughter, but he also offered the girl to other pedophiles online. Authorities stepped in just in time.

"I'd never say that I was going to kill myself, but there's times where I wish that I would die," the mother said.

Now, the couple have divorced. The ex-husband currently is serving 30 years in prison for his crimes, while his victim continues her health process.

"She's awesome," the mother said. "She's doing so well. She's got her sense of self-worth back, and I'm so proud of her."

A Disturbing Trend?
This case is just one example of predators using dating sites/ reunion sites/ penpal sites/ single or divorced parent sites and even Christian dating sites to supplement their crimes.

After conducting online searches and talking to law enforcement officers around the nation, "GMA" uncovered cases of dangerous online dating situations all across the country.

The research found instances of sex offenders trolling Web sites and not mentioning their pasts, Internet romances that led to beatings and rapes and felons who never admitted their convictions in their dating profiles.

"Once they feel comfortable on that Internet, they feel like they're shielded because they're on that computer," said Phoenix Police Department Sgt. Andy Hill.

Celeste Moyers, the director of the Safer Online Dating Alliance, said that if someone wants to do harm, that person will find a way to do it.

"People are caught off guard," she said. "Even the smartest savviest online dater can be a victim of sexual assault."

Protecting Yourself
States including New Jersey are considering legislation that will require dating sites to clearly disclose whether or not they conduct background screenings on members.

Don't EVER use your personal e-mail address. Don't include information in this new address that would allow a predator to identify you.

Do not EVER post pictures of yourself or your children or give out details about their sexes or ages ANYWHERE online (that includes Facebook).

SOURCE

Cyberpaths Cause PTSD! You Are Not Losing Your Mind!

EOPC has taken excerpts from the late Tim Field's seminal work on Bullying and adjusted it for the victims of Cyberpaths. It fits the criteria and should be illustrative for both victims & their friends/ family.

The PTSD any victim has have from any dealings with a cyberpath:

• is not something you should be ashamed of, you did NOTHING wrong.
  
• You had NO WAY of knowing the cyberpath's true intentions.you are NOT at fault in any way -- you need to be validated.
• Saying "get over it" or "it's no big deal" to you is re-victimizing you-- you need properly trained therapists.
• If your therapist tells you to "just move on" -- you may need a new therapist or to educate your current one.
  

PTSD, Complex PTSD and bullying

It's widely accepted that PTSD can result from a single, major, life-threatening event, as defined in DSM-IV. Now there is growing awareness that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents. To differentiate the cause, the term "Complex PTSD" is used.

There has recently been a trend amongst some psychiatric professionals to label people suffering Complex PTSD as a exhibiting a personality disorder, especially Borderline Personality Disorder. This is not the case - PTSD, Complex or otherwise, is a psychiatric injury and nothing to do with personality disorders.

It seems that Complex PTSD can potentially arise from any prolonged period of negative stress in which certain factors are present, which may include any of:

• lack of means of escape,
• entrapment,
• repeated violation of boundaries,
• betrayal,
• rejection,
• bewilderment,
• confusion,
• and - crucially - lack of control, loss of control and disempowerment.

It is the overwhelming nature of the events and the inability (helplessness, lack of knowledge, lack of support etc) of the person trying to deal with those events that leads to the development of Complex PTSD.

Situations which might give rise to Complex PTSD include bullying, harassment, abuse, domestic violence, stalking, unresolved grief, [emotional rape, involvement with a cyberpath, betrayal], etc.

Until recently, little (or no) attention was paid to the psychological harm caused by [cyberpathy]. Misperceptions (usually as a result of the observer's lack of knowledge or lack of empathy) still abound:

"It's something you have to put up with" (like rape or repeated sexual abuse?) and "It will toughen you up" (ditto).

Stalker types

Intimate partner: this stalker, the most common type, is a partner or more usually an ex-partner who can't and wont accept that a relationship has come to an end. They can't let go.

Vengeful stalker: this is the most dangerous type whose mission is to get even and/or take revenge. Mostly male, he has a grudge and he's going to do something about it.

Delusional stalker: this one has a history of mental illness which may include schizophrenia or manic depression and psychopathy. This stalker may have stopped taking his or her medication and now lives in a fantasy world composed of part reality and part delusion which he is unable to differentiate. If they're not careful, targets of the delusional stalker are likely to be sucked in to this fantasy world and start to have doubts about their own sanity, especially if the stalker is intelligent, and intermittently and seamlessly lucid and appears "normal".

Erotomaniac: this stalker is also delusional and mentally ill and believes he or she is in love with you and will have created an entire relationship in their head.

Variations

Harasser stalker: some stalker types like to be the center of attention and may have an attention-seeking personality disorder; they may not be stalkers in the strict sense of the word but repeatedly pester anyone (especially anyone who is kind, vulnerable or inexperienced) who might be persuaded to pay them attention. They may select a victim who they stalk by fabricating claims of harassment by this person against themselves. Click here for more on attention-seeker personality types.

Cyberstalkers, Cyberpaths and love rats: again, these may not be stalkers in the strict sense of the word but they have many similar characteristics. Cyberstalkers and love rats surf the web with the intention of starting relationships and may have several simultaneous relationships. The targets of a cyberstalker may know little about the person they are talking to (other than what they've convincingly been fed) and be unaware of a trail of other targets past and present. [BBC News Online item]

Troll. The Troll's purpose is to be given more credibility than (s)he deserves, and to suck people into useless, pointless, never-ending, emotionally-draining, ranting discussions full of verbal loops and "word labyrinths" (word salad), playing people against each other, hurting their feelings, and wasting their time and emotional energy. [More on Trolls]

It's common for stalkers to exhibit characteristics of more than one of these stalking types.

Warning signs

These are the signs to be alert to:

• refuses to accept "no" for an answer

• isolates you from your friends and/or family or harasses your friends/ family

• puts you down in front of your family or friends

• sends frequent unsolicited or unwelcome gifts

• makes offers of unsolicited help

• excessive niceness in the early stages

• use of guilt to manipulate your feelings or to force you into courses of action you feel uncomfortable with

• extreme jealousy

• frequent loss of temper

• follows you everywhere online or off
  

• threats

• emotional and verbal abuse

• threats of damage or destruction to your property

• talks about violence or is fascinated with themes of violence

• makes your family or friends feel scared or uneasy
  

[Dealing with a Cyberpath], often over a period of months or years, results in symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. How do the PTSD symptoms resulting from bullying meet the criteria in DSM-IV?

A. The prolonged (chronic) negative stress resulting from dealing with a [cyberpath] has lead to threat of loss of job, career, health, livelihood, often also resulting in threat to marriage and family life. The family are the unseen victims.

A.1.One of the key symptoms of prolonged negative stress is reactive depression; this causes the balance of the mind to be disturbed, leading first to thoughts of, then attempts at, and ultimately, suicide.

A.2.The target of the cyberpath may be unaware that they are being exploited, and even when they do realize (there's usually a moment of enlightenment as the person realizes that the criticisms and tactics of control, etc are invalid),

they often cannot bring themselves to believe they are dealing with a disordered personality who lacks a conscience and does not share the same moral values as themselves.

Naivety is the great enemy. The target is bewildered, confused, frightened, angry - and after enlightenment, very angry.

B.1. The target experiences regular intrusive violent visualizations and replays of events and conversations; often, the endings of these replays are altered in favour of the target.

B.2. Sleeplessness, nightmares and replays are a common feature.

B.3. The events are constantly relived; night-time and sleep do not bring relief as it becomes impossible to switch the brain off. Such sleep as is achieved is non-restorative and people wake up as tired, and often more tired, than when they went to bed.

B.4. Fear, horror, chronic anxiety, and panic attacks are triggered by any reminder of the experience, e.g.receiving threatening letters or email from the [cyberpath or their friends, their family or attorneys. Additionally postings on online boards or sites about the victim can add to these triggers and health related issues tremendously.]

B.5. Panic attacks, palpitations, sweating, trembling, vomitting, binge eating or forgetting to eat, ditto.
Criteria B4 and B5 manifest themselves as immediate physical and mental paralysis in response to any reminder of the [cyberpathy] or prospect being forced to take action against the [cyberpath].

C. Physical numbness (toes, fingertips, lips) is common, as is emotional numbness (especially inability to feel joy). Sufferers report that their spark has gone out and, even years later, find they just cannot get motivated about anything.

C.1. The target tries harder and harder to avoid saying or doing anything which reminds them of the horror of the exploitation.

C.2. Almost all callers to the Workplace Bullying Advice Line report impaired memory; this may be partly due to suppressing horrific memories, and partly due to damage to the hippocampus, an area of the brain linked to learning and memory

C.3. the person becomes obsessed with resolving the experience which takes over their life, eclipsing and excluding almost every other interest.

C.4. Feelings of withdrawal and isolation are common; the person just wants to be on their own and solitude is sought.

C.5. Emotional numbness, including inability to feel joy (anhedonia) and deadening of loving feelings towards others are commonly reported. One fears never being able to feel love again.

C.6. The target becomes very gloomy and senses a foreshortened career - usually with justification. Many targets ultimately have severe psychiatric injury, severely impaired health.

D.1. Sleep becomes almost impossible, despite the constant fatigue; such sleep as is obtained tends to be unsatisfying, unrefreshing and non-restorative. On waking, the person often feels more tired than when they went to bed. Depressive feelings are worst early in the morning. Feelings of vulnerability may be heightened overnight.

D.2. The person has an extremely short fuse and is often permanently irritated, especially by small insignificant events. The person frequently visualises a violent solution, e.g. arranging an accident for, or murdering the cyberpath; the resultant feelings of guilt tend to hinder progress in recovery.

D.3. Concentration is impaired to the point of precluding preparation for legal action, study, work, or search for work.

D.4. The person is on constant alert because their fight or flight mechanism has become permanently activated.

D.5. The person has become hypersensitized and now unwittingly and inappropriately perceives almost any remark as critical.

E. Recovery from a cyberpath experience is measured in years. Some people never fully recover.

F. For many, social life ceases and work becomes impossible.

Common symptoms of PTSD and Complex PTSD that sufferers report experiencing

• hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
• exaggerated startle response
  
• irritability
  
• sudden angry or violent outbursts flashbacks
• nightmares
  
• intrusive recollections, replays
• violent visualizations
  
• triggers
  
• sleep disturbance
  
• exhaustion, adrenal fatigue and chronic fatigue
  
• reactive depression
  
• guilt
• shame
• feelings of detachment
  
• avoidance behaviors
  
• nervousness
• anxiety
  
• phobias about specific daily routines, events or objects
  
• irrational or impulsive behaviour
  
• loss of interest
  
• loss of ambition
  
• anhedonia (inability to feel joy and pleasure)
  
• poor concentration
  
• impaired memory
  
• joint pains, muscle pains (sometimes becomes Fibromyalgia and/or Chronic Myofascial Pain)
  
• emotional numbness
  
• physical numbness
  
• low self-esteem
  
• an overwhelming sense of injustice and a strong desire to do something about it.

Associated symptoms of Complex PTSD

Survivor guilt:
Levels of guilt are also abnormally raised. The person may also find themselves being abnormally and inappropriately generous and giving.

Shame, embarrassment, guilt, and fear are encouraged by the [cyberpath], for this is how ALL abusers - including child sex abusers - control and silence their victims.

Marital disharmony:
the target becomes obsessed with understanding and resolving what is happening and the experience takes over their life; partners become confused, irritated, bewildered, frightened and angry; separation and divorce are common outcomes.

Breakdown
The word "breakdown" is often used to describe the mental collapse of someone who has been under intolerable strain. There is usually an (inappropriate) inference of "mental illness". All these are lay terms and mean different things to different people. I define two types of breakdown:

Nervous breakdown or mental breakdown is a consequence of mental illness

Stress breakdown is a psychiatric injury, which is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation

The two types of breakdown are distinct and should not be confused. A stress breakdown is a natural and normal conclusion to a period of prolonged negative stress; the body is saying "I'm not designed to operate under these conditions of prolonged negative stress so I am going to do something dramatic to ensure that you reduce or eliminate the stress otherwise your body may suffer irreparable damage; you must take action now".

A stress breakdown is often predictable days - sometimes weeks - in advance as the person's fear, fragility, obsessiveness, hypervigilance and hypersensitivity combine to evolve into paranoia (as evidenced by increasingly bizarre talk).

If this happens, a stress breakdown is only days or even hours away and the person needs urgent medical help. The risk of suicide at this point is heightened.

Often the cause of negative stress can be traced to the behavior of one individual. The [cyberpath].

The person who suffers a stress breakdown is often treated as if they have had a mental breakdown; they are sent to a psychiatrist, prescribed drugs used to treat mental illness, and may be encouraged - sometimes coerced or sectioned - into becoming a patient in a psychiatric hospital.

The sudden transition to a ward containing schizophrenics, drug addicts and other people with genuine long-term mental health problems adds to rather than alleviates the trauma.

Words like "psychiatrist", "psychiatric unit" etc are often translated by work colleagues, friends, and sometimes family into "nutcase", "shrink", "funny farm", "loony" and other inappropriate epithets.

The [cyberpath] encourages this, often ensuring that the victim's record contains a reference to the person's "mental health problems".

Sometimes, the [cyberpath] produces their own amateur diagnosis of mental illness - but this is more likely to be a projection of the bully's own state of mind and should be regarded as such.

The [target] often thinks they are going mad, and may be encouraged in this belief by those who do not have that person's best interests at heart. They are not going mad;

PTSD is an injury, not an illness.

Sometimes, the term "psychosis" is applied to mental illness, and the term "neurosis" to psychiatric injury. The main difference is that a psychotic person is unaware they have a mental problem, whereas the neurotic person is aware - often acutely.

The [cyberpath]'s lack of insight into their psychopathic behavior and its effect on others has the hallmarks of a psychosis, although this obliviousness would appear to be a choice rather than a condition.

Hypersensitivity and hypervigilance are likely to cause the person suffering PTSD to react unfavorably to the use of these words, possibly perceiving that they, the target, are being blamed for their circumstances.

A frequent diagnosis of stress breakdown is "brief reactive psychosis", especially if paranoia and suicidal thoughts predominate. However, a key difference between mental breakdown and stress breakdown is that a person undergoing a stress breakdown will be intermittently lucid, often alternating seamlessly between paranoia and seeking information about their paranoia and other symptoms.

The person is also likely to be talking about resolving their situation (which is the cause of their problems).

Transformation
A stress breakdown is a transformational experience which, with the right support, can ultimately enrich the experiencer's life. However, completing the transformation can be a long and sometimes painful process.

The Western response - to hospitalise and medicalize the experience, thus hindering the process - may be well-intentioned, but may lessen the value and effectiveness of the transformation.

How would you feel if, rather than a breakdown, you viewed it as a breakthrough?How would you feel if it was suggested to you that the reason for a stress breakdown is to awaken you to your mission in life and to enable you to discover the reason why you have incarnated on this planet?

How would it change your view of things if it was also suggested to you that a stress breakdown reconfigures your brain to enable you to embark on the path that will culminate in the achievement of your mission?

SOURCE